Saving the Princess
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Kindergarten Sunday school class
Learned about Even being made from Adams rib
Kid named Johnny was on the floor
Horrible stomach ache
Johnny, what’s wrong
I don’t feel very good, I think I’m having a wife!
YouVersion: Saving the Princess
YouVersion: Saving the Princess
Genesis 2:18-25 and Ephesians 5:22-33
How Did Marriage Start?
How Did Marriage Start?
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
Why did God make Eve?
“It is not good that the man should be alone!
Illustration: What happens to us when we’re alone?
When I was a bachelor...
I set aside $1,000 mo. to spend on stupid things
Trampolines, airsoft guns, hockey gear...
I drove a fast car
But had $200 in savings - and was proud!
I only ate Del Taco and Jack in the Box
You don’t even know what that is...
Imagine only eating at Taco John’s and Culver’s
I went to grocery store twice...
Never did dishes, our carpet was black (not original), dishes piled in the sink
If I never married Tasha I’d probably be dead!
It was not good for this man to be alone!
God said the same thing about Adam
Look in Genesis 1-2
First 6 days - God made light, space and water, the atmosphere, oceans, land and vegetation, the sun, moon, and seasons, sea creatures and birds, land animals and also mankind - it was good!
Then God rested, everything is good!!
Then later, Adam had been alone for awhile...
God said, It is NOT good that man should be alone...
That’s the first thing that isn’t good in God’s creation
Marriage was created to fix that problem
How many of us look at our marriages that way?
Men, do you look at your wife as God’s kind solution to your shortcomings?
You should!
Ladies, do you look at yourself as the solution to your husbands problems?
Mmmhmm! That man would be lost without me!
Something interesting - “helper fit for him”
Other translations:
Suitable for him
Completing for him
Companion for him
Comparable to him
I’ve mentioned before there are things men can’t do!
Like carrying children
Many respond - all I am is someone who has babies
1st of all - NO! Women have way more than just that...
2nd of all - Having babies is a beautiful and honorable role!
Why does our society view that as inferior?
Leadership is more important than nurturing?
That is an immature and ignorant view on reality
God used Mary to give birth to Jesus! Not Joseph...
Interesting God would use a woman to bring the Savior into the world...
That should tell us about God’s view of women!
11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.
Let’s go deeper into our context
23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Modern translation:
Whoa baby! That girl is a hottie!
She’s so much better than the hippos and donkeys I’ve been hanging out with!
Adam didn’t respond with “hello slave, go make me dinner!”
He actually saw two things:
1. Bone of MY bones, flesh of MY flesh..
Means she's just like me
2. Also, she shall be called something different, because she is different than me
This is where we get something called “complementarianism”
She’s equal to me, but we’re different
To pretend women are the same as men is ridiculous! (Egalitarianism)
Different body parts, hormones, strengths, weaknesses...
But just because we’re different, doesn’t mean we have different values!
I talked about this before - 4 quarters and a dollar bill are equal values
But they’re certainly different - just try putting a bill in a coin slot!
Here is the foundation of marriage right here:
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Let’s explore this a bit...
Let’s view this idea of oneness from 3 perspectives
Dating
Marriage
Divorce
Need to listen to all!
For your kids, friends, and future!
Dating
Dating
What is dating?
What is dating?
1. Finding a partner you can work with
1. Finding a partner you can work with
Fairy tale formula:
You meet someone
There are a dozen red flags
You overcome an outrageous problem
You live happily ever after
Fairy tale marriages are a game!
I mentioned this last year
You’re a rebellious rich girl with a pet tiger
This prince shows up and sweeps you off your feet
Turns out he’s a liar and he’s poor!
It’s okay though, he has a giant blue genie that fixes all of his problems
Except he frees the genie and no longer has any wishes!
What’s going to happen when he becomes the sultan? You gonna get along?
You think he’s going to stop lying, cheating and stealing to get what he wants?
You’re gonna have some problems girl!
Even video games! Mario Bros.
If it taught me anything...
Even an Italian plumber can find a princess in a magical world if he squeezes himself down the drain and eats some mushrooms to help him fight a dragon!
Look at the end!
Even when it’s over - it’s still not over!
They’ve been making sequels for 38 years!
Things still aren’t happy for old Mario!
Still fighting Koopas and pirañas and Wario
We often foolishly tackle romance like it’s a Disney movie
Unfortunately, the “happily ever after” isn’t just a line at the end
It’s something you have to WORK for!
Gary Thomas: “A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make and you have to keep on making it.”
But I thought my fairy godmother was going to handle that!
Nope, it’s all you
2. Finding a permanent partner
2. Finding a permanent partner
Too many of us expect the happily ever after, see that it’s work and say, “Oh! Never mind then!”
With God, it’s not an option!
When you make that covenant with another person...
He expects you to stick it out and stay committed
How do we know? 2 become one flesh!
Let’s look at what Jesus says about that:
7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Sometimes we try to find a biblical reason to quit...
When we should be remembering biblical reasons to commit
Far too often in counseling I hear “I made a mistake when before we got married”
I shouldn’t have married her in the first place
Dating is your time to prevent that
You’re looking for a permanent partner...
That doesn’t mean the person you date is permanent
3. Not a permanent commitment
3. Not a permanent commitment
So then DATING is a time to make sure you’re finding the right one!
Dating isn’t the time to work hard on things...
It’s the time to find the person you will work on hard things with!
If you’re going to buy a car, you test drive it!
If you’re going to draft a QB, you watch him at the combine!
If you’re going to buy a new laptop, you read reviews!
Why then do we often choose our life partner based on emotions?
Because we don’t take commitment seriously from the beginning
Ever buy a car with a $250 payment limit and leave with a $400 payment?
Well, it’s not what I want but I can stretch this and eliminate that then get this!
With dating, yeah you’re lazy, you’ve cheated twice and talk to me like a jerk...
But I love him so I’ll marry him and it will all get better! No it won’t!
Dating is your time to walk away!
Learn the things you need and don’t need
4. Finding the right partner for you
4. Finding the right partner for you
What should you do?
1. Write a list of the MUST HAVES and CAN’T HAVES from another person
And NEVER compromise on them
(List may be updated after a break up!)
If they needs to be a Christian - if you are one this is a must
DO NOT COMPROMISE!
If you absolutely want kids, don’t date someone who doesn’t!
If you firmly believe in traditional values, don’t marry someone who hates them!
2. When you picture that person that you need/want...
Work on becoming the type of person that they deserve!
If you strongly value them being faithful, save yourself for them (should do anyway)
If you value their work ethic, make sure you work hard
If you want them to be attractive, better keep up on yourself
5. It’s an investment
5. It’s an investment
Dating takes time
Sometimes we panic if we don’t have a GF or BF
No, take the time to do it right
It will save you lots of heartache later
It may take time, so realize it’s okay to be single!
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
Some have the gift of marriage
Some the gift of singleness
Both are GOOD!
This will set up a good marriage!
Marriage
Marriage
So let’s look at marriage and what it looks like
What is Marriage?
What is Marriage?
1. Marriage requires leaving and cleaving
1. Marriage requires leaving and cleaving
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Leave those who took care of you so you can take care
Illustration: Tami brought that guys over
When do you become responsible for yourself?!
You’re 35, that used to be the life expectancy!
Getting married is a decision to carry your weight!
Neil Clark Warren teaches that you should minimize baggage before entering a relationship
Other person is not responsible for carrying your bags
They can help you, but you also have to help them!
Bringing too much for both of you is still too much!
Whiteboard drill
2. Healthy marriages require love and respect
2. Healthy marriages require love and respect
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Women model the role of the church with respect
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.
Men model the role of Christ with love
Reveal whiteboard switch
Men cannot receive worship (unworthy)
Must be substituted with grace
Ruth Graham: “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
The problem with many marriages today, is they NEVER look at marriage like this
This is interesting - look at how Paul finishes the chapter
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Notice Paul’s reasoning is the same as our passage
One flesh means we are bonded in love/respect
3. Marriage requires sacrificial love
3. Marriage requires sacrificial love
This is about SERVING each other - not ourselves!
Love is both emotional and practical!
Requires us to feel, but also to act
We can’t only focus on ourselves
He doesn’t make me happy
She never let’s me go out
He never does what I ask him
She never wants to get frisky
Marrying someone only for personal gain is a GAME!
If you enter a covenant to serve the other person and measure it by how you get served, you’ve made a horrible decision!
We get married to sacrificially love the other person and care for them
Not to only gain for ourselves
Lisa TerKeurst: “God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix him’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘love him’ wife.”
Think of it this way
You wake up and make yourself a cup of coffee
Your spouse comes down and makes themselves a cup of coffee
What do you get? A cup of coffee!
OR
You wake up and make your spouse a cup of coffee
Your spouse comes down and makes you a cup of coffee
What do you get? A cup of coffee!
AND 2 people who are caring for each other
Something valuable in the intangible art of serving each other
4. Marriage is meant to be centered on God
4. Marriage is meant to be centered on God
This is most important - but least recognized
Revelation talks about the marriage supper
Scripture says that the church/Jesus is a marriage!
As we’ve seen in Ephesians, we are copying that
We all know divorce statistics are horrible - 42-45%
They say the church isn’t any better!
Our view is twisted - what is it for?
Is it about the relationship?
You don’t need Jesus
Is it about having kids?
What if you can’t?
Those are all important facets of marriage
But the key is God
Among Christians the divorce rate is equal
BUT! If you are active in church… 35% decrease!
12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Husband, wife, God!
When God is the center of your marriage, it is not quickly broken
It takes WORK to destroy it!
Divorce
Divorce
Scripture is the instruction manual for our life
If you don’t follow it, it’s no wonder it’s broken!
#1 killer of marriages? SELFISHNESS!
#1 killer of marriages? SELFISHNESS!
You know what I rarely see? Divorced people repent...
I’m glad he’s gone!
That woman is evil!
We don’t take God’s view of marriage seriously!
You know who does? Satan!
Why do you think he attacks it so hard?
I have never seen a divorce not a result of sin - ever!
God NEVER has an intention to break apart the unity of a marriage
Only people do that
It bothers me when people get divorced because “God told them to”
He wants me to be with that person - my future is without you...
That’s when you know Satan has a foothold!
Remember Paul said single is good
Also, married is good
But to go from single to married to divorce is NEVER GOOD
(I’m not talking about death of a spouse)
The only way to end up in divorce is if sin is involved - period
Theoretically only one person must sin to end in divorce...
But I have NEVER seen it… it’s always the sin of husband and wife
Any arranged marriages in here?
So if your marriage fails, you are AT LEAST responsible for the choice you made
When it’s done - even if you believe you’re the victim...
You should repent!
Lord, we made a covenant to show the world your love...
We failed
We consider divorce for our own gain
We hardly ever consider the pain it causes God
That’s why Scripture says God HATES divorce
HATES it!
That’s why it’s so important that we protect it
Closing
Closing
Sgt. First Class Joseph Gantt was laid to rest in Dec of 2013
Fought in Korea and was captured in 1950/killed in 51
No body, N. Korea never confirmed
Clara Gantt waited decades
Went to govt. meetings regularly to learn
Bought house intentionally landscaped so he only had to go fishing
She finally got the call when she was 94
Brought his remains and buried with full honors
“He told me if anything happened to him, he wanted me to remarry. And I told him ‘No, no.’ Here I am, still his wife, and I’m going to remain his wife until the day the Lord calls me home.”
Clara made a permanent decision to love Joseph
That’s it - and she stuck to it
But what if he this
Or what if she that
I get we can come up with all sorts of excuses
But what if you decided to make your marriage count?
What if Jesus came BEFORE the excuses?
What if we actually viewed our spouse as the child of God that they are?
What if we quit playing games, and started taking marriage seriously?
I’ll tell you this, the world would be a much better place
Prayer
Prayer