The Dangers Of Flattery

Proverbs 29:5 A man who flatters his neighbor Spreads a net for his feet.

PRAISE AND FLATTERY

Intro:

1. The significance of the tongue – James 3:1-12

– as a heart indicator – Matt 12:34-36

– as an indicator of spiritual maturity – James 1:26

–as an avenue of influence – James 3:4

2. The church is God’s support system

–designed for interaction between members

–intended for edification and growth.

–much of this is achieved through speech–teaching, admonition, encouragement

–this study to deal with two interrelated areas of speech to one another

I. PRAISE:

1. From Latin for “value” – an attribution of worth

true praise consists of a sincere acknowledgment out of conviction of worth.

–best demonstrated by the proper response to God – Rev 4:11; 5:12

2. God wants to recognize worth – Rom 2:29; 1 Cor 4:5

When He does it, He is always right! It is never “flattery”!

3. Jesus never flattered – but on rare occasions, He commended:

– Nathaniel – for honesty, openness John 1:47

–Roman centurion – for his great faith - Luke 7:2-9

– a widow– for her sacrificial generosity – Mark 12:41-44

– The woman who anointed Christ – for “doing what she could” – Mk 14:6-8

– Mary, for choosing the “good part” – Luke 10:38-44

4. Paul praised – 1 Cor 11:2; 2 Cor 7:11

5. The worthy woman was to be praised – Prov 31:30, 31

6. Characteristics of true praise:

– it is TRUE! False commendation is NOT praise!

– it encourages doing good

– commends the things that are desirable and profitable (do not commend ill temper, impatience, strife)

– gives honor to the one so recognized – when people do well, they SHOULD

be praised.

–areas deserving praise – good works, extra effort, real sacrifice, faithfulness,

Confronting error, etc.

7. Why don’t we praise?

–envy – jealous of attainments, talents of others, reluctant to recognize such,

But, Paul says – Rom 12:15

– insensitive – so self-centered, not aware of the goodness in others.

–pessimistic– bitter, unable to see the good in life

– unwilling to give credit where credit is due

– to keep the other fellow humble?

8. Two sides involved in praise:

a. The “prais-er”

–must not fail to recognize good done, effort made, or qualities which

God approves of.

–proper sense of humility leads us to appreciate any word or deed that

Is done– even by fallible or perhaps irritating people

b. The “prais-ee”

– dealing with praise is both a developer and revealer of character!

(We must learn how to accept both criticism and praise)

– not necessarily an endorsement of the whole life of the prais-ee

– reception in part affected by the one praising

– Humility (or lack of it) is a major factor

–must learn not to be influenced by praise or lack of it

– must retain a sense of self – Rom 12:3

– helps if you keep your own knowledge of yourself in view. Those who praise may only see what they praise, you know of your flaws (Jas 1:22-24) which seriously deflate your ego if seen properly!

II. FLATTERY:

From old French “flater” – “to smooth, flatter..showering praise or attentions on one to gratify the recipient’s vanity, false or excessive praise (to make smooth)”

References:

Job 32:21-22; Psalms 12:2; 78:36; Prov 20:19; 28:23; 29:5; Luke 6:26; 1 Th 2:4-6

Characteristics of flattery:

– usually done by evil people – Ps. 5:6-9

–often done for “advantage” – Jude 1:16

– to gain favor with some people – Absalom – 2 Sam 15:2-6

– to pacify, soothe people – Gideon for Ephraimites – Judges 8:1-3

Effects of flattery:

–Job 17:5 – “eyes of his children shall fail”

–His children will suffer the consequences

Do we realize how what we do affects our children? They are often more perceptive than we realize..seeing us “butter up” to someone, exude excessive deference, etc., cannot help but have an effect on them.

–We may even flatter our own children (praise them when they fail, etc.)

–Prov 26:28 – “worketh ruin”

–Psalms 12:1-3 – punished by the Lord

How to avoid flattery:

–always speak the truth

– do not speak to please men

– we do not have to always SPEAK the truth we know; but we can neither say nor imply anything that is NOT the truth!

PRAISE AND FLATTERY

Intro:

1. The significance of the tongue – James 3:1-12

– as a heart indicator – Matt 12:34-36

– as an indicator of spiritual maturity – James 1:26

–as an avenue of influence – James 3:4

2. The church is God’s support system

–designed for interaction between members

–intended for edification and growth.

–much of this is achieved through speech–teaching, admonition, encouragement

–this study to deal with two interrelated areas of speech to one another

I. PRAISE:

1. From Latin for “value” – an attribution of worth

true praise consists of a sincere acknowledgment out of conviction of worth.

–best demonstrated by the proper response to God – Rev 4:11; 5:12

2. God wants to recognize worth – Rom 2:29; 1 Cor 4:5

When He does it, He is always right! It is never “flattery”!

3. Jesus never flattered – but on rare occasions, He commended:

– Nathaniel – for honesty, openness John 1:47

–Roman centurion – for his great faith - Luke 7:2-9

– a widow– for her sacrificial generosity – Mark 12:41-44

– The woman who anointed Christ – for “doing what she could” – Mk 14:6-8

– Mary, for choosing the “good part” – Luke 10:38-44

4. Paul praised – 1 Cor 11:2; 2 Cor 7:11

5. The worthy woman was to be praised – Prov 31:30, 31

6. Characteristics of true praise:

– it is TRUE! False commendation is NOT praise!

– it encourages doing good

– commends the things that are desirable and profitable (do not commend ill temper, impatience, strife)

– gives honor to the one so recognized – when people do well, they SHOULD

be praised.

–areas deserving praise – good works, extra effort, real sacrifice, faithfulness,

Confronting error, etc.

7. Why don’t we praise?

–envy – jealous of attainments, talents of others, reluctant to recognize such,

But, Paul says – Rom 12:15

– insensitive – so self-centered, not aware of the goodness in others.

–pessimistic– bitter, unable to see the good in life

– unwilling to give credit where credit is due

– to keep the other fellow humble?

8. Two sides involved in praise:

a. The “prais-er”

–must not fail to recognize good done, effort made, or qualities which

God approves of.

–proper sense of humility leads us to appreciate any word or deed that

Is done– even by fallible or perhaps irritating people

b. The “prais-ee”

– dealing with praise is both a developer and revealer of character!

(We must learn how to accept both criticism and praise)

– not necessarily an endorsement of the whole life of the prais-ee

– reception in part affected by the one praising

– Humility (or lack of it) is a major factor

–must learn not to be influenced by praise or lack of it

– must retain a sense of self – Rom 12:3

– helps if you keep your own knowledge of yourself in view. Those who praise may only see what they praise, you know of your flaws (Jas 1:22-24) which seriously deflate your ego if seen properly!

II. FLATTERY:

From old French “flater” – “to smooth, flatter..showering praise or attentions on one to gratify the recipient’s vanity, false or excessive praise (to make smooth)”

References:

Job 32:21-22; Psalms 12:2; 78:36; Prov 20:19; 28:23; 29:5; Luke 6:26; 1 Th 2:4-6

Characteristics of flattery:

– usually done by evil people – Ps. 5:6-9

–often done for “advantage” – Jude 1:16

– to gain favor with some people – Absalom – 2 Sam 15:2-6

– to pacify, soothe people – Gideon for Ephraimites – Judges 8:1-3

Effects of flattery:

–Job 17:5 – “eyes of his children shall fail”

–His children will suffer the consequences

Do we realize how what we do affects our children? They are often more perceptive than we realize..seeing us “butter up” to someone, exude excessive deference, etc., cannot help but have an effect on them.

–We may even flatter our own children (praise them when they fail, etc.)

–Prov 26:28 – “worketh ruin”

–Psalms 12:1-3 – punished by the Lord

How to avoid flattery:

–always speak the truth

– do not speak to please men

– we do not have to always SPEAK the truth we know; but we can neither say nor imply anything that is NOT the truth!