Mother's Day 2021 - Help! (For moms)

Most critical relationship for a child is their relationship with their mother. It is the fundamental relationship that shapes how they connect to, and relate with others. It forms their basic ability to trust, receive and give affection, develop boundaries and awareness of self and others. More than any other relationship, it shapes how we see the world.

Moms are struggling: Demands on time, energy, attention - pressure to be all things to all people, to thrive at home, at work and make sure everyone else is doing so too. Media and social media presents a false picture of the perfect mom, with perfect kids, wearing perfect clothes, eating a perfect meal, none of which is real. When none of that happens, mom blames herself. She is often undervalued by both the society we live in and the people she serves. She is told on one hand to be a faithful care-taker of her family, and then on the other that the most important thing is for her to be happy. She is often operating in a deep fog, not knowing exactly where she is going but with a stark awareness that she must get them there now. Mommas are struggling.

When mommas struggle, the family struggles. When the family struggles, society struggles. So what is a mom to do? Where does her help come from? (Psalm 121:2 - from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth… but what does this help look like?)

Look with me in the book of Titus. In it we see three legs of support for equipping moms in the important work of raising their children to the glory of God.

Read Titus 1:1-5, 2:1, 3-5, 3:14.

Pray

Three legs of support for the struggling momma.

Elders: Covering and culture of building each other up through the Word of God and prayer.

Notice the context of Titus – Paul, giving the high-level overview of the gospel work he sent Titus to do. Basically, Titus was sent to appoint qualified elders in every city (1:5-10), reprove false teachers and beware of their meaningless arguments (1:10-16, 3:9-11), and to teach sound doctrine - i.e. how to live and operate in light of the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ (2:1-3:11).

Book from and Elder, to and Elder, who was to appoint and train elders to their work of prayer and training in the Word of God. (1:5, 2:1).

Look in 2:1 - (teach them what is fitting for sound doctrine). The Pastors/Elders job is to equip the church - This means teach what is true, how to discern it in the Word of God, and how that truth applies to your life. (Holy Spirit)

Starts with Elders’ teaching, but doesn’t end there: ministry of the Word echoed in the conversations, thoughts and prayers of the people of God - creating a culture of building each other up and praying for each other.

The words I say to you will be limited, but your words to each other, and the illuminating work of the Holy Spirit can take God’s Word and work it deep into our lives. Moms need that.

They need gospel conversations based on the teaching of the church. They need church leaders praying for them (which I have been doing in abundance this week).

They need reminded of what is eternally important (their souls and the souls of their kids), and what isn’t. They need to remember the great forgiveness, love and grace of God in Jesus Christ and how their value and their future is secured in Him. They need to be constantly encouraged and fed by the Word of God, that they are not alone, that God is with them, that He is working even amid the darkest of times. This starts with the elders, and echoes throughout the church.

Brother, what would it look like for you to be an Elder here at GCC? What would need to change in your life? What priorities would need to shift that you may be equipped to shepherd God’s people? We need godly, faithful elders to teach the whole truth, to the whole church, that they may be equipped for the work of the gospel – including moms, caring for and raising their kids in the Lord.

Sisters: Encouragement and experience

What’s the best way for ladies to learn how to be good moms and wives? Yes they have the Word of God, and the Spirit of God if they are in Christ. But God uses the ordinary means of other Christian women to show them the way!

Look at v.3 - Moms don’t need to divert their troubles by focusing on those they think are worse off, neither do they need to avoid their struggles by self-medicating on pills, alcohol, or any other means of escape. They need sisters who foster unity, care and community and these things only isolate and divide.

The last thing a mom needs, is some loose tongued woman blabbing about how she brought her kid in with two different shoes on. She needs someone to smile, take that kid to the nursery and give her a break, or to sit with here there and give her encouragement, a listening ear and encouragement.

Many young moms are coming into the church having never seen a good example of loving relationships. We need models. Experience is precious. It is the job of women to teach the other women. Who else will? (Not elders! Not husbands!)

Look at what Paul mentions:

To honor God and love their families – how do they do that?

loving devotion (love husband, love children - balance not neglect)

sensibility (self-control)

purity (modesty, chaste, innocence, freedom, safety, beauty)

keeper of the home (they are the executive officer of family headquarters!)

kind (agreeable, pleasant, good natured)

follow their husband (headship means he’s to blame, but you have to let him lead!)

Note: Their own husband, not men in general

Org chart - is your supervisor better than you? No. But they are responsible for you

How do we foster that sort of community and mutual care? It is informal. Intentional.

In many ways you do this (Ex. Messenger group where you share prayers, sermons and updates.)

Carve out times to sit with each other, maybe help in the nursery or a few minutes after service.

Be willing to be uncomfortable and vulnerable. Let the walls down and share your needs, that others may pour into you.

Seek out a relationship with someone a little older or younger than you.

You don’t have to be best friends, but meet for coffee, or at the park with the kids and encourage each other in the Lord.

Host a ladies study with a group or even one other where you go through a book, passages of scripture or pray together.

If you see a need, find a way to meet it. Titus 1:14

Use the Word of God and encourage each other in the faith

God has given a great support in being a sister in Christ.

Husband: Taking hits so you can thrive

God has called husbands to lovingly protect and provide for their wives that they may act as a barrier between them and all that would work against their success.

Ex. Mahomes in Superbowl loss. No offensive line. No protection.

When husbands fail to provide and protect, the family and home suffers.

Yes, he is to lead, but he is to be a leader.

Problems and challenges

No husband – lean into other Godly family support, but remember you have church leadership and especially the ladies!

Husband not a Christian – still love Him and follow His lead in everything that doesn’t violate your devotion to Christ. Lovingly make known your commitment to your husband, but also your commitment to follow Jesus. Pray for peace and for the salvation of your husband, and let someone at the church that you trust know what is going on so they can labor in prayer with you!

Christian husband – should be no problem, right! Sin. Not ideal.

Hope! Titus 3:3-7! If God can raise Jesus from the dead, he can grow your marriage into something healthy and even beautiful.

Husband: You are the quarterback. But you are also the offensive line to your wife. She cannot execute if you are giving her the space and tools she needs to do her job.

She needs to know you have her back. She needs to know she is a prized treasure and not a threat to your comfort. She needs your prayer, and not your criticism. She needs your involvement and care.

Talk about these things, brethren. Guys, ask for prayer and accountability for the areas you need to grow in. Don’t just make excuses, or look for affirmation in blaming her, but truly desire growth to lead your family in the Lord.

Look to Jesus (Ephesians 5:25-30). Christ lived and died for us, we can live for them.

Remember the good news. Right action is enabled by God’s Kindness. Love. Mercy. Hope. Moms need help. By God’s grace, we are here for you.