You've Got a Friend in Me
Notes
Transcript
A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under an eight-point buck.
"Where’s Harry?" he was asked.
"Harry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Harry laying there, and carried the deer back?"
"Well," said the hunter, "I figured no one was going to steal Harry."
Everyone needs a good friend.Where would we be without the friends that God has placed in our lives. In fact, I have often said that the 2 most valuable assets that God has given us on Earth are 1) The Holy Spirit 2) Friends to walk along the way with us
In this section of Romans we read about Paul and his friends. Paul was a citizen of Rome by his birth in Tarsus- and Paul shares is love and intent to come to Rome in this section of Scripture- he tells them in 22-23 that he has a deep desire to come to them and visit with them. Paul does make it to Rome 2 times during his 35 years of ministry- but both times he goes to Rome it is as a prisoner in chains. But it is obvious that he developed deep and meaningful friendships in Rome, and that the friends he had there meant so much to him.
There is an old saying that “without friends the world is a wilderness.” Which reminds us that friendship is God’s idea- he made us for relationship. And not just passing acquaintances either, he made us for deep and meaningful connection. Remember, God said “it is not good for man to be alone”
We also know that the very idea of the Gospel is built on friendship. Jesus told his Disciples in John 15:15 “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” Jesus is the ultimate picture of friendship. The terms of the Gospel show us the framework of what Godly friendship looks like.
We can see a few things about friendship in Paul’s example. First, let me tell you about some of the people that Paul lists in his letter:
Phoebe- An older woman in the church who had a habit of helping others
Andronicus and Junia- a husband and wife missionary team
Rufus- long church tradition says that Rufus was the father of Simon who carried the cross of Jesus. It also tells us that Rufus was a Cyrene
Gaius- a wealthy business owner; probably upper class
Erastus- a politician with power and authority
Tertius and Quartus- Tertius means third and Quartus means fourth- they were likely slaves who had numbers instead of names.
There were some of Paul’s friends. They were men, women, slaves, free, rich, poor, and everything in-between. Paul did not limit his friendship and affection to people just like him- he offered his friendship to many kinds of people.
Many times people surround themselves with people who are like them-they only interact with people that share social status, ideologies, or other factors. Can I tell you that I believe that is part of why the world is so divided these days? We work so hard at putting distance between us and those we disagree with.
The thing is grace and mercy are relational qualities. It is pretty much impossible to grow grace and mercy in your heart without being involved with people that you have to show grace and mercy toward. For Jesus grace and mercy were not ideas, they were literal ways of living and interacting with others. In a world that encourages us to distance ourselves from those not like us, the call of Jesus is to surround ourselves with a diversity of people.
But that is not all that Paul’s letter tells us about friendship. Listen to verse 14. Good friends teach, admonish,instruct one another.
One of the true marks of Godly friendship is that it is able to both give and accept counsel and teaching. Being able to speak truthfully with one another and not break the friendship is a witness to the world.
Proverbs 11:14 tells us that “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” There are going to be times in your life when God puts you in a position to speak on his behalf to your friends- and that is not always an easy thing to do. In fact, “You are right” are three of the easiest words to say, and if you change one word in that phrase it becomes one of the hardest statements to make to a friend- “You are wrong.” But a true friend, a Godly friend, will admonish another friend if they see their decisions are going to push them away from Jesus. Now, that takes courage and boldness; and a lot of faith because no one likes to confront a friend.
That also means that the adverse is true as well, though, that a Godly friend is one that can ACCEPT counsel and admonishment as well. Too often we platy the “only God can judge me” card. We hear something we do not like and automatically get defensive. Well, what if the very way God is speaking to you is through the voice of a friend? What if the words that they are saying to you were laid on their heart by God? What if we sabotage the voice of God in our midst by running at the mention of change?
Paul also tells us that a Godly friend is supportive. Most of us know the old song “Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes” and that rings true in the teaching of the Bible. Listen to v23-26. Paul is journeying to Jerusalem to offer support to the churches there, and he is hoping to get support from Rome as he travels.
The world is full of stories of people who missed out on life’s best and greatest opportunities because they did not have support. Without someone in their corner they lacked the courage, the faith, the inspiration to take the risk, to fight the battle, to live!
In 2014 Andrew Solomon wrote an article in the New York Times after Robin Williams’ suicide called “Suicide: A Crime of Loneliness.” In his article he unpacked how even a person as nationally beloved as Robin Williams can feel so alone without an intimate support system. Too often the world is full of people who look fine on the outside, but are literally dying of loneliness on the inside.
This is exactly what Paul was getting at in Galatians 6:2 when he said “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ.” We are not just asked- we are commanded by the Bible to support one another.
One of the convictions that our family lives with is to be tangibly supporting someone else every day. That could be with money, with possessions, with our presence and attention- any multitude of things. For us, this is not just about helping the person, it is also an act of worship and appreciation to God. If we are all made in the image of God, and we are all God’s children, then supporting and helping others is an act of worship, at least in our minds. I worship God in the ways that I serve and support others.
Can I challenge you today to find someone to support this week. And don’t just ask them- DO IT! So often we say things like “can I do anything for you?” I ask that question 10000 times a week. This week, instead of asking- just do it! Send the flowers, mail the gift card; call and tell them you are bringing dinner over on Thursday; make a point to say “I am babysitting the kids this week so you can go out, what day works?”
Paul shows us that a Godly friend prays. Prayer is the most powerful tool we have. Do you pray for your friends? I hope you do.
Richard Foster in his book "Prayer: Finding the Hearts True Home", says that intercession is a way of loving others. Intercessory prayer is selfless prayer, even self-giving prayer.
"Intercessory prayer is priestly ministry, and one of the most challenging teachings in the New Testament is the universal priesthood of all Christians. As priests, appointed and anointed by God, we have the honour of going before the Most High on behalf of others. This is not optional; it is a sacred obligation - and a precious privilege - of all who take up the yoke of Christ."
As a Christian friend your first responsibility is to pray for your friends. We are reminded that even Jesus asked his friends to pray for him. When he entered his hardest moments in the Garden of Gethsemane he needed his friends to watch and pray with him. If our Lord needed friends to pray for him, why should we think we are any different?
This is one of the reasons that we have implemented intentional prayer partners this year- because we want to see our church take praying for one another seriously. After all, the Bible tells us that when we pray in the name of Jesus we have the most powerful name in Heaven and Earth on our side- so why would we not use that power for others?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 really lays it out on the line for us;
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
The Bible tells us that we will have a great reward if we connect our lives to God and good friends- if we foster a bond with Jesus and others. When we invest in friendship, we are investing in the Kingdom of God. But make no mistake, it takes time and effort to do this.
Our current culture sees relationships as disposable. Even marriage, the most sacred of all relationships, ends in divorce almost 60% of the time in country; and many of us in this room have had friends of family dispose of our relationship because of a disagreement- cancel culture is all the rage these days!
Max Lucado once reflected
"Call us a fast society, an efficient society, but don’t call us a personal society. Our society is set up for isolation. We wear ear buds when we exercise. We communicate via e-mail and text messages. We enter and exit our house with gates and garage door openers. Our mantra: 'I leave you alone. You leave me alone.'"
(Source: "Out Live Your Life, page 54
In other words, this kind of relationship, this kind of friendship takes intentionality- you must choose it on purpose. You must have a desire for it.
But how? How do we develop such a desire, such a passion for that kind of relationship? We look at Jesus. Remember, Jesus is to be our model for all things- his life is to be the example we strive for in all things. So, when we read through the Gospels and see the way that Jesus interacted with those around him, the way he lived with his friends, the way he loved others- then we too will want to love others like that-because we want to be like Jesus.