Relationship Goals 2 - Love Actually or Actually Love

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Context and Frame Sermon

In Series called ‘Hot Topics’ | Week 2
We have been speaking about dying to self | Last week started 2 week series on Marriage and Relationships | Identified that “Better” wife or husband isn’t always “Godly” wife or husband.
We asked are we measuring our marraige against Love Actually or Actually love | identified Christ Centered and Covenent Keeping
Not Casual, Contract|
Sermon 2
Very Original Name | Love Actualyl or Actualyl Love Part 2

Key Verse

Ephesians 5:22–30 ESV
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
Speak about Woman, then 2 more goals, then the man
New Testemant Throughout emphasises dignity of womanhood, indisputable that example and teaching of Christ have lifted Women to a position they didn’t have before | Galatians emphasises their spirituality equality, and in Corinthians Paul “pleads for a true mutuality in the physical sex relation”
The difference, is Role, not a difference in Worth. Me as Pastor - Difference in Role and authority, same in Worth.
No ‘difference in worth’ but difference in role within family for there to be order in hte home and complimentary roles that fit together | there must be leadership of husband and father and God
Husbands Commitment to wife and home responsabilities no less demanding that that asked for by a wife but the two are different | But complimentary.
Does that mean work and home life and who does what? absolutely not.
Full Dignitiy and respect | Washing Machine | Emma had Gastro
What does the word “Submit” actually mean? | Cowering under husbands? No, that’s what world will have you believe | Women can’t make decisions, absolutely not | Fall changed meaning | let’s read in Genesis
Genesis 3:8–13 ESV
And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
God came after Adam | God knew though
Same in essence | Different in Role | Perfect together | We are…one…flesh

Main message

Last week | Christ Centered | covenent keeping
Difference in Covenent…All anyone can remember is huppa huppa
If we are Christ…covenenet..then..
Last week one application was pray together | This week will take a little bit more work on your part. If your ready…say...
Foundation of Godly Marriage? money, earn more together? companionship? happiness? It’s not any of these | UNITY | Unified in something bigger than us
Genesis 1:27–28 ESV
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
God said what? Here is your mission
Soooo interesting, first thing said “you have mission” Last thing Jesus says? “You have a mission”
Why get married? | Serve better together |
God wants to UNITE | What ever God creates to unite the enemy will… | Serpent First thing | Seperates them | “ Are you sure???” | You need what you don’t have
MUST BE UNIFIED IN MISSION
Amos 3:3 ESV
“Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?
Do we have agreement? direction? What is division? Different vision…Proverbs says where there is no vision, the enemy will crumble.
God wants to unite, enemy will divide
Amazing Couple in the bible | Priscilla and Aquilla | Always mentioned together |
Romans 16:3–5 ESV
Greet Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks but all the churches of the Gentiles give thanks as well. Greet also the church in their house. Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in Asia.
What do we know? Both served together | Risked life | ran connect group | incredibly powerful why? | UNITED in MISSION | God wants to UNITE |
For all my single ladies and if the other one just is not there | If you want God Honouring, christ..mission..devil..start now - GO TO MANUAL
Live accord to word, and let God | Walk toward Jesus, Eyes up, little shuffle, little Glance | Then, Develop a friendship around JESUS, not sex, or fav team
What Mission Driven looks like? Maybe inside the Church, Hopefully outside, your whole life | Church is not building | If we love something together it unites, hate something together it unites, common enemy, common mission
Examples | Both like hospitality + meals, hate homelesses | Both hate injustice, both love helping etc etc |
What’s your…Mission?? I said work | “Oh man, we just tryna not kill each other and pay the bills |
UNITY IS NOT SAME | IT MEANS DO THINGS TOGETHER
Emma and Me | Together | Kids came, roles changed | Emma stepping into a new role | Why are you going to get Married? Because you can serve Jesus better togther
Maybe story about starting biz

Ok so if we are Mission Driven…we need to be…Devil Kickin

Spiritual enemy that HATES GOD | Hates anything FOR God | hates things that are TOGETHER FOR GOD…THat’s you
Ephesians 6:11–12 ESV
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
What do we know? | God Blesses, Enemy Attacks
When fighting Spouse | When Fihgting etc. NOT them
Imagine getting message about criminal |
1 Peter 5:8 ESV
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
We know enemy will never announce coming | father of lies | Attack in 1 of 2 ways;
Distraction or Seduction
Distraction = Serpent, Solomon = pleasing man, Judas = Money
Powerful little verse by Solomon in Song of Songs after some amazing compliments “Hair is like a flock of goats” “Neck is as tall as tower of david”
Song of Solomon 2:15 ESV
Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.”
Love Actually: He doesn’t take you out?
Actually Love: it’s not about what others say
Little nit picks (Foxes): Bottom Line: Enemy knows where you are vulnurable (your not compatible)
2nd way = Seductions
Ephesians 5:3 ESV
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
not even be named | not even hint | Greek translation means star far away.
Examples: Porn? A hint? | Innapropriate Content netflix | Dressing innapropriately | Innapropriate conversations....CHURHC WE MUST LOCK IT DOWN
Door Cracked | Or Slam Shut | Snake and Line Example impurity = poison
Proverbs 4:14–15 ESV
Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on.
Says it 5 different ways..
Why would I fight a temptation in the future, if I have the power to eliminate it today.
Love actually says “looking at that guy is ok!”
Actually Love says “If you lust in your heart, you have already committed adultery”
When I feel Tempted: Visualise Forward (Actually for everything) - I will have to get Judged in front of God, more harshly than you | Pain for wife | Pain for those around me | pain for my children
What do we do? ALERT, READY, CHRIST CENTERED MISSION DRIVEN, DEVIL KICKING, COVENENT KEEPING
Here comes the work
One Question today: In our marriage, where are we currently most vulnerable to spiritual attacks?
BE HONEST | Last week | Christ Centered | Asked to pray | When you are under attack | You’ll want to turn those up | Quote Scripture | You’ll have to KNOW scripture | You’ll want to STAND TOGETHER
To women: Gentle, if you’re tlaking, if you’re not backing up your man, please…get behind him
To the Men: Get off your Butt and lead | Lead them to Christ | Pray harder | Be a warrier | Lead them | Fight for them | When we are weak his strength is made perfect!!
I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN YOU
What if someone breaks in and wants your wife? What would you do?
I know I don’t know everyone’s relationship | Yes every relationship is different, challenges, hurt, pain, past hurt, but I DO KNOW if we are TOGETHER…CHRIST CENTERED, MISSION DRIVEN, DEVIL Kick, COVENENT KEEPING
If we aren’t there, I know I’m not in some ways we need to get to the MECHANIC to fix the RELATIONSHIP | Go to the MANUEL , to the WORD
**Call Emma on Stage**
It’s not easy, I love this lady, I love God…but it’s not easy...
it’s a CHOICE… Stand together and say “Devil..Not Today”
When yo uare fighting get together.... Choose to be CHRIST CENTERED, WE HAVE A MISSION, WE HAVE AN ENEMY, WE HAVE A COVENENT.
It’s a choice, you have to work at it.

Conclusion

Husbands - I said I would get to you...
The quality the love that we are required as husbands to give our wives is shown by the word Paul uses for Love = Agapao. There where other words in Greek and I think this is important because of the culture we are in ;
Erao = Deep passion between a man and a woman
Phileo and Stargo = used for affection specifcially in the family.
But paul uses Agapao = Love that is totally unselfish, seeks not its own satisfaction, nor even affection answering affection, but that strives for the highest good of the one loved. This love has as its standard and model the love of Christ for his church. ‘It means not only a practical concern for the welfare of the other, but a continual readiness to subordinate one’s own pleasure and advantage for the benefit of the other. This love means that one is eager to understand what the needs and interests of the other are, and will do everything in his power to supply those needs and further those interests.

Agape is the same love that God showed for us in Sending his son Jesus -
Actually love says;
John 3:16 ESV
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Do you want to be like Jesus? He washed the disciples feet - Through his actions and his teachings he elevated women from a place not occupied before and God’s word is URGING Men to lead your families.
He showed Love - He came to be the ultimate servant - He was beaten for 6 hours before being put on a cross to die for our sins…3 days later he rose again and now teh same spirit that rose Jesus from the Dead now lives in us -
Maybe you have not experienced his AMAZING love, or his healing power and all you need to do is confess it with your mouth and believe it in your heart INVITE TREVA AND JULIAN - Gonna sing “Lord, I NEED YOU” - If this is your prayer and your online you can say it or if you’re here you can come up the front during this song…and declare “LORD, I NEED YOU”
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