How to Raise Godly Parents (and Children)

No parent can make his or her child follow God. But what—if anything—can you do to help your child desire Christ?

You show your children you love them in many ways—but which does Scripture say is the most important?

Let me tell you about a woman who I am sure loved her daughter.

It was some royally bad behavior. A Florida teen and her mother hacked a school computer system in order to rig the vote for homecoming queen. Emily Rose Grover, 18, is being tried as an adult, despite being 17 when the offence occurred. She faces up to 16 years in prison. Authorities discovered the fraud in October and traced hundreds of votes to the teen’s mother Laura Rose Carroll. Her mother, an assistant principal at another school, accessed the school district’s internal system for her daughter to cast the votes, and now faces the same sentence. They are due to appear in court on May 14.

Romans 8:12–13 ESV

12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Romans 8 tells us truth for living. If by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live. We are sons, children of God. We should live in a manner in keeping with this. This might be how this family does it but we do it this way… Remember where you’re from. Live as a member of this family. We are sons of God and have the Spirit of God so live in a way that

How do we do this? Meditate on the verses around this statement. Paul exhorts us to live a certain way and reveals the sources that enable us to live this way. The Bible tells us what but then we go to the Christian bookstore to learn how. We have forgotten that the how’s are also found in the Bible. Paul shows us how to be brothers and sisters in Christ. Mothers and Fathers in Christ. How to live in your parents home in Christ.

Ephesians 5:21–6:4 ESV

21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Four kinds of parents in today’s culture. You might one or two in your home.

Frustrated

Fearful

Angry

Passive

While these are four categories, they can be put together. Frustrated and angry, fearful and angry, fearful and passive, passive and angry. You can have tow parents who are completely different. A passive parent and a frustrated parent. An angry parent and a fearful parent. But we don’t want to focus so much on what not be but on what the Lord says you should be striving to be IN CHRIST

(1) The most import relationship in parenting is the husband wife relationship (Ephesians 5:22-33)

Ephesians 5:22–33 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

(2) Of all the things you think your child should be, the Lord says, “be obedient” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

Ephesians 6:1–3 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

What do you want your child to be?

Strong willed, independent, a leader, free thinking, not susceptible to peer pressure,

We often want children to act like adults when they need to be godly children first in order to become godly adults. Immature children who behave like immature adults will often become immature adults.

Children - of any age who are under the roof of their parents

Obey - hear under, place yourselves under the authority of your parents, listen and do.

in the Lord - the realm of choice

this is right - God says it is right

Obey - honor your father and mother, honor is the attitude, obey is the action

Why do we want to teach our children to obey in action and honor in attitude?

That it may go well with them

A child who did not honor his parents:

Genesis - Cain was jealous and disobedient and angry

Since Paul uses the 5th commandment, let’s us the other 5

Does my child lie, steal, hate and say hateful things, act immorally, display envy and jealousy in their words and actions?

(3) Children learn to do what is right from their parents (Ephesians 6:4)

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

How to prevent juvenile delinquency:

The key to parent child relationships

Provoke: to irritate, to make mad or angry

How to provoke your child:

Men - provide, initiate, model, encourage

A culture of overt praise, but not for character - the I can do anything (but lose) culture, this partners with the you should share, you don’t need to share.

Women - Supervise, love

The father of Proverbs - look at them, look at me

Eli and his sons - he did not rebuke or restrain

Elkanah and his passiveness

God the Father at the baptism of Jesus - This is my son whom I love

Paul in Colossians - mother father - gently, encouraging, urging them to live lives worthy of God

It’s very easy to go home and crack the whip, things are going to change around here. But may I suggest prayer and self examination and a gradual gently appraoch?