Friends with Yourself
Friends: I'll Be There For You • Sermon • Submitted
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· 8 viewsTopic also self-care Goal: Get the church to see the need to love yourself before you can love others.
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We are starting our new sermon series this week
Friends - I remember watching a sit-come by a similar name back in High school and college.
This group of friends did life together! They drank coffee together, ate dinner together, read books, went to sports events, concerts, those whole series was about their lives spend together, as their own community.
Apart from the drama and a few other things, it was a great example of what it means to be the church.
What I found the most interesting is the advice that this group of friends gave to one another.
In one episode you would get this profound advice on life such as “if the person you are dating does not value you for you, then you should not date them!”
Then other times there would be horrible advice such as making a pro’s and con’s list for the two people you are thinking about dating… or keeping information for the one you are dating.
There were times of laughter and times of tears.
Sometimes it was messy, sometimes it was really messy, but they had a love for one another that got them through everything together.
It reminds me that we have some wonderful friends in this life time, and some not so wonderful friends.
There are times when you bring people into your group, and there are times when you intentionally don’t let some into your group.
This series is about that...
How do we, as God’s church, be those Friends, that will be there for Others.
Or put another way:
Who will be there for you
Is that a question or a statement? Yes.
To start this off, there is one person I hope will always be there for you...
YOU!
Let’s look at this for a moment, is it bad to love yourself?
Notice I did not say love of self
Love of self is bad..
Finish this phrase: Pride comes before the fall.
Where is that found in the Bible? I don’t think it is found exactly like that, but these two passages get really close!
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Or the one that is being quoted, yet slightly changed is
Pride goeth before destruction, And an haughty spirit before a fall.
This term, Pride - has a sense of arrogance, a presumption about it that says you are better than others. It is a comparison game, and really becomes about patting yourself on your back, it’s worshipping yourself.
Pride = worshiping yourself.
Pride is the first of the seven deadly sins. One falls into pride when one lacks trust in God and his mercy, and becomes arrogant, hypocritical, and self-centered.
Reinhold Neibuhr, who has been referred to as the twentieth-century theologian of sin, summed up humanity's basic sin -- our unwillingness to acknowledge our creatureliness, our self-elevation, in other words: an unwillingness to acknowledge our PRIDE.
Neibuhr described the four types of pride:
1) The pride of power - its the desire of power to gain security for yourself or to maintain a power position and be secure.
This would be the boss or someone trying to become the boss and never let the position go. When you don’t see things 100% their way they become angry, insecure, and will go on the attack.
2) Intellectual pride - this rises from human knowledge that pretends to have ultimate knowledge. It presumes to be final truth.
This is the now it all who will not accept any truth but the one they provide.
3) Moral pride - the claims is that you have standards for the virtue test and can measure all righteousness. Neibuhr observed that most evil is done by "good" people who do not know that they are not good.
This one happens a lot in the Church - when clearly one person knows what is best for everyone else and will fight as hard as they can to make everyone conform to their ways.
4) Spiritual pride - This is self-glorification. It claims that "self's righteousness" conforms to God's righteousness.
This is the I’m holier than anyone else, God’s gift to the world, never sin, and practically walk on water but would never put this to the test so as to not show off.
C.S. Lewis said the original sin was pride. Pride is what caused Satan to fall, because he thought he could be God.
Pride is what stems all other sins, because we value ourselves more than others.
Pride says its ok to rob the bank, because I am more important.
Pride says its ok to hurt someone else, because i am more important.
Pride says its ok to neglect God, because I am more important.
Pride goes contrary to Jesus’ commands to love God and love others, or my english rendition is prioritize others.
This type of pride is BAD!
“For pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.” C.S. Lewis
This is what kills churches, destroys families, and makes it so friendship, being there for someone, cannot happen!
It pushes people away, it can’t happen.
And sadly, even pushes God away.
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
BUT there is a different type of pride out there:
To have pride in yourself is to love yourself.
This is a good thing
It is good to have yourself as a friend, to always be there for You.
To take pride in what you are doing, and to see yourself as valuable.
Think about the great commission -
The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Can you love your neighbor if you don’t love yourself?
No! Can you be in true friendship if you don’t think you have value to bring to the friendship? No!
Simple question:
Who made you? God did.
Does God make junk? NO
God does not make junk! (Picture of sunset)
This type of pride is seeing what God has done and not just accepting it, but seeing it as beautiful.
God is an artist, he makes beautiful things! and he has made everyone of you.
Listen to this passage of scripture and how it uses the word pride:
He took great pride in the ways of the Lord and again removed the high places and the Asherim from Judah.
The people at the time were worshiping things other than God, but king Jehoshaphat followed God and removed these places of worshipping fake gods. He took pride in the ways of God, he saw them as good, as a gift from the lord.
He saw the good, and lived into that.
This type of pride is a good thing.
Good pride is seeing what God has done.
You can take pride in doing a good job, you can take pride that God has provided for you. It’s not worshiping yourself, it is worshiping the God who made you.
One type of pride is all about you, the other is working hard and giving glory to God.
Two things I know about preaching:
If my sermon is good, or you get anything out of it, I know the Spirit has shown up and at least for that moment, I got out of the way.
This has happened for a few reasons, that really is all to God’s glory:
I have been blessed with wonderful people teaching me about God,
Wonderful schools that have taught me about ministry
Amazing opportunities to learn and grow
And all of this is thanks to God.
If my sermon fails, if it is 100% no good, then I get to take credit for it.
I say this as a humbling statement, God does not need you and me to do His work, He chooses to use you and me.
God chooses to use you in ministry.
Hating yourself is not humility, it's a misunderstanding of not being prideful.
God has called us to be one with Him, and to know love, to be loved and to show love.
Listen to this passage:
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.
13 times loves shows up! Maybe God loves you?!
Maybe the point is He wants you to accept that you are loved and as a result live life through Him and His love?
Why did Jesus come to earth? Because He loved You.
Why did Jesus die on the cross, because He loved you.
Church - If we are going to be used by God, then we have to start being friends with ourselves.
To be used by God = our value comes from God.
Not what others say, not what satan says, but from what God says.
Maybe this is why the church is struggling in the Northwest? We don’t see our value coming from God.
You realize that Washington is the #1 unchurched state in the US?
This is really exciting, there are tones of opportunities to tell people about God!
But if we are not loving ourselves we cannot love others.
Sad reality is
Hurting people hurt people
People who hurt people are hurting people.
This is one ministry the church has been apart of forever! To give a place of healing, to get over the hurt, but sadly too many people have been hurt.
Where were the first hospitals - in the church!
Where were the first counselors found? - in the church!
But when that pride takes over, the church becomes deadly.
Unhealthy people trying to lead others…blind leading the blind.
Or even healthy people trying to help others will get hurt, it doesn’t mean we give up, amen?
I really hate to say this, but a lot of pastors are not healthy!
90% will not retire as a pastor due to depression, anger, hurt, misunderstanding, alcohol abuse, addiction, anxiety...
But church is meant to be a happy place!
Sometimes it isn’t.
It can be a great place of health and love, but it simply go to show that as the church, we all need to be making sure we focus on healing, not hurting, of self healing as well as instruments of healing, not simply pushing our own agendas, full of pride and blind to it.
Here this warning from the Bible:
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
do not associate with one easily angered,
or you may learn their ways
and get yourself ensnared.
Isn’t that scary! Pastors are human too.
I personally take this extremly seriously, the only way to have healthy churches is to have healthy leaders.
Peter Scazio wrote this book entitle “Emotionally Healthy Church” where he says
“as goes the leaders, so goes the church.”
Church - we need to love ourselves, be friends with ourselves enough to say no to this type of crazy where pride and hurt rules!
It isn’t to say we avoid people who are hurting, but we need to be healthy before we can help them!
If my leg is broken I cannot pick someone else up with a broken leg and walk them to the hospital…I have to mend my leg first.
But once it is mended, I go and look to serve where I can.
For this reason I make sure I am:
In prayer, scripture, part of the Leadership Learning Community with Mission Northwest, meet weekly with pastors for support and prayer, and am always looking to learn.
I want to be healthy, so I can help you be healthy, so you can help others be healthy.
This is a call to take care of yourself and see God at work in you!
How?
“ ‘There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a day of sabbath rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a sabbath to the Lord.
God built us to have a time of rest, and a time to replenish our energy, a time to be filled by Him and come to health.
And then, He sets us loose to change the world!
Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
Church - you have been given one another to build community, to support one another, and to have a place where you can love your neighbor, as you love yourself!
To be a place of friendship where people will be there for you, and you for them.
Don’t get confused on what Jesus came to do, yes He came to save your, but so much more!
Jesus did not desire to only save you and give eternal life, Jesus gives you life abundantly here and now!
It’s time we start loving Jesus enough to realize He loved us first!
Video:
Conclusion:
Do you have someone there for you? God is! And he says you are worth it!
You are valuable to God!
You are loved!
You have a value, something worth purchasing, that God was willing to pay, everyone of you. You cost Jesus’ His life, which He willing gave up for you!
You are worthy of God's love because He said so!
What lie do you need to get rid of this week to accept God’s love?
Write it out! If you don’t know how to put it into words that just shows how deep it is.
You are valued and loved by the creator of the universe!
Song:
Church - here is the proof of God’s love…communion