3.7.26 5.23.2021 Philemon Paul Demonstrates Qualities which soften us

Start

Entice: High commitment, type A personalities run the risk of becoming rigid, legalistic, and overly demanding. One of the truly amazing things about Jesus is the ease with which he related to people and the way He made them feel. The reason He could be accused of being a "drunk and glutton" was because He kept getting invited to parties! His enemies never seemed to understand the appeal of someone who could model righteousness and joyfulness at the same time. Jesus could be right without becoming haughty. He taught scripture without becoming officious. He had high expectations but was not arrogant. People wanted to be with Him. He attracted followers. One of our jobs as believers is becoming more like Him. It is difficult because the things He did so effortlessly are the very things which tempt us to the excesses of pride when we do them well. Jesus had mastered the "soft" skills which help make our faith attractive.

Paul could argue. He could be aggressive. He was sometimes a little scatological. Sarcastic. Biting. Yet he was also able to model softer behaviors he found in Jesus. It is something we need to work on as well.

Engage: It is difficult to be hopeful when we insist on imposing our will on other people. Let me expand on that. You don't get more joyful by taking away the joy of others. You don't get happy by making others unhappy. You don't win friends by making them lose arguments. You don't build bridges by shoving people off the side of the road. We need to be as interested in the softening work of the Gospel as we are in the being doctrinally sound.

Philemon 1–21 ESV

1 Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our beloved fellow worker 2 and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house: 3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4 I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. 7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. 8 Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15 For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.

Expand: Strictly speaking this message is not exegetical. In this particular message I am less concerned about WHAT Paul says than I am with HOW he says it. Generally, because Philemon is so short you get everything a preacher can say about it in one sermon. I am specifically not doing that this morning in this message. I will not discuss topics which some find too touchy to address (slavery). Or which others think should be highlighted to the exclusion of everything else (again, Slavery.) My concern is tone and approach. Philemon is the right text to consider in our increasingly polarized world. This little, neglected letter practices what it preaches. It demonstrates the soft touch of someone who has been transformed by Christ and whose hope is founded on shared bonds of personal integrity. Paul does not argue, prod, pace, question, bully, or command. Paul approaches Philemon one believing friend to another. Paul reminds us that people should be attracted to us because they see Jesus through us.

Excite: The toughest, smartest people need to master the soft skills which are often the most effective in restoring relationships and building trust. (I am preaching to myself here, muchly.)

Explore:

Hopeful people display their integrity with a soft heart.

Explain: We need to express the qualities which soften us.

Express Gratitude.

To God.

Why

For Others.

Saying thank you...

Express Love

Personal

Community.

Express Humility

Deference

Partnership.

Responsibility.

Shut Down:

Attitudes are skills

Attitudes are skills--Three words that changed my life.Once you realize that you can improve, amplify and refine the things that other people call attitudes, you may realize that they are skills.Seth Godin Blog October 9,2020

There is nothing wrong with being doctrinally sound...but it must not make us boastful. There is nothing wrong with being passionate...but it should not make us oppositional. We should not be so self-sufficient that we become a stand-offish loner. The Paul who could be sarcastic in Galatians, who could reprimand the Corinthians, and indoctrinate in the Roman Epistle. They are all the same Paul who also had the soft skills we examined today. The question of what kind of a person you want to be. Hopeful and approachable or unapproachably negative-is really up to you.

This Church, this community, this world--we need more gratitude. More Love. More Humility. Fewer and fewer will listen to the earnest plea of the Gospel until we learn these qualities which soften us.