DOING RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE WRONGED
Notes
Transcript
Handout
I’m speaking this morning on a subject about which I have almost no experience: Doing right when you’re wronged. I’ve had many instances where people did wrong things to me, of course, but rarely anything traumatic.
However, some listening to me this very day have suffered traumatic wrongs such as; parental abuse, spousal abuse, spousal infidelity, fraud, theft, violent crime, and trauma while serving our great country.
John Piper in his sermon on today’s text entitled “Do not Avenge Yourselves, but Give Place to Wrath,” tells the story of the martyrdom of Graham Staines and his two sons:
In January, 1999 Graham Staines and his two sons, Phillip (10) and Timothy (6) were mobbed by radical Hindus, trapped inside their vehicle in … India, and burned alive. The three charred bodies were recovered clinging to each other. Graham Staines had spent 34 years serving the people of India in the name of Jesus. He was the director of the Leprosy Mission in Baripada, Orissa.
He left behind his widow Gladys and daughter Esther. … Her response was in every paper in India to the glory of Christ. She said, a few days after the martyrdom of her husband and sons, “I have only one message for the people of India. I’m not bitter. Neither am I angry. But I have one great desire: that each citizen of this country should establish a personal relationship with Jesus Christ who gave his life for their sins … let us burn hatred and spread the flame of Christ’s love.”
Everyone thought she would move back to Australia. No. She said God had called them to India, and she would not leave. She said, “My husband and our children have sacrificed their lives for this nation; India is my home. I hope to be here and continue to serve the needy.” Then, perhaps most remarkable of all—listen to this all you who are teenagers—her daughter Esther was asked how she felt about the murder of her dad, and the thirteen year old, said, “I praise the Lord that He found my father worthy to die for Him.”
Wow! That is a God-thing! There is no other way to explain it. A similar thing happened in 2007 in Turkey, where Islamic militants mutilated and murdered German missionary Tilman Geske, a father of three, and two Turkish believers, one of whom had two young children. Geske’s widow also publicly forgave the murderers and vowed to continue her ministry in Turkey.
This brothers and sisters is the lifestyle we’re called to live. You say I’m not sure I could respond as those in your stories unless God gave me unusual grace.
Before we can respond appropriately we must understand rightly. Once you understand rightly you must practice that understanding in minor wrongs so you’ll be prepared for major wrongs.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
This text is tailored to teach us that
The mercies of God enable us to do right to those who have wronged us by leaving all vengeance with God.
As with the previous section (12:14-16), the thread of selflessness or self-denial runs through our text. Our aim must be the same as Paul’s
as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.
Our desire should be that our enemy would come to know the same mercy and grace that we found at the cross. And so, rather than responding to the evil done against us with evil or with vengeance, we are commanded to respond with the radical love of Christ that overcomes evil with good. The world says, “Don’t get mad; get even!” But our Lord says
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
The wrong response to being wronged is to pay it back with wrong.
Paul says this three times in slightly different ways for emphasis:
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.
Paul is not our not N.T. teacher on this subject
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
John Calvin points out that returning evil for evil may not be as severe as seeking revenge, but it is still forbidden. For example, your husband snaps unkindly at you and you respond by being cold to him or by not speaking to him. You aren’t plotting revenge, but you’re not exactly blessing him. You’re returning evil for evil. Or, if someone makes a cutting remark and you try to counter it, even in jest, you’re returning evil for evil.
Revenge, which goes a step beyond returning evil for evil, is motivated by pride.
Someone’s sinful actions against us wound our pride, so we want to get even to restore our honor. Many cultures around the world are driven by these honor codes. One family or tribe offends another tribe, so the offended party retaliates by inflicting revenge.
4 REASON WHY REVENGE IS WRONG.
Revenge runs contrary to what society deems to be right.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
Our laws prohibit vigilante justice, where one person takes it upon himself to right some perceived wrong. And, while we sometimes chuckle at the absurd extremes that people take to get revenge, at least our culture usually knows that their behavior is wrong. The world generally knows that revenge solves nothing and it is a passion unbecoming the children of God.
Revenge does not promote peace but incites men to hostility.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Vengeance doesn’t lead to peace, but to further vengeance. It keeps the vicious cycle going.
Revenge usurps a task which belongs only to God.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
We are incompetent to carry out personal vengeance, because we cannot know all of the motives and circumstances that were behind a person’s wrongful action towards us. Besides, our emotions get involved and cloud our judgment. Only God, who knows all things, is a competent and righteous Judge.
Only God can pay back because only He knows how much to pay back.
Revenge succumbs to evil rather than overcoming evil with good.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
To take revenge is to respond to sin with more sin. It puts you on the same level as the one who sinned against you.
And so, as difficult as it is (and it is difficult!), it is always wrong to respond to wrong with more wrong. Paying back evil for evil or taking revenge is always motivated by selfishness or pride. It does not honor our merciful God. It will not lead to the conversion of the one who sinned against you. So you have to determine in advance that when you are wronged, you will not retaliate with more wrong.
The right response when you are wronged is to do what is right toward your enemy.
Paul states the right response to wrong several times for emphasis:
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
Romans 12:17b: “give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.”
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Verse 18: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Verse 20: “if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink ….” Verse 21b: “Overcome evil with good.”
Again, I would emphasize that this is not our natural reaction. Our natural reaction is: He hit me; I’ll hit him back even harder! He yelled at me; I’ll yell at him even louder! He cussed me out; I’ll let that no good bum hear a few choice words from me! It requires submission to the indwelling Spirit of God to respond to wrongs by doing what is right.
DOING WHAT IS RIGHT REQUIRES SOME FORETHOUGHT.
Verse 17b should literally be translated, “Take thought in advance for what is visibly good in the sight of all people.” In New Testament Greek there are two words that convey the idea of goodness. One refers to inherent goodness. The other, the word used here, refers to external or visible goodness. It means good “in the sense of right, fair, noble, honorable”
When Paul says that we should take thought for what is right in the sight of all people, he does not mean that we should determine our behavior by public opinion. Public opinion may run contrary to God’s Word. Rather, he means that we should think about our testimony to a watching world. What idea of the Christian faith will the world form when it sees or hears about how we responded to the wrong that was done to us? If we react with rage, we’re not being a good witness. If we stop to think about our witness, we can then respond in a Christlike manner.
Somewhere in his writings the late Chinese sufferer for Christ, Watchman Nee, tells of two Chinese terrace farmers. The farmer whose field was higher up the hill was a Christian. He would get up early and work hard to pump water by hand for his crops. But his shifty neighbor below him would cut a path through his upper neighbor’s dikes and let the water flow down to his lower field. This happened more than once and the Christian farmer was quite irritated with his lazy neighbor.
But rather than going down and yelling at his neighbor, the Christian farmer started pumping water first for his neighbor’s field and then for his own. As I recall the story, the lazy neighbor soon came under conviction, went to the Christian and apologized, and then listened to the Christian’s witness about Christ and came to faith in Christ himself.
You may wonder, what should I do if I’ve already blown it? Maybe you didn’t stop to think about how you should respond and so you exploded in anger at a difficult neighbor or family member. You pretty much ruined your testimony. Now what?
Humble yourself, go to the person you wronged, and ask forgiveness. Don’t try to use your apology to witness to him, because he will think you’re just apologizing so that you can give him the religious pitch. Just ask forgiveness and leave it with him to ask about your faith.
DOING WHAT IS RIGHT MAY OR MAY NOT RESULT IN PEACE, BUT PEACE SHOULD BE YOUR AIM.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Sometimes in spite of all that we do, the other person does not want to make peace. He’s mad at God and you represent God to him. Paul’s point is, don’t provoke a quarrel by your obnoxious behavior and then claim that you’re being persecuted for righteousness’ sake. Bend over backwards to make peace. Let the difficult person know that you want to be on friendly terms. If he rejects it, at least it’s not your fault.
I should add that seeking peace does not include compromising key biblical truth for the sake of peace. Paul would not make peace with the Judaizers, who insisted on circumcision in addition to faith for salvation. He confronted Peter over his hypocrisy in trying to stay on their good side. Sometimes it is sin to make peace. We need wisdom and discernment to know when to stand firm.
DOING WHAT IS RIGHT INCLUDES KIND, LOVING DEEDS TO MEET THE NEEDS OF YOUR ENEMY.
To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Feeding your enemy or giving him a drink represents all kind deeds that you can do to meet your enemy’s needs. Deeds often speak louder than words.
During a time of terrible atrocities in Armenia, a Turkish soldier pursued a young woman and her brother down a street. He cornered them and then mercilessly shot the brother and let the sister go free, but only after she saw her brother’s brutal murder.
Later, the woman was working as a nurse in a military hospital when the Turkish soldier who had shot her brother was brought into her ward. He was critically wounded and if she had left him alone, he would have died. At first, she wrestled with the desire for vengeance. But she realized that the Lord wanted her to treat this man with kindness, so she gently nursed him back to health.
One day the Turk, who recognized her, said, “Why didn’t you let me die?” She replied, “I am a follower of Jesus and He said, ‘Love your enemies.’” The man was silent for a long time, but finally said, “I never knew that anyone could have such a faith. If that’s what it does, tell me more about it. I want it.” (“Our Daily Bread,” 11/81)
So the wrong response to being wronged is to pay it back with wrong. The right response when you are wronged is to do what is right toward your enemy. Finally,
After you have responded to wrong with right, you can leave all vengeance to God.
Paul’s command (12:19) not to take vengeance relates to personal revenge, not to utilizing proper authorities for protection or redress. If someone is breaking the law, it is right to report him to the authorities (as Paul discusses in the very next section). In the local church, the elders sometimes must discipline members who sin against others and refuse to repent. And Paul’s point is that God is the final judge who will repay all that do not repent. So you can leave your case in His hands, knowing that He will be righteous and just in punishing those who have sinned against you.
So your aim should be to bless your persecutors (12:14) and do right towards them (12:17). But if they refuse to repent, you don’t have to seek revenge, because God will right all wrongs at the judgment.
What does Paul mean, though, when he cites Proverbs 25:21-22 about your good deeds heaping burning coals on your enemy’s head?
The Old Testament references to burning coals refer to God’s judgment on His enemies, not to bringing the shame of guilt or repentance on them. For example, in
So the meaning of Romans 12:20 would be that if you do good toward your enemy and he doesn’t repent, you can rest assured that God will one day redress your wrong by bringing severe judgment on your enemy.
Your motive in doing the good deeds is not to increase your enemy’s judgment, but prayerfully to bring him to repentance. But if he doesn’t repent, you can know that God will ultimately bring him to justice.
We should seek the justice of Christ paying for their sins not themselves. Let us bear witness of Christ by doing good towards our enemies and leaving all vengeance with God.
Do you want to get even with someone this morning? Then go the way of your Master get even by forgiving. This is the noblest revenge. Our vengeance - no mater how right it may be - always goes wrong. Only God has the wisdom and patience needed to punish evil doers properly and bring them to justice. Christian, you can endure life’s wrongs because you know God will make it right.
So the hard question that this Scripture leaves us with is, have I paid back evil with evil to anyone? Is this my pattern with my spouse, kids, extended family, people at work or in my neighborhood? Do you retailiate? Do you seek revenge? Or; Do you seek redemption? May we all repent of our retailiator and revengeful hearts. May we ask our Father to make us more like His Son, redemptive. Once we have taken this first step let us then figure out a way to ask forgiveness of those you have wronged. Even if they don’t repent, think about ways that you can bless them with kindness. That’s how to do right when you’ve been wronged.
Christ the Lord our debt has paid All our sins on Him were laid We like Him should try to live Always ready to forgive.
Some listening to this sermon need to first experience redemption. You currently live under the wrath of God. You will not get away with your crimes against God. He will repay. However, there is Good News. He sent His Son to pay for what you justly deserve so that He can give you don’t deserve and could never earn, salvation. Complile all wrongs ever done in this world toward one another and they can never compare to the wrong which we have done to the Creator. And yet when we deserved His rightful revenge He gave us redemption.