The Commitments of Love

Introduction

1 John 4:7-21

As we gather today to see Luke and Rebekah become one flesh, to join their lives together as husband and wife, let me take a few moments to share a word of challenge to them.

But it is not just for them. It is for you who witness too. It is for all who are married and one flesh with each other and it is for all who KNOW someone is who is married and one flesh with each other.

For those who are one flesh, even if you know these truths, you need to be reminded of them often and renew your commitment to these truths often.

For those who witness today these vows and for those who KNOW someone who is married, you need to encourage them in both the good and bad days to remember and renew these commitments.

Specifically for those here today, you stand as witnesses to their vows and commitments and it falls to you, ALL OF YOU to encourage, support, admonish, and even rebuke/correct them along the way if so needed.

You are here, not just a mere spectators, but as witnesses and thus encouragers and accountability to them to live out the commitments you will hear them make today.

Luke and Rebekah, you must take these vows you will make seriously and understand these truths deeply, engraining them upon your soul and mind so that they carry and sustain you even when no one else is looking and hold them so dear so that even in times of trouble, you will hold fast to them.

Now, I will be brief, because lets be honest, you are only half listening and will likely not remember a word I say…lol (I will provide a written copy for you to keep and review later…:))

But please allow me to make a few comments and notes on the passage from 1 John 4 that we just read a few moments ago.

Outline

Big Idea: Love is a choice that commits itself to the best interests of another.

Key Verse - 1 John 4:9-10

Love commits to first loving God and abiding in Him - 1 John 4:7-8; Mark 12:30-31

Love commits to learn from Christ - 1 John 4:9-11; Ephesians 5:25

Love commits to witness God’s glory to the world - 1 John 4:12-17

Love commits to secure one another and remove fear - 1 John 4:18

Love commits to love with a borrowed love - 1 John 4:19-21

Sermon Body

Big Idea: Love is a choice that commits itself to the best interests of another.

Key Verse - 1 John 4:9-10

Love commits to first loving God and abiding in Him - 1 John 4:7-8, 13-16; Mark 12:30-31

Love is from God

If you want to love other well, you must first love God well.

Your first priority as individuals is to learn to love God well.

You will never love each other well if you don’t first love God well

Love for others flows from our love FOR God and the love we receive FROM God.

Mark 12:30-31

In your marriage and commitment to each other, today when you make commitments to each other, you FIRST and GREATEST commitment is to love each other SECOND. You must always love God first or else you will never love each other as you ought.

Love commits to learn from Christ - 1 John 4:9-11; Ephesians 5:25

Vs. 9 - Christ’s love is an “ALL IN” sort of love. He went to the fullest extent possible. Christ’s love is sacrificial, costing him everything.

Ephesians 5:25

Vs. 10 - Christ’s love does HARD things in the best interest of the one loved.

The primary truth…LOVE IS ABOUT GIVING oneself to another.

NOT primarily about GETTING for oneself from another or about a feeling.

Love is a choice.

And remember, when God gave His Son for us, were not friends, children, or even willing participants. God gave His Son while we hated him and did everything in our power to reject and refuse him.

This is the example of the love you are committing to have for one another today.

Love commits to witness God’s glory to the world - 1 John 4:12-17

Witness God’s love to the world through your love to each other - Vs. 12

What better venue to display this love than in the marriage relationship.

Jay Adams notes...

[Paul] says that [wives] must obey. You must obey, not primarily for the benefits that you and your husband will receive, but in order to exhibit the relationship of Jesus Christ to His church. At all costs you must not misrepresent this relationship. You cannot exemplify the love that the church must have for Jesus Christ if that kind of love is not seen in your heart for your husband.  And it must be seen in your submissive life as a result.

Christian Living in the Home, P&R Publishing, 1972, p. 74, Used by Permission. 📷 Jay Adams

To be like Jesus Christ in relationship to your wife is an enormous order to fill.  You are to be the head of your home, including your wife, just as Christ is the head of the church.  When you fail, you not only fail your wife, you also fail to represent your Lord’s love for His church.  That is why your task is such a solemn one.  When you fail to reflect Him in your marriage, you damage His name.  You are called to show forth Jesus Christ by the leadership that you exercise in your home.

Christian Living in the Home, P&R Publishing, 1972, p. 89, Used by Permission. 📷 Jay Adams

Your marriage, these vows and commitments you make to one another today are NOT simply about your and your happiness.

In fact, they are not even PRIMARILY about that.

It is first and foremost about the glory and person of God and how you live out your vows to love and cherish one another is ultimately for HIS glory and fame in the world.

Do not lose that perspective. Ever.

Love commits to secure one another and remove fear - 1 John 4:18

Context behind this is judgment.

Fear involves terror, torment of rejection, condemnation, and wrath.

Something that Romans 8:1 says we as believers have no fear of.

Perfect love drives out fear because it removes the reality or possibility of judgment.

We do not stand in fear of God’s wrath and judgment because the perfect love of Christ satisfied that wrath. Now, we only have the promise of perfect love and acceptance.

Your marriage vows and commitments are to be a reflection of this truth.

Your vows and commitments REMOVE the fear of judgement, rejection, and wrath because you commit to love with a perfect love that ALWAYS accepts, loves, and seeks the best for the other person.

(Does not mean we accept sinful choices or turn a blind eye. Perfect love sometimes does mean rebuke, correction, and consequence)

But it does mean that you will never stop fighting for and choosing to love the other, putting their best interests above your own.

Your vows of love today embrace this level and depth of intensity and seriousness.

Love commits to love with a borrowed love - 1 John 4:19-21

Here are the obvious and glaring truths from this text...

Love for each other can only be sustained with your love for and from God - Vs. 19-21

The Love of God is the basis for Love for others - Vs. 11

The foundation of lasting love is abiding in Christ - Vs. 13-17

Our love is enabled and empowered by God’s love for us - Vs. 19

You cannot love others without first loving God - Vs. 10-21

We love others with a borrowed love from God.

We love others with the overflow of God’s love for us.

Are you struggling to love others?

When you struggle to keep your vow to love like Christ, pray for greater love and surrender totally to Him.

Love God more, draw near to Him. Let His love fill and consume you. Then you will find that love for others will naturally flow out of you.

Conclusion

Big Idea: Love is a choice that commits itself to the best interests of another.

Key Verse - 1 John 4:9-10

Love commits to first loving God and abiding in Him - 1 John 4:7-8; Mark 12:30-31

Love commits to learn from Christ - 1 John 4:9-11; Ephesians 5:25

Love commits to witness God’s glory to the world - 1 John 4:12-17

Love commits to secure one another and remove fear - 1 John 4:18

Love commits to love with a borrowed love - 1 John 4:19-21

REMEMBER - Your vows today, while directed toward each other, are directed as SECONDARY promises. You PRIMARILY vow to love God. Only then will you be able to love each other well.

Husbands, do you love your wives enough to die for them? Wives, do you love your husbands enough to live for them? That is what the latter part of Ephesians 5 is all about. The husband must learn to love his wife as Jesus Christ loves His church. A husband, if need be, should be willing to give up his life for his wife. On the other hand, a wife should so love her husband that she is willing to live for him. She must be willing to pour her life into being his helper. This involves living for him, just as the church is required to live for Jesus Christ.

Christian Living in the Home, P&R Publishing, 1972, p. 70-71, Used by Permission. 📷 Jay Adams