Redemptive Family

If you want to get to know someone well all you have to do is ask them about their family. How they respond can be very telling. Each family is its own little entity, but it is also a microcosm of the society at large. We can each have our own family dynamics, but we all reflect the society we live in to some degree. Depending on where you live in the world, your dinner table will look different. If you live in the Middle East, the men will dominate the dining room, while the women run back and forth from the kitchen, replenishing the food the men will enjoy. The meals can take hours and hours to prepare and eat. Nobody seems to be in a rush. In traditional Japanese homes, you will find people sitting on cushions around a low table, enjoying copious amounts of rice and fish. In many parts of Africa, it is normal to see women cooking over an open fire and dinner is served in the middle of a hungry crowd, all eager to dip their hands into the bowls of food and scoop out their own serving. Here in America, a lot of us have lost the art of dinnertime. In fact, while googling information for this message, when I typed in traditional American dinner, Denny’s was the first link to pop up. Most families do not participate in a family dinner time, and when they do it lasts 15-30 minutes. We shovel our food in, barely having time to check in with the members of our family before we are off to our next activity.

The family unit has taken a massive hit in the last 50 years. What used to be the traditional family setup has become extremely broken and disjointed for many reasons. I don’t need to expound upon the different reasons why we are seeing such brokenness in the homes because I know the culprit behind it all. Satan is out to kill, steal and destroy, and one of the his favorite places to go is in the home. He has done his best work causing division in the family, and he’s smart, he knows that when a family implodes, the damage done will be so horrific that most people will never recover.

Satan began his assault against the family in the garden of Eden, driving a wedge between Adam and Eve. Then he immediately brought dissension between the sons of Adam and Eve. Cain killed Abel out of jealousy and we haven’t seen an end to this type of animosity within the family since.

Since the family has been brutally under attack since the fall, it didn’t take long for God to step in and be the Father His people needed. In Exodus we find God revealing Himself as a Father to Moses and His chosen people. God had heard the cries of His people who had been taken as slaves by the Egyptian. And like any good Father, He wanted to step in and save them. Exodus 4:21-23, “The LORD said to Moses, “When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go. 22 Then say to Pharaoh, ‘This is what the LORD says: Israel is my firstborn son, 23 and I told you, “Let my son go, so he may worship me.”

God showed Himself as the good Father and rescued His people. And at that moment, He created a family out of a very broken nation. They now had a Father, they were no longer orphaned slaves. The family of God was established that day, with a Heavenly Father who would guide and protect them.

This family changed over the course of the centuries. But it has never been destroyed. The Israelites enjoyed the blessing of their Father for many years, but they also came to understand the harsh reality that no family is perfect. Children will rebel. They will be disobedient. They will fight with each other. No matter how wonderful the Father is, the family was still made up of imperfect people.

Seeing human kind’s natural tendency to stray from Him, God decided to do something that would bring ultimate healing and redemption to His extremely broken family.

He sent His one and only Son, who perfectly modeled what family should look like.

Jesus was born into a broken family. His mom was the unmarried pregnant girl who faced shame from her own family and community. His step-father raised him the best he knew how, and his multiple step-siblings were fallible humans who argued and fought as any siblings do. God intentionally put Jesus into an imperfect family.

Soon after Jesus began His public ministry, He became quite the center of attention. Jesus had begun teaching and crowds would quickly gather because they were intrigued by His words and in awe of His miracles.

Mark 3:20-21, “Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. 21 When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

Mary and his brothers thought that Jesus had gone too far. He was becoming a fanatic. He needed to eat and go back home where He’d be safe. They actually thought that they could take charge of Him. During this dinner, religious leaders determined that Jesus was possessed by Satan himself. How else could he be doing what he’s doing. Jesus rebukes them and shows how nonsensical their claims are. Mark 3:31-35, “Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.”

33 “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked.

34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

This moment should take our breath away. Jesus is making the radical announcement that anyone who does the will of God is now his brother, sister, and mother. He is willing to expand His family and give access to His Father. He is establishing an eternal family structure that will bring healing and redemption to the brokenness we have all been wounded by.

1 John 3:1-2 says it this way, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”

Everyone who does the will of God is welcome in the family. No matter what you have done, where you are from, who you have been, Jesus invites us all to the table. To sit at His feet and learn from Him. To sit and just be in His presence.

So much of Jesus’ ministry happened around a table. And all were welcome. The sinners, the tax collectors, those who had demon possessed, the betrayers, and even the women. He broke down the dividing walls of culture, gender, socioeconomic status, and ethnicity. The table leveled the playing field.

Joining a family, in their home, around their dinner table, is one of the most intimate things we can do. It’s where real conversations take place.

When we come to Jesus’ table...

1. He gives our family purpose.

The family rules are simple. Love God and love others. In those rules lies our purpose. We are to love. But the kind of love that we show goes against everything our culture exhibits. Our love is unconditional. It is nonjudgmental, it is life giving. It comes from the true Source. We have experienced His love so we can love like He loves.

1 John 4:19-21, “We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”

2. He changes our family dynamics.

I was speaking to a wise young friend last week and she described her faith journey so beautifully. She said that she was raised in a Christian home, which introduced her to the Christian culture, but she had to come to a point where she made her faith her own.

As we function as a family here at church, we establish a culture that draws people to Christ. Most people need to belong before they believe.

Our family is not a microcosm of the society we live in. We actually are quite the opposite. We reflect the upside down Kingdom of heaven here on earth. When the world says divide, we unify. When the world says it’s hopeless, we see hope and new life for the broken. When the world dismisses, we accept. When the world says you’re a lost cause, we say you were worth dying for.

When we live as a family, the world will take notice. This is exactly what our world needs right now. They need to see a family function in unconditional love. They need to experience a family who cares deeply for each other. They need to know that there is still hope and they can still be a part of a family despite their brokenness.

3. He will cause our family to grow.

Each member of the family is called to grow in their individual walk with God. We each need to find our rhythms of grace that will draw us closer to our Father. We are each responsible for our place in the family and our own growth and maturity.

Every parent wants their child to grow. It is not normal for a child to stop growing when they’re three feet tall. We’re always so surprised by how quickly our son has grown into a young man, but we’d be even more surprised if he stopped. Being a part of the family means that we get to grow as sons and daughters in relationship with our Father.

But we also need to grow as brothers and sisters with each other. A healthy family spends time together. Enjoying each others’ company. Learning about each other. Sharing life together. In community we get to carry each other’s burdens, help provide for each other, pray for each other, and celebrate together.

Acts 2:42-47, “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

This is called the Fellowship of Believers, but to me it sounds like a family. The early church functioned more as a family than it did a church. They were called followers of the Way, and theirs was more of a movement than an establishment. An inward movement of growth to becoming more like Jesus, and an outward movement of community that looked more like family.

The times we see the movement gain momentum and grow is when the followers were scattered. When they were away from their own families and friends. Sometimes we can’t take church with us, which forces us to either isolate or find family.

Douglas was never supposed to be our “forever home.” It was a stop along the path. We were going to spend 2-3 years here. Max. We didn’t have any family here, or friends so to speak. Those 2-3 years turned into 5…then 6…and I quickly realized that if we were going to be planted here for longer than originally planned, I needed family. And God blessed us with family. People who stepped in to be sisters and brothers. Loved ones who became aunts and uncles to our kids. Now, we have amazing family in Montana and Colorado, but for the everyday things and needs, God gave us people who genuinely cared about us and loved us. When my father passed away, Pastor Frank quickly stepped in to be my spiritual father, not taking my dad’s place, but encouraging me on just like my dad would have done. Now that my mom lives up here part time, she has been enveloped into this beautiful mosaic we’ve created. She is Grandma to many. We’ve learned how to love together, grow together, grieve together and celebrate together. It’s a rare gift in this world, but I believe that we are just seeing the beginning of an extended family that will change this community.

4. Jesus will heal His family so we are made whole.

Division in a biological family can leave deep wounds. Those wounds become our identities. People function out of their brokenness. If they have been wounded because of broken family relationships, then they will pass that on to the next generation. The cycle of abuse goes from generation to generation because the wounds left by abuse are rarely dealt with and healed.

When we come into this place, when we’re in God’s presence and allowing His Word to penetrate our hearts, the Spirit will bring healing to our deepest wounds. Those who have been rejected will find healing when they know they belong here with us. Those who have been abused will find healing when they know this is a safe place. Those who have been hurt by other churches, or even by people here in this church can find healing when we learn to walk in grace and forgiveness.

Jesus’ purpose on earth was summed up in His first message at the Synagogue. When He was handed the ancient scroll of Isaiah and He read,

The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Luke 4:18-19

He still does all of these things today, in our midst, through our church family. If you have been hurt, there is healing. You’re welcome in this place.

Once we begin to receive healing from our wounds, we are then empowered to take all that we’ve experienced here into our extended families and spheres of influence. God can use the experiences you have in this family to redeem the brokenness in your own family.

Just like any family, there are many different dynamics in the Family of God that can lead to division. We are a family made up of imperfect people. We will have ample opportunity to practice unconditional love for those we are frustrated with. We will have to learn to walk in grace, allowing people to grow and walk out their journey with Christ.

We need to be aware that we still have an enemy who is ready and willing to divide and conquer if we give him the opportunity. He hates family, especially the family of God. But we will not let that happen to our family!

We are going to be diving into this idea of God’s family for a while and maybe today you’ve come and you’re thinking, I don’t know where I belong. I don’t know where my place is. Don’t worry, we will get there. For today, all you need to know is you’re welcome at our table. You have a place in the family. We don’t offer membership, we offer family. You don’t have to prove yourself worthy or acceptable. You just get to come as you are.

If you don’t have a family, you are welcome to be a part of ours. If your family has hurt you, you are welcome here. If you have hurt your family, you are welcome here. If you have been rejected by your family, you are welcome here. If you have a family, you’re welcome here.

Come taste and see that the Lord is good, as He weaves our hearts together to make a beautiful family out of broken people.

And just like your Thanksgiving pants are expandable, our family is expandable.