Proverbs 3:11-12

Wisdom in Pain

My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof,for the Lord reproves him whom he loves,as a father the son in whom he delights. (Proverbs 3:11, 12)

Suffering is the common language of the human race.

Suffering is not as much about our present circumstances a so much as it’s about our heart toward God during suffering.

When (not if) suffering happens, honesty forces us to face the only two possibilities about God.

Either God loves us passionately, or God is at odds with us.

It is one or the other. And we all have moments when it feels like God is at odds with us.

That is why we are thankful for the opening words in verse 11: “My son …” Do you hear the tenderness in those words? A wise father is counseling the son he loves. What is he saying about the hard times? Two things.

First, when we suffer, it isn’t God angrily taking from us; it is God lovingly reinvesting in us.

Suffering feels like anger.

It feels like loss.

It feels like God has abandoned us.

But the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11 suffered.

Their faith was not in a country club religion.

They trusted God with all their hearts, and some were tortured, killed, mistreated.

Was God mad at them?

No; he commended them (Hebrews 11:2, 6, 39).

That is why it says, “God is not ashamed to be called their God” (Hebrews 11:16).

He was proud of them.

To use the language of Proverbs 3:12, he delighted in them.

When you are suffering, here is what you must remember:

Your sufferings are not evidence against you, nor are they evidence against God. It is the opposite.

Your sufferings are proof that God your Father cherishes you. As Hebrews 12:7 says, quoting these verses, “God is treating you as sons.”

Or as William Cowper wrote, “Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.”

If you are in Christ and you are suffering, God does not hate you. If he did, he would not bother with you.

The truth you need to know is this: You are a person of destiny, your greatness has already been won for you by Christ at his cross, and now God is getting you ready with some finishing touches, each one a masterstroke.

If you could remove suffering not only from your own life but also from the whole world, you would not improve it.

You would rob yourself of significance.

You would create a world without the love of God.

It would be a world where Jesus himself could not suffer and die for your or anyone’s sins.

Second, our wise pathway through suffering is to accept it and wait while God fulfills his purpose.

If you are suffering right now, you are probably being tempted in two opposite ways.

Both are here in verse 11

Either to despise the Lord’s discipline, which is the active response of anger, or to be weary of his reproof, which is the passive response of despair.

What is your only path forward? The Bible says, “[Be] trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). We get our modern word gymnasium from that Greek word.

By our sufferings, God has us working out.

Is that so bad? Jesus himself suffered: “Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered” (Hebrews 5:8).

The Bible says that Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses, because he was tempted the same ways we are, but he did not sin.

He neither lashed back at the Father, nor did he go limp (Hebrews 4:15).

So we have a Friend in Jesus who is qualified to stand before God on our behalf but who is also sympathetic with us because he knows how it feels.

So the Bible tells us what to do: “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

Here is what to ask for as you kneel there at the throne of grace.

In Philippians 3:10 Paul said in essence,

“I want to know Christ, and the power of his resurrection, and I want to share in the fellowship of his sufferings.”

Paul looked at the cross, he saw Jesus shedding his lifeblood for sinners, and Paul’s heart said, “There is the wealth I want. There is the suffering I trust.”

Jesus is your treasure. Jesus is your approval.

Will you believe that—yes, at that extreme of life where you find yourself right now?[1]

[1]Raymond C. Ortlund Jr., Preaching the Word: Proverbs—Wisdom That Works, ed. R. Kent Hughes (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2012), 70–72.