20.1.12a - Matthew 5:27-30 - Overcoming Lust

We have been working our way through the Sermon on the Mount and listening to Jesus describe his people. One of the phrases used to describe those who are blessed in Jesus' kingdom is "poor in spirit." This is a mindset of one who sees their sin and understands how unworthy they are to receive the blessings of God. Before we begin the topic that we will cover this morning, I want to emphasize that every Christian here has struggled with many sins in their life, and all of us are still struggling with something. The Christian life is not a life without struggle, but a life that is willing to struggle to be holy and righteous before God. We realize that Jesus also calls us the salt and light of the world. We are a city on a hill that is intended to shine for all to see God's glory. This means that we are supposed to be overcoming those struggles with sin and become more righteous than the most religious people we know.

A couple of weeks ago, we talked about anger. I hope that battle is going well for you. Today we are going to talk about overcoming lust. We did not hold anything back when discussing anger, and I intend to be open and honest about this topic as well. I imagine that if a man every gets up here and says that they have never struggled with lust, no one would listen to him. God has helped me overcome this issue for the most part, as I hope and pray he will do for anyone else here who is struggling with it.

Adultery (5:27-28)

Matthew 5:27--28 (ESV) --- 27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Jesus begins by, once again, pointing to the teaching in the law that is taught, "You shall not commit adultery." But Jesus wants everyone to focus on another part of the law, which condemns coveting the neighbor's wife (Exo 20:17). He says that one who just looks at a woman who is not his wife with any kind of lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Once again, he takes a big commandment, and he makes it equivalent to a seemingly lesser commandment. Do we believe this?

But Jesus says here that it's not okay to look with lustful intent because you are already committing adultery in your heart. Notice the wording here. Someone married has no right to lust after another. When we look at a person of the opposite sex, our feelings may be aroused. That is perfectly normal and natural, but what do we do at that point? We stop looking. If we sense those feelings, we have to look away and demonstrate self-control over our eyes. Jesus says that if we do not look away, we are already committing adultery in our hearts. Does that shock us? How easy is it for us to keep looking or to have inappropriate thoughts?

If there is someone here today who is an unbeliever, I might have just said all kinds of things that justify your unbelief. You might think, "Christians like this are ridiculous. This is why I don't go to church or believe this mess." Is lust really okay? For the last fifty years, society has been pushing us to worship sex with advertisements, movies, and acceptance of sexual immorality. We now live in a world where saying that sex of any kind is wrong makes you a bad person. It's almost like the world sees an appetite for sex as the same as our appetite for food. Surely, we can see that sex is not so shallow and meaningless as a common meal. The passions and pleasures of sex are stronger than a common meal. Why? Sex is intended to be shared with another person. Worshipping sex has not helped our society or improved our relationships. It has only made it worse.

We have taken the consumerism that we love so much in our materialistic world and applied that to sex. Our minds have been reshaped to look at people as though they are objects that we can use to find pleasure. Do we see how wrong that is? Pornography and fantasy have warped our thinking about people. Does anyone watching ever stop to think about the men and women who are engaged in these fantasy scenes? That is someone's daughter, son, mother, father, husband, or wife. There is no concern for who that person is. We are taking the person out of the equation and commanding that they perform to our satisfaction. No wonder crime is out the roof! No wonder families are continually being destroyed! This is why we throw away our spouses when they fail to meet our desires. We aren't pursuing the person but the feeling they could give us. When they fail to provide what we want, we throw them away like a broken toy.

God can see what is going on in our hearts and minds. He knows every single thought and intention. So God knows if our heart is desiring the wife of someone else or a woman other than our wife. By this measure, we could apply this to any form of sexual immorality. Desiring to be with someone who is not your spouse is revealing an unfaithful heart.

How Can We Overcome? (29-30)

Matthew 5:29--30 (ESV) --- 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Listen to how important Jesus considers this to be. He says, "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away." There may be some in the audience who would say, "Jesus, I can't stop thinking those thoughts. I need to think those thoughts in order to feel pleasure. Life without lust is not worth living!" Maybe we have been justifying our sin because "it's not like we actually slept with anyone." Jesus says that the rebellion in our hearts will result in eternal suffering. Some of us might hear that and be tempted to throw our hands up in the air and quit. But is it worth eternal suffering? Sexual temptation is a nightmare for many people, but Jesus tells us how to overcome it.

Drastic Measures

He says we have to make decisions to separate from things we are attached to. He mentions tearing out our eye or cutting off our right hand. This would be extremely difficult to do in the first century, especially. But do you think that people in hell would have gladly given up an eye and a hand to prevent sexual immorality and escape hell? As painful as it would be to tear out an eye that causes you to sin or to cut off a hand that causes you to sin, it is better to do that than to go to hell. This is hyperbole, but Jesus makes a critical point. He expects us to take drastic measures to overcome this sin. He does not overlook this because it is difficult. What does this represent for us?

Separate From Dehumanizing Attitudes

For most of us, lust comes when our attitude toward sex resembles the consumerism of the world. No one is a tool to be used for pleasure. He or she is a person to be loved and connected to on an emotional and spiritual level by someone who is lawfully bound to them in marriage. If we are selfishly seeking pleasure and satisfaction without first connecting to the other person, we are falling into the trap of the world. We are dehumanizing people. When we look at our spouse, we must realize that until we have cultivated the relationship of the mind, heart, and soul, we cannot get into the physical relationship. He or she is a person, not a tool. Do we really love our neighbor? The physical relationship is a pouring out of the emotional and spiritual intertwining that is proper in marriage.

I remember working at Stanley Steemer when I was in High School and college. I would be in a van with someone else for at least three hours. Some of those guys were pretty rough around the edges. They would lust after women, and they would talk about them like they were objects. I remember telling one guy who was the worst, "You shouldn't be doing that." He responded by saying, "It's okay to look, as long as you don't touch." This thirty year old married man has essentially taken the slogan I have heard as a child in the toy store and applied it to women. He wasn't the only one with this attitude. It was rampant. This was the attitude of boys on my Basketball team growing up. These married adults were no different.

Separate From The Idol

But more than that, we have to take sexual pleasure off of the throne of our hearts. If we aren't married, we might pursue a spouse for the physical without considering the mind, heart, and soul of the person. This is dangerous and will only lead to pain and suffering for both of you because selfishness kills marriages. I have known many young men who can't wait to get married. They struggle to overcome the desires for sexual pleasure, and they think that marriage will solve everything. I was that way to some extent. I would think, "Now, all of my wants, needs, and fantasies will be met." Many of us believe that a spouse is supposed to fill the god-sized hole in our hearts. All of the dreams and desires will be fulfilled. It never works that way. Just like buying a new car, we get tired of the feeling and we want more. Maybe our expectations are beyond what our spouse can offer, or perhaps our spouse's beauty fades. One way or another, we will be empty.

That physical desire can become more important than anything else to us. Lusting after sexual pleasure can become an idol outside of marriage or inside of marriage, and it fails us as all idols do. Sexual pleasure can be lifted up as the most critical thing in our lives, but it will not provide more than it was created to provide. We have to lower it to its proper place as one of many blessings to be used properly.

Understand the Proper Place of Sex

One more thing that I want to point out is that Jesus does not say lusting after a spouse is adulterous or wrong in any way. No scripture gives that impression. In fact, it gives us the opposite impression. Listen to what the Proverb writer says...

Proverbs 5:15--23 (ESV) --- 15 Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. 16 Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. 20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? 21 For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. 22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. 23 He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.

I want to say that it is excellent to be passionately in love with a spouse, and it is possible to build that passion even after we think it is lost. In Genesis, we see that God created male and female to provide some amount of fulfillment for one another, but we cannot let it become more than it was designed to be. Song of Solomon shows us that sex inside the marriage relationship is acceptable as we studied last Sunday night. The Hebrew writer backs this up in Hebrews 13:4 (ESV) --- 4 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."

Conclusion

Do we want to be like God? Do we hunger and thirst after righteousness? We have to stop killing and committing adultery in our hearts. We have to love our neighbor. Sex is a blessing from God to be enjoyed by a husband and wife. The passions and pleasures are supposed to be the result of spiritual and emotional intertwining. Lusting after someone who is not your spouse is selfish, often dehumanizing, and very destructive to our relationships. It is not okay to look, as long as we don't touch. Flee lustful thoughts, and pursue purity of mind and righteousness thinking. Take your computer into the living room for all to see. Give up privacy and secrets. Let go of friends of the opposite sex that you are too close to. God sees our thoughts and will consider the one who pursues lustful thoughts to be worthy of judgment. Repent before it's too late.

If these words of Jesus have crushed you, I promise that you are not alone. God knows how our heart is responding to this. He knows if we want God more than pleasure. He knows every weakness inside of us. He knew those weaknesses before sending Jesus. He knew the sexual impurities in us, and he sent Jesus anyway. Why? He was hoping that we would see his sacrifice and his love then respond by becoming living sacrifices for him.