Big Happy Family

March 28th, 6pm Prayer and Worship night - For Brad and Diane, for our church, for our community.

Live Long and Prosper

I don’t know if any of you are fan of Star Trek, I have watched a little here and there but I am not an avid fan by any means. But if you know anything from Star Trek you have probably seen this hand gesture. The vulcan gesture that stands for “live long and prosper”.

What you may not know is that this actually comes from Jewish preistly blessings. The priests would put their hands in this position which symbolized the Hebrew letter shin. It was used as the people put their heads down and the preists would bless the people before God in His glory.

Although in Exodus we don’t get this exact phrasing. In Deuterony 5:16, where the 10 Commandments are repeated it says they they are Honor their father and mother, “so that you may live long and so that you may prosper in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

This phrase expresses a desire for people to live in the presence of God. As we have discussed throughout the commandments, they are repeatedly going back to the Garden, reminding them of the joy that He desires for them. He wants His people to flourish. The way we are to flourish is in obedience to God’s commands. These commands are revealing to us God’s character and in our obedience to them we will flourish and we will reflect Him to the unbelieving world.

But why in this command, in honoring our father and mother, do we get this specific phrase? What about obedience to parents brings us to furthering our relationship to God?

As we have continued to see. The point of the commands is that we should be faithful to God because He has been faithful to us. In this command it takes it a step further. That children should be faithful to their parents because God has and will be faithful to them. But as the parents their role is to lead their children into faithfulness.

This command is not silent on the parents role. In fact, think about what we just got finished discussing. God has made clear in the last two commands. He has been pointing out how we are to be his rperesentatives. But this command calls parents to be represantatives to their children. But this command to children is not just about children obeying their parents. In fact, this passage doesn’t have a word indicating obedience, the word used here is about honoring, in fact it can even mean “to give glory to” in reference to God. So the command to children is about how they represent their parents in honoring them rather than just obedience.

One of the main commands here to children is actually about children taking care of their parents when they are too old to take care of themselves. When parents are unable to physically care for themselves, this passage calls the children to provide for them. It is a way of honoring their parents who raised and cared for them in their youth. And just as they prolong and care for their parents life they will receive in their inheritance of the promised land. Just as God cares for us as He supplies all of our needs, that we will not be able to prosper outside of God’s provision. Children are to take care of their parents who have become dependent on them. God is promising to protect His people if they are faithfulful to His covenant. Now, as we will talk about, this prosperity is not financial or even physical. But it is spiritual prosperity, that God will bless us in bringing us what He has promised.

The idea is that those who gave us life should be honored, this should be treated with dignity. As the first command in the “love others” commands. We see that loving your parents is loving your neighbor. It is loving others without condition.

Parents Reflect God to their children

Deuteronomy 6:1–9 LEB

“Now this is the commandment, the rules and the regulations, that Yahweh your God charged to teach to you for you to observe in the land that you are about to cross over into to take possession of it, so that you may revere Yahweh your God by keeping all his statutes and his commandments that I am commanding you, you and your children and grandchildren, all the days of your life and so you may live long lives. And you shall hear, Israel, and be careful to observe these instructions, so that it may go well for you and that you may multiply greatly, just as Yahweh, the God of your ancestors, promised you, in a land with milk and honey. “Hear, Israel, Yahweh our God, Yahweh is unique. And you shall love Yahweh your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your might. And these words that I am commanding you today shall be on your heart. And you shall recite them to your children, and you shall talk about them at the time of your living in your house and at the time of your going on the road and at the time of your lying down and at the time of your rising up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as an emblem between your eyes. And you shall write them on the doorframe of your house and on your gates.

The result of obedience is entrance into the promised land.

-The idea of a “land flowing with milk and honey” is picturing this idea place where the people are enjoying all the incredible things in life. In enjoying the fruits of God’s creation they are able to fully enjoy God’s promises.

-Then in reminding them of His promises He then gives them a statement about Himself. That the Lord is One, that there is no one but Him, He alone is God. This references the first and second commands. He doesn’t just tell them to obey His commands, but He calls them to relationship, to love Him as He has loved us. It was not legalistic, it was from their deep affections for God, it is even a term for a familial love. And this love was not just to be in the mind, but also in our hearts, and also in our soul, and even with every ounce of strength we can muster to be faithful. They have entered into a covenant with their God and so they are to keep it it even when they do not want to. It is pointing us even to Christ as we are justified in our faith and not by our perfect obedience. Because the greatest command is to love our God and not to obey Him.

2. Think about how you love your spouse and how you desire to be faithful to her. There are many things that may not enjoy doing in marriage, many things that we would rather not do or don’t see meaning in doing. But because our spouse wants us to do them and we love them with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength we try and do them anyways. My wife hates when I leave my shoes at the front door. She wants me to put them in the closet when I walk in. I am trying to get better at it, but if I am being honest it takes all my heart and all my strength to put them in the closet because it is much easier to leave them out. But this isn’t legalism, this is desiring to love my wife well. If my wife asks me to clean the dishes, I am going to do it to the level that will make her happy she asked me to do it, not one that is going to leave her more frustrated. It is out of devotion to my wife, out of my gratitude for how she cares and loves me, that I do it. not out of necessity.

So what does this have to do with parenting?

Children will follow the ways of their parents, whether your like it or not. This includes their spiritual walk. The way your children act reflects your attitude towards them.

If you are a parent, have you ever noticed a habit that your kid has picked up from you? That they immediately latch onto and you didn’t intend for them to copy? I have 3 younger siblings and I you initially are very careful about what you let them wathc, but it becomes very easy when they are around all the time to not let things slide. When I was in high school I would play Call of Duty, I am long passed that stage in my life, but when I was in high school I really enjoyed it. My brother, who is 10 years younger than me, would always try and come and watch. At first I would prevent him from doing it, but then it got easier and easier to let things slide.

As we read on notice one of the ways they are to show that they love their God. It is by repeating the commands to their children.

-They don’t want God’s Word to be forgotten by their children, they desire for their kids to be faithful.

-God gives them a multitude of ways to remind their kids and themselves on how to be faithful to God. Many of these ways became rituals in Jewish households, they followed this to the letter of the law. But remember, we are called to the nature of the law.

-The point being made here is that God’s Word is so engrained into the culture of your family that they are not able to forget it. Many of these aren’t bad ways to do it, to have verses throughout your house, to talk about God with your kids at the dinner table, reading the Bible to your kids. There are many more ways that we can bring our children towards faithfulness. The point of all these different methods of teaching is for God to be “in one’s constant, conscious reflection.” Something that is passed on from generation to generation.

-God mentions sitting down, walking, going to be, and waking up. In other words, it was to be central in your day to day life. No part of your life should you not be discussing God’s truth with your family.

-It was a reminder each day of God’s grace on His people. How He had saved them from Egypt, how He brought them through the wilderness that they were to act in obedience.

-It was so that all the other influences of the culture would not overcome their reminders that the Lord their God was One and to not profane His name by having other God’s.

So I think there are three important points to take out of this for parents.

Family habits are formative

As a family what are your daily routines that bring your children closer to God?

Do you read the Bible with your kids?

Do you memorize Scripture with them?

Are you practicing spiritual rest each week so that your children know how to rest in Christ?

Do you tell them how God has shown His faithfulness in your life?

Is God’s Word a common topic of conversation or just on Sunday?

Are you teaching your kids important habits for use of technology.

A study was done a few years ago on what lead to spiritually healthy young adults who grew up in church. Far and away the most important predictor in spiritual growth is that they regularly read the Bible growing up. Not just in church, but regularly.

Then after that there are 3 other very important indicators of spiritual growth.

They regularly spent time praying

They regularly served

They primarily listened to Christian music.

Daily reminders are for our faithfulness towards God, not for publicly stating our faith.

I see a lot of people who wear Christian shirts or who have the Jesus fish as bumper stickers, or many other Christian oriented gear and accessories. None of these are bad, although as we talked about last week we have to be careful not to bear God’s name in vain.

But the point of these reminders is for us to have God’s Word in our own heart, it is so that we know how we are to be obedient.

The only way to overcome the world is to overwhelm it with obedience and God’s Word.

As a youth pastor I often have parents who are worried about the way that society is going and about our kids and the examples that they are going to have. I hear people say things like “kids don’t have respect these days”. These are all fair worries to have. But what we see here is that the prerequisite for honoring parents is honoring God. If you think kids these days don’t show respect then first look how you have trained your kids and your grandkids before you look at the culture.

How do we get our children to honor God?

First, we have to remember that God is greater than the gods of this world. We have to truly believe that. If you remember in Exodus 1 when Moses’ mother puts him in a basket in the Nile. She was stating that her God was greater than the gods of Egypt, specifically the Nile itself which they viewed as a God. She believed that even in the face of an evil culture her God could overcome that evil. We need to believe the same thing with our students.

Second, we must be proactive in discipling our children, in helping our children understanding God’s Word, in helping them understand the Gospel and to give them those reminders. Because if you don’t disciple your children, the world will disciple your children. They will disciple them into idolatry. We can’t blame the culture for our children not believing in God, we must fully put the blame on ourselves.

Give them room to be choose their own path.

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it.

What is inherent in this is that they need to learn it for themselves so that they know how to make the right decision. So that they decide godliness rather than being forced to godliness.

Matthew Henry said, “your children are pieces of yourselves, and therefore ought to be governed with great tenderness and love.”

Paul talks about the importance of a father not becomeing too angry with his children.

What you have to teach them to do is learn how to make the right decision. Because if all you do is tell them what they must do they will never learn how to make that decision on their own and they will learn to resent what you told them because they will never understand why they had to do things that way.

This is why it is not important that you prevent your child from ever hearing a cuss word, or to keep them away fromm friends houses so taht they never come acrosss something they should.s But rather you teach them how to respond when they are dealt with difficulty decisions. Because one day they will be out of your house and you won’t be able to. But you can either equip them or just hope that by God’s mercy he protects them.

Think about how you teach a kid to drive. You can’t teach you child when they are in the passenger seat, they need to do it by themself. If all you did was tell them how they should drive but never teach them, they won’t be successful in being a driver.

Now also notice they might pick up some of your bad driving habits as well.

Now those without kids. You may think this doesn’t apply to you. Or your kids are all grown up. But we have to remember that this was a communal culture. This was not just a command for parents, this was a command to the community.

-So what are you doing to help the students and children of this church grow closer to God? Are you investing in their lives?

-If you have grandkids, are you actively having conversations about the Bible with them?

Children who honor their parents will flourish in godliness

There is a song from the late 80s from Will Smith. Who is now know more as an actor than a musical artist. But this song was 1st on the billboards in 1988 and it was called “Parent’s just don’t understand”. The first line went “You know parents are the same no matter time nor place. They don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes. So to you other kids all across the land, There's no need to argue, parents just don't understand.”

I imagine this is how every kid feels to some extends. That paren’ts are inflexible and if they just understood their point of view that the parents would agree with their decisions. It comes from a place where life seems simple. Where you move from one fun thing to the next and there are very few responsibilities to deal with.

But notice who is blessed by honoring their parents. The children. It is for the benefit of the child that they honor their parents.

If we look to Proverbs 3 we see how the commands God gives to parents in Deuteronomy should be used by the child.

There are several important points here.

You honor your parents because God calls you to.

If you trust the Lord, if you believe in God, then you will honor your parents. If there was no other reason than this it would be enough.

This means that whether your agree with your parents or not you are called to honor them.

Now there are some parents who will take that honor and they will manipulate it for their own benefit, parents who will distort your idea of what a parent is, who will sin against you.

But no parent is going to be perfect, every parent will mess up.

Honor is not about a person’s ability to meet up to the standard we believe should be there. It is rather respect because God has called us to respect them.

You may not think about this, but when parents become parents they really have no idea what they are doing. Because they haven’t done it before! Just like it is your first time being a kid, it is their first time being a parent.

But they will do anything for you. The evidence states that a parent will spend almost $250,000 on their child from birth to 17 years old. That is a large investment!

You honor your parents because you should not consider yourself wiser than you are.

Notice what is inherent in obedience, it is listening to them. Hearing what they have told you so that you are faithful to do it. Not just brushing it off because you know what is best.

There will be many things that you will not have a firm grasp on. If you believe that you don’t need to look to someone else for answers than you are a fool

Socrates once said, “Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people from their experiences, stupid people already have all the answers.”

You obey your parents because they will lead you towards godliness and towards the great blessings God desires for you.

As a kid it is sometimes hard to understand that your parents have gone through the same things that you are going through. That they have made many of the mistakes that you will make. But we often don’t listen. We like to make it more difficult for ourselves.

Often when we are kids and when we imagine what it will be like to be an adult is that we can do whatever we want, go wherever we want to go, spend whatever we want to spend. But before you are an adult, and even after you are an adult, you don’t understand all of the responsibilities that you have. But if you are prepared for these challenges than this will lead to a life of joy.

But we are prone to disobedience. The second someone tells us not to do something we want to do it. When you tell your child not to touch the stove, they will immediately proceed to try and touch the stove. But oftentimes they need to touch it and see the consequences in order to realize they shouldn’t do it again. But even then we can make the same mistakes.

There may be something that you disagree with your parents on, but if you don’t listen to them it will hurt you. But guess what, that means that you have to listen to them when you think that they are wrong.

Honoring your parents is not just about obeying them but glorifying God with what He gives you. As you go from middle school, to high school, to college, and than onto a careers, you honor the Lord with your possessions. This goes back to the 2nd command.

Students, have you ever thought that how you act will reflect onto your parents? That what you say or do will make people think either good or bad about how they raised you?

Do you seek to show them that you are thankful that they have invested in your life. In what way do you desire to give back to them? This doesn’t mean money, this doesn’t even mean that they live with you. But it means that you desire for them to see the fruits of their labor in your life. Because you know what will honor your parents? When they see you succeeding at whatever job you have, when they see you are able to make decisions for yourself, they see your family and maybe your child, they see you serving in your church and being invested as a Christian. These are the things that honor your parents. What honors them is the way you live.

Know that it won’t always be easy. But that is why we are first called to love the Lord our God.

Matthew 15

Here Jesus gives a picture of what it means to live by the nature of God’s law rather than the letter of it. Many people, as a way of trying to honor God would donate their money to the temple whenever they died. IT was one way that they sought to show themselves as righteous. But in doing so many would use this as an excuse not to give funds and resources to their parents, they were not compassionate towards others because they wanted to show themselves devoted to God.

In our culture it is easy for our own self-righteousness, for our own idea of what is right and wrong to muddy what obedience to God looks like. But notice here that cultural customs were getting in the way of honoring their parents. Often the view some children have of their parents leads them to stop talking to their parents, it leads them to think that their parents are irreedemable or unable to change, or to think that their parents are just so confused that they can’t see what is true in the world.

In the same way parents can feel like their children owe them something, that they aren’t getting the respect that they deserve, and that they aren’t fearing God.

But God’s Word calls us to obedience rather than to teach “human commands”. In fact, our hearts are far from God when we push people away and when we decide someone is undesserving. But the Gospel is in our faithfulness to God, not to our faithfulness to our parents or to our children. And in being faithful to our family, we are loving the Lord our God but also loving our neighbor.

So parents, what does your relationship to your child look like? Are you training them? Are you drawing them towards human commands and to what is easiest for your?

Children, are you honoring your parents in the way that you live? Are you striving for obedience even when you disagree? Even when you think they are wrong?