What Friends Do

John 15:9–17 NRSV

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.

In 1994 a new television show began airing on NBC. It followed the lives of six struggling, and not so struggling, twenty somethings in Manhattan. If you have not figured it out yet, the show was Friends. During its ten-season run it consistently remained one of the top shows in the Thursday night line up on NBC. Even today there are reruns that are broadcast all the time.

What makes this show so compelling that almost thirty years after its debut it still is popular? Some would say it is the humor of the show. Others would say that it is the unrealistic view that is portrayed in the lifestyles of the main characters. But there are some who would say something else entirely. They would say what makes for compelling viewing is the love that is seen on the screen between the characters. Now, I am not speaking of romantic love, though that was one of the main components of the show. What I am speaking of is the companionship and the love the friends have for one another. When one was dejected or down on their luck, the rest of the group gathered round to support them and to try to help them get back on their feet. This was evident from the very first show to the very last. It is what friends do.

So, what has a show that ended almost twenty years ago (has it been that long?) have to do with us today? Why bring this up in a sermon? There are some parallels that are seen between Friends and the scripture for today. They are both related to one another in ways that will be seen as we dive into the text.

Jesus is giving his farewell discourse to the disciples at the meal referred to as the last supper. He is telling them all that they will need to know for life after he is gone. This includes the metaphor of the vine and the branches in the verses prior to what we read today. What he is telling them there is that none of them are to be individuals, that they are all a part of the same unit. See, the branches are so tightly bound together that a person cannot tell where one ends and one begins. The branches are as one and the disciples are to be like the branches. That Jesus is the vine is obvious. The vine gives the fruit to the branches just as Jesus gives fruit to the disciples and to all those who follow him. There is no fruit on the branches if they are not connected to the vine. So, all those who follow Jesus are part of the branches and they are one with the vine that gives them the fruit that they will produce. If they are with the vine, then they will do the will of the father.

It is with this image of the vine and the branches that we come to our scripture for today. There we find Jesus telling his disciples to abide in his love. That they are to keep his commandments and in doing so they will abide in his love. The commandments are not hard to keep nor are they a burden. Why? Because Jesus keeps the commandments and because he does, the disciples, and by implication us, are able to keep them because they are part of the vine and the branches. Jesus tells them this that their joy, which is his joy, may be complete.

Beginning in verse 12 Jesus lays out what the disciples are to do: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you[1].” That’s it? The commandment that they, and we, are to follow is to love one another? How hard can that be? It turns out that this is a very hard commandment to follow.

But there is more. Jesus says that the greatest love that anyone can give is to lay one’s life down for their friends. This could mean a sacrificial giving of one’s life such as soldiers have done for their squad or even the giving of one’s life for a cause, such as equal rights, when there is no need to die if one would just step away from the cause. But it also means making a sacrifice of one’s ambitions, one’s desires, for one’s friends. This could be in anything in life. It may not mean that one has to give one’s literal life for friends, but rather the giving of what may give life to a person.

Jesus then says that they are his friends if they do what he commands. This is not a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” kind of offer. He is not saying that “unless you do this, you will not be my friends.” Nor is this an appeal to the noble ideal of friendship as put forth by the great philosophers of ancient times. No, what is being said here is that they will show themselves to be the true friends of Jesus if they follow the command to love one another. They will be friends because they have gone the distance.

We find in verse 15 the hinge of this passage. There Jesus states that he no longer calls them servants but friends. These two words are important to the text. In Greek the word for servant means slave. Now the meaning here could have been a slave who had some power. In the ancient world it was not unusual for a slave to have been the close advisor of a king or a person in power (think of Joseph with Potiphar in Egypt). But even with a close relationship and with power there is always a difference. A slave is one who is not in the know with the master. The master does not tell the slave everything. The slave is just that, a slave.

But the next word is even more important. Friend is a word that is tossed around loosely in our society. We have friends who are really more acquaintances. We have “friends” on Facebook. We have friends that no longer know who we are. In the Greek though, the word used by John for friend is philos. In the verb form it is phileo, which means to love. We even have a city name from it, Philadelphia. It means a love that is familial like a brother or sister loving us. But in this context the meaning of the word can be friend or “beloved”. A friend who is loved as one loves another in one’s own family and will do anything for that person. Because Jesus has told them everything that he is doing and everything that he has heard from God, the disciples are no longer servants or slaves but the beloved friends who know everything.

Jesus continues to remind them that they did not choose him. Usually, disciples went out and chose which rabbi to follow. One knew that there was correct, or popular, doctrine being taught by the seeing number of disciples a rabbi had. But Jesus is saying that this is not what happened. He was the one who took the initiative and called the disciples. In calling them, he appointed them to do the work that he called them to do. They are to bear fruit by going out and preaching the good news that Jesus had told them. They are to go out and bear fruit that will last, fruit that will continue to grow. Further, whatever they are to ask the Father for in the name of Jesus, the Father will give to them.

Jesus then finishes this part of the discourse as he began it: “I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.[2]” This is the command that everything hinges upon, love one another.

The other day my six-year-old son was asked what his idea of a friend was. He said that a friend is someone who treats you like you want to be treated. I like that definition. If we are to be friends, we must treat one another like we would want to be treated. In other words, we are to love each other. In Leviticus and in the words of Jesus we are told to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. We may not like what someone does, or they may drive us nuts sometimes but we are to love them like a brother or sister. And this is not to be just in the church family. We are to love as Jesus loves, and that means loving everyone, whoever they may be, however they may be different from us, and no matter how hard it may be to do so.

Jesus commands us to do this not once, not twice, but three times in this passage. And we are to remember what we are called to be as friends, the beloved. This means more than just asking how someone is doing to be polite. It is asking how someone is doing and really meaning it. It means being willing to listen to someone when they tell you about their problems. And the converse is true as well. We who are asked should not just give the stock answer of “fine”, but answer with honesty whether our lives are good or bad, especially the bad parts.

Finally, we are to bear fruit if we love one another. We are to show the fruits that come from following Jesus: telling others the good news, working with the down and outs, making sure that the rights of others are not forgotten or trampled upon, helping to keep the earth clean and safe for future generations. When we love one another as Jesus loved us, we find that it is easy to keep the commands that he gives.

Like the characters on Friends, we are to there for each other. Not because it is a command that we must follow, but rather because it is a command that we have an example to follow and that we want to follow. That example is the love of Christ who works in our lives and showed us what he was willing to do for his friends. We are called to do the same. It’s what friends do. Amen.

[1] The Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Version. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1989. Print. [2] The Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Version. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1989. Print.