Men & Women of the Faith

Since today is Mother’s Day, I thought it would be worth our while to consider the role mothers play in our lives. It is wise on Mother’s Day to thank mothers for giving us birth, for nurturing us, for caring for us, for putting up with us! It is good, and right for us to honour our mothers! Most of us have been blessed by having good mothers. We acknowledge that this isn’t always the case. And yet, what I have observed in ministry is that while no mother is perfect, and even though some mothers are very far from perfect, God still grants a blessing that is passed down from mother to child.

As we dig into Titus 3, it is important to remember God’s plan for husbands and wives, moms and dads. In Genesis, before humanity fell into sin, we learn that a husband and a wife work together. A wife is a suitable helper for her husband. What this means is that they work together, complementing one another’s roles, responsibilities, and gifts. God designed husbands and wives—working in concert with each other. And we see this in the passage in Titus as well.

It is necessary for us to consider the characteristics God provides not only to mothers, but to all women. When we look at the text though, the apostle Paul is instructing Titus to encourage older women specifically. Does this mean he didn’t have anything to say to younger women?

Let’s think of it this way. As a kid, when I grew up, I wanted to be just like my dad. I aspired to be the kind of man he is. I still do. I also aspire to be like the wise men, the elders who have led in life, in the church, in my family, in my extended family.

Likewise, our young men and young women are to aspire to be the kind of older men and older women Paul describes in our text. So let’s look at what the Bible teaches us. But before we dive in, look at verse 1. Titus is to speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine. As we look at these things which Titus is supposed to speak, which are presented in the following verses, we see that doctrine is more than teaching, it is more than the gaining of knowledge, learning information, being able to know important things. Sound doctrine produces sound living, and sound living necessitates teaching others!

Sound Doctrine

So, what does sound doctrine look like? Paul tells Titus to speak, to teach older men and women to be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience. This is not an exhaustive list, however, it gets at the heart of God’s character. These doctrines are holy, and they make us holy. They inspire us to serve God wholeheartedly.

Older men and women are to be sober. By sober, the apostle isn’t limiting his thinking to keeping oneself from excessive consumption of alcohol. The apostle has in mind a thoughtfulness that pushes against the natural inclinations of this world. It is now uncommon for people to consider the wisdom that comes from a long life lived in the presence of God. God commands older men and older women to passionately share God’s truth, by telling of their experiences, and by sharing insight that comes only with age. Our society no longer appreciates the knowledge that only older men and women can give. So, this reminder is very applicable for us today. We celebrate moms, but also Omas and Grandmas!

Being temperate means exercising self-control. It means guarding one’s mind,and heart. It means not assuming too much, as young people can be tempted to do, but listening carefully and considerately, and taking measured steps, encouraging others to think things through before acting.

Being sound in the faith means exercising discernment concerning new ideas and opinions that never cease to be invented or re-invented. It means submitting to the lordship of Christ and His gospel, it means being able to recognise false teachings and taking a stand on the infallibility and sufficiency of scripture as the only reliable rule of faith and life.

The excercise of faith is done in love, with graciousness and goodness. There’s a way to argue for truth which isn’t bombastic and rude. But neither is Paul calling us to be so nice and sweet, that truth never gets told or applied. Rather what is needed is a healthy balance of truth and grace. We see this balance perfectly in Jesus. All we need to do is read the gospels to see how he spoke tenderly to some, but straightforwardly and bluntly to others.

The exercise of patience is necessary in dealing with younger men and women, particularly as they are granted responsibility. When I look back, I can see countless times when I have been the beneficiary of patience, particularly in leadership. My elders and deacons gave me room to try things out, but then patiently showed me a better way. Correction is necessary, discipline is necessary, but they must be guided by sound doctrine.

Sound Living

Sound living is the spiritual result that comes from sound doctrine. In verse three, Paul makes it clear that women are meant to have the same sound doctrine as men, but then shifts to show that sound doctrine results in sound living. Women serve as examples to the church. In mentioning this role that women have, he is honouring women, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, friends. He is recognising the God-given responsibility they have of passing on values and morals and examples to others in the church. The means in which older women accomplish this is through how they speak and teach.

They are to similarly, watch their words, and guard their tongues. Therefore, be careful to build up in your words, not tear down. A slanderer tears down, usually in order to build oneself up. So flee from this sin, focus on bringing out the goodness of God in others, which moms are inclined to do anyway.

The idea of being not given to much wine, is related to the idea of not being a slanderer. It is true that wine, or any kind of alcohol, loosens a person, which also loosens the tongue. When too much is consumed, the result is a lessened ability to control one’s actions and one’s words. Keeping one’s consumption of alcohol in check is a result of sound living produced by sound doctrine.

Women are to be teachers of good things. Women are teachers, so are men, make no mistake, but we must be mindful of how much weight and authority women have on others. The most important influencer on children is fathers, with mothers a very close second. Aunts and uncles, siblings and friends also influence, but parents have the most influence by far. So, women are to teach others good things.

Teaching Others

What are some of the good things older women are to teach? They are to admonish young women to love their husbands. Now this verse itself must be understood in the context of Ephesians 5:21-33. Men and women, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, married or single, first submit to Christ.

Only when we are submitting to Christ, can we submit to one another. Husbands are to love their wives by creating a place where they are able to flourish and grow, specifically in godliness and by encouraging her to allow Christ to sanctify her and cleanse her by the washing of water by the word. The home is a place where God’s Word has authority, it is the source of wisdom, light, truth and hope. It is a place where she is nourished and cherished.

It is in this context that older women admonish younger women. Admonishment means warning against, and urging or exhorting someone to do something, in this case they are to love their husbands, that is to receive their husbands love with honour and respect. Like their husbands, they are to work to be a blessing, to create an atmosphere in the home which is Christ-centred, a place where faith is nourished and developed.

Now the admonishment these older women provide younger women first comes out of God’s Word, second through God’s wisdom, and third, through personal experience of walking with God. Thus, it would be logical for an older woman to instruct on what to do, as well as instruct on what not to do! This is where lived experience comes in. This is where there is opportunity to “confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another,” as we are instructed in James 5:16a, comes in. It is just as necessary, though the North American church today is preoccupied with looking perfect, to be open and honest about our failings, our sins. In this way, we lift up God’s Word as our standard for living, and we show humbly, where we’ve been faithful, and where we have not, so that all may learn.

There is contained in this the idea of loving husband and children in the Lord. Our goal, our focus as spouses, as parents is to encourage faith in one another, from wife to husband, from mother to child. While our influence remains, we speak and live the Word of God to everyone.

This is what is meant in being discrete and chaste. Discretion means exercising discernment, determining if something is good, or evil. It is the necessary application of logic and reason to each and every circumstance. So, while the apostle indeed says, “everything is permissible for me”, he quickly followed it up with “but not everything is beneficial.” So what we find is this: older women encourage younger women to use their minds to exercise true judgement, to assess, evaluate, and judge, to ask oneself, “Is this decision, is this action, is this statement, is this question, is any of this, in keeping with God’s Word? “

The idea of chastity is connected very closely with discretion. In a world that seeks personal pleasure, gain, notoriety, fame, you name it, the Word of God speaks a sharp contrast. We find our joy, delight, happiness and contentment, in God first, and in others second. We do this not by indulging ourselves at their expense, such as treating God as a genie to solve our problems, or using people to fulfil our needs.

Rather, we learn from Jesus’ example as seen in Philippians 2, that we gain life by losing it, we gain satisfaction by being the servant of all. We find ourselves by being in community, by being the body of Christ, and a member of it.

The idea of being a homemaker is out of fashion today. Indeed, the title conveys an image of a woman in a blouse, skirt, heels, with apron on, dinner on the table, and drink in hand for her husband when he comes home. The Biblical picture, rather is creating, with her husband, a place where truth, love, grace, and the Word of God is present. It is reminding the family of the good things they are to do. It is being, striving to be a good, faithful, obedient person of the Word. So that the calling of God upon a woman, young or old, is such that glory and honour is given to God. That the word of God, that is Christ is not blasphemed, that is, made low by those who identify as Christian, but live nothing like Him.

Titus 2 honours women and makes much of God’s call upon them, teaching us about the important role God gives to all, whether as single women, married women, widows or otherwise. Such are the sound doctrines that govern sound living, which need to be taught, constantly taught, to others. Amen.