Relationship Goals
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Context and Frame Sermon
Context and Frame Sermon
We are in a new series called “Hot Topics” = 2 Week topic on Relationships and Marriage.
We have been talking about Dying to self, killing off our flesh and moving toward a character of Christ - How do we die to ourselves in our marriages and in our relationships?
Kids in here | Bedroom doesn’t mean Bedroom
Let me ask this, who wants to be a better husband?
Who wants to be a better wife?
Who wants to be a follower of Christ?
In this culture we have a a different perception of “Better” and it doesn’t always mean “Godly”.
We have this idea that if we are a “better” husband or a “better” wife, then we will be loved more, our relationship will somehow be “better” and the measure that we use is wrong, we have the wrong instruction manual for our marraige.
What are we measuring our marriage against? Is it Love actually(the movie), or is it the Word of God?
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
Most issues is when we don’t hold WORD OF GOD, as the AUTHORITY over our lives | Not the time to turn to your significant other and say “see, live by...” | Let me be clear, your obligation to be a good husband, between you and God
If we live by the PRINCIPLES OF GOD, we will avoid a lot of PROBLEMS OF LIFE. | Not less attacks from enemy
Car and Manual - When something goes wrong with your car, what do we do? Who goes to manual? What does the Mechanic do? Listen, Goes straight to the problem, fixes it
DIY DAD | Emotionally, Spiritually bankrupt that our marriage, relationships suffer, when we could have gone to creator
Time for Relationship Goals
2 Relationship Goals
Christ Centered | Covenent Keeping
Let’s go to Genesis 2
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
**Talk about our Marriage**
We serve God together, we have a rich spiritual life together. Pray…Go to the Bedroom, Love, Laugh, She is my Rock, after a long day…When she is moody…When we walk together...
But before you Gag.
We have a Journey…Challenges…Hardships…Complete Integrity, Emma can be really stubborn.
I can be demanding, controlling, harsh.
Miscommunications, hurt feelings, intense conversations with Passion
We fight about…Disciplining the Children, Emma gaurds the kitchen like a rugby player, We fight over what to do after Church, We fight over Schools, extra cirricular activities, last time we fought though emma came crawling to me…on her hands and knees...
But we have some Relationship Goals. We want our Marriage to be: Christ Centered, Covenent Keeping - What do we mean?
When Christ Centered, you will be come Mission Driven (TOGETHER), Devil Kicking (Together), Covenent Keeping
Marriage has to be centered around something;
Yourself: Self-Centered
Kids: You won’t know your spouse in 20 years
Money, Success, career, image - It will not make you happy, it will force you to look for “THE ONE”
Illustration of THE ONE
“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.
God is number 1.
If Christ number 2 and Wife number 1 | You will fear Wife more than God | Tough Position because Man has been elevated above God = Cannot pass the LOVE God has given you, toward your wife, you are REACTING, not LOVING.
Do not need another person to complete you | Christ Completes you | Instead of saying “Met the one..”
Christ is your number 1 | When marriage is centered around Jesus, lives are centered around Jesus, God can then use us, and our MARRIAGE for his Purpose
You will read the scriptures around loving your wife like Christ loves the Church COMPLETELY differently | Between you and GOD
this is why when you Marry someone, it’s always a 3 way relationship - it has to be a deep covenant between, you, your wife, and God.
Love Actually says: It’s between a Man and a Woman
Actually Love says: It’s between a Man, A woman and God.
So what is a “Covenenant Keeping” Relationships.
There are 3 types of Marriages or Relationships | Casual | Contractual | Covenetal
You know this is good, 3 C’s.
Let’s Unpack these
What is a Casual Marriage? or Relationship?
Do things as a married couple, even though your not married, you find someone their great, all the love songs make sense, move in, doesn’t work, move out
Repeat
Repeat + Marry - Same but with a peice of paper
Then divorce, why? We have practiced it
It’s casual.
Contractual Marriage:
What’s wrong with a contract? it’s based on Mutual Distrust | Entering a deal | We are shaking on it | Trading ideas | Protect each other…as long as you live up to your end of the bargain
Love actually says: “He should treat you better” “You deserve better” “Why do you let him treat you like that” “Where is the SPARK”
Actually love says:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Actually Love says: Love your Wives like Christ Loves the Church.
ACtually Love says it’s not about her...
We get to our 3rd way - Covenental Marriage
Not motivated by Self love or love actually | but Actually Love
How did they keep a covenent back in Jesus’ Day?
Kill a Bull | Walk around 7 times | Say, if I don’t keep my end of bargain...
Back in the Hebrew Wedding | Priest take a knife | Cut bride and groom hands | Join them | Then they would depart for a time | go to HUPPA | They go alone | In theory, Virgin Groom enter the Virgn Bride | Physically they become 1 flesh | Physically representing what has happened Spiritually
Young Couple | People would wait about 2 minutes | Party back on
I want you to embrace this though, take to heart Marriage matters to GOD.
Love Making is important to GOD.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
It’s complicated | it’s Messy | It’s tough | Come under Spiritual Attacks | Your marriage, your relationships is between you, your spouse and God and your obligation is between you and GOD and let God do a work in their heart.
How many other areas can you be casual when it comes to God?
Same way you deal with your marriage, is same way you’ll deal with God - It’s not Casual, it’s not contractual, it’s covenental
If we are having trouble, we always turn to their behaviour…instead of turning to our behaviour. We can say “Who does CHRIST call me to be right now…regardless of what she does”
Do you want your marriage to be CHRIST CENTERED? Covenent keeping?
Love actually will say: eat speghetti where the strand leads to a romantic kiss
God says: Love your wife like christ loves the Church…and let God change her heart or vice versa.
If we want a marriage that is honouring to God, we must love each other the way God intended it to be.
If we want to be more Christ Centred, we can pray together…every day and put God First.
Here is one action that will bring your marriage closer to God…Pray Together
**EMMA and I PRAY TOGETHER EVERY DAY** You are my Rock, You are my Warrior, Jesus you are the LORD or our lives
Love Actually says “Find the one”
Actually love says: Find the TWO…Actually Love says:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
If we get our BASE right, everything else can grow from there.
Prayer