Joy in Restored Relationships- Phil. 4:1-3

The book of Philippians contains incredible, theological truths. In chapter one we saw Paul unpack the theological wonder that God is sovereign and works all things in accordance with His plan.

In chapter two we briefly discussed the humility of Christ. The incarnation, besides setting Christianity apart from every other religion, is a deep and delightful doctrine.

In chapter three, we see the wonderful truth (i.e., teaching) that God is a knowable God. We can learn about and experience God, and that, my friends, is a wonderful doctrine.

But interwoven in this letter to the Philippian church are many exhortations to live differently. That is, Paul offers practical applications for the delightful doctrines he, through the Spirit of God, presents.

I do not know about you, but I like things that are practical. If you are selling me a product, I want to know how it will help me. Hannah just bought a maul for me, and I do not care how it looks, I want to know will it cut up the wood.

I do not enjoy most fiction literature because, by and large, I see no practical value in it.

Some people view the Scriptures, and in particular the doctrines of Scripture, as fictional literature. They see the doctrines of Scripture as tools for the theologians in the ivory towers, but what they want are the practical aspects that is all-too-common in Christian bookstores.

Doctrine is practical, and practical is doctrinal. What you believe affects what you do, and what you do demonstrates what you believe.

Not surprisingly, doctrine informs how we relate (or, at least should relate) to one another. The truth of God tells us how to relate to one another in marital roles, singleness, parental-child roles, employee-employer roles, and even government-citizen roles.

How can we have joy in restored relationships? Perhaps a better question is how can we have relationships restored. We all have people that we get along with better than others. Perhaps you can think of individuals within these four walls that you, if being honest, would be okay with never having an interaction with again.

There are also people that we have harmful interactions. These can be harsh words or even tones used. They can come to the physical exchange of blows. What does this have to do with us?

As Christians, we practice the doctrines of the Scriptures, which, summarily put, are expressed with the command to love our neighbors as ourselves.

How, then, do we move from this general command to the specifics of mending broken relationships? Paul gives us the way, and if, as a church and as individuals, seek to have joy in relationships, they must be lived in light of the doctrines of God.

I. The Basis for Restored Relationships is a growing Christian- 4:1

II. The Center for Restored Relationships is Jesus Christ- 4:2-3

III. The Result of Restored Relationships glorifies God and extends His Work- 4:3

I. The Basis for Restored Relationships is a growing Christian- 4:1

We could have easily placed verse one with our sermon last week. However, I think it provides a nice segue into this brief focus on restoring relationships. Not only that, but it presents the basis, or foundation, for restored relationships: a growing Christian. I say growing, because this leaves room for failures and successes (notice those thoughts in Phil. 3:13-14). However, it also keeps in mind the destination (or, goal). In our case, as followers of Jesus Christ, we want to be like Jesus Christ. We want to think like Him, act like Him, and relate to people like Him.

Paul ties this discussion of relationship to one’s relationship with Christ. He says “so then,” placing these thoughts on the shoulder of our heavenly-minded citizenship.

Paul dearly loves these people, and wants to see them grow in their faith and in their love for one another.

He says, “in this manner stand firm in the Lord.” To what he is referring? First, in this manner is immediately connected with that heavenly-minded citizenship, but within the greater context of the letter it means to live one’s life worthy of the gospel of Christ (1:27).

Second, Paul reminds us to “stand firm.” The idea is perseverance. In other words, following Christ is not easy, nor is it is sprint, it is a marathon. Remember, there are those who’s lives do not match the Gospel (3:18-19). Perhaps they started out faithful and then turned from the Lord.

Stand firm, be commited, Paul tells us, and he anchors it, as he has done numerous times, in the Lord (i.e., Phil. 1:29).

Paul gets at the heart of the matter right at the beginning. If you are a growing Christian, you will be able to, through the power and fruit of the Holy Spirit, be able to restore relationships. If you are not a growing Christian, you will not be able to restore relationships.

So, are you growing? Are you growing in your relationship with Christ? Go back and look at Paul’s letter up to this point. He provides a wealth of material to grow. If you are to live a life worthy of the Gospel, you must be growing.

I. The Basis for Restored Relationships is a growing Christian- 4:1

II. The Center for Restored Relationships is Jesus Christ- 4:2

II. The Center for Restored Relationships is Jesus Christ- 4:2-3

The basis for restored relationships is a growing Christian. This is foundational to everything that God has called us both to be and to do. However, a growing Christian will seek to restore relationships (Matt. 5:21-48, 7:1-8, 18:15-35). We have in verse two a brief display of how to restore relationships, and it centers on Jesus Christ. Let us look at Paul’s exhortations here in this verse.

A. Problems in relationships can involve godly Christians—Euodia and Syntyche

Eudoia and Synteche are godly women, perhaps holding some sort of position within the church (church could be meeting at one or both of their homes). Paul calls them “coworkers” who “contended for the gospel.” That is to say, these women were godly and committed followers of Jesus Christ.

Certainly there are problems with immature Christian relationships. I would go so far as to say the majority of issues in relationships stem from immature Christians. However, godly, mature Christians can have problems in relationships. Paul and Barnabas serve as an excellent biblical example (Acts 15:36-41). We do not need to immediately question someone’s faith or maturity if they are involved in an argument or difficult relationship.

Also, we need to remember the main focus, which we will do in a moment. We can get caught up on all kinds of arguments over painting the church, over the color of carpet, over masks or no masks, over politics, and you can put anything else in there, that we miss our main focus.

Here are two godly women who have a broken relationship. Now, we need to see that this division affects the whole church.

B. Problems in relationships affect the Church

Just to anchor this passage in this entire letter, remember these verses? In 1:27 Paul wants them to stand in one spirit with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel. In 2:3-4 he wanted the church to follow Christ’s humble example of lifting others above themselves (an other-centeredness). In 3:15-16 he wanted unity, though not all would be mature enough to handle Paul’s teaching at the same time. Then we come to chapter four and learn about this division.

In other words, problems in relationships affect the church. If Bertha and Miltilda are arguing, it does not just affect Bertha and Miltilda. It branches out to affect Ursala, and then to Maldry, and it just continues to grow like cancer. Though a different scenario, the sin tolerated in the church of Corinth affected the church and her witness (see 1 Cor. 5).

Not only is it a sin against God and the one with whom you are arguing, you are also sinning against the body of Christ (and Jesus is particularly caring concerning his church, see the book of Revelation).

C. Problems in relationships can be restored through Jesus Christ

What’s the solution? How do we handle problems in relationships? By getting our focus back on Jesus Christ. “Agree” is the same word he used back in 2:2 of having the same mind. Now, Paul qualifies this agreement, as should we, with the phrase “in the Lord.” In other words, put aside personal differences and focus on the work of the Lord. This does not mean that Euodia and Syntache are not to work on their problem. Rather, it means that Paul wanted them to reorient their focus back to God.

As we have agreement in the Lord, and practice unity, we can work through our differences in a way that glorifies God and edifies (or, builds up) our brother or sister. Without this central thought (and arguably, this source of power) we have no hope of restoring relationships.

D. Problems in relationships may need help—help these women

Now, from Paul’s recruitment of this unnamed worker to help, we learn that some relationships require more help. In other words, there are some issues in our relationships that be can cleared up with a conversation. Others, however, require more work and more help.

Think of a husband and wife. If an issue in their relationship is left unchecked for 10 years, the problems will probably require some outside help. You may be divided from someone within this body. Ask for help! That is one of the glorious, God-ordained benefits of the Church.

I. The Basis for Restored Relationships is a growing Christian- 4:1

II. The Center for Restored Relationships is Jesus Christ- 4:2-3

III. The Result of Restored Relationships glorifies God and extends His Work- 4:3

III. The Result of Restored Relationships glorifies God and extends His Work- 4:3

Now, Paul comes to the result of restored relationships: it glorifies God and extends His work. When you fail to resolve issues in your relationships, you bring shame and dishonor the name of God. I mentioned Matthew chapter five earlier, but I want to you to turn to that chapter briefly.

Hear the words of Jesus in 5:23-25. Alexander Strauch, in his book If You Bite & Devour One Another, says this,

“trying to worship God when one’s relationship with a brother or sister is unreconciled is unacceptable to God.”—A. Strauch

That means that if there is a brother or sister in this church (present or not) that you have an issue with, you must reconcile that relationship. To continue to “worship God” while ignoring that is sin and will result in the discipline of God almighty.

Could it be that Warrior Creek Baptist Church is forfeiting the blessings of God because we have individuals who have broken relationships? Notice how Paul connects this sisterly issue with the church, which then affects God’s glory and work.

He desires help, because Euodia and Syntache helped in his gospel ministry (cf. 1:5). They were involved in the ministry at Philippi. Their broken relationship would affect the church, which would, in turn, affect the glory of God. Paul mentions the book of life, which is found throughout the first testament and the end of Scripture (Rev. 21:27). You see, when broken relationships are restored God is glorified and His work continues.

Do you have broken relationships? Is there someone in this room, or who once served in this church, that you have issues with? You are commanded to restore that relationship. It may be that the individual does not want to fix the relationship, and for that they will have to answer. However, you are responsible to do what you can.

Regardless of the relationship, Jesus can help restore it. Let us resolve to grow in grace, to practice biblical restoration, and let us eagerly seek the grace of God for His glory and the work of the ministry here in Gray Court and ultimately around the world.