Rubbing People the Right Way

Rubbing People the Right Way

Acts 4:34-37

During the colonial era, wealthy ladies were proud of their wide-board oak floors. At least once a week, servants would wet-rub and then dry-rub these floors to make them shiny. It was a very simple task involving running a wet mop along the grain of the wood and then a dry mop.

But sometimes a careless worker would mop across the grain and it would produce streaks on the floor. When that happened the lady of the house would scold the servant for “rubbing the floor the wrong way.” That’s where we get our phrase “to rub someone the wrong way.”

Well, I want to tell you how to rub people the right way, and there is one surefire, fail-safe, foolproof, guaranteed way to rub someone the right way. It works any time, any place, on practically anybody, and the way to do it is by encouragement.

There is something you need, I need, we all need, and that is encouragement. Human nature is so quick to tear down rather than to build up. For every word of encouragement, we probably hear ten words of discouragement.

You know, the kind of people who will only talk to you when they want to criticize someone of something. They never offer a word of encouragement, only criticism.

A friend of mine told me that after the first time he preached in church, someone came up to him and said, “That was a good sermon but it was way too long.”

Far too often, we’re guilty of taking the time to discourage someone, but never taking the time to encourage someone. I love the old saying, “write your criticisms in dust, your compliments in marble.” but so often we do just the opposite.

The truth is we all have our detractors; we all have our discouragers; and there are times that we all could use a word of encouragement.

To some degree or other, all of us are like the guy who drove on to a used car lot and walked up to a salesman and asked, “Sir, are you the salesman who sold me this car?”

The salesman looked him over and said, “Yes, I believe I am.”

The used car owner said, “Well, I wonder if you would mind telling me how great it is again; sometimes I get so discouraged!”

We all get discouraged and need encouragement. I don’t know of any place that we need it more than in our homes and in our churches. Don’t ever underestimate the importance of the support we gain from one another when we both give and receive encouragement.

Today we’re going to study the life of a man who made the encourager’s hall of fame. And by doing a quick study of his life, we can learn how to be an encourager as well. Let’s stop rubbing people the wrong way and look at the steps we can take to be like Barnabas.

Let’s pray and read our text.

Pray!

Acts 4:34–37 ESV

There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

The first step to becoming an encourager is

Bring Blessings to Others

One of those things we see right off the bat about Barnabas that is so encouraging is that he put his money where his mouth was.

37 sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

The first church was made up of lots of poor people, and many times when people came to Christ, they would lose their families, jobs and income.

And, a revival had broken out on the day of Pentecost in Jerusalem, and many people had come to know Jesus who lived in other places, but they stayed behind because they wanted instruction, they wanted to be in fellowship and they wanted to grow in the Lord.

So, their backs were financially against the wall. Well, Barnabas, being the encourager that he was, took a valuable piece of property, sold it, and gave it to the apostles to help meet the needs of the people.

You see, an encourager sees a need, and then says, “I’ll give what I can and I’ll do what I can to meet that need.”

But now don’t get the idea you have to have money to be an encourager. You may not be rich in money, but every one of us has so much we can give to others as a gift of encouragement.

· Sick people don’t need money; they need a word of concern.

· Lonely people don’t need money; they just need a few minutes of time.

· Hurting people don’t need money; they just need a touch on the shoulder.

· Discouraged people don’t need money; they just need a word of hope.

Mark twain once said, “I can live two months on one good compliment.”

Sometimes that’s all we need.

John Wooden coached UCLA’s basketball team to eleven national championships in thirteen years. He understood Mark Twain’s statement and had a special way of making sure his players applied it.

Wooden told his players that whenever a basket was made, the player who scored was required to smile, wink, nod, or point to the player who passed him the ball.

When he gave these instructions to one team, one of his players asked, “But coach, what if he’s not looking?”

John wooden said, “I guarantee you he’ll look.”

He was right, because everyone is looking for encouragement and affirmation.

You see an encourager is a selfless person. They’re always trying to think how they can bless somebody, help somebody, or strengthen somebody.

We see this again in Barnabas in Antioch.

Acts 11:23 ESV

When he came and saw the grace of God, he was glad, and he exhorted them all to remain faithful to the Lord with steadfast purpose,

Then just a few chapters later in that same city

Acts 14:22 ESV

strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.

Antioch was the third greatest city of the world after Rome and Alexandria. It was a cultured city, but it was also a wicked city. It was a city filled with idolatry, heathenism, and sexual sin. But the Holy Spirit began to move in that city and many came to know Christ.

When reports got to Jerusalem about the revival that was going on in Antioch, the apostles decided they ought to investigate, and they chose Barnabas to go and to see what was going on.

Well Barnabas encouraged these men and women to grow in the faith, and to share the Lord.

Acts 11:24 ESV

for he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And a great many people were added to the Lord.

Now Barnabas could have become the evangelist-in-chief, and kept this situation all to himself and been the top dog. But because he was such an encourager, he realized he couldn’t handle the situation by himself; he needed someone with greater gifts than he had.

He remembered that young zealous Hebrew scholar he’d met in Jerusalem, by the name of Paul. He knew about his education and his ability to teach and preach. Besides, he had a Greek background and it would be just the answer for what these people needed.

What was more important to Barnabas than fame was the welfare of these Christians in Antioch.

· Why was Barnabas willing to take second billing?

· Why was he willing to be number two?

· Why was he willing to go behind the curtains and put Paul out on the stage?

Because he was an encourager who had one desire, and that was to bring blessings to others.

The second step to becoming an encourager is to

Break Barriers for Others

Paul had met Jesus on the way to Damascus; it’s been three years since he’d been saved. He’s basically gone underground to grow in the Lord.

But now he’s back, and what’s even worse he’s back in Jerusalem.

Well, word got out pretty quickly that public enemy number one was back. You see, at that time the church considered Saul of Tarsus the most dangerous man in the world. Nobody would speak to him. In Jerusalem he was the most hated and most feared man in all of Israel.

But Barnabas took him under his wing.

Paul had tried again and again to be part of the church but they had put a barrier up and he couldn’t get through it.

Everybody else shut the door.

· James, the brother of Jesus wanted nothing to do with Saul.

· Peter, who had the keys to the kingdom, kept the door locked.

· John, the apostle of love, said, “I love anybody but Saul.”

· Andrew, who loved normally to introduce people to Jesus, said, “forget it” when it came to Saul.

Acts 9:27 ESV

But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles and declared to them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who spoke to him, and how at Damascus he had preached boldly in the name of Jesus.

That’s the mark of a real encourager; he’ll support the underdog. He’ll jump on the bandwagon when everybody else jumps off. He’ll walk into your house when the whole world has walked out.

Did you notice how he did it?

He never brought up his past; he never mentioned his mistakes. He didn’t say, “Look, I know he was a murderer, I know he was a blasphemer, I know he destroyed the church, I know he put many of you in prison.”

No, Barnabas was an encourager, and encouragers don’t look at the past, they look to the future. Barnabas didn’t look at what Paul had done; he looked at what Paul could do. He said, “Don’t look at the man for what he was. Look at the man for what he is.”

See, if you’re not careful you can try to encourage people, but do it in a way that you wind up actually discouraging people.

I heard about a little boy after a church service who came up to his pastor and said, “Pastor, when I grow up, I’m going to be a doctor and make a lot of money, and when I do, I’m going to give you a lot of money too.”

The pastor said, “Well, that’s so kind and generous, but why are you going to give me a lot of money?”

He said, “Because my daddy says you’re the poorest preacher we’ve ever had.”

There’s something true about all of us. Whenever you hear someone putting himself down, he’s usually asking you to help build him back up. Sometimes we just don’t pick up on it.

We’re like the guy who was feeling down and said to his wife, “Honey, I feel old, flabby, wrinkled, useless, and stupid.”

She smiled and said, “Don’t be silly, you’re not old.”

Let’s take a moment here and encourage all of us to be encouragers.

When people come to church, they should find bridges going up and barriers coming down.

We should tear down the barrier of racism and build up the bridge of acceptance. We should tear down the barrier of prejudice and build up the bridge of love. That’s what an encourager does.

In order to be an encourager, we should bring blessing to others, break down barriers, and:

Build Bridges for Others

Now there was a strong disagreement between Paul and Barnabas concerning a young man named John Mark. They’d gone on a missionary journey and for some reason Mark had gotten discouraged; maybe he was homesick, but for whatever reason, he quit and went back home.

Because of that Paul basically washed his hands of him and said, “He’s finished, and I’m done with him too.”

Well, Barnabas wasn’t like that. Because he didn’t focus on Mark’s problems, he focused on his potential. That’s a big difference. Encouragers see potential where others see problems. Barnabas believed in Mark so much that he parted company with Paul in order to take John Mark with him.

Barnabas wouldn’t quit on Paul and yet Paul was ready to quit on Mark.

So many people suffer from the “Charlie Brown Complex.” You know Charlie Brown never could do anything right, but if you read Peanuts enough you begin to notice that one of his biggest problems was the fact that Lucy was always around to make sure he couldn’t do anything right and remind him of it when he didn’t.

Have you ever had a Lucy around you? I certainly have.

Do you know what John Mark needed? He needed a bridge builder; he needed a word of encouragement. He just needed somebody to believe in him.

A movie called “Stand and Deliver” came out when I was in high school. It was the story of a successful teacher in a rough high school. In his class were two students named Johnny. One was a bright student and a joy to teach, but the other wasted his talents, bucked authority, and refused to learn anything.

Well, at the first PTA meeting for parents, Johnny’s mother asked Jamie for a report on her son’s progress. Jamie said, “Why, Johnny is a joy to have in my class. I am so glad he is one of my students.”

Well, the next day rebellious Johnny walked into the classroom with a big smile on his face and a totally different attitude.

He ran up to Mr. Escalante and said, “My mother told me what you said about me last night, and I just want you to know I’ve never had a teacher who wanted me before or even liked me, and I’m going to work harder than I’ve ever done to be a good student.”

He became a model student.

Well, what Johnny didn’t know was that Mr. Escalante thought that Johnny’s mother was the mother of the other Johnny who was his best student. His comments were meant not for that Johnny but the results were unbelievable. One encouraging word spoken at the right moment, at the right time, for the right person, transformed a young man’s life.

That’s exactly what encouragement does.

Just think about what could have happened if Barnabas hadn’t encouraged Paul; if he had just walked away from him like everybody else.

We would have lost 14 books of the New Testament. The church would have lost its greatest teacher and missionary.

What about John Mark?

If Barnabas had quit on Mark like Paul did, maybe we’d never have had Mark’s gospel.

If Barnabas had given up on Mark, he might never have become the man Paul asked for at the end of his life.

2 Timothy 4:11 ESV

Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry.

…Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry.

There was a boy whose dad died when he was five years old. This boy dropped out of school after sixth grade. By the time he was 17 he had lost job after job after job. He married at 18, had a baby at 19, and was separated from his wife at 20.

· He became a railroad conductor but got fired.

· He joined the army but washed out.

· He became a farmer and lost his shirt.

· He applied to law school but got turned down.

· He became an insurance salesman and couldn’t give it away.

Finally, he became a dishwasher and a cook in a two-bit restaurant. One thing he was able to do was to finally persuade his wife to come back to him and together they made a living cooking and washing dishes.

At 65, he retired. He went to the mailbox and got his first social security check that had a grand total of $105. This 65-year-old man was so discouraged he decided to give up.

He went under a tree and wrote out his will.

Well, somehow his wife found out about his scheme and confronted him, “Let me tell you one thing you can do, I believe better than anybody I’ve ever known.”

He said, “What’s that?”

She said, “You can cook.”

He said, “Do you really think so?”

She said, “You’re fabulous.”

Well, that gave him an idea. He went down to a local bank and borrowed $87 against his social security check. He went to the supermarket, bought some chicken and some boxes, fried it with a special recipe he had developed, put it in boxes and began going door-to-door in Corbin, Kentucky selling his chicken.

It became so popular he came up with the idea to try to sell it to restaurants.

Well, guess what? He was turned down over a thousand times before a man named John Brown tasted his chicken and said, “I’ll go into business with you.”

That man’s name was Colonel Harlan sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

What was the secret?

This was the same man, the same recipe, the same ability, and the same chicken. The only difference: a word of encouragement.

If you want to rub people the right way, every chance you get Bring Blessings Others; Break Barriers for Others; and Build Bridges for Others.

The amazing thing you’ll find is that you’ll be encouraged in the process.

· What do you need to do to become an encourager?

· Who around you needs to be encouraged?

· How can God work through your life to transform you into an encourager?