Wedding

We Were Made For This

Genesis 2:18–24 ESV

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

We are here today to celebrate a beautiful union given to us by God. Ali, Kollin, as you two come forward here today you come into the presence of friends, of family, and of God to enter into a union that you were created for. Mankind is intended to be in relationship with each other. This is something that we have always known, but the last year has helped many of us to understand that fact more deeply. Many of us have been impacted by loneliness because of the events of the last year or so, and even the most introverted people have recognized their need for human interaction. When God created us, he created us for one another, and he created men and women specifically to compliment one another. It is not good for man to be alone, and woman is handcrafted by God to be the perfect partner to man. Friendships are vital to our wellbeing, but today we are here to celebrate something far deeper than friendship. What we are here to celebrate is a bonding of souls, a relationship so intimate that two people come together to form one. Friendships, while wonderful, can sometimes fade. What you two are entering into today is a lifelong partnership that will never be broken.

Marriage is also a partnership that will lead you into personal growth. When we enter into marriage, we are forced to truly step outside of ourselves and consider another as more precious than us. Marriage calls us to sacrifice in ways that we haven’t before, to love in ways that aren’t always pretty, and to commit to something bigger than our own selfish desires.

Marriage is a lot of things; at times it will be full of joy, at others it will be full of difficulty. At times it will make your lives way easier, and at other times it will make life more difficult. Whatever else marriage is, it is a very good thing; and it is meant to point us to something even better.

It Points Us To Our Need For Jesus

Ali and Kollin, by coming here today you have recognized not only a need but a strong desire to commit yourselves to one another forever. This desire is good, and it is given to us by God. We naturally desire to be intimately connected to someone, and it is a beautiful thing when we find the right person to connect with.

Ali, I have known you for a long time. Im thankful to be your friend, and im honored that you would ask me to stand up here and speak at your wedding. I truly do care about you, and I can’t tell you how happy I am that you have found Kollin.

Kollin, I’ve known you for less time, but what I have come to know about you has made me happy for Ali’s sake. You know better than anyone that you have found yourself a good wife, one that is worth treasuring.

I am glad for both of you, that you are becoming one today and beginning this amazing journey together.

In the book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul considers the story of the first marriage between Adam and Eve, and that the two had become one flesh. In verse 32 of chapter 5 he says

Ephesians 5:32 ESV

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

The two coming together to become one truly is profound and it can be difficult for us to really understand, but Paul tells us that part of the reason God gave us marriage was to tell us something about Jesus. What is he trying to tell us?

Well marriage is an allegory for the relationship between Jesus and all who believe in him. We have found ourselves in a rather broken world, one that is filled with all sorts of evil and is no longer functioning properly. Most of us can admit to that and have no problem doing so; perhaps we get more uncomfortable when we are asked to admit that each of us have contributed to that brokenness. Yet its the truth, its what Scripture teaches, and if we are being honest with ourselves we know it to be true from experience. We don’t find ourselves with any way to excuse ourselves from the fate of a broken world because we have identified ourselves with it in our love for it.

But this is just the reason that Jesus came; it was for broken people like you and like me. He came to set things back into their natural order; to make us right again. He came to save us from the world and to make us into new creations that love him and love to do his will; to love other people and seek their welfare first. But you see, in order to do this Jesus needed to identify with sinners like us. He had to become one with us, taking our sin and paying for every last bit of it. As he becomes one with us he gets what belongs to us (death) and we get what belongs to him (everlasting life). He washes us, we submit to him out of love and gratitude for what he did for us.

So now I look to you, Kollin, and I look to you, Ali, and it is not lightly that I tell you that your marriage is meant to mirror our relationship with Christ.

Ali, God has specific duties for you to fulfill in light of this.

Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ali, you are called to love and submit to Kollin as your husband and as the head of your household. This is far from a small task and it is one that you ought to take seriously. Nowadays some would view this call as somehow demeaning to you, but it takes an incredibly strong person to lovingly and unconditionally support their husband. This isn’t meant to say that you don’t have a voice in your home, and in fact its just the opposite. If anything is going to get done in your marriage, you will need to be playing a central role. A husband is nothing without his wife, and Kollin will need you to lift him when he is low and to love him when he feels unloveable.

Kollin, God also has specific instructions for you.

Ephesians 5:25–28 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

God calls you to lead Ali in your lives ahead of you, but not in a domineering or cold way. With the same love that Christ has for his own people you are now called by God to love Ali. Again I remind you, Jesus gave up everything, even his own life for his people. Love Ali with this type of a love, never placing anything before her but God alone. Just as our wellbeing was the top priority of Jesus in his life, your top priority from here on out is the wellbeing of Ali. You must wash her in the word of God, always taking care of her spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You have been tasked with leading her to Jesus every day, for only her can present her to God washed clean.

Both of you have responsibilities to one another, and you must take these responsibilities seriously., but also understand that these will be difficult to perform at times. In one sense marriage is a one-time event, and it is in the eyes of God today that you come together as one. Yet in another sense, this intimacy will be forged over the many years you will have together. You will need to learn what it means to be married, and beyond that you will each need to learn what it means to specifically be married to one another. There is no 5 step process that guarantees a perfect marriage. There will be times that you both fail to love one another the way that you ought to, and that is why you are going to need help in this relationship.

Jesus Will Cause Us To Stand

You will need a community around you. Ali, seek out godly women who are able to help you navigate the difficulty of marrying a man. I’ve been told we can be a bit frustrating.

Kollin, seek out godly men who can help you know how to navigate being married to a woman. My wife is here so I believe the correct thing to say is that they are perfect in every way, but there will be times that you struggle to handle all that perfection. Find someone who has walked this road before, and don’t try to do it alone.

But most of all, always remember that Jesus Himself is available to each of you, and it is only with his help that you can weather any storm. You are both still young and still have a lot of changing to do over the course of your marriage, but Jesus will be the rock that you can both anchor to forever. Times will change, you each may be unrecognizable in another 40 years, but Jesus will make all of that a joyous experience.

Give Jesus a seat at the center of your marriage. Read the word together, pray together, seek after God together, and most of all, remember the strength and forgiveness that God gives you.

Ali, you are going to need to forgive Kollin at some point and it probably won’t take long, and sometimes it might hurt. Remember the forgiveness that Jesus freely offers you no matter how far you run from him.

Kollin, you will have no need to forgive Ali, but sometimes you will feel like you do. Remember the forgiveness that Jesus offers you, and extend the same to Ali.

I want to end with a story that Jesus told to some of his disciples a long time ago, and relate it to your own marriage.

Luke 6:47–49 ESV

Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”

You have a long and beautiful road ahead of you. Both in life and in this marriage take the time to build on the foundation Jesus has laid for you, and nothing will be able to shake what you are building.