GRACE RELATIONSHIPS

GRACE RELATIONSHIPS

ROMANS 11:6

I. INTRODUCTION

Maybe you have heard the theory that plants will respond to

kindness and compassion in a human voice and shrivel up and die

when bombarded with loud noises. Science faire projects have

proved that plants will flourish and thrive if you say "good

morning" to them in a pleasant voice every day.

Someone now has suggested that the same idea might also work on

people (like wifes or husbands)!

The theological concept that can make your marriage or any

relationship better is found in this scripture: ROMANS 11:6

Though Paul was not speaking specifically about marriage, he told

the church at Rome that a relationship based on earned honor ("I

treat you well because you deserve it") is different from a

relationship based on grace ("I love you whether you deserve it

or not.")

II. WHAT WE DESERVE

A. You Deserve a good marriage and family when people say:

1. Your choices are always wise

2. Your attitude is always above reproach

3. What you say is always correct

4. What you do is always correct

B. That description is what the Bible calls righteousness

1. Are you righteous? Then you deserve a good marriage

C. Not Righteous?

1. Do you ever get up on the wrong side of the bed?

2. Do you ever have a quick temper?

3. Are you ever sarcastic?

4. Do you ever make bad choices?

D. Paul said...

1. We should be glad that we don't get what we deserve!

III. WHAT GRACE DOES

A. The Goal

1. Divine Principle of Grace

a. Apply it to human relationships

b. No one has a perfect relationship with me

c. I don't have a perfect relationship with anyone

d. Marriage relationship - you know the worst about each other.

e. Only way your Marriage will survive and thrive is by grace.

f. You don't give them what they deserve.

g. Praise the Lord you don't get what you deserve!

2. Illustration

For example, a couple goes to a neighbor's house for a cookout.

For unknown reasons, the husband is in a bad mood. His wife

tells about some fairly minor, moderately funny event. As she

tells her tale, she says the episode in question happened "about

8 o'clock one evening." Her husband interrupts and says, "No, it

was 8:15." Technically, he was right. Strictly speaking, she

got what she deserved. She made a mistake. He corrected her.

But she needed grace. The precise time the event occurred really

didn't matter.

B. The Payback Game

1. Game Played

a. Eye for an eye

b. Tooth for a tooth

c. Cutting remark for a cutting remark

d. A criticism for a criticism

e. Temper tantrum for a temper tantrum

C. Jesus gave us a better way

1. The Way of Grace

a. Matt. 5:38-42

2. Parable about Grace

a. Matt 18:23-35

Let me retell it for modern families. The kingdom of God may be

compared to parents who lent their son $100,000 to buy a house.

They set up the loan as any commercial bank would, requiring

payments of $1,000 per month. The son made 2 payments the first

year and never made another payment.

This went on 5 years before the father finally said: "I want you

to vacate the house. I have been patient long enough. You owe

me $100,000."

The son went to his dad and begged and pleaded. The father

finally said: "Because I love you, I'm going to give you the

house. You owe me nothing."

The son went home immediately and was going to tell his wife the

good news when she came in from shopping. Before he could speak,

she apologized to him, saying she had taken $10 from his secret

hiding place, where he usually kept extra money, to buy milk and

bread for breakfast the next morning.

The husband started yelling: "Why can't you be more responsible?

Why do you always take my money? That's the last straw. I'm

getting out of here. We're getting a divorce."

The man's father heard of his son's tantrum and called him. "You

evil person," "I forgave you the great debt you owed me, yet you

could not forgive your wife this small amount."

b. Justice or Mercy?

c. Wife had taken the money without his permission

d. Grace was far more appropriate than the letter the law.

3. Illustration about a graceful marriage relationship

a. Island in the South Pacific - Kiniwata

The usual price for a bride in that region, where the marriages

were arranged according to custom, was 3 or 4 cows. One

particularly plain woman named Sarita was loved by a man named

Johnny Lingo. People told this woman's father to ask for 3 cows

but hold out for 2 until he was sure Johnny Lingo would pay 1.

Johnny heard rumors of this bargaining ploy and went immediately

to Sarita's father. He offered him 8 cows for Sarita. The

payment was unprecedented. No one had ever paid more than 6 cows

for even the most beautiful woman, and the object of Johnny's

affection was not even attractive!

When questioned about such an exaggerated overpayment, he asked:

Do you ever think what it must mean to a woman to know that her

husband has settled on the lowest price for which she can be

bought? And then later, when the women talk, they bragg of what

their husbands paid for them. One says 4 cows, another maybe 6.

How does she feel, the woman who was sold for 1 or 2? This could

not happen to my Sarita."

An amazing transformation took place...Over the next few months,

Sarita, like a South Pacific flower, blossomed before everyone's

eyes. She became the most beautiful person on the island. Why?

Because a loving husband paid 8 cows for her hand in marriage

when 1 cow would have been sufficient!

b. That is Grace!

c. More than we deserve

d. That is the secret in happy marriages

4. Jesus gives us grace

5. Died for us

a. Bought with a price - free...NOT! cheap!

b. Grace relationship possible with God