(un)distracted_session 2: A Singular Passion

Intro

What’s the greatest gift you’ve ever been given?

1989 TMNT Pizza Thrower

1988 GI Joe Rolling Thunder Combat Vehicle

1993 Sega Genesis

Have you ever considered singleness to be a gift that may just be among the greatest gifts you’ve ever been given?

Anytime a good thing becomes an ultimate thing, we’ve created an idol in our hearts, and marriage and relationships can certainly fall into that category.

As you’re striving to be undistracted in your pursuit of Jesus, the goal is for a dating relationship and eventually marriage, to truly improve your relationship with Jesus. But in the meantime, in your singleness, are you taking advantage of the gift you’ve been given? What are you doing with your singleness? Paul has some suggestions for you in 1 Corinthians 7.

Body

1 Corinthians 7:32–35 (ESV) — 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Paul’s desire: Be free from anxieties

What kind of anxieties?

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord

And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit

These are the anxieties Paul desires for you and me.

In fact his whole goal is there in verse 35, “to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”

Undivided devotion. We could perhaps say, undistracted devotion?

undivided = without distraction

devotion = service to the Lord

Paul wants you to be completely sold out in serving the Lord.

What’s your goal this year?

Serve the Lord without distraction.

What do you want to do with your degree?

Serve the Lord without distraction.

What are your plans for the summer?

Serve the Lord without distraction.

Greatest commandment: You shall love the Lord your God with everything

Deuteronomy 10:12–13 (ESV) — 12 “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, 13 and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord, which I am commanding you today for your good?

In this section of 1 Corinthians, Paul focuses on how your singleness plays a role in this aim.

Let’s begin though with that opening statement: I want you to be free from anxieties.

One thing to get clear up front here is that Paul’s not talking about sinful anxieties; this is different from Philippians 4.

“the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.”

“the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.”

These are more concerns than anxieties.

Paul was making the point that marriage, though good, divides our attention.

Yes, the paradigm that we have in the Bible is to do everything we do for the glory of God.

And yes, when I do premarital counseling I tell the couple that their love for each other should have a sanctifying impact on the other person.

And yes, when they exchange their vows they promise that they will always point the other person toward Jesus and everything they do will be first and foremost about Jesus. They will keep Jesus first at all times in their marriage.

These are the moments when, as I officiate the wedding in full view of the audience who thinks these are the cutest vows they’ve ever heard, I work hard to suppress the eye-roll.

Why?

Are these bad sentiments? No.

Are they bad goals? No.

Is this what the Lord wants from us? Yes.

So why the eye-roll...Because I know how hard this really is.

The context of 1 Corinthians 7 is all about relationships. And Paul was simply pointing to the reality that relationships can distract us from the “the things of the Lord.”

This isn’t a bad side versus a good side; otherwise, Paul would command us not to get married. This is simply a matter of what he considered to be better.

Y’all are in a unique time of life, where you have the ability to keep your own schedule and make your own budget. You can take your vacations where you want to, and you can decide where to serve and when to serve. You’re concerns aren’t divided between yourself and another person.

P1: Recognize What You Have While You Have Singleness

I want to be careful here. I love being married, and wouldn’t trade my marriage for anything this side of eternity.

But, I also look back at my single years and think about how much time I lost through being anxious about getting married.

Rather than trusting in God’s timing for my future, I was thinking about how I could take things into my own hands.

Who would I marry?

What do I do when that relationship ends?

What if she breaks up with me?

As a single person, you have an opportunity to be available to serve the Lord, and not worry about these things.

If a friend calls you to come over for fellowship, you can just go.

If you have an opportunity to go on a mission trip, you can just go.

If you have an opportunity to give to a missionary, you can just give.

If you have an opportunity to serve in the church, you can just serve.

Your schedule is your own, your plans are your own, your money is your own. But here’s the thing...

Your singleness is a stewardship.

Your single years belong to God, and He wants you to use it well, not wish you weren’t in it.

Undistracted devotion is what the Lord is after when it comes to where you’re at right now.

Would you describe your current state as “undistracted devotion?”

Y’all look, when I met Amanda I was’t looking for her. God introduced us at a back to school thing when I was on my way back up to my dorm.

You know how much I benefited from worrying about a relationship, from anxieties about getting married?

What could I have accomplished for the Lord if I had stewarded my single years better?

END P1

One thing you will accomplish if you pursue undistracted devotion to the Lord during this season of life is preparation for marriage.

If you want to be married the best prep you can engage in is living with undistracted devotion to the Lord.

“The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.”

“The unmarried woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.”

Again, we talking about concerns and not so much the traditional concept of anxieties.

Philippians 2:20 (ESV) — 20 For I have no one like him, who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare.

Your life should be marked by concern, just not anxious concern.

You should feel a pressure to be concerned with “the things of the Lord.”

Matthew 6:31–33 (ESV) — 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

No matter what your stage of life, single or married, the Lord wants you to be concerned about His things, and His things are all about His agenda.

P2: Be Ready for Marriage if That’s God’s Will

I’m going to assume you want to marry a godly person.

You want to marry a person who is mature in their faith

You want to marry a person who loves Jesus

You want to marry a person who reads and studies the Bible

You want to marry a person who cares about the lost and shares the gospel

You want to marry a person who prays

You want marry a person who is seeking first the kingdom of God.

You know what’s coming…are you this type of person?

Are you concerned about “the things of the Lord?”

Are you concerned about His kingdom and His agenda?

If the person you were to marry had your current spiritual walk, would you be good with that?

Are you pursuing the Lord in your singleness with an undistracted devotion in order to be ready when and if He leads you into a marriage?

END P2

Let’s put some legs to this now.

Once more, here’s why your singleness is so valuable.

1 Corinthians 7:33–34 (ESV) — 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

The flip side is what y’all enjoy presently:

“The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.”

“The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.”

Here’s the thing y’all, a lot of this comes down to contentment.

Are you content in your singleness?

Are you content to concern yourself with the things of the Lord?

If you are content with where you are you will be more likely to wake up daily asking how you can please the Lord that day.

P3: Regardless of Relational Status Aim Daily to Please the Lord

“to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord”

Paul gives two descriptors for what that should look like:

Concerned about “how to please the Lord”

The contrast is with being concerned about “how to please his wife”

The things He loves…do them

The things He hates…don’t do them

Galatians 1:10 (ESV) — 10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:8–10 (ESV) — 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

Ephesians 5:7-21

Colossians 1:9-14

Concerned about “how to be holy in body and spirit”

1 Thess 4:1-8

Y’all so much of this is about believing the promises of God; trusting that He is faithful and will reward your faithfulness. If you will focus on what the Lord has promised you, it will carry you through any season you face.

If you want to be married, that’s a good thing. But look, if you’re looking to marriage to satisfy your deepest longings, you’ll be disappointed. You already have everything you need to be happy, to be satisfied.

In fact, look back at 7:29-31.

1 Corinthians 7:29–31 (ESV) — 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

END P3

Conclusion

The most important, most significant, most worthwhile investment of your time is an investment first and foremost in being undivided in devotion to Jesus.

The reality is most of you in this room will most likely end up married, and that’s a good thing. My wife is such a blessing to me, and I love Jesus more because she’s my wife. I’m more effective in ministry because she’s my wife.

This isn’t a message about not getting married, or marriage as a bad thing. This is about what you’re doing right now, in a unique season of your life. You are free to concern yourself first and foremost with the things of the Lord and how to please him. I pray that’s where you are.

Application Questions Session 2:

Would you say that marriage and relationships are idols in your life? Are you content in your singleness? If you’re in a relationship, would you be okay if the Lord was to end that relationship?

What about your spiritual life right now, do you feel would be attractive to the type of person you want to marry? What areas could you improve upon in relation to this question? What are you going to do to start improving in those areas?

If your life was a pie chart, how much of your life would you estimate is devoted to the Lord? How much to yourself? Read Matthew 16:24-26. What would Jesus say your pie chart should look like?

Is marriage something that you desire? If so, why? If not, why not? Is there anything about your desire to be married that might be distracting you from being undivided in your devotion to the Lord?

How does faith play a key role in this area of your life? Believing the promises of God; believing that if you are focused on Him, He will take care of this area of your life.