Listening

Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check.

Oh, by the way, don't worry about my Bull Dog, he won't bother you.

But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business. The Parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"

Howick Association

Listening Statistics

1. In 7 out of every 10 minutes we are communication with another human

2. In a typical business day, we spend 45% of our time listening, 30% of our time talking, 16% reading and 9% writing

3. Less than 2% of all professionals have had formal education or learning to understand and improve listening skills and techniques

4. 85% of what we know we have learned through listening

5. In 1999 the US Department of Labor statistics reveal that 46% of those who quit their jobs did so because they felt they were not listened to and were therefore unappreciated

6. We talk at a rate of 125-175 words per minute, listen at a rate of 125-250 words per minute, but think at a rate of 1000-3000 words per minute. The processing gaps creates opportunities for distraction and failure to listen attentively

7. In every human interaction there are three separate “channels” of communication happening simultaneously:

-The content of our communication

-Our vocal characterizations in explaining the content

-Our body language

1. By listening to those with wisdom, we can become wiser.

Proverbs 8:33-34; this includes listening to our parents, not tuning them out—Proverbs 23:22).

- As Gods People we are to be seeking after God’s wisdom

- Growing in knowledge and understanding

- Listening is key!

- Romans 10:14,17

o How shall they believes unless they hear… Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God

- Revelation 2,3

o He who has an hear let him hear what the Spirit Says to The Churches

- God Wants to communicate with us

- He uses His word to

o teach us lessons

o Reveal His character

o Reveal His plan

- All these things are here… If we listen

- If we take the time to Study

- If we come to services and hear God’s word expounded

- Humans generally listen at a 25% comprehension rate

3. We should be a lot quicker to hear than to speak.

- James 1:19 (Proverbs 10:19)

- Human nature tends to want to speak more than to listen

- But We should be more apt to be the one listening than to be the one talking

- The Proverbs are full of warnings against talking too much

- Proverbs 18:13 - He that answereth a matter before he heareth [it], it [is] folly and shame unto him.

2. Some things we shouldn't listen to.

- Ecclesiastes 7:21

- Not everything needs to be heard

- We have seen how important it is to hear what God says to us through His word and His Holy Spirit

- Just as prudent we are about that, we should also be as careful about what not to listen to

- Ephesians 5:11-12

o Gossip

§ True Or False

§ We are so attracted to this!

o Lies

§ False Prophets

§ False Doctrines

§ Itching ears

o Foul Language, filthy Humor

§ All around us

§ Common place

· TV, Movies, Workplace

o Blaspheming God’s Name

§ Swearing

§ Taking in vain

§ Euphemisms

A. Esteem/value others

a. Philippians 2:3

b. God views us all as valuable

c. He has created everyone with the potential of entering His family

d. Listening is a way in which we can show love, concern, and respect

i. We value what they have to say

ii. We are giving them our time

iii. If we are looking around, fidgeting, or giving body language that we are bored or distracted

iv. We convey that we do not truly care or esteem them

B. Empathize with those we are talking with

a. Romans 12:15

i. Each person is unique and has had their own experiences

ii. In a conversation, we should try understand their point of view

1. Even if we do not agree

2. Even if we can not condone their experience

a. For us to effectively help, we must truly listen

iii. Something that may not be important to us could mean the world to someone else

iv. For us to rejoice with them or weep we have to put ourselves in their shoes

C. Listen to understand

a. Proverbs 18:2

b. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen Covey

c. This means

i. Committing our whole focus

ii. Removing distractions

1. Change setting especially for important conversations

iii. Think critically

1. Ask open ended questions that come to mind

a. Without prodding

b. Showing interest

2. Summarize/clarify

a. Make sure you understood them

b. Shows that you were listening

iv. We can process much more than what is being said

1. Check facial expressions, body language, consider tone

d. All of these things will help us get a better understanding of what is truly being said