091006 Pentecost 14

Pentecost 14, September 10, 2006

Marriage: Great Treasures of Repentance

Text: Ephesians 5:21–31

Other Lessons: Psalm 34:15–22; Joshua 24:1–2a, 14–18; John 6:60–69

Sermon Theme: By revealing our sin, the impossible spiritual demands of marriage also drive us to the Savior who forgives.

Goal: That hearers, driven by the unique challenges of holy marriage, would find comfort and strength in their callings as husband or wife through the forgiveness of sins in Jesus.

By Revealing Our Sin, the Impossible Spiritual Demands of Marriage Also Drive Us to the Savior Who Forgives.

This text from Ephesians has been misused and abused by people so that its demands get thrown aside in unbelief. The reason this happens is that the typical Christian does not rightly divide this word of truth according to its Law and Gospel components. Never-the-less, the word is clear even though it presents some impossible things.

First, it clearly makes demands that wives submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ. Ladies, what kind of image does this word bring to your mind? Does it stir positive or negative emotions? If it stirs negative emotions, it should not be surprising. Culture has a lot to do with how we understand something. Our culture simply rejects any thought of submission (obedience). So, when a person is confronted by this word they do not always realize that they are being confronted by God’s LAW. And God’s LAW works in sinners to reveal sin and to literally make it sinful to the person confronted. The wife sadly is a poor, miserable sinner, but, the husband is also a poor, miserable sinner! And when God’s LAW points this out, the result is personal rebellion against it. Oh, that we would grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But in order to do that, the LAW must do its work.

Husbands sometimes like to use that passage to Lord it over their wife. They do that because they do not want to admit that the word also calls for a mutual submission to each other as to the Lord. A husband easily passes over the demand of this text for him to love his wife as Christ loves the Church, sacrificing himself for her. Again, the LAW excites a response. How can a poor miserable sinner love as Christ loves and sacrifice himself as Christ sacrificed Himself?

So here’s the point: The demands of God’s LAW come off as being dictatorial and impossible to fulfill. Even so, we dare not say that God is just joking, or that he doesn’t really mean what he’s saying. No, these words from Ephesians are not optional. They are truly God’s commands on how we are to behave. They show us what we should be and are not. They show us our sin; our selfishness. If allowed to take root in our hearts, the LAW works repentance in our sinful hearts. So it can be rightly said:

By Revealing Our Sin, the Impossible Spiritual Demands of Marriage
Also Drive Us to the Savior Who Forgives.

In other words, great treasures of repentance are revealed in holy marriage!

I.

The Christian husband responds something like this: “Here, Lord, you’ve given me this woman to love with a sacred and pure love that mirrors your own love for your Church! And if my wife doesn’t always make it easy for me to love her selflessly, how much more of an honor to me that I should all the more reflect my Savior, whose own bride, the Church, resents, abandons, and spurns him much more than my dear wife ever has done me!”

Let me share with you how a repentant heart works in real life. I once knew a man whose wife suffered from a mental disorder that caused her to repeatedly do things that brought terrible embarrassment and shame to the man. Yet, he did not consider it an option to divorce her. He considered it his vow of faithfulness to love her, in spite of her malady. And that is just what he did. He didn’t just put up with her—he loved her and stood by her and prayed for her, and prayed with her. That kind of human love can only come from one source—Jesus Christ.

When asked how he managed to endure her antics and misbehaviors, he said: “I simply realized that all my failings, my complaining, my selfish strivings, and my sins made me no better or worse than she. When I married her, I loved her. I still love her because I have come to know how I am loved by God in Christ. What else could I do but to trust the Lord and fulfill my vows to her—in sickness and health! That’s the kind of love Christ has for me and for her. God never wearies of saying to me ‘Go in peace. Your sins are forgiven, for Christ’s own sake.’”

II.

For the Christian wife it’s much the same—when she’s thinking God’s thoughts rather than the thoughts of the world. The world tells her that she’s being treated as a footstool, that she’s a fool to listen to such outdated sexist nonsense as “wives, submit to your husbands.” But the Christian wife listens to the Lord Jesus, who’s speaking through the apostle Paul.

It’s as if Jesus says something like this: “Dear daughter, I’ve given you this man to obey and serve and respect. Now I know this is a very hard task—even an impossible task—he’s a sinner too, you know. So he will often play the fool! And you yourself are just the same. You both will care for yourselves more than the other far too much of the time. Nevertheless, here he is. He is yours and you are his.”

What a tremendous calling for husband and wife. Being so devout is never without its problems. But oh how one’s attitude is changed by the realization that such problems are truly opportunities for growth and remembrance of who we are—in Christ. That’s where a repentant heart leads—right to the loving embrace of God who repeatedly says: ‘My dear children come to me and experience my love. Your sins are forgiven and my Spirit I give to you leads you in the paths of Righteousness and obedience to my word.

This is the kind of marriage that Ephesians 5 describes, not of a husband and wife alone, but of a husband and wife constantly restored by the forgiveness of Christ. Amen.