Holy Sex: the Holes in our Views of Sex
Holy Sex • Sermon • Submitted
0 ratings
· 25 viewsNotes
Transcript
Good morning!
Today, we begin a new sermon series entitled Holy Sex.
For the next several weeks, we will be looking at God’s wonderful, amazing, beautiful design for sex the act, and sex the gender.
We especially want to get to the pressing, relevant topics in our series of homosexuality as well as transgender issues.
And I realize these are not just theoretical issues. The issues of sex the act and sex the gender—impact all of us and people we know and love.
And of course, our goal is to solve all of this in 7 or 8 weeks of sermons.
Let me read a couple of passages that will set the tone for our sermon today.
The first is Genesis 2:18-25
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
We actually see the first place that sex the act shows up in vs. 24—and it shows up in marriage—and it shows up between one man and one woman in the context of a covenant and commitment of marriage.
now, let me read another passage in the NT — 1 Corinthians 6:12. 1 Cor. 6:12.
12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.
13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also.
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
pray?
I chose the words “holy sex” (not because of the old Batman series)— because the word holy describes who God is—and the kind of people He wants us to be because the Holy Spirit, God Himself lives in us as followers of Jesus.
That word holy for God—means 2 things:
He is absolutely perfect, absolutely pure, without any sin or blemish. (which is incredible!)
It means that God is set apart—He is unique—He is in a class all by himself in holiness, love, power, justice, righteousness. He is set apart—and absolutely beautiful.
When the Prophet Isaiah saw God high and lifted up in Isaiah 6, look at what the Bible says:
3 And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”
it is repeated 3x—holy, holy, holy! It’s important—and its connected with God’s glory!
and Isaiah has a response of brokenness—He is not like God.
He is not morally pure.
He is not like God. God has the right to do what He wants. and He calls us to be reflect His image....
and yet God doesn’t leave Isaiah there--
and yet God atones for his sin, calls him, equips him and shows him his grace and mercy — just like all of us through Christ. It is God who makes us holy through Christ and the cross, including our sexuality.
so how does this relate to our sex lives...
in every way.
You see sometimes we define holiness negatively what we can’t do (which is important by the way!) There are boundaries that the Bible gives us when it comes to sex and how we use it. We don’t do or think certain things.
but if you connect it to the vision of God’s stunning holiness...
it will be a call to what we can do.
That God being morally pure and perfect and awesome gives us a beautiful vision for what sex is and how to use it—not because He is mean and restrictive—but because He is absolutely good and knows what’s best for us.
In addition, if we pursue God’s vision of holy sex, we will flourish—we will discover the beauty of God’s grand design.
That His design is good and beautiful even if it is hard and we have to take up our cross and follow Jesus.
So that was all intro...
I want to contrast God’s vision of holiness for our sex lives with our culture’s view.
What does the culture teach us about sex: (and BTW—I am not talking about gender right now—but the act of sex).
and I call this sermon the “Holes in our View of Sex.” H-O-L-E-S.
Holes are dangerous—you fall in one you get hurt or die.
and these messages the culture is teaching us and preaching to us—not like I am preaching but our favorite series on Netflix, our favorite movie, commercials, social media—the culture is painting a picture of what the good life is—and it is sending these messages:
1st view:
“Sex is no big deal.”
It’s just sex.
It’s just biology. It’s a natural drive that must be fulfilled.
We actually see this cultural view in the Bible (remember there is nothing new under the sun).
13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
The church at Corinth was bombarded with this message.
Sex is like any other physical desire.
I get hungry—I eat.
I get tired—i sleep.
I have a sexual desire—I fulfill it. and so we see that they would go to one of the pagan temples and engage with sex with a prostitute—b/c It’s no big deal.
What’s the big deal.
Why does it matter who I sleep with? as long as we practice “safe sex”—we are ok. and this view btw is behind a lot of sex education efforts.
well first off, we as a culture actually contradict ourselves; we have all sorts of laws against rape, against sexual abuse. The #metoo movement showed this—that our sexual activity does matter.
And Biblically speaking
Look at vs. 13
13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
In fact, God cares so much about your body and what you do with it that He will raise it from the dead:
14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also.
He evens says your body is a member of Christ himself
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
—Paul reminds us that your body—is not meant for sexual immorality (that’s a catch all term that describes any type of sexual thought or behavior outside the context of marriage between a man and a woman). but instead for the Lord—b/c He made you; He created you.
and in vs. 15 he says “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?” Your body, when you become a Christian is under the control and power of Jesus.
vs. 16
16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”
that sex act of physical union just with a one time vision with a prostitute is more than just physical. that one flesh union is meant to be an expression of a union between a husband and wife—not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, financially, legally, spiritually.
the 2nd view we see in culture is:
View #2: “Sex is a huge deal.”
In other words—that sex is not just an act—no it is your very identity. It is a way you express yourself; sex is the way you “be yourself” and sex is the way you “find yourself”. and if you repress or hold back and don’t express it—you are not being the full expression of yourself; because “you are your sexuality.”
another way to say this view is that if you don’t express your sexual preferences—it will actually bring great harm to yourself.
in this view—sex becomes an idol—our identity.
if you are thinking critically—you will notice these first two views in our culture are very prevalent and also contradictory.
If you actually embrace these 2 views—you will experience whiplash as you are torn back and forth, back and forth— “It’s no big deal; it’s a big deal; it’s no big deal; it’s a big deal.”
so which is it!
I will say more on this later—but even though sex matters; it is not the biggest deal in your life. Nor is it your identity.
If you never have sex in your life…you are not less of a human being. You are not less fulfilled. How do I know this?
Because Jesus Christ, the Son of God Himself, who took on flesh—never had sex. Never was married. and I would argue He lived the most complete human life in all of human history.
I would also say that if you make your sexuality your identity—you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. a world of heartache. it’s not meant to be god in your life. Sex if it is your god will use you and abuse you and enslave you.
View #3: “I can do what I want to do. What I do in my bedroom or on my phone is my business.”
This is the idea that I can do what I want to do; You can’t tell me what to do. nor can God tell me what to do.
I have the right to do what I want to do—and why does it matter? B/c it’s not affecting anyone else.
Paul confronts this view
12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.
He pushes back in 2 ways--
not everything is beneficial—if you do what you want to do in your whole life and that bleeds in your sex life—it will not be beneficial. In fact, most people I have counseled who have just lived however they want to including in their sex lives—it has wreaked havoc and tremendous consequences.
the 2nd thing he says is “I will not be mastered by anything.”
Paul is saying—you may think you are doing what you want to do and you have freedom.
but actually—it is a form of slavery.
living for self, expressing your sex life like you want—is a form of slavery? yes!
When you are your own master doing what you want to do—you are a slave to yourself, your desires, your appetites
The Bible depicts that true freedom is living to our design.
our design is to live under the lordship of Jesus Christ to reflect the image of our God — his holiness and beauty, and while His way may seem oppressive…at first glance—where we deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him—it’s only true freedom.
in fact, Paul says—Jesus is the kind of Lord who is not oppressive—He bought us with his own blood.
20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
That kind of God is not oppressive or stifling—but freeing.
God calls us not to self-expression—but to self-denial.
and that this actually leads to true living…and finding ourselves.
23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.
View #4: “Sex is dirty but necessary.”
This may not be a cultural view as much of a church cultural view.
We don’t like to talk about sex.
it makes us uncomfortable.
I feel the uncomfortable-ness in this room.
And the church has a reputation for painting this that sex is dirty, it’s nasty, but necessary for having children.
But actually…according to the Bible
All through Genesis 1—God made everything, and God said it was good. this includes sex. Sex—the sexual act between a husband and wife is good and beautiful.
and certainly sin happened—and introduced all sorts of disastrous consequences—and all sorts of sexual immorality, one night stands, adultery, bestiality, homosexuality, orgies, rape, and more.
but still God’s desire for sex remains and is beautiful in the context of one man and one woman in the covenant and commitment of marriage in Genesis 2!
Just read the book of the Song of Songs! It’s hard to read that book without blushing—as it celebrates the love between a husband and wife—and there are descriptions in that book that only are describing a love scene between a husband and wife.
For instance, Song of Songs says this: this is the wife talking to the husband
10 My beloved is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand.
11 His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven.
12 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels.
13 His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh.
OT Scholar Temper Longman says about this passage—This passage is a prelude to their love-making as husband and wife. … There is no shame but only joy in each other’s sexuality.
Proverbs 5:18-19 says this
18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
It’s hard to get around that one.
Sex is beautiful in fact..
It is designed between one man and one woman in the context of marriage to do 3 things:
Look at Matthew 19:4-6
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Remember, the Bible calls that union of sex with a husband and wife one flesh. One pastor says it is a union between a husband and wife so profound that they virtually become a new single person (Tim Keller, Meaning of Marriage, chapter 8, page 225). “That language of being united means to make a binding covenant or contract. They merge into a single, legal, social, economic unit. They lose their independence and give themselves completely to each other.”
so what is the purpose of the act of sex in marriage:
1. In human marriage, sex is to express your covenant commitment to your spouse.
In other words, it is to express your complete unity and commitment to your spouse. “The Bible says don’t unite with someone physically unless you are willing to unite with the person emotionally, personally, socially, economically, and legally. Don’t become physically naked and vulnerable to the other person without becoming vulnerable in every other way because you have given up your freedom and bound yourself in marriage.”
2. In human marriage, sex is to renew your commitment to your spouse.
so once you have given yourself in marriage, the act of sex is a way of maintaining and deepening that union as the years go by.
For instance, God has a made a covenant with us — He is committed to us, and we as a church renew that covenant every time we take the Lord’s Supper—we are reminded that God gave himself to us through Christ, and we are to give ourselves exclusively to God when we eat the bread and drink the cup.
Similarly in marriage, sex is a way of renewing our covenant and commitment to each other. You are saying to your spouse, “I give my self completely permanently exclusively to you.”
so as one author says, “A covenant is necessary to have sex (marriage covenant), but sex is also necessary to maintain and renew that covenant in marriage.”
This is why you can’t just sleep around and have no consequences. If you just sleep around with others without marriage, you will feel strong ties to that person, but there is no covenant of marriage with its legal, economic, and social responsibility and safety, and it will lead to a world of hurt.
This is also why that in sex in marriage, because it such a vulnerable thing, you may find problems showing up in bed—I am not talking physical problems, but emotional and conflict problems with your spouse; as one author said, a Lack of sexual compatibility with your spouse may not be physical but there may be something deeper going on in the relationships—communication, conflict resolution.
3. Most of all — the act of sex points to the union we have with Christ.
17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
sex is meant to point us to the wonderful union we have with Christ now and will have with Christ some day.
There will be no need for marriage or sex in heaven (that may sound depressing for some) we won’t even have the desire—b/c we will be fully in the presence of Jesus Christ someday.
Jesus, gave himself wholly to us on the cross. He held nothing back to be commited to us. He delighted in giving himself for us.
The Christian view of sex is that in some ways—our sexual union with our spouse points to the union that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have together as one—adoring and glorifying each other.
It points to the union and intimacy we have with Christ.
It points to the idea that our union with Christ is not about us—but Christ—just as the act of sex is not about us but Christ.
The Christian view of sex—we don’t have all these boundaries on sex because we think too little of it—no, because we think so much of it—and God wants us to be holy as He is holy.
BTW—singles—this is why—you don’t have to have sex to have a fulfilled life—why? because theologically, biblically, you are already united to Christ. and even for married people—this is why sex is a big deal but not the biggest deal—but it points to our union with Jesus.
I want to end by this idea of holy...
Holy is beautiful.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
your holiness is like the beauty of a bride on her wedding day. (I do plenty of weddings—and I always tell the groom—nobody cares about you bud—the best moment is when the bride comes down the aisle, all radiant and beautiful—coming to her groom. At that moment, I love sneaking a peak at the groom. who is often a combination of smiling and crying all at the same time.
Well, Jesus the ultimate groom has died for us—the church, his bride—to make her holy, beautiful like that bride. That may not seem very manly men)
btw—that just goes to show if you have messed up big time in your sex life, slept around, thought, looked at, did things you shouldn’t—The Bible reminds us that we don’t make ourselves holy and complete—but we come to God the holy one—and He makes us holy and beautiful in His sight because Jesus Christ paid for our sin, and in Christ, we are spotless and beautiful and clean and forgiven.
Let’s pray
baptism class after 2nd service