Abigail; The Pearl Among the Sand
Notes
Transcript
Ma
Ma
This was what I called my mom; Ma.
It was fun, it was not disrespectful, just what worked for us.
She was a lot of fun.
I can remember many times my mom on the floor playing games with my sister and me.
We’d play board games, cards, whatever all the time.
Evenings and weekends were filled w/ activities like these.
Remember, I was raised by a single mother.
My parents divorced when I was young, the week of my 2nd birthday their divorce was final.
1962. Nobody got divorced in 1962; except my parents, it seemed.
The divorce rate since has skyrocketed. But at the time...
My mom had to go to work. She was a secretary in the sales dept. of a TV station. She never made much money. My grandparents helped out quite a bit. But, for the most part, she was on her own raising me and my older sister.
That’s one of the reasons why we never went out and did things. She couldn’t afford it. Minor league baseball team in Wichita, dinners out, movies.
Well, except Drive-ins. We’d do drive-ins b/c you paid per carload. Cousins might go w/ us. I’d start out in my pajamas b/c I’d be out after the cartoon and the adults in the car could watch their movie.
My mom was the kind of mom who was always there. Even when I didn’t necessarily want her to be there.
I grew up playing baseball, and my team would have practices and games when she would be the only one in the stands watching.
It was so embarrassing.
Now, it seems like, all the parents set up their camping chairs or sit in their cars just to watch practice. Not them.
My mom. The only one there.
She told me after I went off to college she and my g-parents missed it so much they kept going to watch the guys I had played w/. Summer league I was playing on 2 teams, 6 nights/week, and they’d be at most of them. They missed it. So they kept showing up.
When Sara and I had our 3, she would plan her visits in the summer so that she could go to their games. It’s a hot, windy, dusty, Indiana afternoon and there she is, sneezing her head off (allergies), but she was there.
And that meant a lot to my kids b/c she showed up to the activities that were important to them.
When she retired, she volunteered at the hospital in their hospitality area where she would go and rock the babies in their NICU, visit patients, make pillows for heart surgery patients, that sort of thing.
I went to seminary and into ministry and the one, best, wisest piece of advice she gave me was just show up. Be there.
When you church members are in the hospital, you don’t have to stay long, just drop in.
When your kids are playing and performing, show up.
Those are my best memories of my mom growing up.
How did she know that, b/c being a single mom is hard. Too often she had to deal w/ stuff, like a rebellious teenager, by herself.
So, she appreciated when ppl showed up for her.
My mom was surrounded by ppl who made poor decisions. My dad, from the stories I hear, bad news.
The ppl she worked w/ worked hard, partied harder.
There was a lot of sand in my mom’s life and she ended up being the pearl.
You know how pearls are formed. A grain of sand finds its way into a clam and irritates the inside of the calm. So the clam’s secretions, like saliva, form a smooth, iridescent layer around that grain of sand that gets harvested for your pearl earrings and necklace.
There is a lot of sand on the ocean floor. And, not a lot of pearls.
Be the pearl among the sand. When everyone else is foolishly not showing up for the ppl that matter most, be the pearl.
My mom went thru some hard times as a single mom and had some rough edges. But, God used those experiences to teach her the importance of showing up when nobody else would.
Being a mom is hard anyway. But, when your surrounded by sand it’s even harder. Those hard time will change you for the better if you let them.
Each layer on that pearl is a deeper level of wisdom that leads to better decisions.
This morning, for mother’s day, we are going to look at the story of Abigail, David, and Nabal.
Abigail’s husband was a fool. David was usually a wise man, but about to do something foolish. Abigail demonstrated the wisdom that saved a lot of ppl that day.
Moms, let me just encourage you. Be courageous and wise like Abigail.
Be the pearl even when you are surrounded by sand.
The story comes from 1 Samuel 25.
First, a little background.
Background
Background
Back in the day, shepherds would tend the flocks of their masters. They were not soldiers by any stretch. So, they were vulnerable as were the animals to raiders who would kill the shepherds and steal the flocks.
David and 600 guerilla fighters were cleaning out the area of wilderness tribes and raiders like these and securing the promised land for Saul who was still king.
Secondarily, they were protecting the Jewish ranchers, their servants, flocks and herds.
It was customary during the shearing seasons for the ranchers to pay the king’s army out of respect and appreciation for protecting them. It wasn’t the law. Nor was it the army’s first priority. This is just the things were done. It was expected.
Kind of like tipping a waiter or waitress.
David and his men had been protecting the property of a man named Nabal. They had done an exemplary job and expected to be rewarded for it.
But, the problem was, Nabal was a nasty man and he was not about to do what was customary or right.
The Characters
The Characters
There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.
Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord.
You know David. He is not the king, yet. Saul is the king.
David is his primary general, leader of the army, out doing what the king’s army was supposed t/b doing.
Next, we are introduced to Nabal. He is a very wealthy man w/ 4,000 animals.
The Hebrew word for very wealthy, literally means, heavy. His wealth was heavy. He was loaded.
He was surly and mean in his dealings. Not that he was unintelligent. He was very bright, shrewd, would not hesitate to cheat in a bsns deal to get the better of his rival.
Then, we meet Abigail. The exact opposite of her husband in many ways. The same, in that she too was intelligent. She got your attention right away w/ her looks and kept it w/ her smarts.
What would she have seen in Nabal to choose to marry him? Probably an arranged marriage. She was making the best of it. She would have had few other options.
We could expect that there would have been conflict in their marriage. If he is as dishonest as she is honest, it would have created a volatile home life.
An even bigger conflict was smoldering and about to explode.
The Conflict
The Conflict
Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?”
David’s men approached Nabal to ask for what had been customary for years. They were polite and respectful in their request.
They had been faithful, efficient, and quiet all season in their protection of Nabal’s property. They had done a great service on his behalf.
They didn’t ask for anything specific. They just asked Nabal to pay them whatever he felt their service was worth.
Remember, had they not, Nabal could have been wiped out entirely. His flocks, herds, and servant could have stolen by any of these wilderness raiders.
But, Nabal was a foolish man. How many times to you see the words “I” or “my” said or implied in these 2 verses?
Why should I...
my bread, my water, my meat, my shearers.
Completely self-centered.
Whose sheep is it anyway? Who gave Nabal the intelligence and ability to build his bsns? It’s all God’s. He just lets us use his stuff while we’re here.
David’s men report back to David what Nabal said. They show up empty handed and w/ words full of foolishness and arrogance.
David said to his men, “Each of you strap on your sword!” So they did, and David strapped his on as well. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies.
400 fighting men to deliver a message to shepherds.
What do you think that says?
David was ticked off. Normally, a wise and measured man. For some reason he let his emotions get the best of him. This was out of character for him, but it was what it was.
Overkill. Have you heard the phrase to kill a cockroach w/ a shotgun. The roach will die all right. And, you’ll take out the wall, the floor, and any appliance that unfortunately was set in w/in the pattern of the pellets.
He didn’t need 400 men to take out 1 tightwad. David was out of control right now.
This was the same David whose heart was after God’s. And he wrote several times in the Psalms about waiting on God to lead him against his enemies.
There was no wait in David. He reacted rashly, and impulsively in this moment.
Who was Nabal in the grand scheme. But David was going to put him in his place, literally, his grave.
One of Nabal’s servants goes over his head, reports to Abigail what has transpired. She knows they are in serious trouble.
The king’s army, most effective general against her servants and shepherds is no match. There will be blood in the streets that night and it will all be that of people she cares about.
Well, except her husband.
The Contrition
The Contrition
Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal.
My wife can put together a feast in short amount of time if she is surprised by a visitor. Give her a little time and there is no comparison to what Sara can do.
Abigail did this in an afternoon. Talk about organization and attention to detail. Leadership as she instructed her servants what to bring together. It was work for everyone.
It would be a stretch to treat 600 fighting men w/ big appetites who were looking forward to a little afternoon workout w/ what she sent. But it was the best she could do on short notice. Still, pretty good.
A testament to her intelligence and wisdom.
Nabal did not ask her for advice about what to do for David and she didn’t tell him what she was doing for David.
Had she approached Nabal w/ this plan it would have instant suicide. He would not have put up w/ such a contradiction to his original plan.
Did she defy him? Yes and no. What she did, she did w/out his knowledge but it was for his own good. She saved his life, and the lives of of every male in his household and the lives of their animals.
This was David’s foolish and rash plan
May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!”
Yes Nabal. But also, every father, son, brother, husband, nephew and uncle. The women would have been left devastated and destitute.
Picture the scene. The only thing louder than the hooves of 400 horses thumping the ground was the growling of the stomachs of 400 hungry horsemen.
They ride up on the gift being transported by Abigail’s servant. Shortly after, she rides up on her donkey.
Horses are the transport of soldiers.
Donkeys are the transport of servants.
Abigail approached David, knelt down, face to ground the way you would humbly make a request of your king.
She got David’s attention w/ the food. And she got his attention w/ her posture. Her humble contrition on behalf of her husband.
This was obviously part of her well-thought-out plan. More evidence of her wisdom and intelligence.
She knew exactly what approach she’d take w/ David. This was no shoot from the hip, ad lib.
David reacted impulsively. She thought this out.
Wisdom, maturity think thru the plan anticipating reactions and consequences.
That’s why children run into the street. They don’t think thru potential consequences. Nor does a husband who chooses to have an affair. A foolish and immature move.
In the posture of a subject to her king, 6 x she called herself David’s maidservant. And 8x she called David her lord.
She knew her husband. She didn’t try to candy-coat what he did or defend him. She took responsibility. (v.25)
She said, the name Nabal means ‘fool’. He is as he is labeled.
She said she didn’t see David’s men. On her. If she had it would have gone very differently.
There is a very important leadership principle that every good leader follows.
Every good leader gives credit and takes blame.
Nabal was no good leader. Abigail had more leadership in her pinking than Nabal did in his foolish head.
She wasn’t there then, she is now to offer a different kind of response.
She knew she was looking at the next king. As if she was saying, “Don’t ruin your record with murder. You’re bigger than that. You have been treated poorly, foolishly by my husband. But murder is not the answer. Wait. Take what I’ve brought as a peace offering, turn around, and go back.”
“You’ll have to live w/ that track record and you don’t need that.”
Don’t we all need that at times in our life? You’re better than that. Don’t react that way. Don’t ruin your future opportunities w/ an impulsive act now.
That’s a summary of vv.26-31
As a result, David showed contrition
David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.
Acted impulsively in that moment but was humble enough to receive her words and accept her gift.
He was teachable. Is heart was right.
No one is right all the time. And, when we’re not, we need someone whose got the wisdom and maturity to speak to us in a way that we get it.
Nabal’s life was in the balance. Not only his, but every male in the household.
She was still human. There had to have been a part of her, that at least for a brief moment, paused and thought, this was her chance to be released from this fool.
If she’d just kept her mouth shut and her head down David would have solved her biggest problem. Of course, he would have created many more for her.
But had she not been able to rise above the sand that engulfed her, she never would have become that pearl.
In the heat of the moment, she had the stuff to do the right thing. Even tho’ the wrong thing would have immediately solved her biggest problem, long-term would have been a problem for her.
So, how did this end. Did she go home and explain to her husband how she saved his life and he responded by putting his arms lovingly around her and holding her, expressing his gratitude?
Not exactly.
The Conclusion
The Conclusion
When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until daybreak. Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone.
He died 10 days later.
She knew whatever chance she had of his gratitude was practically nil if he was drunk.
So, she slipped into bed, pulled the covers over her head, went to sleep and planned to tell him she saved his life in the morning.
Maybe, probably, before she fell asleep she poured her heart out to God, pleading w/ Him that her lot in life would improve. She was doing the best she could. She had just made a significant positive difference in the lives of so many in just a few hours.
Now, she had to confess everything to her abusive and foolish husband and deal w/ his wrath.
The next morning, he was sober, she told him the whole story.
He had a heart attack. We don’t know if it was b/c he was so mad at her, or the thought that 400 of the king’s best soldiers had been on their way to murder him.
So, in the end, God solved her biggest problem. And, did so beyond what she could have imagined.
When David heard what happened he proposed to her. She became his wife and joined him in the palace.
There is no situation that God cannot handle for us. He may not do it your way. But He will do it His way.
God let her spend the night depending on Him. Then 2 weeks later she buried her husband.
God had it handled. He handled David’s problem of a fool disrespecting him. David didn’t need vengeance. He needed to forgive the man and let God take care of it. He did.
God handled Abigail’s problem. Had she been passive, fearful, or arrogant in her own right, she would have been trapped in the same sand engulfing all them men around her.
But she was able to rise above the sand and be the pearl that God created her to be.
Applications
Applications
Wisdom
Wisdom
God promised that when the HS indwells us He will bring His own wisdom w/ him so we don’t have to rely on our own.
See as much as the picture as you can and expect God to know even more. Consider the consequences of your actions.
If you lack wisdom ask God and He will give it to you in an abundance.
Pray and ask. Make better decisions.
Divide
Divide
When you face a complex problem, and most of our problems are, divide them out and deal w/ them 1 at a time.
The whole problem can be overwhelming and cause us to curl up in the fetal position and passively hope it all goes away.
But, w/ God’s help, break it up. Abigail had a problem w/ Nabal, David, and getting a sizeable gift put together in an afternoon.
She did it one at a time. And it worked.
She put the gift together. She planned her approach to David. Then she laid it all out to her husband. And, it worked.
Break your issues down and deal w/ them one at a time.
Wait
Wait
Do not react when you are emotional. Let the pressure out of the situation then decide what to do.
Don’t be impulsive. Don’t react out of anger. Don’t say anything. Walk away and wait until you can think things thru w/ wisdom and self control.
Self-control is a fruit of the HS, a gift from God, use it for all it’s worth and avoid more trouble.
Being a mom is hard anyway. But, when your surrounded by sand it’s even harder. Those hard time will change you for the better if you let them.
Each layer on that pearl is a deeper level of wisdom that leads to better decisions.