Chasing Perfection

Good morning and welcome to Living Faith Church. If you are a mother, or have been a mother - we honor you! There is nothing more sacred and honoring for person that to raise a child in this world. It is a noble calling, a difficult task - thank you for giving of your self in this way.

Today - I am going to do something rather typical, but I know that God has something very meaningful for you in this. So everyone - if you have a Bible with you, or on your phone - open up to Proverbs 31:10. If you are new to the Bible and do not know Where Proverbs is - feel free to nudge your neighbor and ask. It is just about in the middle of your Bible.

As you turn there let me ask you men in the room: have you ever realized how hard it is to be a mom? Rachel and I both will never forget the time that I tried to take her cloths shopping for her birthday. Stella wasn’t free, Rachel really wanted to go, and I wanted to be a loving, doting father. We went together to the mall and found Justice - I thought we would just run in grab a few cute shirts and go back home. But over an hour later we were still at it. We had about half the store piled up in a dressing room the size of a Snoopy’s Dog House. I was exhausted, I was second guessing my fatherhood, It was causing me to do unnatural things like, run out of patience. Finally, she picked out, what in our delirious stage of mind, we thought were a really cute pair of sweat pants, and a shirt that she swore fit perfect in the fitting room. But when we got them home and showed mom, they were massive on her! Rachel kept coming up with all kinds of new ways to wear them and make them look good - but in the end they just looked like an over sized sleeping bag. I realized at that moment, cloths shopping is a Spiritual Gift, and I don’t have it. Are you with me?

Proverbs 31:10 NASB95

10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

Now over the next 20 verses this passage begins to reveal to us how this woman of noble character spends her days.

Verse 13: She is a worker

Verse 14: She is provider

Verse 15: She gets up early

Verse 16: She is an investor

Verse 17: She is physically fit and strong

Verse 18: She is entrepreneurial - and works late

Verse 20: She is generous and cares for the poor

Verse 22: She is able to make clothing for her family

Verse 23: Because of her character, her husband is respected

Verse 26: She is wise and she is faithful

Verse 27: She is not lazy

Verse 28: Her children call her blessed

Verse 30: She is beautiful, but most of all she “fears the Lord”

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I’m reading this… I mean, this is pretty stacked. This Proverbs 31 woman, I think is kind of what we might call “Super Mom” - right next door to perfect. Verse 29 says:

Proverbs 31:29 NASB95

“Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”

Reading through this list of everything this woman does, I think I would need 31 hours in a day to get it all done!

Today, I want to talk to you about the pressures of perfection. How many - Men and Women in the room, have ever felt the pressure to measure up to the invisible line of perfection. I don’t know how it is for you, but for me; when my friends miss the mark, it’s OK; no one is perfect; but when I miss the mark, I beat my self up and feel ashamed and unworthy. I don’t expect the world to be perfect, I just expect me to be perfect! And of course, Social Media doesn’t make things any easier.

Moms, always trying to keep the home Pinterest ready, Instagram worthy. Theres pressure to do all the cool “Mommy” things - I gotta take the kids to the ZOO, do cool crafts, elaborate themed birthday parties. And then there is the career!

“Zoe’s mom is a CFO, and you should see her scrapbook collection… .she has scrapbooks going back all the way to her first date with her husband Mike, who owns a successful construction company. They went to Honolulu for a month last summer, their Facebook proves it.”

The pressure to measure up is intense, every area of our life is vulnerable to the pressures of perfection.

I felt so stupid, I got caught eating Cheetos for lunch, Samantha had organic Kale and Carrots!

I missed my devotions two days this week, and only did my yoga once, I’m behind on the laundry, and I still have to cook dinner, give the kids their baths, wash the dishes, read the bed time stories, only to go to bed and make a list of tomorrows overdue tasks!

I probably missed a lot - but I take notes as I’ve watched Stella over the years - motherhood is not easy - and there is a lot of pressure to fit into the “super mom”, “Proverbs 31” profile. And you know what? It’s not just moms, it’s all of us! We all face the frustration of trying to measure up to perfection. We too often tend to put unreal expectations upon ourselves so that we can fit the profile of a “Successful” person.

THE THREE TYPES OF PERFECTIONISTS

Self-oriented perfectionist—You hold unrealistically high expectations of yourself and battle with feelings of guilt, often obsessing to the point of inefficiency. You’re prone to procrastinate and struggle with deep feelings of inadequacy.

Externally-oriented perfectionist—You believe others expect you to be perfect. To cope with the pressure, you often use self-deprecating humor as a defense. You often feel alone, depressed and desperate because you know you will never be enough.

Others-oriented perfectionist—You expect others to live up to your impossible standards. Because you tend to lack empathy, you often tear others down or use abrasive and demeaning humor toward those who don’t meet your standards.

Just by reading these definitions some of us in the room said to ourselves; that sounds a little bit like me! Some of you for the first time may be realizing why you do and say some of the things you do and say. Many people would pin this on a physiological issue; but the real issue is a Spiritual issue.

Perfectionism is defined as “The refusal to accept any standard short of perfection”. For the believer, Perfection is the art of covering up sin! There is no way any person can live up to total perfection, so we cover it up by over achieving in other areas. Often times, unknowingly we will say to ourselves; If I can draw peoples attention to this, they will never see that. If I can draw their attention to my immaculate house they wont notice that my marriage is falling a part. If they see my business explode they wont see the deep depression i deal with every day. We over exaggerate our strengths so that we can hide our weaknesses.

But we all have to make a choice - are we going to live by others standards or are we going to live by His Spirit?

Galatians 5:25 NASB95

25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

What does Paul mean when he says “Live by the Spirit”? He simply means that upon your Salvation experience Christ has re-birthed you in such a way that you no longer are powered by human strength but rather by a Supernatural strength. Before Jesus returned to heaven he told the disciples to wait in jerusalem until they had been filled with “power from on high”. That is the Spirit. Now, each of these men were regular every day folk just like you and me. But after being re-birthed in the Spirit, something else happened. Look at this:

Acts 4:13 NASB95

13 Now as they observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus.

Perfectionism is the perfect mask for insecurity! But living in the Spirit is the perfect cure!

On this topic today, I want to encourage you for just a moment with a passage of scripture that I think needs to sink deep into all of our hearts. Because the pursuit of perfectionism is not only exhausting, but it is also damaging. The Bible says this:

Romans 3:20 NASB95

20 because by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified in His sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin.

“ There is nothing you will ever do that will make you good enough to be chosen by God, loved by God, accepted by God.”

On your own you cannot be perfect enough for God. During the times of Jesus we had these religious rulers called the Pharisees. Now, we know that Moses was given by God 10 commandments. You may know some of them.

Do not murder, Do not cheat, Do not lie

But the Pharisees in an attempt to achieve perfection came up with 613 commands. Now, ironically Jesus in His conversations with them, several times through the Gospels uncovers their Lies - a 10 commandment, their Cheating - another 10 commandment, He says because you hate your brother you are a murder at heart - another 10 commandment. Wait; if they cannot keep even the 10 commandments why are they introducing 613 commandments? It’s the age old pursuit of perfectionism that says: If I draw you attention to these good things, you will not see these bad things. But my friend, I want you to hear this loud and clear… if you are taking notes, write this in all caps.

Until you see yourself as a sinner— You won’t see your need for a Savior!

Paul in Galatians says:

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

Whats the difference between living and walking? It’s the difference between making a new years resolution and getting out of bed and into the gym.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. If you are filled with all the power from Heaven, why are trying every trick known to man to make up for your weaknesses? So many of us are say that we are filled with the Power of the Spirit, but live like we are SuperMan. Some of you this is a word from God for you. You need to embrace your weakness and live by the Spirit!

There is someone in this room right now, you have been trying to make yourself good enough for God and you need to hear what Romans 3 says listen to this:

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.

Romans 3:22 NLT

He didn’t say by giving to the poor, volunteering at the elderly home, by mowing your neighbors lawn. These are all good things, but good things cannot make you right with God. Some of you have the hardest time telling people NO. You feel like you are letting them down. But deep down inside, your real issue is you are letting yourself down - you are motivated by helping people - but in your pursuit to fulfil your motivation you are working yourself to death. You need to say NO next time and let the Holy Spirit satisfy you in place of your works.

Perfectionism is the perfect mask for insecurity! But living in the Spirit is the perfect cure! .

And I’m going to show you how in just a moment. But for now get this:

Christ + Nothing = Perfect

Living By Perfectionism Focuses On:

What I Can do

I Have To Figure This Out

If I obey God Will Love Me

I need to win God’s Approval

Living By The Spirits Focuses On:

What Jesus Has Already Done

What Is The Lords Will

Because God Loves, I Can Obey

Living Out Of God’s Approval

How Do We Live By The Spirit?

Recognize His Presence

Recognize the presence of the Holy Spirit in your everyday life. Be driven by it, pursue it. I have this reminder on my phone that goes off every Saturday at 7 pm. It says “We are a presence driven church”. I must always be reminded that my talent, creativity, and hard work are no match for the tangible outpouring of God’s presence upon this church. This is true in our church and this is true in your life and your family. You can have the greatest summer vacations, but those will never take the place of you waking up early and welcoming the Holy Spirit into your home. All the money in the world could never bring joy to your home like the Holy Spirit does when He enters your home and brings peace that surpasses all understanding. Wake up early, say Holy Spirit I welcome you in this home - anoint your doorways - doorways to your bedrooms, your children’s bedrooms. If there are things in your home that drive away the presence of God, recognize what those are and get rid of them. Just as important as welcoming the Spirit is, so it is also important to rid yourself of anything that drives Him away.

Consult Him Always

Search out the mind of the Spirit. I believe that one of the greatest mistakes we make is to believe that God is all knowing, but live like we have all the answers. The last several weeks we have talked about how the Holy Spirit is not just a force, He is a person. The Holy Spirit has volition, desire, personality, attributes - I could go on. Yes, the Holy Spirit has something to say about all you do.

The Holy Spirit was not happy at all when I bought my BMW. It wasn’t that it was a bad car, or that it was evil - It was simply that my wife didn’t want the car and the Holy Spirit was unhappy that I was willing to make her mad so that I could be happy.

The words you speak, the money you spend, they places you go - even when you go. It is quite possible that the reason so many of God’s people live without the presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives is simply that we are constantly ignoring Him. We talk like He is here but live like He is there. We don’t care enough to ask His opinion about how we live and lead our lives. A friend of mine recently was thinking of switching churches. He said - I think I’m just going to do it, I’m done there - he was a bit upset. Stella challenged this person and said; “don’t decide today - give God some time to speak to you, pray about it, ask God what He want’s you to do”. Yes, God is interested in where you go to church.

Trust Him With Your Life

We Must Trust Him With Our Lives. If we are going to consult Him about how we live, how we spend, how we use the words of our mouth. We must likewise trust the Holy Spirit when He responds. I loved the insight Stella shared on Wednesdays 7:14 Prayer time. She encouraged us to trust God with our time. To not become overly anxious when our schedules get messed up. When unexpected emergencies, or life’s little details mess up our plan. We must trust God, that even in what seems like a very natural world, God is working something supernatural. I share this story with our Life Group last Sunday night.

When we moved to Portland to plant The House Church, I believed that God was going to provide full time income so that I could focus 100% of my time on the church. When several months went by and I still didn’t have that income I was quite upset. I had a choice to make. Test God, or Trust God. I chose to trust God - that is when I began to drive for Uber. I said God - I thought I was going to pastor full time - God said, what does a pastor do - I said, pray for people, share the Gospel, give spiritual advice. He said, who better to do that with than all of Portland 10 hours a day.

Obey Him Fully

Acts chapter 8 tells the story of an Ethiopian Eunuch. An angel speaks to Philip and says “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” A very specific instruction, that when you read it in context seems to very inconvenient. Phillip is leading a great work in Samaria and leaving this work does not make any sense at all - it’s even anti climactic. But in verse 27 we read that there is an Ethiopian Eunuch on this very road attempting to understand the Scripture he was reading. In verse 35 we find that Phillip explains the passage to this Eunuch and shares the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and the man is Baptized in water. Many believe that this very Eunuch was responsible for the great revival that broke out in that region.

Obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit when it makes sense is no test of your surrender, but obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit when it is inconvenient, undesirable, when it doesn’t makes sense. This is the test of your surrender to God. Many times in our pursuit of perfection, we are drawn to measure up to the worlds standards. In this case, Philip should have never left Samaria because he was having great success. More converts equals bigger work, equals media attention, equals influence and success. But God is not concerned about you succeeding in the worlds eyes, about you making the mark of perfection according to the worlds standards.

CLOSING:

See, the real difference between perfectionism and living by the Spirit is simply who the focus is on. And this is precisely why it Living By The Spirit is the cure for insecure people. When we chase perfection we are constantly looking at ourselves and our imperfections, we are constantly analyzing ourselves and our works to see if we measure up - and we fail every time! But when we live by the Spirit we are constantly looking to the Holy Spirit. We recognize HIS presence, we consult Him Always, We trust Him with our life, we obey Him Fully.

Earlier we red Acts 4:13 - Peter and John were known to be “unlearned men” but all anyone could see was the boldness that came from being with Jesus.

Often times for those of us who have been pursuing perfection, there is a gaping wound in our heart from failing over and over again, not in the eyes of God, but in they eyes of your own heart. Always striving to do better, to be more accepted, but always falling short of the mark. We become filled with guilt, shame, anxiety from the pressures we feel. Jesus wants to erase the pain and the need for perfection, and replace it with a genuine recognition of His acceptance of you. If you are here and you would say - I want God to remove that pain, that pressure and help me recognize His acceptance of me. Will you raise your hand, We have a prayer partner ready to pray with you.

WAIT

Secondly - maybe you are here and you have been trying to do life entirely on your own - without God. Let me just say, this is why you are here today, God wants you to know that help has come. You don’t have to carry the load on your own. He wants to be your guide, your source and most importantly your Savior. 2000 years ago Jesus died on the cross - in one fell swoop He paid the penalty for every sin your have ever committed and He made a way for you to enter heaven. My friend, you need Jesus in your life! I have prayer partners right now ready to pray with you so that you can walk out of here with the assurance that your life is secure in Jesus - every sin forgiven and a heavenly future secured. If you are ready to pray that prayer with me - will you just raise your hand so a prayer partner can find you.

WAIT

Lord, I admit to you that I have done things that are wrong. I know that those things have kept me from you. I ask you to forgive me. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I receive your forgiveness now. Come and fill my life with your Holy Spirit. I now depend on you completely. I declare that I want to live for you - from this day forward , for the rest of my life. Amen! LEAD CHURCH IN PRAISE