Sleepless Nights
Notes
Transcript
Sleepless Nights
Sleepless Nights
This one time… I stayed up way past midnight! (That’s the whole story)
As a kid, that was a magical event. That meant you were having the world’s most fun.
For awhile my sister started secretly watching tv at night after my parents had fallen asleep. Then she started getting me up too. And at 12:30 am they played reruns of the original Star Trek.
She got in so much trouble. I did not ;)
Even more commonly, I would take a flashlight to bed and be reading, and if the book was good enough, I would just keep reading until I finished the book.
(I always got in trouble with these kinds of stories afterwards. Both retroactively from my parents… and from my kids ‘cause I don’t let them do it!)
Occasionally in college, solving hunger and creating world peace. Late nights like this on the beach.
Now, with the occasional New Years Eve exception, when I am up “way past midnight”… it’s not a good thing.
Now restless nights look more like this.
It’s because I am cataloguing my failures.
Or anxious about what’s about to go down the next day.
Or worried about my kids.
Trying to pray for all those things, trying to bring it back to God… but still worried about the thing.
A little ticked that KK is still sleeping. Doesn’t she know how upset I am right now???!
Of course, the truth is that for everytime that happens to me, it happens a hundred-fold for her. Usually I am the oblivious sleeper.
In the last week, who has been up at night worrying about something? Wondering about something?
Who hasn’t? This year??? What is your life?
Approaching Resurrection
Approaching Resurrection
We are approaching resurrection Sunday, aka Easter. 15 days from day. Crazy!
Last week, I hope you had the time to read through Matthew 26-28. It is the story of Jesus’ last week, his crucifixion on a cross, and his resurrection from the dead.
More than any other… more than Christmas by far, this is our story.
This defines who we are, as followers of Jesus, as “Christians.” As Created by God.
Everything we are and everything we do is in light of Jesus life, death and resurrection.
What does Jesus do in his last week on earth? He spends time with the people he loves.
He spends time loving on the disciples. That last supper, beautiful time with his best friends. Cramming in some of that final “best-of” kind of teaching. Washing feet, commanding them to love one another as He loved.
He went to a Place called Gethsemane.
Jesus’ prayer:
And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.”
And he brought his inner posse
And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled.
Greatly distressed. And troubled.
How sorrowful and troubled? Even to death.
These are words of anxiety, apprehension, grief, even torment.
What do you do when you’re that upset? If you’re lucky, if you’re blessed with friends you can trust with that, you share it.
Jesus is. Jesus does.
And he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.”
This is such a beautiful moment. All the times Jesus was there for others. Here he asks his best friends to stand with him.
I’ve heard it said that among all Jesus’ miracles, one of his greatest is that he has 12 male friends in his 30s. And here are his closest three!
Who do you trust enough to say “my soul is sorrowful, unto death?” Who would you call to go with you to the park and stay up all night with you?
“Remain here and watch.”
And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
Incredible, beautiful prayer.
We learn so much here.
We learn that Jesus isn’t looking forward to this. In fact, he is looking for a way out, in this moment. The Savior of the World, the Son of God, Begotten from eternity… who was incarnated for this very reason, towards this very destiny, he gets to the end and says “… uh, wait a second.”
“Not that it comes to it, to the moment, is there another way?”
We see his full humanity. Is there a more human thing to do?
(Story to avoid suffering)
He is in anguish. Luke (the Doctor) tells us he was so emotional, so stressed, feeling all the things so intensely that he literally sweat blood.
Hematohidrosis - it’s a real thing.
He brings the real, all the stress, the anguish, the request before God...
Jesus asks… but he also demonstrates what courage looks like, obedience in the face of apprehension.
“Not what I will… but what you will.” That is the absolute definition of what it means to call Jesus “Lord.” He models it for us in submission to His heavenly Father.
“Not what I will… but what you will.”
And this isn’t a one-time prayer, that isn’t the picture we get at all. Jesus didn’t say that once and stop feeling the things that he was feeling. He prayed this over and over again. He affirmed his commitment… but he still felt the things.
The feelings, the apprehension, the desire for another way, it didn’t just submit to a one-time statement of the “right words.”
So over and over again, he brought both the request and the words of submission.
And in the midst, he took breaks to see if his friends were standing with him.
And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour?
Ouch. Not even one hour. “Hey guys, Jesus looks upset.”
Five minutes later, “zzzzzzzz.”
It is important here to know who writes these words. Matthew and Luke capture nearly the exact same words. Scholars generally agree that Matthew and Luke had the gospel according to Mark as a reference as they wrote. Mark came first.
Who is Mark? Traditionally it is John Mark, companion to Paul. But also longtime friend of Peter. When Peter escapes prison, whose house does he go to? John Mark’s mother, Mary. And, again by church tradition, Mark is not writing his own testimony (he wasn’t there), but writing the account, the eyewitness testimony of Peter. And this shows up again and again in the text. Stories only Peter would know, insights only he would have.
And above all, Mark captures all the mistakes, the foibles, the times Peter messed up. This is Peter himself, seeing the day he let down his friend, his Lord, over and over again, on the night he needed him most. Here in the Garden. With the sword in a minute. Then three denials before the morning.
So hear with Peter’s ears the words of Jesus spoken to him.
“Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour?” Brutal. Jesus isn’t guilt-tripping, he is hurt, and he is asking for help.
And again...
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Listen to these words of grace!
Jesus understands. He gets it. He even understands why his boys are having a hard time supporting him. This isn’t Peter’s excuse given to Jesus. This is Jesus knowing the frailty of his friends… even as he brings his own frailty to His Father.
And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy, and they did not know what to answer him.
They… didn’t know what to say.
What can you say? What would you say?
He is off “troubled unto death...”
And he came the third time and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough; the hour has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.”
Again and again and again and again.
Sleepless nights
Sleepless nights
I’ve had these sleepless nights. Up cataloguing my failures. Thinking about what I should do… or what I should have done.
Thinking about what could go wrong, hoping for what could go right.
Never worried about being crucified the next day.
But the point is not that “we will never understand what Jesus went through” or that “his pain was way worse than yours.”
You can’t really compare pain and stress that way. It doesn’t work.
The point, is that Jesus gets it. He understands.
Before he takes “humanity” to the cross, he lives it. For the reals. With all the feels. The worries, the anguish, the grief, the hurt, even the “wishing it could be another way.”
Even when he “does the right thing” by submitting it to God, God doesn’t snap his fingers and make the feeling go away.
He understands what it is like to hurt, to feel, to be tempted even to do something, anything, other than what God asks because what God asks is hard or scary.
He understands what it is like to not have your friends support, or understanding. The loneliness of that. Here that in his words to Peter.
Jesus - Fully Human
Jesus - Fully Human
Before our Savior goes to the cross with all the mess that is the human experience… first He lives it. He lives it. Moment by moment, sleepless nights, day after day, year after year.
Hebrews says it this way.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Jesus gets it.
I read Hebrews to say that “even the things we think Jesus might not get… he gets.” He understands temptation in every respect.
He understands weakness in every respect.
He went from being all powerful to being an infant. He knows what it is to take on weakness.
He knows temptation. It isn’t the one who gives in to temptation who knows it most fully, it is the one who resists mounting temptation every day of their life. And at every turn.
Jesus gets it.
He bore our weakness and our shame, our sin and our stupid, everything that is human to the cross.
That is our Savior.
It is easy to come to church and write everyone else off, put them in a box, because everyone cleans up a bit for church.
That’s bogus, by the way, we are all sinners here. We are all saved by grace and grace alone. And we all have our share of sin and stupid, our share of brokenness. Some are just more hidden than others… or more present today than yesterday.
It is easy to think no one else at church understands your pain, your process, your journey, your hurts, your sin.
and that could be right. Pastor Dusty may not get it. He’s kind of idiot sometimes that way. (Just ask my wife).
But our Savior understands. Supernaturally.
If, when you can’t bring your hurt to anyone else. Bring it to Jesus.
When you can’t bring your worry, your fear, because no one else could possibly understand. Bring it to Jesus.
He already knows it. He already sees it. He already paid the price for it, bore the pain of it. Everything that it means to be human, he carried it all to the cross.
Come to the altar.