Brenda Bowles Memorial Service

Welcome

Good afternoon everyone. On behalf of the Bowles Family welcome to the memorial of our dear friend, mother, sister, niece Brenda Parker Bowles.

My name is Jeff Pagel, I am the Pastor of Sunnyside First Baptist Church in Sunnyside, WA. I am also known as Mr. Jill Pagel, a title that I willingly embrace.

Introduction

We are here today to mourn, we are here today to shed tears. We are are here today to celebrate the Life and Times of Brenda Bowles.

Each one of us here have at least 100 and many more of you have many more stories of the various “Brenda’s” that we knew.

We literally could be here for the next several days as we share “stories” of Brenda and how she was part of each of our lives.

We are not going to do that here. There is going to be a “get together” at Donnie and Brenda’s Home after our time here together.

As a beginning place I’d like to have __________________ read Brenda’s obituary.

Reflections

Thank you for __________________________ for reading that.

Doing a memorial service is very personal. It’s even more personal when I have known the person being celebrated for 35 years. If you bear with me in my emotion I certainly will bear with yours. Brenda would also want us to laugh and “carry-on” in her name.

I met over the phone with Donnie and Erica a couple of days ago and got some places for this to start today.

As I talked with them I asked some general and then some more specific questions as I got my thoughts together.

Brenda was a FIERCE mother. Now we all know how mother grizzly bears watch over their young. This nothing compared to the way that Brenda watched over Jordan as he was was growing up.

Nothing was going to get in Jordan’s way for him to become whatever that he wanted to be… Brenda was going to see-to-that.

We all have seen and heard the eruptions when someone or some organization was NOT doing what Brenda thought was right in regard to Jordan.

On a bit more practical level, we also know that Brenda was very concerned about how Jordan’s meat was cut and I believe was still doing that for him well into his 20’s. OK… maybe a bit of overstatement on my part.

Jordan and Brenda took so many epic trips to see musicians and plays. I mean epic trips… Buy event tickets, buy airline tickets, buy hotel tickets, buy transportation tickets to see the best of the best in the country and the world was not to much for Brenda and Jordan to do on a weekend...

Next on Donnie’s list for Brenda’s priorities was being a “GG.” To be a grandmother to Madeline. It was the apple of her eye. Madeline, and Erica although NOT directly related was a hugely important part of Brenda’s life.

It was like an event when Madeline was going to visit. Girl toys, matching cloths with GG, a special outing or meal was always planned. Sometimes that “event” was just being at home with her. Grandmother-hood fit GG - Fit Brenda very well.

Many of you know Brenda’s association with Multicare… This woman bled Multicare Blue. There was not an issue, an event, that Brenda when involved -- was involved 150%.

Her time with Multicare was ABSOLUTELY remarkable… I think that many of us know her path but let’s just hear it again. To our best guess that time with started 35 years ago.

I was told that Brenda wanted to be a nurse since she was 4 years old and wanted to see “Peoples funny looking butts.”

Many of us first met Brenda when she was a “ward secretary” or “Huck” on 2-West at Allenmore Hospital. Of course she was FABULOUS at her job and was planning at some point in the future to be the CEO of the Hospital.

I you’d ask her how that was going to get done… She didn’t know exactly how, but she was going to work that problem she could to attain that goal.

In strictly Brenda fashion here is the progression.

Ward Secretary or “Huck”

Nursing School

Staff Nurse - Allenmore

Charge Nurse - Allenmore

Finishing her Bachelor’s Degree

Nurse Manager Allenmore

EPIC comes to Multicare

EPIC on-boarding and system wide-build out beginning in Auburn, to Tacoma. Then a few years later to Spokane and now in Olympia and who know where to next.

Brenda had found her niche’ in Informatics.

Increasing responsibilities, increasing direct reports.

Brenda always had this way about her that she made herself indispensable in so many ways.

Multicare Informatics -Lead, Manager

Master’s of Science of Nursing -- Informatics.

The knowledge base and the experience to engage in nearly any question at any level, from any person.

She never made that person feel stupid or small. She always had an answer. Now it’s possible that it was “fake it until you make it.” But if it was… she was very good at it.

Multicare, and Informatics became Brenda’s singular career focus, out all the things she could have done that was her choice and she absolutely “killed it.”

Hours and hours without measure or accounting. Calls and conferences in the middle of the night, middle of vacation calls, all were met with the same disarming sense, all respectful everyone from the Environmental Services person to the CEO of the organization. Always respectful, disarming, engaging, intense at times.

Her goal was always, was in perfect alignment with the larger Multicare goal. Like I said before… She bleed Multicare blue, and nothing, I mean nothing was going to change that.

I want to talk about Brenda on a personal level...

When Donnie showed up, several of us said “really is this what you really want?” You see Donnie had NOTHING with a capital “N.”

A worn out ugly guitar that wouldn’t stay in tune, a duffel bag full of every single thing he owned and a beat up old car. That was it...

They fell in love and it began to change her.

Jordan came along and her life changed…dramatically. She was now a mother and a mom-ma bear at that. EVERYONE knew who was in-charge of that family… That was Brenda.

Brenda was a wife, she had this ability to put 110% of her focus on all of the PRIORITIES in her life… Nothing stopped her

Multicare

Jordan

Donnie

Her Sister, Sandy, Her Mom _____________

All at the same time had 110% of her attention and priority!

Then a bit later on… Erica came into her life, things were a bit rough in the beginning but in the last 2-3 years things changed for the best!

Why you ask?? A little girl named Madaline… Changed who Brenda was.

After her diagnosis, Brenda fought extremely hard to keep all of the plates turning in her world.

Health

Work

Health

Home

Health

Family

Health

Relationships

Until she no longer had the health or the energy to do that.

After the recurrence…

Brenda fought and fought and fought. At the very same time, continued to love as best as she could love.

Then the end was in sight. No more options, everything started happening… I’m sure she knew the end was near.

When all is said and done… This is what is was left with

Jordan - “She loved you with all of herself, with all of the energy that should could muster and more.”

Donnie - “She loved and cherished you, as you became her “person” at the end of her life!

Erica, Madeline - “She loved you as her very own.

Family - Mom, Sandy _______________, ________________, she would fight to the death for you.

It’s interesting as I was talking to Donnie and he reflected on some events, some fun that they had together. It wasn’t the cruise they were on, it wasn’t the multiple trips and adventures they share together here is what Donnie focused on...

A perfect day trip with the whole family to Mt. Rainier. The family had moment of clarity. They all knew they were probably entering the last of the battles one way or the other.

The pride that welled up in Brenda when Florence ___________________ annualized the 2021 Brenda Bowles Leadership Scholarship Award. She was so proud of that...

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What Brenda probably was feeling is what many people feel as we get older. We wonder if after we are gone we will be “remembered.”

Will there be a “marker” in our minds that has Brenda Bowles written on.

We want to leave a LEGACY… We want a part of ourselves;

our accomplishments,

the best events,

the best parts of all of our relationships,

the greatest work that we did,

the best friends that we had,

the memorable things,

our children,

our family,

our friends that were closer than family

To not forget us… to remember the best parts of us, to forgive the worst parts of us, to let our lives be a reflection of the person who died to soon.

Faith Connection

As Donnie and I were discussing this service I wanted to know about Brenda’s faith, her trust in God and her trust in Christ.

Donnie started by saying that is a complicated answer...

Donnie and Brenda decided to send Jordan to Life Christian Academy in Tacoma. I remember the discussions and the why’s. God had a plan in them send Jordan to that school.

As Jordan would come home and ask about going to church, about faith in Christ, Donnie and Brenda became aware of their responsibility to Jordan now extended to their responsibility to God.

Donnie when able played in the Life Center Worship Band...

Donnie and Brenda both committed or recommitted their lives to Christ.

Of course as the end of Brenda’s life came into focus, there were angry moments with and to God. God understands that… He designed us, he made us, he knew what and how we were to do it. And sometimes, the best science and medicine that God gave to some really smart people cannot outsmart a horrible diagnosis.

Why God, Why… Jill and I were discussing up until 3-4 weeks ago we expected Brenda to find a way to rally, find a way to put this cancer into remission. But it was not meant to be.

I am reminded of Jesus and his friend Lazarus...

Just a little background for you… Jesus is God with skin on. God the Father, sent Jesus who is just like him to earth to bring redemption to the world. The world is living a “hot-mess.” Not just in 2020 but ever since sin, living apart from God’s will became a thing a very long time ago.

Today in sickness, in death, in loneliness, in cancer we see the results of the world living in sin.

There is only one remedy for that.

A relationship with Jesus Christ. The only one who can lead us to redemption of our sin, the only one who can save us from the wrath of a Holy God — IS CHRIST!!!

Jesus and Lazarus were friends, John Chapter 11 does not tell us how they were friends. They both has some connection with Mary and Martha.

By this time in Jesus, three short year ministry on earth, was in full swing. Many recognized Jesus as Emmanuel, “God with you,” He had done many, many miracles and had healed many, many people.

He knew how powerful he was, many people knew how powerful he was.

I think that’s the case here...

Mary and Martha got word to Jesus that his friend Lazarus was sick

John 11:3 NLT

3 So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

the language here is “near death”

The very creator of the universe, of everything past, present and future who knows the beginning and end of everything makes a statement

John 11:4 NIV84

4 When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”

Jesus said this sickness will NOT end in Lazarus’ death. I will heal Lazarus. For my glory.

Jesus has the power to heal and bring back life… and also knows when it is time to come home… to Heaven where we all belong, where all of us were made with a God-shaped hole in our hearts.

Brenda’s God-shaped hole in her heart was filled with God and His Spirit. She was made whole by her by Christ, delivering that one last piece that completes the great puzzle of life.

Brenda is whole again, no more cancer, no more pain, no suffering, no more anger. She is enjoying true pure fellowship with all of the others who have put their faith in Christ.

I want to go to the scriptures one last time...

V.35

John 11:35 NIV84

35 Jesus wept.

The shortest verse in the bible… My favorite one to memorize.

Jesus was God, Jesus knew what was going to happen but as the verse says… “He wept”

The emotion of the time, the loss of his friend, even knowing a different end was coming

Jesus wept!

Now is the time for weeping, now is the time for tears, now is the time to seek out God, to make Christ your Lord and Savior.

So that one day we to will have the opportunity to hear as we approach the throne that God resides on with Jesus at his right and the Spirit at his left.

So that we by our faith alone get to hear the VERY SAME WORDS THAT BRENDA HAS HEARD

Matthew 25:21 NIV84

21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

Let’s Pray...