Upside Down Kingdom: Forgiveness

Introduction

Good Morning…Bitter sweet day yesterday with Harvestime South packing up

You know if you spend any time in a leadership role anywhere and you will quickly find the need for “conflict resolution” skills. That is just the reality of bringing any group of people together to accomplish a task, no matter how noble that task or how dedicated the people are to that task. When gathering people together we are bringing together their passion for a shared goal along with their past experiences, personalities and their perspectives on how that goal is best accomplished. This will inevitably bring conflict.

What may begin as simply a tension between differing ideas or perspectives can quickly grow into decisions or actions that go beyond simple disagreements and into moral missteps where we find ourselves sinning against someone or they against us.

Now we all get our feelings hurt from time to time, when people insult us, offend us, slight us, or fail to appreciate us in ways we were expecting them to. And while Proverbs does teach us that “it is to our glory to over look an offense” (Prov 19:11) what happens when we can’t?

What happens when the offense begins to drive a wedge between us. When the offense changes the relationship from being mutually focused on the same noble cause to hardening our hearts toward whatever that person might say or do. How will our gathering together accomplish the noble cause then? It won’t, so we need some way in which to handle these kinds of conflicts.

Jesus clearly knew this about us, so in his training of His 12 Disciples He gave them the steps for “conflict resolution” in the Kingdom of God. Because Jesus knew that after He suffered, died, rose again and ascended to the Father it was these guys who would gather people together in the noblest of causes: His Church.

The Greek word for “Church” is ekklesia and it means a gathering, so Jesus knew that even here we would find conflict that might lead to sinning against one another. So He gave them 4 steps to follow in His Church when someone sinned against them.

We find these instructions in Matthew Chapter 18, starting in verse 15. You can turn there in your own Bible if you would like, or it is on page 823 in the Bibles in the chairs.

STEP ONE: PRIVATE CONFRONTATION

Matthew 18:15 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

Don’t talk to a bunch of other people about, but go directly to that brother or sister and express your offense to them. Why is this so important? Well…they may be able to give you additional information that you didn’t have, and you may find out that is was just a misunderstanding and not a sinful act. And now, because you didn’t spread a lie about them but went directly to them to find the truth, the relationship can be reconciled…that is a win.

Or, As you are talking with them, the Holy Spirit may work in their hearts and minds in such a way that they are convicted of the fact that they did indeed sin against you. So they repent before God, apologize to you, you forgive them and then the relationship can be reconciled…that is also a win.

Or…what we all fear might happen…they may become defensive and accusatory and not listen to you at all. That too may happen, so Jesus continues to address that...

STEP TWO: SMALL GROUP INTERVENTION

Matthew 18:16 ESV

16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

Just to make sure that this is not some unmerited grudge, or perspective issue, the next step is to bring along a couple of other brothers or sisters in Christ who share your love and concern for this person and have witnessed their sin against you. This is not about building a coalition for your side of the conflict, but it is about asking a couple of fellow Christians to walk with you into this, in care and concern for the one who has sinned against you. Hopefully this will bring reconciliation and that would still be a win…but if not there is another step that Jesus instructs for us...

STEP THREE: INVOLVE THE CHURCH

“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church.” - Matthew 18:17a

This doesn’t mean going person to person through the lobby gossipping about it, it means approaching the leadership of the Church in how to involve even more people to prayerfully consider how they can intervene in order to help this person see how their sinning is separating them from God and the Church body. The goal is always to be reconciled to God and to His Church. If that would happen at this point…then we have a win. A win that all the more people can celebrate how God has once again worked through forgiveness and reconciliation to the one of us who needed it today. Because it may be us tomorrow!

But if that also doesn’t bring repentance and reconciliation, then there is one last step...

STEP FOUR: NO LONGER AFFIRM THEM AS A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST

And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Matthew 18:17b

This is not a declaration that they are definitely not a follower of Christ, it just means that from what we have seen, we cannot affirm it. We cannot know the heart of another person, so we are never the ones who determine if someone is going to heaven or hell, but since they are showing no interest in repentance of sin or reconciliation with God or His Church then the only response we have is to consider them as someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and so we share the Gospel with them in hopes that they will repent and be reconciled.

And this is the process for reconciliation that Jesus outlined for the Disciples in their training to lead the Jesus’ Church. This is the process that we use here, and every Christian Church is instructed to teach their people to use when a brother (or sister) in Christ has sinned against us. When you come to an Overseer here because someone has sinned against you, we will ask you where you are in this process.

In my 4 plus years here we have seen this process end in beautiful reconciliation, and we have seen this process end sadly in people getting angry and leaving the Church and not returning. Either way we are committed to following what Jesus has instructed here for His Church.

And these instructions are one of only two places where the Bible records Jesus directly using the word “Church”. That seems significant for us, doesn’t it? You might remember back when we studied the other place, it was when Peter made the good confession that “Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God” and Jesus said that He will “build His Church” on the solid rock of Peter’s bold confession that day. Do you remember that?

Tension

Well that same Peter is standing here, listening to Jesus talk about pursuing reconciliation and forgiving others and Peter’s mind is asking something that many of us may be wondering too. So…uh…When someone sins against me, how many times do I have to forgive them?

I mean, sure we all want reconciliation but isn’t there a limit on how many times we forgive someone? Maybe the ole’ baseball standard. Three strikes and your out, kind of thing. That seems generous, and while they didn’t have baseball yet that was the “industry standard” as far as the teachers of the law in Peter’s day.

But this is Jesus. And Peter knows how Jesus is always surprising them with doing things Upside Down from what they expected. Whenever He talked about His Kingdom everything was different, the first will be last and the greatest will be the servant of all, it was never as they expected so…Peter digs deep and doubles down from the Pharisees and steps up again to ask Jesus,

“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Surely Jesus would again call Peter blessed for this generous position on forgiveness.

Well that in not exactly what happened, instead Peter found himself again scratching his head as Jesus unpacked yet another parable about His Kingdom that seems to throw everything they thought they knew about forgiveness Upside Down.

Since this is what happens next, stay here in Matthew 18 with me and we will take a look at another one of Jesus’ Parables about the Upside Down Kingdom, but first I am going to pray for us.

Let’s pray.

Truth

Our first theme for the week is...

1. True forgiveness has no limits (Matthew 18:21-22)

Matthew 18:21–22 ESV

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

So those of us who are good in Math are thinking…ok... so not 7 but 70 x 7 so....490 times. Wow, that is a lot to keep track of…I’ll have to get a notebook for this but I am pretty sure I have one or two on my list who are getting close...

That of course is not Jesus’ point. His point was not to raise the limit, but to have us see it as an incalculable amount. The big idea was that forgiveness was not to be offered on the basis of their previous record, but as we shall soon see it is based on our previous record.

Peter thought he was being generous, 7 times when most people would say only 3, but Jesus is showing him how in the seemingly Upside Down Kingdom of God we don’t keep records of wrong like this. Later on the Apostle Paul will list this idea among the evidences of the presence of God’s love in someone’s life. You have probably heard the Love passage from 1 Cor 13...

1 Corinthians 13:4–5 NIV

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Jesus is teaching His Disciples about how to settle conflict among the brethren, how to bring reconciliation through acknowledgement and forgiveness of sin and Peter is like…great, but just how far does this forgiveness have to go? How many times, I know it must be further than I first thought but just how far Jesus? And Jesus’ answer is basically if you are keeping track then you have already missed the point.

APPLICATION

But isn’t that how many of us relate to the commands of Scripture? Ok, Jesus you say that this is right or this is wrong and I accept that but just how far can I go without missing the mark on that one? How close can I get to the edge without falling off? How fast can I drive this thing before I get a ticket? Just let me know my limits so that I can push things right up to the edge…except that is not how the Kingdom of God works? When we ask questions like this is shows how we already have things all Upside Down.

When we ask God, “How far do I have to go in this or that command”

The answer alway is, “Go as far as it takes to become more like me.”

“Really? That far huh?

“Yes, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” - 1 Peter 1:16

So what does “forgiveness” look like when that is the goal? More than 7x....more than 490x…True forgivness has no limits. And we know this because that is how God forgives. Our second theme for the week is:

2. God’s forgiveness is unlimited and undeserved (Matthew 18:23-27)

Jesus then goes into a Parable to teach Peter and anyone else listening that day what forgiveness looks like in His Kingdom.

Matthew 18:23–27 ESV

23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

So Jesus compares the Kingdom of heaven to the Kingdom in this story, but as it is a parable we know that the meaning will overflows the banks of the story itself. So we have to identify who it is that Jesus is truly talking about here and how does it relate to what He is saying here about forgiveness.

So in this story we have a King and in any Kingdom the King represents the ultimate authority. It is the King’s Kingdom, so He can do as He wishes in His own Kingdom.

Secondly we have the Kings servants. This is an important distinction. The story is not about how a King treated a noblemen in the Kingdom. It is not about how this King treated a King from another Kingdom. This story is about how the King handled the debts of his own servants. The ones who belong to his Kingdom and whose allegiance is owed to this King.

So apparently, something like May 15th was just around the corner and the King was looking at his financial records to see which of his servants owed him what…and he finds a servant who owes him 10,000 talents.

How did he come to owe the King so much? I have no idea.

How much is 10,000 talents…that I can help us with.

What we typically do to get some idea of how these value amounts compare to today is to base it on a day’s wage in that day and the same today. So a Talent was equivalent to 6,000 drachmas which was about 20 years wages for a laborer. So...

waking up our math wizards again... using $15/hour and a full time job of 2,000 hours a year you would have earned $30,000 a year. Multiply that by the 20 years and you get $600,000. That is a lot of money…but we are not done. Because that is just the dollar amount of one talent and this servant owed his master the King 10,000 talents. That means he owed the King 6 Billion dollars in our day.

Again, how did he amass such a debt, we are not told, but notice that he doesn’t argue the amount only pleads for mercy…as if a servant could ever pay a 6 billion dollar debt no matter how long or hard he worked!

And of course that is the whole idea, the debt was incalculable and there was no way he could ever repay the King. The King had the right to do exactly what he first said he would do and the best this man could ever hope for is that the King show him mercy by delaying the sentence till next “tax day”.

But instead, the King did the unfathomable! He forgave the entire debt. This twist in the story is meant to shock us. It is meant to jar us into remembering that this is a parable. A story where the meaning overflows the banks of the story itself. An earthly story with a heavenly meaning. Because no earthly King would ever forgive such a debt, but God’s forgiveness is unlimited and undeserved.

Through this parable Jesus was showing Peter, and by extension each one of us, that in the Kingdom of God forgiving others is not based on the record of their behavior, but on the record of ours. Our first parents Adam and Eve rebelled against our God and we have each inherited their sin nature, and the snowball of debt that goes with it. So we can’t just blame them, because we are sinners by both nature and by our choice. So we also owe an “incalculable” debt to our King, one that we could never pay even if we lived for hundreds of years our debt would only snowball further and further away from our meager attempt at earning. Our only hope, like the servant, is to throw ourselves on the mercy of the King of Kings. I like how the New Living Translation renders Col 2:13-14 where it says:

Colossians 2:13–14 NLT

13 You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. 14 He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.

Nobody knows who first said it, but it bears repeating that, “Jesus paid a debt that he did not owe, because we owed a debt that we could not pay.”

I wonder what would happen if you came home tomorrow to a letter from your bank saying that someone had paid all your debt? Your mortgage, you car payment, your credit cards, your college tuition, your kids college tuition. All paid in full. How would you feel about that person who gave you such an act of kindness. Wouldn’t you want to thank them? Wouldn’t you want to praise them and appreciate them for their great payment? Even ask what you might do in return?

And haven’t we been forgiven so much more in Christ? A debt greater even than the 6 billion dollars has been paid for us. And what is the proper response to that?

Lets see how the servant in Jesus’ parable responds to the forgiveness of his enormous debt?

Matthew 18:28–35 ESV

28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

This seems like a fitting end to the story, doesn’t it. The wicked servant got exactly what he deserved. How could he be such a hypocrite. How could he receive the forgiveness of such a huge debt, only to turn around and not forgive someone who owed him much less. To be fair, it wasn’t like the guy owed him $20. A denari was a day’s wages remember, so using our scale it was about $12,000 that he owed him…but compared to 6 billion! How could this servant of the King not act toward another servant of the King in accordance to what the King had done for him? Serves him right to be punished, doesn’t it…except...you knew the “UPside Down” was coming!

Except for the fact that we just get done saying that True forgiveness has no limits and that God’s forgiveness is unlimited and undeserved but now the story seem to be saying that the King’s forgiveness is limited to those who willingly forgive others. It certainly seems like the right thing for the King to do, but what does that mean for us? Is God’s willingness to forgive our sin limited by our willingness to forgive others? That doesn’t seem unlimited, does it?

Gospel Application

Our final theme for the week is...

Withholding forgiveness is evidence that we don’t know God’s forgiveness. (Matthew 18:28-35).

The key to understanding this last part of the story is found in the very last word that Jesus said. “Heart”. When we can so callously live in unforgiveness like this wicked servant, it is evidence that we are not operating in the forgiveness that God offers us. It is evidence that our heart has not been changed by the good news of Jesus Christ. We are still being driven by our sinful heart and we do not have the heart of Christ. We have have not been made a new creation in Christ.

So does this mean if we have ever struggled with forgiving someone who has wronged us then we are not a Christian? Of course not. As long as we continue to live on this earth we will do everything that God has commanded us to do imperfectly. God knows this and this is why He sent Jesus, to cover our imperfections and sin. We are all still somewhere in the process of becoming more like Jesus, none of us have reached perfection. And it could be that growing into God’s forgiveness for someone in your life is one area that you are growing slower in than others. But there is a difference between struggling to forgive as perfectly as God has forgiven us and having a heart that says, “I will take God’s forgiveness, but not His command to forgive others”.

That is not a heart that knows God, because our God’s forgiveness is unlimited and undeserved and to know Him is to have a heart that values reconciliation through forgiveness. When we look at how far God has gone to forgive us, to give his only begotten Son, how can we as HIS SERVANTS think we should be able to place limits on who we are forgiving.

Landing

In closing, I do want to throw out a clarifying thought. Some of us have been horribly hurt by someone in ways that we are not even able to talk about out loud. So when the pastor gets up front and challenges the Church family towards the extravagance of God’s forgiveness we may think that this means that our pain is being diminished. Please don’t hear that in my words this morning.

God’s forgiveness of our sin is not His acceptance of our sin as anything but the dark and evil thing that it is. And whatever it was that happened to you, it does not make it less dark and evil because you forgave it. It just makes your courage, faith and trust in our complex God of mercy and justice all the more beautiful.

To heal and restore our relationship with Him, God extended His incredible forgiveness to us, and from that forgiveness we have been given hearts that desire to forgive others, even if we do it imperfectly.

Will you pray into that with me this morning.