Relate

Our theme for 2021 is “Redeeming the Time”

I thought it was time to articulate a vision for the church, not just an annual theme, but an overall vision.

All this month I have been presenting the result of a year of listening an discerning what God has called us as a church to be and to do.

Over the last year I listened to the stories of the church, we discussed our values as a leadership team and from that discussion emerged a new vision.

Our vision at SCF is to “Encounter God’s Transforming Love.”

How do we do that? (Four R’s)

Respond

We don’t want people to just have a head knowledge of God; we want God-encounters.

God reveals Himself through a divine encounter and we respond, by our worship, our actions, our obedience.

Restore

This church has always been about restoration; that’s why we have counseling, small groups and Elijah House.

There is a prophetic picture in the scripture of a river of life that flows from the Presence of God bringing life to dead places- that’s restoration!

Release

One of the things that we observed is that this church has been used by God as a sending church; we have launched some significant ministries out of our little fellowship.

We want to release people into ministry; to equip and encourage them to use their God-given gifts and talents.

Relate

So now we come to the fourth and final step: relate - represented by the circle on the logo.

You may recall from the wedding ceremony that the circle of the ring is a sign of covenant - an unbroken union showing a continuous relationship.

Our relationships in the church are covenant relationships in that we are joined to one another through our common union with Christ.

The first three R’s are somewhat sequential in that each one naturally leads to the next.

Relationship, however, permeates everything that we do and continues even after people are sent out.

Our previous vision statement was “Building relationships that glorify God”

Surely, relationship has always been a priority in this fellowship.

And people have frequently commented that they feel loved here and that we are like a family.

Those steps again are Respond, Restore, and Release

And now we add Relate which permeates:

We want to do all this together, helping and encouraging each other as a family in Christ.

To do this, we need to be intentional about fellowship and nurturing relationships throughout our spiritual journey.

Whether near or far, the relationships that we establish are of eternal value.

1 John 4:7–12 NLT

7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

Relating as a child of God

In the 1920’s Austrian-born Psychologist Elton Mayo began to theorize that productivity in the workplace has more to do with relationship and less to do with the work itself. In other words, if an employee feels valued and is treated well as a person, they will be more productive and do better quality work.

People are not machines. They work best when they are in a positive and supportive relational environment. Today, that is called human relations theory and companies have staff psychologists, chaplains and whole departments devoted to counter-balancing the task-oriented demands of business.

God knows we are relational beings because he created us that way.

He created us in his image and He is a relational being.

We function best when we love, forgive and find unity in relationship with others.

Love is essential.

“Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.”

Lets start at the basics of human relationship.

We all need to love and to be loved.

When you love, you resemble your heavenly Father.

Because God is love - that is His defining characteristic.

I’m not sure that we always think of God as love.

Our concept of God is shaped by our earthly parents.

So if you had a demanding father, you may think of God as demanding.

If you had an absent father, you may think of God as absent.

But God, even though He is powerful and holy, is also the source of all goodness, compassion, altruism and benevolence.

How do we know? Because He sent Himself to redeem us.

Forgiveness is possible.

Why is there evil in the world?

That’s a big question.

I can tell you this much, God is not responsible for evil.

James 1:13 The Message

13 Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.

God is not evil, so it couldn’t come from Him.

What did God do about evil?

He took the sin of the world on Himself and was nailed to a cross.

The cross is the stopping point for all sin.

So what do we do with all of the pain that other people cause us?

We forgive because He forgave us.

We each have an innate sense of justice. Someone has to pay!

Forgiveness is not fair.

What happened to you is not fair.

However, passing the pain around is also not fair.

Jesus paid a very dear price so that you would have a place to go with your pain.

No one is getting off free, Jesus paid the price for forgiveness.

Jesus’ sacrifice makes forgiveness possible.

But remember we said that forgiveness and trust are two different things?

Forgiveness does not automatically mean you are reconciled, but it makes working toward reconciliation possible.

Unity is inevitable.

Why do I say this?

Unity often seems to be an elusive goal.

We work at forgiveness and reconciliation, but then something else happens and it seems like we are back to square one.

The basis for unity is not in us - it is in God.

1 John 4:12 AMP

12 No man has at any time [yet] seen God. But if we love one another, God abides (lives and remains) in us and His love (that love which is essentially His) is brought to completion (to its full maturity, runs its full course, is perfected) in us!

God is the one who gives us the love that unites us.

God is revealing Himself through humanity and unity is the evidence, the visible sign, of God’s Presence.

This passage tells us that when we love each other, that is the culmination of God’s revelation.

Whenever believers from different backgrounds, denomination and ethnicities get together and praise God there is a powerful Presence in that gathering!

There is one more reason why I believe unity is inevitable:

John 17:20–23 ESV

20 “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23 I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.

I have to believe that any prayer that Jesus prayed and is recorded in scripture must be possible and will be answered!

Relating as a body

Last week we talked about being members of the body of Christ as it relates to using our gifts.

Today we are using the same analogy for unity in Christ.

The analogy is that we have differing gifts and functions, but that we are all interconnected like parts of a body.

We have many parts but we function under one head - Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 4:1–6 ESV

1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Start with humility.

Now there’s a good place to start!

The sinful nature is selfish (self-protection, self-preservation and self-promotion).

The new nature in Christ is being perfected in love.

Humility means lower our sense of self to raise others up.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” - Rick Warren

Romans 12:3–5 ESV

3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

According to this passage, humility is the perspective of someone who practices faith.

Faith means that we are looking to God for identity and direction.

Faith means that I am not measuring myself against another person, but measuring only my obedience to God.

Humility means that we honor one another by considering the value and dignity of each person.

Gossip is such a destructive force in the church.

When we talk about people in ways that are unkind or demeaning, that breaks down the trust that we work so hard to build.

One rule that I have is that I want to obtain permission before I tell another person’s story.

We are each to share our testimony, but another persons story is theirs to tell.

Some of my clients have given me permission to tell their stories if they can be used to help others.

I also try to work with people instead of around them.

For example, if i want to know what someone thinks it would be best to ask them.

But sometimes if I’m afraid to ask, I might try to ask everyone else until I think I have an approach that will work to get the answer that I want.

That’s not honoring; it’s manipulation.

That’s not functioning as a body; it’s the very definition of dysfunction.

Maintain the unity of the Spirit.

The Bible tells us to maintain unity because it takes work.

One of the basic relational principles to unity in the church is found in Matthew 18:

Matthew 18:15–17 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

It seems so simple, but it takes intentionality - deal with issue directly if possible.

Go to the person who has offended you before you go to everyone else.

I think the idea would be that perhaps they didn’t know that they hurt you or realize the damage that they caused.

The hope would be that upon receiving this information, they would want to make things right.

I think that when we approach people with honesty and humility it often works that way.

But what if it doesn’t go well? You try again, but take someone with you.

The text says that the purpose of this is to have a witness to the conversation.

That’s one reason, and another is that it would be useful to have another perspective.

Was it the way that you said it that made the person defensive?

Was there another side to the story?

Conflict resolution begins with expressing one’s self clearly, but it also has to do with listening well and responding constructively.

There may be a time when you skip to step two because you have a history with the person and you already know that going alone has not gone well in the past.

For example, I would never tell a victim of abuse to confront their abuser, especially not alone.

There is also a time when steps one and two haven’t resolved the issue and you need to pursue mediation from someone who has the authority to speak into that persons life.

In case you were wondering, we don’t march people up in front of the church and publicly humiliate them like some churches have done in the past.

I don’t think that is what Jesus would do either.

But I do think that there is a time to speak into someones life from a position of authority.

We do this as politely and gently as possible.

The only reason we would do it publicly is if it were already publicly known or if it needed to be known because the person has a public persona.

In the past, some churches have gotten this backward, dealing with members publicly and leaders privately.

It should be the other way around!

The final outcome, if the matter cannot be resolved, is that they become like an outsider.

Here again, excommunication is not about public shaming.

It is simply recognizing the reality that we no longer agree.

Amos 3:3 NLT

3 Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?

When attempts at correction fail we have to agree to disagree.

We don’t hate them; we just don’t have as much in common as we once thought.

Gentiles and tax collectors were among Jesus’ followers, but they had to deal with their other allegiances before they could become his disciple.

We want to keep open the possibility of restoration and reconciliation in the future.

Focus on becoming one.

Being “one body” means that we are different, but we function together in harmony.

Paul follows that up with a lot of other ways that we are “one”

Ephesians 4:5–6 TPT

5 For the Lord God is one, and so are we, for we share in one faith, one baptism, and one Father. 6 And He is the perfect Father who leads us all, works through us all, and lives in us all!

I use “The Passion Translation” because it highlights what would have been apparent to the readers of the text; that “one” is like the Trinity.

God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit but there is only one God.

Three distinct persons but complete unity.

In that unity, no one looses their identity.

There is complete agreement in the Godhead because there is unity of essence and of purpose.

Relating as a family

A good analogy for “oneness of essence and purpose” is a family.

A family has the same DNA - one in essence.

And they function as a household - one in purpose.

Ephesians 2:19–22 NLT

19 So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. 20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit.

A family has rules.

When Karie came to be part of our family, she noticed that after dinner each of us would take our plate, rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher. That is the way my children were raised. That’s just what we do.

The problem is that she is also trying to clear the table and having a parade of people between the table, the sink and the dishwasher is just getting in the way of progress. “Why can’t you just pass your plates over to one person at the sink who rinses them off and puts, them in the dishwasher,” she would say. “And while you’re at it, you can clear off the rest of the table too!”

It made sense, but it was not what were used to. It takes time, but I am now trained to do it her way. And when the kids come home …yeah… they still do it the old way.

In the church too, every house has it’s rules.

Paul was talking about Jews and Gentile coming together in Christ.

Talk about coming from families with different rules!

Rules are not just things that are written; it’s how we do what we do.

But now they are being joined into one family in Christ.

Every rule needs to be evaluated to see if it still suits the purpose.

As you are being united with other believers especially those from other places and cultures, you will find that people do things differently.

We need to be open to learning new ways of doing things.

The rules serve a purpose, and that the purpose is more important than the rules.

We have “rules” in our church too; but vision is more important.

It is more important that we “Encounter God’s Transforming Love” than that we sing five songs and then take up the offering.

It is more important that we “Respond, Restore and Release” than that we get out before noon.

It’s OK that we do things the way we do, but The Spirit of God can change anything He want’s to if it fits His purpose.

A family has roles.

If we are going to have a sense of common purpose and know what we are to do, someone has to lead.

In a family, you have parents who lead the family.

In a dysfunctional family, parents lead in a arbitrary way.

Sometimes the rule matter, sometimes they don’t

Sometimes you will get in trouble for doing nothing!

Kids learn to react to their parents mood rather than their words.

In a functional family rules are consistent.

Not only are the rules consistent but the personalities of the parents are stable; you don’t have to wonder how they are going to react.

Everyone has a sense of what is important to the family and they work together to achieve, or to have fun or relax; whatever is the value of the family.

As a leader in this family; our church, I want you to know what is expected.

That is why we as a leadership team have taken the time to discuss and articulate what we believe is important.

You don’t need to wonder what we think about most things.

If it’s in line with the vision, it’s pretty much an automatic, “yes.”

We want to facilitate communication for the sake of order, but we have already agreed on a direction.

This is so important as we grow and as we build ministries.

My job is to clearly articulate the vision so you all can run with it.

A family has each other.

The best part about being a family is not having to do life alone.

You are surrounded by people who love you with God’s love and who deeply care about you because you matter to God and to them.

A spiritual discipline that is often forgotten is that of seeking guidance.

Because of our hurts and wounds we fear rejection and we try to go it alone in life.

Maybe your family gives you a hard time whenever you ask their opinion.

Your church family should be a supportive network that will help you to hear God’s voice more clearly.

I believe each person need to hear God for themselves and obey what God is saying.

But I also believe that we hear better together.

God will not tell you something that is incompatible with what he is telling me.

But each of us might hear something that adds to what the other is hearing.

Most of the time when people ask me for discernment about a decision, I want to draw out of them what God is saying to them.

Then I can either confirm, ask questions or add my perspective to what they have heard.

I don’t what people do become dependent on me to hear God.

I want them to be built up and grow in their ability to both hear and to help guide others.

God created humanity because He wanted a family.

That is why He created us a relational beings like Himself.

You were never meant to live life alone.

Measurements for Meditation:

I will seek to promote unity in the Body of Christ by walking in love, refusing to gossip, and forgiving when offended.

I commit to praying for and supporting the vision of my church leadership.

I agree to seeking the Lord and the counsel of others for direction in my own life.

I aspire to nurture relationships both inside and outside of the church by praying for others, by encouraging them, and by speaking the truth in love.