Disciplining Isn't Easy
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· 4 viewsGod is the best model for parenting, and He disciplines us for our good and His glory. Likewise, we must offer grace-filled discipline to our children, even though it isn't pleasant at the time.
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None of us here like to punish our kids. It is not anything that we want to do in our spare time. All of us have different methods of discipline. And not every method will work the same for every kid. But if we want our children to learn valuable lessons, then we must discipline our kids.
There seems to be a common fear/misconception among parents today: if you discipline your kid, you are mean, and they will grow up to hate you. But this advice is in direct rebellion to God’s Word. God loves us perfectly, and He disciplines us for our good so we will learn and have abundant life as a result.
Our passage today is found in the book of Hebrews. I am reading from chapter 12. I want to begin at verse 5.
5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
The word for “discipline” in the Greek is paideia. It not only has implications of “rebuke” or “correction,” but also the positive implications of “training” and “guiding instruction”. This is like that of a loving parent giving to a son or daughter to help them mature into adulthood.
This verse warns about two possible responses to God’s discipline in difficult circumstances. The first, we may respond insensitively and “make light” of it, which implies shrugging it off or even despising it. And the second, we may respond over-sensitively and “lose heart when he rebukes” us, which may lead either to withdrawing emotionally or giving up. Contrary to these two wrong responses, we are to regard the Lord’s discipline as evidence of his responsible love and grace to us as our Father.
There are several facts in this passage I have read to you about God’s discipline of his people and the difficulties and troubles he allows us to suffer.
Fact #1 - When God disciplines us, it is a sign that we are God’s children (vv. 7-8).
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.
God disciplines His children. The day we asked Jesus to be our Lord and Savior was the day that we became a part of God’s family. We became children of God.
15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
God adopted us as his children the day we repented. And that is why he can discipline us. Because we are his children.
Fact #2 - When God disciplines us it is an assurance of God’s love and concern for us.
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
This is a repeat of Proverbs chapter 3 verse 12.
12 because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.
The best example I can give you is when you tell your child not to touch the hot stove. You tell them this because you know it will hurt them badly. Then, when they continually try to touch the hot stove, you discipline them for disobeying you. You are not trying to be mean but you are trying to protect them. That is why God disciplines us, because he is trying to protect us. He doesn’t want bad things to happen to us. He has a deep love and concern for us.
Fact #3 - The Lord’s discipline has two purposes: (1) that we might not be condemned with the world and (2) that we might share God’s holiness and continue to be set apart for his purposes.
The first of these two purposes is that we might not be condemned with the world.
31 But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment. 32 Nevertheless, when we are judged in this way by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be finally condemned with the world.
The purpose of the Lord’s judgment is that we might not be condemned eternally with the world and those who have not accepted Christ. If we judge ourselves properly, God’s discipline is aimed at leading us to repent and grow in our relationship with God. Just as when we discipline our children and hope they grow to not make the same mistakes over and over, God does the same with us.
And the second purpose is that we might share God’s holiness and continue to be set apart for his purposes.
As believers we are to be different than the world. What does that mean? it means we think differently. We walk differently. We act differently. Why do we need to be different? We want the world to see a difference in how we live. God wants to bless his people. The world will see how we are blessed and will want to be blessed as well. That is when we can take an opportunity and share the love of God with them.
Fact #4 - There are two possible consequences of the Lord’s discipline. (1) We endure the hardships or (2) We may “make light of” the discipline of our Father.
If we endure the hardships that God leads us through and we submit to God’s purpose and continue to remain faithful. By doing this, we will continue to live as God’s spiritual children and share his holiness, which will keep us in right relationship with God and enable us to fulfill his purposes for us. This road isn’t always easy but at the end the reward is great.
The other option is we “make light of” the discipline of our Father, rebel against God because of trouble and suffering and end up falling away from God. This road may be easy for a while but in the end the reward is painful for all eternity.
Jesus talks about two paths in Matthew 7:13-14
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Lexham Context Commentary: New Testament The Narrow Gate and Road (7:13–14)
Jesus in this paragraph implicitly recognizes the difficulty of putting into practice his teachings, likening it to a narrow gate and a constricted road, with few who manage to find it. As this paragraph is the first of a number to challenge the disciples to put Jesus’ teaching into practice, the analogy is that putting Jesus’ teaching into practice is actually done by few people and is difficult.
You don’t have to take the discipline that the Lord gives us, but that path leads to destruction.
If you were traveling down a road and you came to a sign that says destruction ahead you would probably stop and turn around. In life we get that choice. If you see destruction ahead we can take the other path and let God discipline us for our good.
Fact #5 - In following God’s desires, plans and purposes for our lives, trouble may come.
Even when we are being disciplined by God there could still be trouble coming around the corner. How?
1. By Spiritual Warfare
11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
You have to remember that the enemy we fight against is not a physical enemy but it is a spiritual enemy and you can’t battle that enemy like you do a physical enemy.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
We have to stand with one another. We need to pray for one another. We need to read the word of God so that we know how to battle the enemy.
Another way trouble may come is
2) By a Test
You possibly could face a test . This test could be used to strengthen your Faith. We face tests all the time in our life. We just want to pass the test in life. But if you fail the test, be grateful that you serve a God of grace and love.
6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.
And another way that trouble may come
3) as a Preparation for Us to Comfort Others Who Go Through Similar Troubles
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.
I can’t begin to tell you of the many ways that I have faced something, a crisis, a hurt, a mishap or whatever and then later down the road I have someone come up to me that is going through something that I went through. I was able to see how God used that circumstance in my life to touch someone else’s life.
All of these situations provide opportunities to develop and demonstrate Christ’s life in and through us. It is important that we make good use of what God has disciplined us with. He disciplines us to strengthen us so that we can in turn minister to someone else.
15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Fact #6 - In All Kinds of Adversity, We Must Rely on God.
5 He sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God. As long as he sought the Lord, God gave him success.
12 For he who avenges blood remembers;
he does not ignore the cries of the afflicted.
17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
Let me let you in on a little secret. In the end we win. We win!
Whatever you go through in this life, in the end we win!
If you have children still at home and you are wondering what is the best way to parent your kids, there is some sound advice that I can give you. God is the best model for parenting. When he disciplines us it is for our good and for His glory. We can look to him and follow His example. And just like God, we must offer grace-filled discipline to our children, even though it isn’t pleasant at the time.