The Christ Centered Family

Important Thoughts

As we dive into this series, I want to take a second to emphasis the importance of these upcoming discussions. Today I will share some thoughts on how to create a Christ-centered family. Next week we will discuss healthy sexuality. The following week we will learn to establish guardrails for technology. Then, Dr. Rich Palazzolo will be with us for “God Created Them Male and Female…Too Simple?”. We will end up finally on Mother’s Day with an encouragement to moms. (Send your questions to [e-mail])

The Christ Centered Family

Healthy Sexuality

Guardrails for Technology

God Created Them Male and Female - Dr. Rich Palazzolo

Mother’s Day

(send questions to [e-mail])

I feel completely unqualified for teaching about the family although I suppose that I have more qualifications than most:

· Have 2 of my own

· 4 grandkids

· Cindy and I raised them, launched them, and now are in the season of empty nesting

· I have taught over a thousand students

· I have administrated a preschool for 15 years

· I have been in ministry for over 25 years with direct input into children’s discipleship programs.

I suppose that should give me some credibility; but, still, the topic is challenging. However, it is rewarding and essential. I came across a statement earlier this week by a Sally Clarkson,

“We need to distinguish between a home that is considered Christian primarily because cultural Christianity happens there, and a home that is Christian because Christ is alive and present in real and authentic ways” – Sally Clarkson.

That is the challenge. There is no sense this morning in convincing you that the Christ-centered family is under attack but to say that it is dying is completely missing the truth. I believe that the Christ-centered is as strong as ever. I believe that families want to love one another and love God. They want to look forward to being together. They want to laugh, celebrate, work, grieve, and love together.

Not Perfect but in Pursuit of Perfection

There are certainly some things that we as parents would have done differently. We enter parenting with no experience and little of life’s experiences. But, as the Bible speaks to us, we find that we are not the only ones who were imperfect. The first 8 families of Bible describe families that are far from being perfect:

Adam and Eve – Cain kills Abel

Noah’s son, Ham, embarrasses his father and is cursed

Abram’s nephew, Lot, ends up in Sodom and Gomorrah

Abraham fathers Ishmael who is outcast and Isaac is the child of promise

Isaac favors his son Joseph who gets beaten and sold into slavery by his brothers

….the list goes on.

So, we are not here this morning to ‘Monday morning quarterback’ or talk about ‘woulda, coulda, or shoulda’s”. We are here to take an honest look at what the Bible has to say about creating Christ-centered homes. It is our business.

In 1 Timothy we see this expectation…

1 Timothy 3:4 NIV

He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.

1 Timothy 5:4 NIV

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.

So, we see the expectation of every Christian home. To achieve this, we need to create a Christ centered culture.

Steps for Building a Godly Home

I enjoy being at the homes of my children. I enjoy seeing the ways that they are training their children to love God and others. Many of the things that they do are more creative than Cindy and I were. They certainly have more resources available now then back in the day. But I also understand that they have the same demands and difficulties that we did.

For a few minutes this morning, I’d like to give you some tools to help you as you create a Christ centered culture in your home.

Worship God Without Rivals

A lot of things compete for God’s position on the throne of our hearts. In our American culture, we serve the idols of convenience, entertainment, prosperity and self. These things get in the way of truly honoring God and receiving His blessings over our homes and families.

Do we desire vegging out with Netflix more than renewing our minds with Scripture? Do we favor quick fixes rather than putting in the hard work of consistently discipling and training our children? Are we too focused on the short-term goals of financial gain and “me time” instead of the things that will last for eternity? If we want to truly live out Joshua 24:15, we must remove what takes the place of God’s rule in our house.

Practice Biblical Love

Biblical love is not that romantic, emotional love we see portrayed in Hollywood movies. It is driven to action. It is unconditional. It is the same kind of love Jesus demonstrated for you and for me at the Cross.

To practice the definition of biblical love in our homes, we should look no further than 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When we apply this verse to the treatment of our spouses and children, we win their hearts to Christ and peace will reign inside our homes.

Esteem the Bible

About 150 years ago, Charles Spurgeon was deeply concerned about the changes that were occurring in Christian culture. He saw parents increasingly delegating the spiritual training of their children to the church, rather than taking the lead at home. In his article, “The Kind of Revival We Need,” he wrote:

“We deeply want a revival of family religion. The Christian family was the bulwark of godliness in the days of the puritans, but in these evil times hundreds of families of so-called Christians have no family worship, no restraint upon growing sons, and no wholesome instruction or discipline. How can we hope to see the kingdom of our Lord advance when His own disciples do not teach His gospel to their own children? Oh, Christian men and women, be thorough in what you do and know and teach. Let your families be trained in the fear of God and be yourselves ‘holiness unto the Lord’; so shall you stand like a rock amid the surging waves of error and ungodliness which rage around us.”[1]

We are so quick to run to parenting websites, advice of friends, or the latest book when we’re experiencing turmoil in our families. But what does the Bible say? It needs to be clear to our kids that the Bible is the ultimate authority in our home.

As we form the basic principles for our family, all of our beliefs, ethics, and rules must stem from Scripture. Our methods of discipline, our stances on cultural controversies, and our view of humanity can be centered around God’s redemptive story.

Our children need to know that truth is unchanging, secure, and pure. That truth doesn’t come from Facebook, popular opinion, or even past family tradition, but from the Word of God. By referring our children to the Bible in everything we do, esteeming it and applying it, we show that it is sufficient to answer the deepest questions of life.

This especially includes upholding God’s design for marriage and gender as outlined in Genesis. We cannot compromise His truth but must preserve it so that order is established in our homes.

Commit to a Biblical Worldview

In his sermon to the Israelites before entering the Promised Land, where he tells them to love and obey the Lord, Moses immediately follows this with a command to saturate their children with the same teaching. We can teach God’s law and works to our kids both formally, through a daily routine of Bible reading, and informally (Deuteronomy 6:6).

With all the moments available to us throughout the day, we can these unplanned opportunities to pour the Word of God into our children.

We can also intentionally talk about what the Bible says during family meals, car rides or walks, when we’re putting our kids to bed, and when they’re getting ready in the morning.

Psalm 139:17 NIV

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!

Having a biblical worldview (how we make sense of the world around us) involves thinking the way God thinks. If we’re continually filling our minds and our children’s minds with media that portrays an anti-biblical worldview, we will eventually be conformed to this world.

We are the gatekeepers of our homes and have authority from God to deny entrance into that space. Every Netflix show, iPad App, YouTube video- and even friend- that enters our home must go through us first. What are we allowing in? We have a responsibility to protect our children from the enemy’s attempts to access their hearts and minds.

DECORATE WITH REMINDERS OF GOD’S PROMISES

One of the most repeated commands in the Bible is to remember. Remember what God has done. Remember who He is. Remember that He is with you. But we’re quick to forget. One way to fight against our forgetful minds is to repeat Scripture.

In Deuteronomy 9, the Israelites were instructed to write God’s commands on the doorposts of their homes. Nowadays, this can be accomplished by adorning our houses with scriptures that speak of His love, truth, grace, and faithfulness. Personally, I think that the Progressive commercial that shows a man removing excessive pillows from couches, avoiding books on submarines (“Who else reads those books?” “My dad”), and removing signs with popular sayings like “Live, Love, Laugh” are hilarious. However, Disney, Coca Cola, Nike, and TikTok are not going to stop branding – don’t you stop communicating your values to your children and your children’s children!

Fill their minds with books, shows and music that help them fix their eyes on things above. This is why this church invests in Right Now Media and make it available to you for free.

Fill Your Home with Praise and Worship

There is something about the power of music. When that music is full of Scripture and centers us on the truth of God’s Word, it is even more powerful! It reminds us of who we are with respect to God, sets our focus on the right things, and helps us commit truth to memory.

Get an inexpensive instrument set for your kids and let them make a joyful noise. Gather everyone together for family worship, where bonds will be forged. Whether it’s contemporary praise & worship, traditional hymns, catchy children’s tunes like “Our God Is So Big”, or Scripture memory songs, play them in your home often.

Pray the Scripture Over Your Children

My friend Lee Williams lost his family when the church bus was hit in the hills of Kentucky by a drunk driver who was on the wrong side of the divided highway. In an instant his entire family was gone. He was devastated but trusted in the Lord. His story is similar to Job’s in that the Lord restored to him ‘family’ with a new bride and several adopted children. He adores them just as he adored his first family. When Lee tells the story of the tragedy and then the miraculous restoration that now includes several grandchildren Lee is sure to point out that each morning he takes time to pray for each of his kids and grandkids and call them out by name.

There is a very real battleground for your home and for the hearts and minds of your children. Prayer is our greatest weapon against the enemy’s strongholds in their lives. When we pray Scripture for our kids, we are praying God’s very own words for them! We are fighting in the spiritual battle right alongside them, appropriating God’s power on their behalf.

We can pray that our children would love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, be convicted of their sin and lead to genuine repentance and stand firm on God’s truth in a culture that lies to them. Our children need prayer for protection, obedience, spiritual growth, interactions with their siblings and friends, and the ability to show kindness and forgiveness.

Model Joyful Service and Hospitality

We should serve our husbands and children with a joyful heart, not begrudgingly.

Proverbs 14:1 NIV

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

When we act like our closest neighbors are an inconvenience or interruption, we are destroying our homes and not able to practice true hospitality.

Hospitality should be a natural extension of the service you’re already demonstrating within the walls of your home.[2]

Happy Home Rules

Rule #1 – Joshua 24:15 “…as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.”

Harmony - We love you for who you are. We cooperate together out of respect for one another. This brings peace and love.

Productive - Benefits require work: you are expected to do chores without being asked.

Respect – You are in this home out of relationship and kindness of the owners. Be genuinely respectful in word and deed. Don’t mess with the king or the king’s queen ;>)

Value – You appreciate things more if it costs you something. Rent will be paid each month. Common sense says that you can bring groceries home from time to time to help out.

Responsibility – Adults are responsible for their things. Keep areas clean by cleaning up after yourselves. Rooms should be cared for and kept clean.

Love - ‘Agape’ love is the kind of love that builds a marriage and family. It means to prefer one another in love.

Soon you will be on your own and understand these things even more.

A Christ Centered Home Prospers!

You may remember this story from the days of King David. The Ark of the Covenant represented the presence of the Lord in Israel. When Israel rebelled against God the enemy would come and take the Ark away. Well, in this case the Philistines had taken it but David recovers it as he begins his rule. On the way back to Jerusalem the Ark stayed in the home of Obededom for three months. The book of 2 Samuel tells us that “the LORD blessed Obededom, and all his household.”

When we create a Christ Centered Culture in our homes, it is as though the Ark of the Covenant is there blessing us. The name Obed-edom means “servant of God” which brings us back to our beginning,

1 Timothy 3:4 NIV

He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.

[1] Rienow, Rob. “Family Worship: The Heart of the Christian Home”. www.influencemagazine.com . Accessed April 5, 2021.

[2] “9 Steps for Building a Godly Home”. www.calledtomothering.com . Accessed April 5, 2021.