To Listen or Not to Listen
To Listen or Not to Listen? A Matter of Discipling Discipline
Matthew 18:15-20
September 12, 1999
The word discipline can cause all kinds of “gut feelings like fear, anxiety, or uncertainty; some very negative feelings. One particular person from my early years in ministry equated discipline with punishment. Scripture references to discipline, like Proverbs 3:11 would arouse her insecurity. That verse says, “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke.” She would never quite accept the biblical aspect of discipline as love. You see, the word discipline can also produce positive feelings like security, and relief. Proverbs 3:12 completes the thought of the previous verse saying, “because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”
I believe Jesus puts discipline in the context of love and discipleship when He says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” Jesus makes the purpose of discipline to be summoning the guilty party to repentance and restoration. Scorn, shame, and exposure is not the goal of godly discipline. Correction and restoration is the goal. This is why the Small Catechism teaches “The Christian congregation must carry out church discipline in love and patience.
Listening to rebuke and correction is not easy. Listening for understanding is not easy either. However, if reconciliation is the goal, listening carefully for understanding must take place in a two-way communication. There is no room for one-upmanship or put-downs in discipling discipline. Making room for confession, the acknowledgement of sin, and absolution, the forgiveness of sin is what Jesus desires. Consider God’s instruction to Ezekiel, “Say to them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live.’”
Going to a brother or sister who sins against you is your individual responsibility. Gathering a group of like-minded people to “set the record straight” has nothing to do with godly discipline. To prattle, “he said-she said” gossip destroys relationships, and breaks down channels of communication. Jumping to self-devised conclusions about another, kills. Yet, the Sovereign Lord says, “When I say to the wicked, ‘O wicked man, you will surely die, and you do not speak out to dissuade him from his ways, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood.” To Listen or Not to Listen is serious business when dealing with a lost soul. It is a matter of discipling discipline; a matter of life and death; a matter of eternal significance.
Nevertheless, going to your brother or sister in the Lord with the best of intentions may not bear the desired fruit. Jesus says, “If he listens to you, you have won your brother.” The implication and context indicates that the straying soul might not listen; might not understand his sin; might not turn and be saved. Jesus tells His disciples--those who hear Him and are trained by His Word, “He who listens to you listens to me; he who rejects you rejects me; but he who rejects me rejects Him who sent Me.” My friends in Christ, the Scripture is clear, “God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.” To Listen or Not to Listen to our God is the question before us. The heart’s answer to that question reveals the condition of the soul. The apostle John says, “We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.”
Christian psychologist James Dobson has written a famous book titled Dare to Discipline. For the church and for each individual in it, we might say, “Dare to Disciple,” because our goal is to restore and lift up the soul of that strays. There have been times in my ministry when I sought prayerfully to disciple an erring member of the congregation. I invited the person to study what God’s Word has to say about the issue between us. Some have declined that invitation for whatever reason. I can tell you that it hurts me; not because I take it personally, but because I believe that brother or sister does not really know what they are doing to themselves.
Even so, I have this hope, which is not wishful, but certainty that what God has said is true. “Again, I tell you,” Jesus says, “that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” What a wonderful feeling it is to agree in the Lord that reconciliation and restoration to the family of God is needed. I know, I have been there, done that. What a wonderful feeling of certainty, security, and relief it is to embrace a brother or sister in Christ knowing our sins have been forgiven, our trespasses forgotten. That is what we have in Christ not because of our goodness, but because of His presence in discipling discipline. “For where two or three come together in my name,” says the Lord, “there am I with them.” To Listen or Not to Listen? It is a Matter of Discipling Discipline. Amen.