Forgiveness: When It’s Hard to Forgive
Forgiveness: The Pathway To Freedom • Sermon • Submitted
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Forgiveness When It’s Hard to Forgive
2 Timothy 4:9-18
INTRODUCTION:
Over the last couple of months, we’ve been looking at the topic of forgiveness. And we’ve seen how forgiveness is an essential component to the Christian life and is one of the most fundamental, the most crucial, and the most basic way in which we are like Christ and give evidence of the validity of the Christian faith to a watching world.
We’ve spent some time discussing myths that are often believed about forgiving. Ideas like:
If we truly forgive, we must forget.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are the same thing.
Forgiveness means we automatically quit hurting or talking about what happened to us.
As a reminder:
Forgiveness is the act of releasing someone from the debt owed because of a sin committed against you.
However, I think there’s another myth that we sometimes believe.
Forgiveness is the resolution that guarantees a happy ending to our story.
There is still a big question that we need to answer:
What about forgiving when it’s hard?
What if the person has not asked for forgiveness?
What about forgiving when the pain is ongoing and the person committing the sin not only refuses to repent but continues to harm us?
What if the person who harmed us is dead?
What about forgiving when what was taken from us is irreplaceable?
As I thought about this topic, some Scriptural examples began to come to mind of difficult circumstances for forgiveness.
In our text, the Apostle Paul recounts some extreme situations that he had to deal with.
2 Timothy 4:9-18
9 Timothy, please come as soon as you can.
10 Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus has gone to Dalmatia.
11 Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.
12 I sent Tychicus to Ephesus.
13 When you come, be sure to bring the coat I left with Carpus at Troas. Also bring my books, and especially my papers.
14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, but the Lord will judge him for what he has done.
15 Be careful of him, for he fought against everything we said.
16 The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them.
17 But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me from certain death.
18 Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.
Remember:
Forgiveness is never easy or cheap.
Forgiveness is costly and comes at a price to the one who forgives.
Anger and bitterness will never free nor protect us.
Anger makes poor armor.
Emotional, psychological and spiritual healing are only available by following Christ’s way- forgiveness is the pathway to freedom!
I- FOLLOW THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS
I- FOLLOW THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS
A- Recognize the sin committed against you and address the pain it has caused.
A- Recognize the sin committed against you and address the pain it has caused.
1- As he writes the young pastor Timothy, Paul recounts the pain inflicted by some people.
a. Demas had forsaken Paul at the time of Paul’s most critical need (2 Timothy 4:10)
10 Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus has gone to Dalmatia.
ἐγκατέλιπεν = “to forsake, abandon, leave in straits, or helpless,”
b. Alexander the Coppersmith had sought to intentionally harm Paul (2 Timothy 4:14 a)
14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm, but the Lord will judge him for what he has done.
c. Many other people had abandoned (ἐγκατέλιπον) Paul (2 Timothy 4:16a)
16 The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them.
B- Remember the gospel and God’s forgiveness given to you.
B- Remember the gospel and God’s forgiveness given to you.
1- Paul remembered the source of his strength: the grace and presence of Christ! (2 Timothy 4:17)
17 But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me from certain death.
2- Paul remembered the forgiveness given to him by God and other believers.
(1 Corinthians 15:9)
9 For I am the least of all the apostles. In fact, I’m not even worthy to be called an apostle after the way I persecuted God’s church.
(Acts 9:1-2, 10-15, 26-28)
1 Meanwhile, Saul was uttering threats with every breath and was eager to kill the Lord’s followers. So he went to the high priest.
2 He requested letters addressed to the synagogues in Damascus, asking for their cooperation in the arrest of any followers of the Way he found there. He wanted to bring them—both men and women—back to Jerusalem in chains.
10 Now there was a believer in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a vision, calling, “Ananias!” “Yes, Lord!” he replied.
11 The Lord said, “Go over to Straight Street, to the house of Judas. When you get there, ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is praying to me right now.
12 I have shown him a vision of a man named Ananias coming in and laying hands on him so he can see again.”
13 “But Lord,” exclaimed Ananias, “I’ve heard many people talk about the terrible things this man has done to the believers in Jerusalem!
14 And he is authorized by the leading priests to arrest everyone who calls upon your name.”
15 But the Lord said, “Go, for Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel.
26 When Saul arrived in Jerusalem, he tried to meet with the believers, but they were all afraid of him. They did not believe he had truly become a believer!
27 Then Barnabas brought him to the apostles and told them how Saul had seen the Lord on the way to Damascus and how the Lord had spoken to Saul. He also told them that Saul had preached boldly in the name of Jesus in Damascus.
28 So Saul stayed with the apostles and went all around Jerusalem with them, preaching boldly in the name of the Lord.
3- Paul realized that he could trust in the Lord to help him in the future. (2 Timothy 4:18)
18 Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.
C- Release the person from the debt they owe you.
C- Release the person from the debt they owe you.
1- Paul prayed to the Lord, releasing the debt of those who have hurt him. (2 Timothy 4:16 b)
16 The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them.
D- Relinquish your resentment and bitterness toward them
D- Relinquish your resentment and bitterness toward them
1- Even though Paul admitted the pain these people caused him, the tone of verses 16-18 indicate that his faith in God’s provision allowed him to let go of the resentment and bitterness and move on with his work. (2 Timothy 4:16-18)
16 The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them.
17 But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me from certain death.
18 Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen.
II- FIND THE PEACE OF FORGIVENESS THROUGH PRAYER
II- FIND THE PEACE OF FORGIVENESS THROUGH PRAYER
A- Make the first step of forgiveness by talking to the Lord about the issue.
A- Make the first step of forgiveness by talking to the Lord about the issue.
1- The choice to forgive can and must be made in prayer when circumstances are the most difficult.
a- Stephen took this step in his most critical circumstance (Acts 7:59-60)
59 As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”
60 He fell to his knees, shouting, “Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!” And with that, he died.
B- Pray about the issue of forgiveness until the healing comes.
B- Pray about the issue of forgiveness until the healing comes.
1- Jesus taught that we are to pray and not give up until the answer comes.
Story of the widow and the unjust Judge (Luke 18:1-8)
C- Pray for the person who needs forgiveness.
C- Pray for the person who needs forgiveness.
(Matthew 5:44)
44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
(Luke 6:28)
28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.
1- What if the person hasn’t asked for forgiveness?
Remember that forgiveness is a matter of grace. God extended grace before we sought it.
(Romans 5:6-8)
6 When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners.
7 Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good.
8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
Remember: Forgiveness isn’t the same as reconciliation.
2- What if this person who harmed me is dead?
No way to bring closure.
No way to confront.
No way to reconcile.
The tendency to canonize a dead person. (Some people even believe it’s wrong or sinful to talk badly about the dead.) This leads to internalizing the guilt for anything they’ve done.
Walk through the process of forgiveness. (This act is freeing for you.)
3- What if the person is still seeking to hurt you?
This may be the hardest situation of all.
Forgiveness acknowledges sin for what it is, but chooses to respond to sin in the same way that God does.
(Matthew 5:43-48)
43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy.
44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.
46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much.
47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.
48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.
16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him.
19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation.
20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
21 For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
CONCLUSION:
A- Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a choice and a process.
Forgiveness can be difficult - sometimes more than others.
The process of forgiveness is the pathway to freedom regardless of the difficulty of the circumstances.
Bullpen:
