Deuteronomy 5:16 - Honor Father and Mother

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INTRODUCTION

When God created Adam, and then created Eve for Adam, He said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh,” (Gen. 2:24). Thus, the family was created.

And then God commanded them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth...” As image-bearers of God, Adam and Eve were to make more image-bearers of God who would honor God (i.e., revere and obey Him).

But the fall—the rebellion of man against God—changed everything.

Soon after Adam and Eve sinned against God, their son Cain murdered his brother Abel. Rebellion begot rebellion and on and on the world has turned ever since.

Ever since the fall there have been satanic attacks on marriage, on parenting, on the family, on unborn babies and young children, and even on elderly parents.

But God’s plan from the beginning was the family. And despite the fall, His plan is still Daddies and Mamas who raise their children to honor God by teaching them to honor Daddy and Mama.

If we obey God, the attacks of Satan will be repulsed.

Out of all the peoples on planet Earth, God set His love on the descendents of Abraham—the Hebrews, the Israelites, the Jewish people—because His glory would be most magnified in them as He brought the Savior into the world.

He made promises to this people.

He cared for this people.

He rescued this people.

And He commanded this people.

And in particular He said, “Honor your father and your mother...”

This is the fifth commandment in the Ten Commandments. Let’s read it in the context of all Ten...

[READING - Deuteronomy 5:6-21]

Deuteronomy 5:6–21 NASB95

6 ‘I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 7 ‘You shall have no other gods before Me. 8 ‘You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth. 9 ‘You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, 10 but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. 11 ‘You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain. 12 ‘Observe the sabbath day to keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. 13 ‘Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 14 but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your ox or your donkey or any of your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you, so that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you. 15 ‘You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out of there by a mighty hand and by an outstretched arm; therefore the Lord your God commanded you to observe the sabbath day. 16 ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you. 17 ‘You shall not murder. 18 ‘You shall not commit adultery. 19 ‘You shall not steal. 20 ‘You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 21 ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, and you shall not desire your neighbor’s house, his field or his male servant or his female servant, his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.’

[PRAYER]

[CONTEXT] The Israelites have been rescued from Egypt; they’ve wandered in the wilderness; a whole generation of unbelieving Israelites have perished; and now the Joshua and Caleb generation are about to enter the Promised Land.

Before they do, God renews His covenant with them—the covenant that will mark them as God’s people and that will mark Him as their God.

They will have no other gods but Him.

They will not worship idols, treat God like an idol, or worship Him as one.

They will not bear the name of the Lord in vain.

They will observe the Sabbath day and keep it holy.

And they will honor their fathers and their mothers.

The first part of the Ten Commandments is about man’s relationship with God.

The second part is about man’s relationship with man.

But the command to honor father and mother is about both God and man—it is how accurate knowledge of God and how right worship of God is supposed to be passed down from generation to generation.

This fifth commandment is a cutting command.

And the cut—the conviction—goes both ways; it cuts both children and parents.

[TS] Let’s think first about what this command demands of parents…

MAJOR IDEAS

#1: The Command to Fathers and Mothers

[EXP] There is an assumption before we get to this fifth commandment.

Israelite parents were to worship YHWH (Deut. 5:7). They were to worship Him as He demanded not as others worshipped their idols (Deut. 5:8-10). If they did not, their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren would pay the price. If they did, then their children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and so on would be blessed with YHWH’s lovingkindness.

These Israelite parents—like all Israelites in general— were to bear the name of YHWH faithfully (Deut. 5:11). They were to love and obey His commands whether in the open air of the public square or behind the closed doors of home. And all of this and more was to be faithfully passed down to their children. Listen to Deuteronomy 6:4-9…

Deuteronomy 6:4–9 ESV

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Israelite parents were commanded by God to take the lead in discipling their children in the Word of God. That discipleship began with the total love that parents were to have for God (Deut. 6:5)—a love that extended to the Word of God (Deut. 6:6)—Words that were to be taught diligently to their children; Words that were to be talked about as they sat around the dinner table and as they traveled from one place to another; Words that filled the family conversation after every “good morning” and before every “good night”—Words to be remembered (Deut. 6:8)—Doorpost-Words to be loved and obeyed at home and Gate-Words to be loved obeyed while away from home (Deut. 6:9).

Parents were to be totally devoted to God and diligent about the discipleship of their children in the Word of God. And children were to honor their fathers and mothers.

[ILLUS] In 1998 the Barna Research Group surveyed born-again parents and found that 77% of those parents said that the church and the Bible did not influence how they parented their children. But nearly 80% of born-again parents said the church should do more to help people be better parents.

Again, this was 1998, but I don’t think things have improved in the decades since.

I don’t think born-again parents today are allowing the church and the Bible to have more influence on how they parent their children.

In fact, I would guess that the Internet, social media, schools, and one’s own experience as a child all have more impact on how we raise our children today—even for Christians—than does the church and the Bible.

And I would also guess that even more that 80% of Christian parents would say that the church should do more to help people be better parents.

But here’s the thing—it’s so easy to blame the church.

The Bible is God’s Word, so we dare not blame the Bible.

Our children are our babies so we dare not blame those perfect little sweet baby angels.

And we are the parents, so we dare not blame ourselves when we’re just ‘doing our best’.

So we blame the church.

“The church isn’t doing enough to help me as a parent.”

“The church isn’t doing enough for my kids.”

But the truth is—assuming you are in a church that preaches and teaches the Bible faithfully—the church is helping you become a better parent by equipping you to further disciple your own children in the Word of God.

The purpose of the church is to equip the saints (i.e., Christians) for the work of the ministry by discipling them in the Word of God.

If you have children, they are your primary ministry. And if you are in a church that disciples you in the Word of God, then you are being equipped for that ministry.

So, if we are in a faithful church (and I think we are), it ought not be the case that nearly everything else has more influence over the way we parent our children than does the church and the Bible.

But what the church—and even what the Bible—cannot overcome is parents’ refusal to take up the God-given ministry of discipling their children.

I think many—if not most—of those Christian parents who say, “The church should do more to help me as a parent,” are actually saying, “I’m not going to do it as a parent, so I want someone else to do it for me.”

But do you understand that every sermon you here is an opportunity for you to grow in the Word of God so that you can help your children grow in the Word of God?

So you are left without excuse.

Every Bible study you participate in is an opportunity for you to grow closer to God so that you can help your children grow close to God.

So you are left without excuse.

Every lesson in God’s Word is a lesson in which you learn more about loving your neighbor—including those neighbors that call you ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’.

So you are left without excuse.

[APP] Proverbs 6:20-22 says…

Proverbs 6:20–22 NASB95

20 My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not forsake the teaching of your mother; 21 Bind them continually on your heart; Tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you.

These verses aren’t just talking about whatever a father or mother might command or teach. They are talking about the commandments and teachings in the Word of God. That’s why this son—in language similar to Deuteronomy 6—is told to bind them on his heart and tie them around his neck.

These Words—the commands of God—will guide him, protect him, and counsel him.

As a parent I sometimes think about the day—hopefully a day long into the future—when I won’t be around for my children anymore.

I won’t be there to answer questions or give advice.

I won’t be their to protect them or comfort them.

Who will do that for them when I’m gone or when Cheryl’s gone?

Sure, hopefully that is so far into the future that they will have spouses and children, extended family, church family, and godly friends that will do all that for them, but ultimately the Words of God will do all that for them.

But it won’t just happen.

I have to be intentional.

I have to be diligent.

I have to be intentional and diligent about growing in my love for God and His Word.

And I have to be intentional and diligent about passing on my love for God and His Word to them.

It’s not true in every case, of course, but I think our children will love what we love.

If we love money, they will love money.

If we love self, they will love self.

If we love sin, we shouldn’t be surprised when they love sin.

If we love the church, there’s a significantly greater chance that they will love the church.

If we love the Words of God, then there’s a significantly greater chance that they will love the Words of God as well—and those words will guide them, protect them, and counsel them even when we’re gone.

Please don’t think it’s too late if you were not that kind of parent or you haven’t been to this point. God can still do wonders with whatever time you have left—at whatever age your children are—if you will repent.

You may have to have a very frank and honest discussion. You may have to confess sins to your children…

Perhaps we will have to confess the sin of hypocrisy where we talked and lived the Words of God beyond the gates but talked and lived something different inside the doorposts of our houses; or we talked and lived the Words of God at church but talked and lived something different in every other area of our lives.