God's Design for the Home and Workplace

One day after Dr. Albert Einstein had moved to his home at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, N. J., the telephone rang in the office of the Dean of the Princeton Graduate School. The voice at the other end inquired: “May I speak with Dean Eisenhart, please?”

Advised that the Dean was not in, the voice continued: “Perhaps then you will tell me where Dr. Einstein lives.”

Dean Eisenhart’s secretary replied that she could not do this, since Dr. Einstein wished to have his privacy respected. The voice on the telephone dropped to a near whisper: “Please do not tell anybody, but I am Dr. Einstein. I am on my way home, and have forgotten where my home is!”

Unfortunately, many in our society today can’t find their way to the kind of home God desires for us. Not only has there been a breakdown of home and family, the modern workplace is falling short of God’s design.

How do we fix this? I believe we need to return to God’s direction for our homes and workplaces. The Apostle Paul has been teaching the Ephesian Church how to live out their new lives in Christ. He is giving them God’s directions for their new relationships in God’s new society, the church. Being filled with the Spirit means that there will be new relationships in our homes and in our workplaces.

Ephesians 6:1-9 shows us the duties of Spirit-filled children, parents, employees, and employers.

Let’s read Paul’s teaching.

Ephesians 6:1–9 NKJV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. 5 Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; 6 not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. 9 And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.

First, let’s look at the duty of Spirit-filled children. (Eph. 6:1-3)

Children are wonderful, aren’t they? Right? Until they’re not.

They don’t come out of the gate acting like they’re supposed to. They have a will of their own. And it takes an external force to channel that will.

The Minnesota Crime Commission a number of years ago issued a report that read:

Every baby starts life as a little savage. He is completely selfish and self-centered. He wants what he wants when he wants it: his bottle, his mother’s attention, his playmate’s toys, his uncle’s watch, or whatever. Deny him these and he seethes with rage and aggressiveness which would be murderous were he not so helpless. He’s dirty, he has no morals, no knowledge, no developed skills. This means that all children, not just certain children but all children, are born delinquent. If permitted to continue in their self-centered world of infancy, given free rein to their impulsive actions to satisfy each want, every child would grow up a criminal, a thief, a killer, a rapist.

Strong words, right? An overgeneralization for sure, but left to grow up without external direction and discipline, they will probably not become pillars of the community.

But even more than the external force of parents’ discipline, children need the internal force and power of the Holy Spirit to please God and be part of a Spirit-filled home.

In these first three verses, we see a couple of things.

A. The Command to Obey (6:1a)

Ephesians 6:1 NKJV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Paul said in verse 1a, “Children, obey your parents.”

In the first set of relationships, that is, of wives and husbands, wives are to submit to their husbands (5:22).

But, Paul used a stronger word in this second set of relationships. Paul’s command is that children are to obey their parents.

Before going on to note the reasons why children are to obey their parents, it is important to make two points.

First, the word for “children” (ta tekna) may refer not only to toddlers but also to older children still living with their parents.

And second, Paul’s letter to the Ephesians was almost certainly read in the congregation’s worship service, indicating that children were certainly in the congregation’s worship service.

B. The Reasons to Obey (6:1b-3)

Ephesians 6:1–3 NKJV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

There are a number of reasons for children to obey their parents.

First, children must obey their parents because obedience is the Lord’s will. Paul said in verse 1b, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.” Paul is writing to the church, and this portion of his letter is directed to Christian children in the congregation. Only those in the body of Christ can live “in the Lord.” And, only Spirit-filled children can live as God directs in his word.

Second, children must obey their parents because obedience is right. Paul said in verse 1c, “…for this is right.” This second reason for obeying parents falls into the realm of natural law. In every culture in every corner of the world it is right for children to obey their parents. There is no culture where children do not need to obey their parents. God has placed his natural law into the heart of every human being, and there is an instinctive understanding that it is right for children to obey their parents. Even in the animal kingdom. Have you ever seen a momma dog or cat reprimand their little ones? They do. A swat of the paw or a harmless, but a little painful, nonetheless.

Third, children must obey their parents because obedience is the requirement of the Fifth Commandment. Paul said in verse 2a, “Honor your father and mother.” There is a difference between “obey” and “honor.” “Obey has to do with action, and honor has to do with attitude.” To “honor” parents means “to attribute high status, to respect” them. Sometimes children are Christians and their parents are not. Children must still obey their parents insofar as their parents act in accordance with God’s word. But, on the other hand, if the parents require their children to do something that is not in accordance with God’s word, then the children—while still respecting their parents—must obey God rather than their parents.

And fourth, children must obey their parents because obedience is promised a reward. Paul said in verse 2b-3, “…(this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.’ ” Paul combines the two times the Fifth Commandment is given in the Old Testament (in Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16). The Commandment promises a blessed and long life to children who honor their parents. It is helpful to note that it is a general promise and not an absolute promise because sometimes even godly children do suffer and die young. Nevertheless, as a general rule, children who honor their parents enjoy a blessed and long life.

II. The Duty of Spirit-Filled Parents (6:4)

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

There are two commands given to parents.

A. The Negative Command (6:4a)

First, notice the negative command.

Paul said in verse 4a, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.” Paul’s command is directed to fathers, it seems to me, because fathers are the heads of their homes. However, the command would apply to both parents.

Parents are not to provoke their children to anger. What are some possible causes of angering children:

Failing to take into account the fact that they are kids

Comparing them to others

Disciplining them inconsistently

Failing to express approval, even at small accomplishments

Failing to express our love to them

Disciplining them for reasons other than willful disobedience and defiance

Pressuring them to pursue our goals, not their own

Withdrawing love from them or overprotecting them

B. The Positive Command (6:4b)

Paul said in verse 4b, “…but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Parents need to invest time in raising their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The second word, “admonition,” seems to refer primarily to verbal education, while the first word (paideia) means training by discipline, even by punishment.” All of this takes time. But, Spirit-filled parents will invest the time in raising their children this way.

Samuel and Susanna Wesley were dedicated followers of Christ. Samuel was a rector in the Church of England during the late 1700’s. Altogether they had nineteen children. John was the fifteenth child and Charles, the eighteenth. Eleven of their children died; eight lived. Imagine their heartaches!

There were precious few conveniences in those days: no automatic washers; no electric refrigerators; no running water in the home; no telephone; no radio; no quick means of communication or travel. But we read that Susanna Wesley expected each child to know the alphabet by the time he/she was five years old. At six, he/she started to school in their big living room. Susanna taught her children six hours a day—from nine to twelve and from two to five. Later, of course, they went to various formal schools, including Oxford.

In addition, she gave one hour a day each week to each child’s spiritual development. It made such a profound impression on her children that later, in times of distress, her sons declared that they wished they might have the privilege of counseling with their mother again.

Godly training and discipline are important responsibilities of Spirit-filled parents.

III. The Duty of Spirit-Filled Employees (6:5-8)

Ephesians 6:5–8 NKJV

5 Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; 6 not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.

Again, there are two things to note in this section.

A. The Command to Obey (6:5a)

First, there is the command to obey.

Paul said in verse 5a, “Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh,” Paul is addressing slaves here. We don’t have the time to address the issue of slavery, but suffice it to say that the biblical writers never condone slavery. In the context of Ephesus—and the first-century church—the gospel was transforming the lives of slaves as well as their masters. Because of their union with Christ they were brothers and sisters in Christ, and that was one of the key features that eventually led to the downfall of slavery, although it still took far too long.

Furthermore, in Paul’s day slaves were part of family households, which is why Paul addressed them here. They were to obey their earthly masters.

B. The Ways to Obey (6:5b-8)

And second, notice the ways to obey.

At this point, I believe what Paul said is instructive to employees and employers today. How are employees to serve their employers? In several ways.

First, Spirit-filled employees obey their employers by serving respectfully. Paul said in verse 5b, “…obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling.” This probably carries the same idea as Ephesians 5:21, “in the fear of God.” Employees serve their employers by working respectfully because they are really working for Christ.

Second, Spirit-filled employees obey their employers by serving sincerely. Paul said in verse 5c-6, “…in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,” Work hard because God is watching you, and not only when your employer sees you.

Third, Spirit-filled employees obey their employers by serving conscientiously. Paul said in verse 7, “…with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men,” Employees serve well because they want to please their Lord.

And fourth, Spirit-filled employees obey their employers by serving expectantly. Paul said in verse 8, “…knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.” God notices every act of service that an employee renders, whether the employer notices it or not. And God will reward the Spirit-filled employee.

IV. The Duty of Spirit-Filled Employers (6:9)

Ephesians 6:9 NKJV

9 And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.

There are two commands here.

A. The Positive Command (6:9a)

Paul said in verse 9a, “And you, masters, do the same things to them,” Employers should treat their employees the same way they would want to be treated. They should treat them respectfully, sincerely, conscientiously, and expectantly.

B. The Negative Command (6:9b)

And second, notice the negative command.

Paul said in verse 9b, “…giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.” This command speaks for itself.

Conclusion

There is so much God-given wisdom in this passage. Let us pay careful attention to it, whether in our homes or workplaces. And may God be honored as we fulfill our roles as Spirit-filled children, parents, employees, or employers.