Part 3 - How to Raise Godly Parents (and Children)

Deuteronomy 6:4–7 ESV

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

The Athanasian Creed Whoever desires to be saved should above all hold to the true faith. Anyone who does not keep it whole and unbroken will doubtless perish eternally. Now this is the true faith:

That we worship one God in trinity and the trinity in unity,     neither blending their persons     nor dividing their essence.         For the person of the Father is a distinct person,         the person of the Son is another,         and that of the Holy Spirit still another.         But the divinity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is one,         their glory equal, their majesty coeternal.

What quality the Father has, the Son has, and the Holy Spirit has.         The Father is uncreated,         the Son is uncreated,         the Holy Spirit is uncreated.

The Father is immeasurable,         the Son is immeasurable,         the Holy Spirit is immeasurable.

The Father is eternal,         the Son is eternal,         the Holy Spirit is eternal.

And yet there are not three eternal beings;             there is but one eternal being.             So too there are not three uncreated or immeasurable beings;             there is but one uncreated and immeasurable being.

Similarly, the Father is almighty,         the Son is almighty,         the Holy Spirit is almighty.             Yet there are not three almighty beings;             there is but one almighty being.

Thus the Father is God,         the Son is God,         the Holy Spirit is God.             Yet there are not three gods;             there is but one God.

Thus the Father is Lord,         the Son is Lord,         the Holy Spirit is Lord.             Yet there are not three lords;             there is but one Lord.

Just as Christian truth compels us     to confess each person individually     as both God and Lord,     so catholic religion forbids us     to say that there are three gods or lords.

The Father was neither made nor created nor begotten from anyone.     The Son was neither made nor created;     he was begotten from the Father alone.     The Holy Spirit was neither made nor created nor begotten;     he proceeds from the Father and the Son.

Accordingly there is one Father, not three fathers;     there is one Son, not three sons;     there is one Holy Spirit, not three holy spirits.

Nothing in this trinity is before or after,     nothing is greater or smaller;     in their entirety the three persons     are coeternal and coequal with each other.

So in everything, as was said earlier,     we must worship their trinity in their unity     and their unity in their trinity.

Anyone then who desires to be saved should think thus about the trinity.

But it is necessary for eternal salvation that one also believe in the incarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ faithfully.

Now this is the true faith:

That we believe and confess     that our Lord Jesus Christ, God's Son,     is both God and human, equally.

He is God from the essence of the Father,     begotten before time;     and he is human from the essence of his mother,     born in time;     completely God, completely human,     with a rational soul and human flesh;     equal to the Father as regards divinity,     less than the Father as regards humanity.

Although he is God and human,     yet Christ is not two, but one.     He is one, however,     not by his divinity being turned into flesh,     but by God's taking humanity to himself.     He is one,     certainly not by the blending of his essence,     but by the unity of his person.     For just as one human is both rational soul and flesh,     so too the one Christ is both God and human.

He suffered for our salvation;     he descended to death;     he arose from the dead;     he ascended to heaven;     he is seated at the Father's right hand;     from there he will come to judge the living and the dead.     At his coming all people will arise bodily     and give an accounting of their own deeds.     Those who have done good will enter eternal life,     and those who have done evil will enter eternal fire.

This is the true faith: one cannot be saved without believing it firmly and faithfully.

Joshua 1:8 ESV

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

Psalm 119:97 ESV

Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day.

Marriage is hard work. Parenting is hard work. In scripture there has never been a perfect marriage. Dr William McCrae’s advice rings true - every marriage has problems. The difference between a good marriage and a bad marriage is that in a good marriage they have learned how to deal with their problems.

In a fallen world we must lean on the grace and strength of Christ. We need to be people of prayer and people of consistent and steady character and resilient and enduring faith.

How do we do this? We need to meditate on the verses concerning marriage and parenting that the Lord has given to us.

In Ephesians 5 Paul exhorts us to live a certain way and reveals the sources that enable us to live this way. The Bible tells us the what and we need to be careful to not then then run to the Christian bookstore or a Christian website in search of the how. Human advice will not produce God’s strength. We have forgotten that the how’s are also found in the Bible. If you are willing to meditate on this mornings passages you will see that these verses and others show us how to become become better marriage partners and parents and children.

You’ll notice in these passages that the how is given but it demands that you search for it, in the words of Proverbs,

Proverbs 2:1–6 ESV

1 My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, 2 making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; 3 yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, 4 if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. 6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;

(1) The most important relationship in parenting is the husband wife relationship (Ephesians 5:22-33)

We are in union with Christ, we are one with Christ. Through the Holy Spirit who is our constant companion and supporter and enabler we have the presence of Christ.

Paul uses the language of Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Paul changes “they shall become” to “the two shall become” one flesh

This is trinitarian language. That two individuals become one and submit to one another, honor one another, cherish one another and seek to have intimate fellowship with one another.

The third person in this relationship is Jesus through the constant presence of the Spirit

We are really attacking selfish individualism in this passage

(2) Of all the things you think your child should be, the Lord says, “be obedient” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

When it comes to raising children, the advice of

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

continues to be truth but for every child not departing from the road of moral obedience there is the rebellious child and the arrogant child (the prodigal son and self righteous older brother), there is the angry and violent son (Cain who killed his brother Abel), there is the Solomon who left the Lord for wealth and women only to come back later in life and the Jacob who was a deceiver until he was humbled and broken by the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1–3 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

What do you want your child to be?

Strong willed, independent, a leader, free thinking, not susceptible to peer pressure,

We often want children to act like adults when they need to be godly children first in order to become godly adults. Immature children who behave like immature adults will often become immature adults.

Children - of any age who are under the roof of their parents

Obey - hear under, place yourselves under the authority of your parents, listen and do.

in the Lord - the realm of choice

this is right - God says it is right

Obey - honor your father and mother, honor is the attitude, obey is the action

The opposite of honor is dishonor

Why do we want to teach our children to obey in action and honor in attitude?

That it may go well with them

Children who did not honor his parents:

Genesis - Cain was jealous and disobedient and angry

Jacob deceived his father

The children of Eli in 1 Samuel

The prodigal who came to his senses - that the Spirit might regenerate our children and place faith in their hearts

Don’t give up, don’t stop praying, don’t stop loving, don’t stop standing for truth, don’t stop saying no

(3) Children learn to do what is right from their parents (Ephesians 6:4)

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Four kinds of parents in today’s culture. You might one or two in your home.

Frustrated

Fearful

Angry

Passive

While these are four categories, they can be put together. Frustrated and angry, fearful and angry, fearful and passive, passive and angry. You can have tow parents who are completely different. A passive parent and a frustrated parent. An angry parent and a fearful parent. But we don’t want to focus so much on what not be but on what the Lord says you should be striving to be IN CHRIST

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

How to prevent juvenile delinquency:

The key to parent child relationships

Provoke: to irritate, to make mad or angry

How to provoke your child:

Men - provide, initiate, model, encourage

A culture of overt praise, but not for character - the I can do anything (but lose) culture, this partners with the you should share, you don’t need to share.

Women - Supervise, love

The father of Proverbs - look at them, look at me

Eli and his sons - he did not rebuke or restrain

Elkanah and his passiveness

God the Father at the baptism of Jesus - This is my son whom I love

Paul in Colossians - mother father - gently, encouraging, urging them to live lives worthy of God

It’s very easy to go home and crack the whip, things are going to change around here. But may I suggest prayer and self examination and a gradual gently approach?