Understanding Marriage and Singleness
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Now the Corinthians were having problems, as we saw in the last two messages, with the whole subject of marriage. The problem basically arose from the fact that when people were becoming Christians, there was certain pressure being put upon them to conform to a certain view of marriage.
For example, you’re a single person and you happen to get saved in the city of Corinth and you attend the Corinthian assembly. There are some well-meaning Jews there who believe, because Orthodox Judaism always believed this, that to be single is to defy the law of God. God said to multiply, replenish the earth and if you do not do that then you are slaying the posterity of God. And so the Jews would say you must get married, especially now that you’re a Christian. And so there was tremendous pressure being put on single people, some of whom had been given by the Holy Spirit the charisma of celibacy or the grace gift of singleness. God intended them to be single but the Jews were laying it heavy on them to be married.
On the other hand, you had a kind of an ascetic (or self-denying) attitude “that was a holdover from pagan philosophy and some of the Gentiles were coming into the church and saying marriage is not the thing, singleness is the thing because then you can be ascetic totally devoted to God and you don’t have any of the encumbrances of marriage. And what you really ought to do if you’re married is get a divorce and get out of your marriage. And it went further than that, especially if you happened to be married to an unbeliever, dump him for sure because he’ll defile you and if you have children, you’ll have half-breed defiled children.
So these were the confusing elements in the Corinthian situation regarding marriage. And so some were saying everybody has to get married, some were saying everybody has to get single again so we can be totally devoted to God. And there would be a high level of spirituality in the Jew’s mind connected with marriage and a high level of spirituality in the Gentile philosopher’s mind connected with being single. So Paul has to speak to these issues. And he writes the seventh chapter in response to that very struggle. Some were challenging marriage and some were challenging the right to be single.
I nor Kentucky Church is against marriage. The majority of us are married.
The Bible is Balanced on this subject, recognizing that for some people, Singleness is better than marriage.
We have seen
Principles about Singleness:
Principles about Singleness:
1. Singleness is Good.
1. Singleness is Good.
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2. Singleness is a Gift.
2. Singleness is a Gift.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
Now remember, the initial problem and reason for writing this letter was because of division.
10 Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.
Christianity is not a Social Issue.
It is not a social revolution,
IT IS A SPIRITUAL REGENERATION.
There is no reason to say, “Now you’re a Christian, you have to stop being single… now you’re a Christian, you’ve got to dissolve your marriage and be celibate… now you’re a Christian, dump that unsaved spouse or you’ll defile yourself… now you’re a Christian and a slave, get out of that slavery, Christianity cannot be commensurate with bondage, you’re free, tell your master to go fly a kite, you’re walking out.”
The Corinthians were coming in and using their Christianity as a justification for all kinds of social change.
Paul is saying, Don’t turn Christianity into a Social Thing. Christianity is a Spiritual Regeneration and it can exist in any kind of social situation.
Paul is showing us that having a relationship with Jesus Christ is compatible with any social status.
John McArther says,
You can be single, married, widowed, divorced.
You can be a slave, a free man.
You can be a Jew. You can be a Gentile.
You can be a man. You can be a woman.
You can live in any kind of society, democracy or total anarchy, or you can live in a dictatorship.
You can be anywhere from America to Cuba to Red China to any place in the world and Christianity is compatible with any social status.
Why?
Because it is internal, not external. And Paul says, Corinthians, if you’ll please let the world keep the perspective by not using Christianity as a justification to misrepresent the truth.”
Seek God’s Principle
Seek God’s Principle
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
Remember, God has called us to Peace.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
What did God call us to? PEACE.
Whatever we do in the world should have the ultimate effect of making…WHAT? PEACE.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
If you are really going to bring about righteousness in a the world, it’s going to be sown by what? PEACE, By those that make peace.
Paul tells Timothy to “Be strong in grace”, “endure hardship”,
10 Therefore I endure all things for the elect’s sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.
Be a peaceful man and maintain a peaceful stance.
There is a reason for that.
Paul says,
25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
The way to evangelize the world is not through social revolution but it is through spiritual regeneration.
Distribute means to apportion to one his share of something.
If you are a slave, who is that apportioned to you that position?
Who is it? It’s the Lord!
If you’re a wife, who is that apportioned to you that position? The Lord!
Husband? Single Person?
Whatever it is, remember this, whatever the Lord has alloted to you in whatever way God has called you, so continue to walk.
If you’re a slave, did you know that God put you in that position before He saved you and He saved you in that position to use you in that position?
If you’re single, God had you single before He saved you. If you’re married, God allotted to you a marriage situation and saved you in it to use you in it. God knew that.
God saved you in a certain situation, for the time stay in that situation - married, unmarried, mixed marriage, circumcised, enslaved, free, whatever it is, your life status is given by the Lord.
The kind of jobs you have and the kind of marital status you have is related to the plan of God, even before you got saved. And when the Lord redeemed you in that, He redeemed you in that to use you in that, at least for the moment. Don’t be discontent. Don’t say, “Oh, now that I’m a Christian I can’t do this anymore.”
Now I’m not talking about, if you run a brothel or you peddle whisky, that’s something different because that’s illegal and immoral.
But, when we’re talking about things that are just social relational things that have no moral value, God doesn’t expect you to all of a sudden bail out of everything. God has you there for a reason.
God had you there before He even saved you, saved you while you were there and so it’s simple, stay that way.
Whatever social situation you’re in, God can work so stay where you are.
Let’s show people in the world, that Christianity gives solidarity to society, that it gives solidarity to life, not that it’s chaotic.
Seek God’s Picture
Seek God’s Picture
Now, after stating the principle, he gives us a picture or illustration. Now watch verses 18 and 19. This is a fascinating.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
Were any of you … the word “called” means to invite or summon here referring to salvation. “Were any of you saved while you were circumcised?”
Now a circumcised person is a what? Is a Jew. All right, were any of you saved when you were Jews? Well, of course, many of them.
Then do what? “Let him not become uncircumcised.” You say, “A lot of chance he’s got of that.” I mean, that’s what I said when I first read it. Well, it’s real nice … don’t you dare get uncircumcised. Oh, don’t worry, I won’t, I won’t. It seems a little bit irrelevant.
There were Jews that would actually undergo surgical procedures to identify with Greeks for social status.
Circumcision identified them as a Jew.
The Apostle Paul is saying that “if you were saved a Jew, don’t seek to undo your identity.”
You say, “Well, why not?” Let me tell you. A Jew comes to Christ. He gets saved. Who would be the most likely person that he then could lead to Christ? Another Jew, right? And somebody in his own family. So if a Jew comes to Christ and immediately renounces his Judaism, wants to get uncircumcised and totally identify with the Gentile culture, what are his Jewish friends going to say? They’re going to call him a what? A blasphemer, an apostate who isn’t fit for heaven. To remove the mark of the covenant would be unthinkable. And he would immediately alienate himself from the harvest field that he is most capable of reaping in. Do you see? So Paul says don’t do that.
I think one of the things that’s kind of exciting about today, you know, we see people today who are Jews, they get saved, and they don’t reject their Jewishness. They hold on to their Jewishness and this gives them accessibility back into the Jewish community, doesn’t it? They have an open door, maybe, to friends and family when they maintain something of the belief and the love of the Jewish heritage, even though they have seen it fulfilled in the Messiah, there’s no reason to assume that they have to deny all of that heritage. To deny it and become a Gentile would alienate them from the harvest field that God would give them the most fruit in.
Now, he turns it over in the next part of verse 18 and says, “Is any called in uncircumcision?”
Were any of you saved while you were Gentiles? “Let him not be circumcised.” Now you know what this story’s all about, don’t you? Some Gentiles came to Christ and what would the Jews say? Oh, it’s so nice that you’ve come to Christ but listen, if you want to get in on the really great stuff in the Kingdom; you’ve got to have this operation.
Now, I don’t think it was like Galatia. In Galatia they were telling the Christians there they had to get circumcised to be saved. I think here they’re trying to show them that they had to have this to get the full blessing. And the reason I believe that is because Paul would have been a lot more adamant here if it was an issue like Galatia for salvation. But I think the Jews here were saying, You ought to identify with God’s people … you ought to identify with the covenant people and we’ll just have this little operation.’ And you know what? The Gentiles looked down on the circumcision and the Jews as despised people. They really believed that the Jews were a low-classed despised people.
Now to identify with the Jews then would have alienated a Gentile from what? From all his people. And you see, then he would have alienated himself from the harvest field that God had designed him to reach. Do you see the point? God says just stay where you are, that’s where I have you for the reason that I have you there, to reach those people. Don’t worry about your social status. It doesn’t matter.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
Neither one of them matter. “But the keeping of the commandments of God.”
Obedience to God is what is important.
It doesn’t matter what operation you had or didn’t have. And there’s no sense for something that doesn’t matter, there is no sense in you alienating yourself from all your friends and all your family. There’s no sense.
Let’s focus on what is important. Let’s not major on the minors. Let’s not get bogged down in the externals, the superficial. Let’s remember that the issue is obedience.
Seek God’s Provision
Seek God’s Provision
All right, having stated the principle and pictured it, he now states it again. And if you think it’s repetitious, you’re right. Any time God bays something it’s important. Any time He has His prophet or his Apostle say it three times, it’s that much more important.
20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
Let every man stay in the same situation he was in when he was saved. That’s precisely what he’s saying. Concentrate on the spiritual, emphasize the Christianity, not the circumstances socially. Christians need to be preoccupied with spiritual things.
Our primary business is being a Christian, not outward circumstances that are relatively or totally unimportant. Don’t ever let outward things become a major importance.
I am not saying you can’t have a promotion, you can’t advance in your business or your education, or seek a better life, or seek to increase your income or get a better job or change employment. No.
What Paul is saying is don’t disrupt the social balance in the name of Christ.
In other words, nobody should desire to change his status in life simply because he’s a Christian, as if Christianity was incompatible with certain kind of social positions. It isn’t. It’s compatible with anything. It’s well suited to any man, or any woman in any situation in life as long as that person realizes that the key thing is to keep the commandments of the Lord. Obedience is possible in any situation. Now you may pay a higher price for it in some than in others, but it’s possible. You see, when the Lord saved you, He didn’t save you to change your earthly status, He saved you to change your soul, your eternal destiny.
Notice Paul uses another Picture or Illustration
21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
“Art thou called being a servant - slave (doulos, a bond slave),” were you saved as a slave, don’t worry about it. Care not for it. That’s a Greek idiom, means never mind, it doesn’t matter. If you were called as a slave, it doesn’t matter.
“Does the Bible say slavery doesn’t matter?” No, no, the Bible doesn’t say slavery doesn’t matter. The Bible says if you were saved as a slave, don’t worry about it, you can be a Christian as a slave. Can you? You can be a Christian as an anything, socially speaking. I’m not talking about moral things, but social. Paul is not approving of slavery; he is merely saying that slavery is not an obstacle to Christian living.
Paul speaks about this in
5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;
Stay a good slave. Give that guy everything hat he wants. Serve him with your whole heart as if he was Jesus Christ in the flesh. Give him everything he asks for.
6 Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
“Not with eye service.” You know what eye service is? That’s working when the boss is looking. Oh, we know about that. “Not with eye service as men pleasers but as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart.” Hey, you’re doing the will of God.
If you’re a slave, you know why you’re a slave? Because God’s will is that you be a slave. He saved you as a slave, that’s where He has you. That’s fine. Whatever you do, the Lord is going to reward you, serve the Lord in that position. Colossians 3:22–24 says identically the same thing.
“Does the Bible approve of slavery?” No. But it also doesn’t approve of Christians creating a social revolution to overthrow it because that misdirects the whole point of Christianity.
Did you know that the concentration of righteousness that was in Christianity really became the catalyst that ultimately abolished slavery in the world? Christianity has done that. The important thing, you see, is to serve God and a slave shouldn’t worry about the fact that he’s a slave, he should just serve God. And as this whole righteous kind of life begins to penetrate and spread, the downfall of an enslaving system will occur.
Jesus says, “Love your neighbor as yourself”.
The important thing is to serve God. And God will through the righteous life of many bring about His ends socially in the world.
So if you’re a slave, be a good slave.
If you’re a master, be a good master.
If you’re a wife, be a good wife … whatever it is. So, he says if you’re a slave, don’t worry about it. One thing that Paul didn’t want was a whole lot of Christian slaves revolting. Can you imagine a Christian revolution? It wouldn’t work.
You know, that’s what they expected Jesus to do when He came into the world. Remember? They expected Jesus to come as the Messiah and overthrow Rome. Then Christianity would have gone down in all of history as a political movement, wouldn’t it? Jesus said no. That isn’t what it is. It’s change on the inside. Slavery is fine if God has called you in that status. And built into the Christian righteousness pattern like leaven moving through a society is the destruction and death of evil in that society as Christianity penetrates.
Notice what he says in verse 21 at the end of the verse. “If thou mayest be free, then use it rather.”
But I’m not saying you’ve got to stay a slave. Now some people use this passage, they turn the end of the verse around to mean, even if you have liberty offered to you, turn it down. Boy, if you were saved a slave, you are a slave. No. No, I think what he’s saying here is if you’re saved a slave, then don’t worry it but if freedom comes along, grab it. And you know, in Rome there was the provision, in fact marry owners kept a nest egg and they added money into it all the time until finally it got to the place where the guy could buy his own freedom.
So the definition wasn’t that necessarily oppressive, in some cases there were cruel masters but you could be a slave and it could be tolerable. Don’t worry about it. But if your freedom comes, use it. And this just means God’s giving you that and taking you another step.
The book of Philemon gives a great example of this picture of Paul’s Principle.
Philemon was a Christian man in Colossae. He had a slave among other slaves. He was probably a very wealthy man. One of his slaves was named Onesimus. And Onesimus decided he wanted his freedom. So Onesimus stole some stuff out of Philemon’s house, packed his little bag and hustled off to Rome … and what he was figuring to lose himself in the mob at Rome. And while he was mingling with the crowd at Rome, he ran into a very interesting man by the name of Paul which began a very dramatic transformation in the life of Onesimus.
10 I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds:
Paul was undoubtedly a prisoner here and somehow he got in connection with Onesimus and led Onesimus to Christ. Onesimus became a Christian and, Oh, Paul loved him.
In verse 11 he says,
11 which in time past was to thee unprofitable, but now profitable to thee and to me:
“This guy was profitable and I really cared for him and he was important to me.” But one day, Paul and Onesimus were kind of getting down to it and they sat down and Onesimus said, “Hey, Paul, I’ve got to tell you something. I don’t know how this is going to go over but I’m … I’m a runaway slave.”
Well, that must have really crushed Paul. What was he going to do? Well, who’s your master? Well, he’s Philemon, you know, a Christian over at Colossae. That even made it worse. Oh well, what could Paul do?
“Well, look, slavery’s a rotten institution anyway, just cool it and I’ll keep you here and no one will ever know. That’s one thing, we’ll just hide you.”
The other one would be, I’ll send you back with a letter telling Philemon what I think of him as a slave owner. And Philemon could have been, “Dear Philemon, let all your slaves go, slavery’s a rotten institution.”
Or, Paul could have just said no, according to this society, we have a social status of masters and slaves, you’re a slave, you disobeyed the rules of society, you have to go back and make it right. And that’s what he did. And he sent Onesimus back with a letter. And you know what the letter says?
12 whom I have sent again: thou therefore receive him, that is, mine own bowels:
“Hey, Philemon, here comes your slave and he’s really been great to me and I’ve led him to Jesus Christ, would you accept him as a brother? Would you take him back in good graces as your good slave? I think he’ll serve you better than he’s ever served you.” And off hustles Onesimus with the letter.
And, you know, he had a lot to risk because slaves in those days for running away could be killed or at best they could have a brand in their head. They put a big “F” on their head for fugitivus which means “runaway.” So he could have paid a high price. But Onesimus, now in the bonds of Christ, goes back and gives the letter and tradition tells us Philemon embraced him with open arms and they were accepted as brothers together, even though he continued to be a servant and a slave.
Now in all of Philemon, Paul says nothing about slavery. He doesn’t condemn it. He doesn’t tell Philemon to set Onesimus free. He just accepts the social status that Onesimus was in and knew he could go back and be a slave and it wouldn’t have any effect of his Christian life.
Now, some people have criticized Paul for not attacking the system of slavery, but the point is this, people, if Christianity had encouraged the ending of slavery, then Christianity would have been seen as a political revolution and Christians would have been killed in a revolution. And I would add another thing. If Christian slaves had started to disrupt society, then the major issue would have been lost, the issue of faith in Jesus Christ.
Now you know what’s happened in America. Every time Christianity, quote/unquote, attaches itself to a social movement, the message of Christianity gets totally lost. Given the Christian faith, emancipation is bound to happen. But the time was not ripe. So Paul says don’t concern yourself with your earthly state. Don’t concern yourself with a situation that is superficial. The major issue is internal.
Now let’s look at verse 22.
22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant.
And here he draws a very interesting paradox that is not really totally understandable if you keep pushing it out, but in simplicity, it’s very clear. “He that is called in the Lord being a servant, or a slave, is the Lord’s free man.” He that is called in the Lord while … he that is saved while he’s a slave is really the Lord’s free man.
Do you understand that? I mean, what does it matter if you’re a human slave or a physical slave if you’re freed from sin, freed from Satan, freed from hell, freed from the curse of the law? I mean, what does it matter that you have to serve somebody else? I mean, you’re really God’s free man.
And on the other hand, he says, “Likewise, he that is called being free,” in other words, somebody who gets saved while he’s a free man, “becomes Christ’s slave.”
All he’s simply saying is you maybe a slave physically, you’re a free man spiritually and you may be a free man physically, but you’re a slave spiritually. In other words, he just kind of shows the fact that nothing really matters on the surface. It doesn’t matter whether you’re physically bound or free, it only matters that you’re both physically bound and free in the paradox of Christianity.
Do you understand that paradox? That as a Christian you’re the servant of Jesus Christ and yet as a Christian you’re free from the law, from sin, from Satan, from hell, from the curse. Do you understand that paradox? That’s what he’s saying. Christ has totally set you free to be His servant. Don’t worry about the superficial situation you’re in.
23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
Don’t ever again consider yourself a slave. You may be a physical slave but you don’t go around saying I’ve got to get rid of the bondage of my slavery.” Listen, you’re not really a slave to men. If you happen to be a Christian slave, you’re a Christian slave because God has you there and He bought you with a price and you’re His slave, His servant.
And that’s what I read you earlier in Ephesians 6, that when you serve your master, do it heartily as unto whom? The Lord. You’re really serving God. You ought to obey your employer as if he were Jesus Christ incarnate.
That’s his point. If I am a slave, my service is to God. If I am free, my service is to God. It doesn’t matter. He bought me with a price.
What was the price?
18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers;
19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:
You’re really God’s servant. Don’t worry about externals.
24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
However it is that you’ve been called, however it is that you’ve been set apart, whatever status in life you’ve been allotted by the divine sovereignty of God, maintain it, hold on to it.
God has you there for a reason. And conversion is no signal for a man to leave his occupation, for a man to leave his wife, for a man automatically to panic and want to get married, no.
All of life is God’s, we are all His servants. He places us in all different positions and we are to serve Him in those positions. Let’s concentrate on spiritual service, concentrate on obedience and let the social thing take care of itself as the leaven of righteousness will permeate a society and bring about change.
So, Paul says to the Corinthians,
Don’t make your Christianity the cause for the hatred of the world.
If the world is going to reject, make sure they’re rejecting with the knowledge of Jesus Christ, not rejecting out of the fear of a political play that you may be making on their society.