Godly Treatment of Wives - 1 Peter 3:7

1 Peter  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)

Introduction:

Unfortunately, it is relatively undisputed that many men have mistreated women over the years.
Also, unfortunate, is that Christian men have taken the concept of submission and demanded it of their wives even to the point of verbal abuse, and in some cases even physical abuse. This is an absolute tragedy.
Equally unfortunate is the reality is that the testimony of Christ has been tainted in the minds of many who have wrongly assumed that mistreatment is part of the teachings of Christ.
But the fact is, Christ never mistreated women, in fact elevated them, protected them, paid attention to them, and held them in high regard.

Proposition: Husbands must treat their wives in a godly manner.

Interrogative: What is a does godly treatment look like?

I. Husbands engage their wives according to knowledge

7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding,

A. Contextual considerations: Likewise

After explaining the role of the wife as submission, Peter wants to make sure that this role is not abused.
A man’s nature is often to “check out” whenever possible, and a preoccupation with vocation and hobbies is common.
So while the wife is submitting, the husband can just simply exist with no meaningful relationship, and this is not God’s way.
Peter wanted husbands to be mindful of their own responsibility

B. The general term, “knowledge”

Knowledge of God-given purposes and principles of marriage
Knowledge of your wife
desires
goals
frustrations
needs
strengths and weakness (both emotional and physical)
Ephesians 5:28–29 (NKJV)
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
1, 2 Peter, Jude (4) Husbands, Live Knowledgeably with Your Wives (3:7)

The participle synoikountes should be understood as an imperative.171 Most English versions translate the verse so that husbands are exhorted to be considerate and kind in their relationship with their wives.172 Such a reading is not incorrect, but it shifts the focus slightly away from the meaning of the text. I understand the phrase “according to knowledge” (kata gnōsin), like “in fear” (literal translation) in 3:2 and “conscious of God” in 2:19, to refer to the relationship of husbands to God.173 Husbands, then, should live together with wives informed by the knowledge of God’s will, of what he demands them to do.174 The wife is described here as the “weaker vessel” (NASB; asthenesterō skeuei).175 The word “vessel” can also refer to men (Acts 9:15; cf. Rom 9:21–23),176 and the comparative form suggests that women are weaker than men.177 In what sense are women “weaker”? Nothing else in the New Testament suggests that women are intellectually inferior,178 nor is it clear that women are weaker emotionally, for in many ways the vulnerability of women in sharing their emotions and feelings demonstrates that they are more courageous and stronger than men emotionally. Nor did Peter suggest that women are weaker morally or spiritually than men.179 Such a view would suggest that men are actually better Christians than women, which is not taught elsewhere in the Scriptures, nor is it evident in history. The most obvious meaning, therefore, is that women are weaker than men in terms of sheer strength.180 Peter used the word for “female” or “woman” (gynaikeios) rather than “wife.”181 He directed attention to what is uniquely feminine about women, pointing husbands to the knowledge that God would require them to have of the female sex.

Transition: The husband, though he is the head, needs to understand the value of his wife and treat her with value.

II. Husbands should honor their wives

“giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life”

A. The Concept of Honor

1. Showing value
2. A precious gem

B. The Considerations (2)

Weaker vessel
What is more valuable - a tough clay pot, or a fine piece of fragile china
The woman is not less valuable just because she is physically weaker
Not intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually weaker
Because emotions are tied to physiology, it could include emotional weaknesses.
1 Peter: An Introduction and Commentary 2. Husbands: Live Considerately with Your Wives (3:7)

that God is often pleased to give honour to those who are weaker or less honoured in the eyes of the world (cf. Matt. 5:3–12; 1 Cor. 1:26–30; 12:22–25; Jas 2:5; 4:6; 1 Pet. 5:5). In

Matthew 5:3–10 (NKJV)
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
James 2:5 (NKJV)
5 Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?
1 Peter 5:5 (NKJV)
Submit to God, Resist the Devil
5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for
God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”
2. Equal in Value - heirs together of the grace of life
a. Like siblings
1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)
A Word to Husbands
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Ephesians 3:6–7 (NKJV)
6 that the Gentiles should be fellow heirs, of the same body, and partakers of His promise in Christ through the gospel, 7 of which I became a minister according to the gift of the grace of God given to me by the effective working of His power.
Hebrews 11:9–10 (NKJV)
9 By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise; 10 for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.
b. Grace of life
1 Peter 1:4–5 (NKJV)
4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
1, 2 Peter, Jude (4) Husbands, Live Knowledgeably with Your Wives (3:7)

A husband who lives according to God’s requirement shows “respect” (timēn) for his wife (and by extension to all women).182 The reason he does so is that women are “heirs with you of the gracious gift of life,” showing that women are fundamentally equal with men.183 Bechtler says that the admonition to husbands to honor their wives is unique in Greco-Roman literature.184 The language of heirs points toward the eschatological gift (cf. 1:4; 3:9) that both men and women who believe will receive on the last day.185 Men should honor women because they share the same destiny—an eternal inheritance in God’s kingdom.186 Any suggestion that women will receive a lesser reward is repudiated. The “life” in the phrase “gift of life” should be understood eschatologically (cf. 3:10), referring to the life that will be ours in the coming age.187

Transition:

III. Husbands should realize the connection between God and their wives.

that your prayers may not be hindered.
A. Our relationship to the Lord, depends in part to the relationship we have with our wives.
B. Our relationship
1 Peter 3:10–12 (NKJV)
10 For
He who would love life
And see good days,
Let him refrain his tongue from evil,
And his lips from speaking deceit.
11 Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
1, 2 Peter, Jude (4) Husbands, Live Knowledgeably with Your Wives (3:7)

Husbands who ignore such a command will find that their prayers are hindered, which means that God will refuse to answer their prayers. God does not bless with his favor those who are in positions of authority and abuse those who are under them by mistreating them.188 Perhaps this verse anticipates v. 12, where the Lord attends to the prayers of the righteous but turns away from those who practice evil.

Concluding Applications:

1. God wants us to actively engage with our wives rather than passively exist with them.
2. God wants us to demonstrate how much we value our wives.
3. God wants us to understand that mistreatment of our wives will result in hindrance to our prayers.
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