Rooted in Christ- Part 31- The Christian Home

Introduction

Tonight we move into a new section of Paul’s letter to the Colossian believers. This naturally flows from the previous instruction he has given regarding the Word of Christ dwelling richly within us and the effect which this will produce in our lives as we do all in the name of the Lord Jesus.

Now Paul begins to give some very practical instruction regarding the home. Knowing and following Christ will certainly impact the way that we relate to others and here Paul begins with the most important relationships, those inside the home.

The instruction given here is intended to help each of us to fulfill our role in the home so that it can operate as God intended.

The instructions that Paul gives under the inspiration of the Spirit of God are not popular in our modern society but they are still true if we desire a home that functions according to God’s design.

There is no doubt that the home where these basic instructions are followed will be a God honoring and a joy-filled home. When we attempt to function according to our own wisdom or by the world’s wisdom, we shall find this only leads to dysfunction.

This instruction helps each member of the Christian home to understand their role and contribution to the overall function of the home.

The first instruction given is that:

Wives Submit (Vs. 18)

The wife was never intended to be the head of the home but rather to be in submission to her husband’s leadership.

Ephesians 5:23–24 KJV 1900

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

The Christian wife is to follow her husband and to support and be a helpmeet to him as he strives to lead his family for the Lord.

This is not a blanket instruction for women to submit to men, but is a very specific instruction for wives to submit to their own husbands.

This in no way demeans the wife or is suggestive that somehow she is inferior to her husband, it merely suggests that her role is different than his.

Wives you must remember that this is an intentional voluntary choice that you must make to allow your husband to lead and to choose to place yourself in the submissive role, yielding to his leadership as he does his best to follow the Lord.

Your husband will not always make the right choices, and he will certainly make mistakes, but this is not reason to usurp his authority in the home.

The latter part of the verse asserts the fact that this duty is not merely to her husband but is her duty to the Lord. In submitting to her husband she is submitting to the Lord.

The wife who exhibits a willingness to be in submission to her own husband shows evidence of her desire to follow Christ.

The wife does not submit to her husband only when he is worthy of the leadership role he has been given, she must submit to him always and in everything because this is what God has instructed her to do.

The second instruction give is that:

Husbands Love (Vs. 19)

The husband’s duty in the home is first and foremost to love his wife. This makes the wife’s submission all the more reasonable.

Many husbands attempt to lord over their wives expecting submission without first showing the love that the scripture instructs him to show to her.

The husband who loves his wife makes it much easier for her to submit to his leadership.

We might think that this verse would instruct the husband to lead but instead the primary instruction give to the husband is that he would show love.

Husbands, we must remember that love is not something that we say but it is something that we must do.

Does you wife know that you value her, can she see by your actions that you cherish her?

Ephesians 5 sheds some additional light upon how the husband is to love his wife.

It is to be a sacrificial love being willing to put her first and to sacrifice to meet her needs.

Ephesians 5:25 KJV 1900

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

It is also to be a sustaining love as the husband nourishes and cherishes his wife making provision for her physical and emotional needs.

Ephesians 5:28–29 KJV 1900

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

A husband who loves his wife as he should will make sure that she is provided for not only physically but also emotionally and mentally.

This involves providing here a comfortable secure environment where she can feel safe and well cared for.

The husband’s love is to be an unconditional love as that of Jesus Christ for His church. Jesus does not cast us off because of our failures and mistakes, but continues to love us in spite of them.

The latter part of the verse instructs the husband not to be bitter against his wife. This literally means he is not to treat her harshly with an embittered spirit towards her.

The husband who loves his wife as he should shows strong evidence of his love for and desire to follow Christ.

The third instruction given is that:

Children Obey (Vs. 20)

In the Christian home the children must learn to obey their parents if the home is to function as God intends it to.

The child should obey his/her parents simply because it is the right thing to do. A child who respects his father and mother will voluntarily obey them.

Ephesians 6:1 KJV 1900

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

Obedience is to be immediate and complete. Far too many children obey only after much delay and others obey only in part truly doing as they have been instructed.

It is of note that the instruction given to children is broadly applied as children are instructed to obey your parents “in all things.”

The child does not have the right to determine what he will or not obey, he is to obey in all things even when it may seem unreasonable or unfair.

The child who voluntarily obeys does that which is well pleasing unto the Lord. The child who obeys his parents demonstrates his desire to obey and follow Christ.

It is God who has placed the child under the authority of his/her parents and thus to obey your parents is in reality to obey God. There is great reward for this obedience.

Ephesians 6:3 KJV 1900

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

The final instruction give is that:

Fathers Provoke Not (Vs. 21)

One of the father’s roles in the home is to discipline the children when it is necessary. This is not to be done in anger or frustration but only for correction and instruction.

There are some fathers who abuse their children sometimes physically and other times mentally. The father who disciplines in anger and not in love will ultimately only provoke anger in his children.

Correction is sometimes needed but it must be done with a desire for reconciliation and restoration not with a view to destruction.

There are some children who may obey because of the fear of punishment but who ultimately harbor anger and wrath in their hearts towards a father who has lacked mercy and compassion.

Ephesians 6:4 KJV 1900

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

There are fathers who set an impossibly high standard for their children which only serves to provoke anger and to bring discouragement to the lives of his children.

We must certainly set standards and rules, but we must also remember to exhibit compassion and to show mercy even when our children fall short.

Our desire should be to encourage their development into godly young men and young ladies and this will not be done by heavy handed discipline but by loving correction.

The father who provides loving correction demonstrates not only his love for his children, but his love and desire to follow Christ.

Conclusion

When each of the members of the family choose to fill the role that God has given them, the Christian home will function wonderfully according to God’s design.

When any member of the family chooses to rebel against God’s plan and to defy the role which God has given the home will become dysfunctional and will not operate as God intends it to.

The home is God’s first institution and it is still of great significance today. The church that is made up of homes ordered after God’s design will be a strong church that will make a great impact upon the community around it.

There are many attacks upon the home in the present age, but we must remain committed to God’s design for the function of the home so that we may ultimately honor Christ.