Influence--Making the Connection

Introduction

Throughout this series, I have asked you to imagine the people who have influenced you. We have asked many questions. What kind of person does it take to influence? What attitude influences and which do not?

Today, imagine the same people but ask a different question, “How did they influence you?” It’s not about what they taught you but what were the building blocks, perhaps even unknown to them, that were present to help create the atmosphere of influence.

People say, “I just live my life and let that speak for itself.” That’s accidental influence. It might happen, but it might not. It is, at best hit-and-miss.

In this lesson, we want to explore the idea of deliberate influence, creating the conditions in which influence becomes more vibrant and powerful.

And there is no place better to start than with Jesus. He came into the world to influence and teach.

Discussion

Jesus the Influencer

In the little story, Luke records in 

Luke 19  is one every Bible class child knows. They sing the song “Zaccheus was a wee little man” Zaccheus, a hated and shunned tax collector, wanted to see Jesus as Jesus makes his way through Jericho. He came, but the crowds pushed to the edge of the route. And, being small in stature, cannot catch even a glimpse of Jesus. So, he shinnies up a sycamore tree where he has an eagle-eye vantage point. 

Jesus comes by, invites himself to dinner at Zaccheus’ house, and changes his life direction. Why pick Zaccheus? That’s what the ticked-off crowd wants to know. The answer was simple.

Luke 19:10 ESV

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

Jesus had a purpose. Jesus laser-focused on reaching the reachable and ignored the idling spectator. He deliberately acted on this purpose in every situation. 

Jesus was an intentional influencer.

Let’s do an autopsy on one situation in which he influenced a woman to want to know more. It occurs in the hostile territory of Samaria in a place overlaid with significance. Let’s look at John 4  this morning.

John 4:1–7 ESV

Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour. A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.”

The scene is simple. Jesus leaves Judea to go back to the fertile preaching territory of his native Galilee. Most would avoid the filthy Samaritans. Their mixed breeding with the Assyrians betrayed a lack of true faith in God. At least that that is how the typical Jew saw it. Jews would make an extra day's journey to avoid them. After all, those people were not savable.

Not Jesus. He takes the direct route and the noon sun was high in the sky and parched throats and growling stomachs searched for food and water. His disciples left him alone to search, and he sat down by a well, a well dug by Jacob, that father of the Israelites. It was at Sychar and had furnished its water for centuries.

Now, Jacob and Jesus meet by this well. An observer would not give it a second thought. A man sitting by the well in the noon sun was not all that strange. 

But Jesus takes the routine and makes it eternal.

Jesus speaks to the woman. Women were property in Palestinian thinking, not worthy of conversation except by their husbands in private. And Jesus, a Jewish man, speaks to a Samaritan woman. How shocking must it have been? It did get the woman’s attention.

So, Jesus has a request. Give me a drink. It sounds simple, but these three words crack open the door of eternity.

And then Jesus expands the conversation. If you know who I was, I would be giving you living water, water that was alive and invigorating in ways you can’t even imagine.

He has the woman’s attention.

John 4:11–14 ESV

The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

The woman is perplexed. Jesus has no bucket, no rope. Where is he going to get this water? Jacob, the great patriarch, gave us this water and, who are you?

Then, Jesus coaxes carefully.

The expression is, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Jesus doesn’t believe it because he adds a phrase...” but you can feed him potato chips.”

He wants to make this woman thirsty for more than water.

John 4:15–18 ESV

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

Now it gets complicated. The woman is confused. I’d love not to have to come out to this well every day. Can you give it to me?

A good salesman would have a pen and contract in front of her at this point. But Jesus wants to change lives, not sell ideas.

He gets personal. He asks the woman about her husband, knowing her strange background. She has had serial marriages and now is in what seems to be an illicit relationship. No wonder she comes by herself. She is the town pariah!

Jesus doesn’t give up. Her answer doesn’t shock him and he stays with her.

John 4:19–26 ESV

The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”

Now, Jesus can involve her. She wants to deflect the conversation off of this unsavory detail about her personal life. Still, Jesus continues to tell her about God, not the interpretation of either Jew or Samaritan. He points the way because now she is willing to hear the truth. Her spiritual eyes are opening.

And Jesus can say, “I am the Messiah,” and it thrills her.

Notice something about this story and influence. Influence happens in a process. And influence doesn’t withdraw when it gets complicated. Jesus hangs in there with this woman because he cares about her soul.

That’s the reason for influence. We want what is best for the other. We want to show others Jesus, but we do it to truly see him.

Let’s disassemble this conversation to find out what we learn about influence from what Jesus does.The Path to Influence

In this we can find three touchstones on the way to influencing others.

Closeness

In this story, Jesus sits down and we discover the first principle.

When Jesus wanted to influence, he drew close.

The fact that a Jewish man engages with a Samaritan woman is stunning. He doesn’t get up to leave. He doesn’t move farther way. He stays in the space.

Physical proximity is vital. Think of the image we began with this series with:

Matthew 5:14–16 ESV

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

The emphasis is “see.” You have to be visible to be light. Hidden lamps do no good. Neither do absent or invisible people.

But Jesus does more than just sit there. He draws her close with his questions.

Give me a drink. It starts to involve the woman. He expects something in return from her. Then, when she questions, he starts hinting about his identity and his power. It is like throwing a rope around a person and pulling it toward you.

Many a bored student knows this. As they daydream, the teacher asked, “Sam, what do you think?” Suddenly, he has to come back to earth and answer the teacher. He is now close again.

There is a reason we have little influence from a distance. People need closeness to feel your influence. 

Who are your closest friends? They are the ones you will influence. Too often, we want to go to the mall, sit on a bench, and hope to emit our influence. Your family, friends, and coworkers feel your influence far more than those who don’t know you at all.

And then, Jesus moves forward.

Connection

One of life’s experiences has been lost to progress. Once, you could watch a train engine engage with the cars. At one time, this happened on the train track that ran through the middle of town.

On an engine and the car are couples, metal hooks that must be interlocked for the train to move the car down the track. While this sounds simple, if you watch it, this connection happens in a specific way.

The engine begins a slow movement in reverse until it comes close to the car. Then, slowly and carefully, it bumps onto the car’s coupler to connect them together. The engine doesn’t sit on the track and hope the freight car moves toward it. Instead, he makes the connection to make transit possible.

This is the example Jesus shows us to about influence.

When Jesus wanted to influence, he made connections.

Think about how Jesus did this. In short, he found something they had in common.

Both were thirsty and needed water. It was a standard physical need.

But then, the woman had a need, and Jesus had the answer. He was the engine. She was the freight car. So Jesus carefully moved to her and hooked her.

If you drink this water, you will be thirsty again. If you only knew who I was, you would ask, and you would get better water, and you won’t be thirsty also.

And she’s hooked. Give me this water. She’s intrigued and questioning.

And even in that uncomfortable moment when Jesus asks her to go get her husband. Jesus’ response reveals, “I know you… you are more than just thirsty physically. You are spiritually dehydrated as well.”

Jesus takes responsibility for connecting with the woman.

That’s hard for us. We want people to just see our example and say, “I think I like that.” Too often believe that someone will stumble into the church, see the wonderful people, and tackle the preacher begging for a Bible study. I suppose it could happen, but it’s not likely. That’s the rail car not able to move toward the engine. It is the engine which couples with the car, not the car with the engine.

If we hope to have any influence, we have to find common ground. I fear that too many times, we stress how we are different than others. Distinctive Christianity is positive as far as a lifestyle but becomes a barrier to influence. We have to enter the lives of others and show them how we are alike.

The Bible scholar Karl Barth instructed young preachers to have a Bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. It was a way of saying, “relate to the people…you are responsible for making the connection.”

When we meet people, we make small talk. Why? We are finding common ground.

“That winter storm was really something. Did you have any damage?” We now are on the same wavelength. We are trying to couple the cars with that question.

What parts of your Christian experience are shared with others? Do you experience frustration? Depression? Flashes of anger? Families are more alike than different. How can we relate to each other that way?

If there is no connection, influence crumbles.

But then there is something else.

Content

Jesus did not just have a pleasant conversation with a lonely lady at a well in Samaria. His influence had content.

He knew about the water, the living water, and what it did. He knew about the worship controversies of the day. He could add information and detail as he went along.

It’s not water. It’s something unending. It’s not a mountain. It is a heart that makes the difference. It’s not teaching. It’s a Messiah.

When Jesus wanted to influence, he gave answers.

If there is a single misconception about influence in the Christian life, it might be here. I have heard people say, “I don’t do evangelism. I let my influence speak.” That’s not wrong, but it is short-sighted.

What do you think they will learn about watching you? Do you think they will draw the right information, the right conclusions about who Jesus is and how he wants you to respond merely by watching you? And, what misunderstandings might they get?

That’s why to close the loop of influence, you have to open your mouth. Your life may draw. It should prompt desire to do better. But words tell the story.

Notice Jesus corrected a misunderstanding. She started with the idea that a messiah would come. Yet, that was not the message Jesus wanted to get across. The Messiah was not a someday idea. He was the Messiah, standing there in front of her, offering living water.

It is only then, does the woman run into town, breaking every social custom, to shout, “I have found him.”

If we really want to influence, we have to make sure we have content to put with example.

Peter reminds us:

1 Peter 3:15 ESV

but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

In that passage, Peter discusses living for Christ in front of a skeptical world. The man who spent time with Jesus knew that a moment would come and you would have to “give an answer” for the hope.

Have an answer to the question because without it, you are nothing but a bell without a clapper.

Conclusion

We stand at an interesting intersection in history.

We’ve been isolated for a year, sometimes through orders but mainly through concern for the physical health of ourselves, our families, and others. But we are coming out of our self-imposed spiritual hibernation. We will rub shoulders with people we haven’t seen for a while and people we will meet for the first time.

The question we must ask ourselves is, “what will I do in that moment?” Now is the time to decide. Explore these three questions to improve your influence.

How can I grow closer to the people I want to influence? It may start with a phone call and then turn into an afternoon walk on a path. It may be coffee at Starbucks. But for influence to happen, we have to narrow the gap and grow close.

What connections can I make with those people? How are we alike? What do you share as human beings? In truth, we are more alike than different. How can we intentionally make the connections with others we want to influence with God’s truth?

What content can I comfortably and authentically deliver? We are Christians because truth invaded our lives and changed us. What made the difference for you? What changed your life? Could you share how your faith has made a difference? It is the natural outgrowth of a spiritual journey.

And..in quiet ways, we can meet our own woman at the well.

That’s what happened to Ashley Joss. Joss was shopping at her local Target store. One of her New Year’s resolutions was to read more books. And one book caught her attention.

She bought the book and took it home. She sat down to read it when her dog barked. She threw the book aside. That’s when it happened. She noticed that a $5 bill peaked out from the pages. Along with the bill was a note, left in the book by another shopper.

The note read: To the person who buys this book, I am having a tough day. I thought maybe I could brighten someone else’s with this little surprise. Go buy a coffee, a donut, or a face mask. Practice some self-care today. Remember that you are loved, you are amazing, you are strong. – Lisa

Joss was so touched she shared the note on Twitter. Others read it, and it changed them.

Her father bought groceries for the person in front of him at the supermarket.

Another who read the note did a daily kind act in honor of her 19-year-old daughter who had died in a car accident a month earlier.

It taught a simple lesson. Don’t let the opportunity pass to change someone’s life. This may be your chance. Will you take it?