Untitled Sermon (18)

Introduction

SERVE Every Person You Meet

Review Lesson 7

First, let’s review Lesson 7, where you learned that we can use the READ acrostic to harness the power of your emotions the same way a sailor harnesses the power of the wind. One of the benefits of learning to read and manage your own emotions is that you will get better and better at reading and responding to the emotions of others, which will open many new doors for you to demonstrate your God-given gifts to deepen relationships with people in your life.

This is exactly what the apostle Peter had in mind when he penned his first epistle. In I Peter 4:10 he wrote, “As each of you has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”  As this passage indicates, God has given every believer some kind of a gift for serving others, and he expects us to be good stewards of those gifts. As Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 25 reveals, the Lord will actually expect an investment report from each one of us some day as to how we used that gift to multiply the number of people who would believe the gospel and enjoy him forever.

Would you like to learn how to use your gift for serving others to the max? If so, learn the secret of eagles. Eagles are often seen soaring at altitudes or 10 or 15,000 feet. They do not have the strength or the stamina to get to such heights by flapping their wings. So how do they get there?

They search for thermals, updrafts of warm air between weather fronts above mountains or over freshly plowed fields. As soon as eagles sense an updraft of air, they spread their wings wide to capture that upward power that carries them to heights they could never reach on their own. But it’s not the eagle that God wants us to imitate. It’s the thermal. The wind, the warm wind under and eagle’s wings that lifts this majestic bird to the heavens.

In other words, if you want to use your gifts for serving to the max, ask God to motivate and enable you to put wind under the wings of every person you meet, become more aware of their concerns and needs and engage them in a way that takes them to new heights of loving God and serving his people.

SERVE acrostic

One way to turn this skill into a habit is to use our 4th RW acrostic. To become more other-aware and other-engaging, SERVE every person you meet: S.E.R.V.E.

Smile

S: This stands for “smile,” and it is not just a placeholder for S. In most cultures, smiling is an incredibly valuable relational skill. The following are some interesting facts about smiles.

Smiling is a natural and universal human characteristic. It is common to all people groups, does not have to be taught, and is generally seen as a positive and reassuring gesture.

Smiling improves your health. It reduces levels of stress-enhancing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, increases levels of pain-killing endorphins and sleep-assisting serotonin, reduces blood pressure, and boosts your immune system. Smiling is a free and natural drug!

Smiling makes you look more attractive, courteous, and approachable. People are more likely to trust, like, and seek assistance from a smiling person. When you smile, your face is saying, “All is well. I’m safe. I like you. Come and talk with me.”

Smiling is contagious. One smiling person can change the mood of a room full of people. Why? Because when people see a smile, “mirror neurons” fire in their brains and evoke a similar neural response that makes them feel like smiling themselves … and pretty soon they are.

Smiling makes you look younger. The muscles you use to smile actually lift your entire face and make you look three to four years younger. As Meryl Streep observed, “The best face-lift is a smile.”

Smiling makes you look competent and successful. Smile and you will appear to be more confident, self-assured, accessible, and helpful. You are also more likely to be hired and promoted than people who have habitually blank faces or frowns. A smile has real financial value.

Here is a fact that really surprised me. People can tell with 90% accuracy if you’re smiling during a telephone call. Smiling changes the shape of the soft palate of your mouth. Your words sound softer, smoother and send a signal that you are smiling, that you are happy to be talking with a person, which usually makes that person feel happy to be talking with you!

When I first learned these facts, I was not a natural smiler. I tended to walk around with a blank look on my face unless there was a compelling reason to smile. Well, that has changed. I now smile almost everywhere I go. When the sliding doors open as I walk into a grocery store, I smile. As I push my cart up and down the aisles, I try to catch people’s eyes so they can see me smile at them. It is actually fun! Almost every time others see my smile, they start to smile. The same thing happens when I walk through airports. Some days I get a 100% response rate!

Of course, smiling should begin at home. When your roommate, spouse or children see your face for the first time in the morning, or as you walk through the door at the end of the day, encourage them with a smile! Do the same thing as you walk into church or into your place of work.

Smiles cost you nothing. You cannot empty your smile reservoir, and the more of them you give out, the more you will encourage the people who encounter you throughout the day.

Numbers 6:24–26 ESV

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Proverbs 12:25 ESV

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

Proverbs 15:13 ESV

A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.

Matthew 7:12 ESV

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Explore and Empathize

E: This leads us to the second step in the SERVE acrostic, which is to “explore and empathize.” If you want to become more other-aware, show sincere interest in other people and ask meaningful questions about their lives, which opens the door for understanding, empathy and acts of compassion.

For most of my life, I have had a difficult time starting meaningful conversations with people. I am a card-carrying introvert, and I do not naturally engage people I do not know well. As I started thinking about my interactions more carefully, I realized that the thing that made conversations difficult for me was that I tended to use superficial questions. Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it? How long have you lived in California? Why are you traveling to Florida?

The trouble with these kinds of questions is that they invite short answers, which means I had to come up with another question right away. This kind of shallow chit chat exhausted me. That all changed one day when I learned the power of asking personal questions that invite longer and more meaningful answers.

For example, when having dinner with couples I have just met at a seminar, I now ask a question like this: “I’d like to get know you a little better. When you first met the special person in your life, what character quality did you see that made you think, ‘This could be the one?’” That kind of question invites a meaningful answer that praises another person, which makes everyone at the table feel good.

If I am staying with some people I don’t know well and we are enjoying an evening cup of coffee, I try to move the conversation to a deeper level by asking a question like this: “What would you do tomorrow if you knew you could not fail?” What kind of information could you learn through that kind of question? Dreams! Dreams people may have had long ago and have not talked about for years.

These kinds of questions not only invite deeper answers, but they also invite answers that are surrounded by warm and pleasant emotions that inevitably moves a conversation to a more and more personal and meaningful level. Of course, if you already know about some important facts in someone’s life like health issues or exciting job opportunities, drawing them out on these matters is a great way to have richer conversations.

Would you like to learn how to ask these kinds of questions? If so, there is a web link in your study guide that will take you to a blog post, which has over a hundred such questions. I encourage you to print it out and review it any time you are going to spend time with people you would like to get to know better. As you learn about other people’s joys and dreams, you may also learn about their struggles and heartaches. This gives you the opportunity to exercise the gifts of empathy and compassion.

Empathy is the ability to discern and vicariously experience the thoughts and feelings of another person, or more simply, to feel what others feel. Empathy opens the ways for compassion, which is a genuine concern for someone who is suffering, accompanied by a desire to alleviate that suffering.

There is another web link in your study guide that describes a process for enhancing your God-given capacity for empathy and compassion. The process involves praying, using of all your senses, especially your ears and your eyes, giving verbal and physical cues that show you really care, asking caring questions, drawing on your memory and imagination, and finding ways to encourage and serve others in meaningful ways. Jesus modeled each of these relational qualities repeatedly during his earthly ministry, and he wants us to learn to do the same so that we can imitate him as we engage the people he brings into our lives every day.

Proverbs 20:5 ESV

The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

Romans 12:15 ESV

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

1 Peter 3:8 ESV

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

Reconcile

R: The third element of the SERVE acrostic is to “reconcile.”

This can occur in three ways. To begin with, if we realize we have offended someone or sense that a person seems to be pulling away, we can go to that person and make a sincere effort to discover and address what we may have done to cause the offense. This is where the many peacemaking principles in the Bible can be applied … things like confession, forgiveness, negotiation and reconciliation.

To see a detailed explanation of these principles, I encourage you to go to the peacemaking web link in your study guide.

Another opportunity to be a reconciler is when we notice tensions between friends or co-workers. Although we should never insert ourselves into others’ conflicts impulsively, we should be sensitive to the times when we can help others by living out Jesus’ wonderful promise in Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

If you ever sense that God is calling you to help others in this way, I encourage you to go the peacemaking section of our website and download the free ebooklet, Leading Christians through Conflict,” which provides detailed guidance on how you can serve as a conflict coach or mediator.

The most important way to serve as a reconciler is to realize when God has softened someone’s heart and made him open to receiving the gospel. As Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:18-20, one of the highest callings we have as Christians is to reconcile people to the Lord through the gospel of Christ.

Value

V: This leads us to the fourth step of the SERVE acrostic, which is to “value people” by expressing respect, appreciation and thankfulness for others.

Most of us miss countless opportunities to do this every day.

Starting at home, we can thank our spouse for working hard to provide for the family, for maintaining a comfortable home, for cooking a good meal, for being cheerful and encouraging throughout the day.

We can praise our children for work well done, for thoughtful acts toward friends, for doing their chores, for being kind to their siblings.

If we work in an office, we can thank the receptionist for her warm smile or an assistant for completing a project on time. We can praise coworkers for their creativity and contributions to the team. We can express appreciation for a supervisor who trusts us with new projects or forgives a failure. This kind of appreciation and thankfulness can also overflow to vendors, clients and customers, as well.

How about expressing appreciation to the music director or other volunteers, who serve faithfully in your church? Rather than simply saying, “Great sermon,” to your pastor, mention a particular point that gave you a new insight into God’s grace or showed you a new way to live the gospel in your daily life. Don’t stop on Sunday! Value people throughout your week.

After eating in a restaurant, poke your head into the kitchen and thank the cook for a great meal. How long do you think it has been since someone thought to do that?

Do the same with the woman stocking vegetables in the grocery store. “I sure appreciate the great produce you provide for us every week!”

Encourage the custodian cleaning the airport restroom and the maid who cleans your hotel room. “Thanks for keeping this room so clean!”

Opportunities to value others are right in front of you every day. Don’t pass them up, especially with people you encounter on a regular basis. They will feel joy when they see you walk into a room, which may someday open the door for sharing the gospel with them!

Encourage

E: The fifth step of the SERVE acrostic is to “encourage others,” which summarizes the entire acrostic. To encourage simply means to “give courage, to make others stronger, to inspire them.”

To put it in terms of our eagle metaphor, to encourage others means to put wind under their wings, to lift them up with the warmth of your smile, your empathy and your appreciation so that they are inspired to do things beyond their normal habits, strength or confidence.

Remember that Starbucks barista I mentioned at the beginning of this lesson, who compelled me to resign from the International Introverts Society? Well, as I watched her complete the previous customer’s latte, I noticed that she used a syrup dispenser to paint a lovely pattern in the foam on the top of the coffee. When she reached for a plastic cover to put on the cup, I leaned forward and said, “Don’t do that!”

She look up at me with a surprised expression on her face, wondering if she had done something wrong. I gave her a big smile, and with a warm voice I said, “You’ve painted such a lovely picture in the foam; you should let him see it.”

More confused than ever, she glanced at the other customer, who responded by smiling and saying, “Yes, I’d like to see it.”

With some hesitation, she placed the cup on the counter. The customer said, “That is beautiful,” and then he put an extra dollar in the tip jar. When she looked back at me, she too was smiling. I asked her how long she had worked for Starbucks. She said, “Three months. I just moved here from Ethiopia.”

“Well, with artistic skills and customer service like that, you’ll soon be running your own store,” I commended her.

Her smile doubled and her face was glowing. As I walked away from the kiosk, I knew I had put wind under wings. But, you know what? There was also wind under my wings as I experienced the marvelous promise of Proverbs 11:25 … “Whoever refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

That was the day that I dropped my membership in the International Introverts Society. One of the foundational rules of that fellowship is that you do not voluntarily engage strangers unless it is absolutely necessary. That is how I lived most of my life. I stayed in my own little world unless I was required to talk with others. However, that barista introduced me to the joys of serving and encouraging others … even complete strangers.

Of course, as an introvert, I’ll always have an inclination to be quiet, to enjoy my privacy, to recharge my energy and creativity in a quiet cabin in the mountains with just my wife and my dog. But, the SERVE acrostic has introduced me to the joy of deliberately coming out of my shell and engaging other people. To smile, explore other’s lives and show empathy for their struggles, to welcome opportunities to be a peacemaker, to value others and never pass up an opportunity to put wind under their wings … that is what gives me joy!

I hope you will learn to do the same by memorizing all four RW acrostics and pray that God would inspire you to use them to serve every person he brings into your life every day, reflecting to them the love you yourself have received through Jesus Christ.

Movie Clip: Cinderella Man

As we seek to develop our capacity to serve other people, to be increasingly Other-Aware and Other-Engaging, let’s watch one more clip from the movie Cinderella Man. As you recall, this movie tells the story of a man named James J Braddock, who is played by Russell Crowe. Braddock was a champion boxer, who was reduced to poverty during the Great Depression. Every day he would go out looking for some kind of manual labor, hoping to bring home just a little bit of money to buy food for his family.

This scene is a little earlier in the movie than the other scenes we have watched. He is returning from the docks, where he failed to find work that day. You can easily imagine how discouraged and anxious he must feel. He is immediately greeted with the disheartening news that his son has been stealing food.

How would you react? With anger, embarrassment? With all of the tension already bottled up inside him, it would be all too natural to let it out with harsh words and physical discipline. That is not how Braddock reacts. Watch how he models the key elements of the READ acrostic as he keeps his emotions under control. As the scene progresses, you will also see him use all five elements of the SERVE acrostic in a life changing encounter with his son.

Pay careful attention to the facial expressions and body language in this scene. Try to imagine what each person is thinking and feeling. Notice Braddock’s use of pronouns, as he switches from second person singular to first person plural. It is a subtle change, but it sends a powerful message to a little boy who has been living with deep fears for far too long.