21.6.6p - Ephesians 4.25-5.2 - Imitators of God

Ephesians 4:23--24 (ESV) --- 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

In Ephesians 4:23-24, we read that we are supposed to be something totally different than those around us. So our goal is to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. We want to put on a new version of ourselves that is created in the likeness of God, in true righteousness and true holiness. Why do we want to put on a new self? Because we know that our old self pursues things that are futile and worthless. The old me would be hardened to the deceitfulness of sin and would become callous to the ways and the will of God. I can't be like that anymore because I understand what God has done for me, and now I want to be what gives him glory.

What does that look like? It's one thing to say that we are renewed in our hearts and our minds, and something else entirely to actually be renewed. This is where Paul gets into some of the details of a renewed life. Now he speaks practically as he tells us what we must do to live a renewed life for God. It's not rocket science, but everything he tells us to do is more complicated than it seems.

Ephesians 4:25--32 (ESV) --- 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Let's break this down by topic and look at what Paul is telling us more closely. I see three different topics being discussed: Honesty, Integrity, and Love.

Honesty

Ephesians 4:25 (ESV) --- 25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

The first thing he tells us to do is be honest about everything. Most of us would consider ourselves honest people. I mean, we bend the truth now and then, but only when the occasion really warrants it. We would never lie for no reason. But is Paul telling us to be honest when it doesn't matter or to be honest when it is hard to be honest? Falsehood includes all things that are not true. That means if I get in a situation where I can bend the truth a little and get what I want, I don't do it. God is not feeding us a bunch of lies to manipulate us into doing what he wants us to do. So we are not supposed to manipulate one another.

Notice that he gives a reason for us to speak the truth with each other. He says, "We are members one of another." How helpful is it for us to lie to ourselves? We all do it, but it is one of the most harmful things we can do to ourselves. We say things like, "I want that so I have to have it," "I can't have a good day if someone hurts my feelings," "To be happy I must be loved by everyone," "Things have to go right," "I should always be happy in spite of my hardship." None of these are true, but we tell ourselves these things all the time, and we live our lives as though they are true. We avoid good things for fear of bad things. When we say, "I can't do that" or "I have to do that," it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we tell ourselves we can't control something, we fail to control it. This leads to depression and self-hate. Some of us tell ourselves lies that lead to anxiety. We tell ourselves, "If I speak to them about God, they will hate me." Speaking lies to ourselves destroys our lives. Instead of taking a chance or making a change, we freeze and miss out on opportunities to live for God. Do we believe that God is pleased by us making ourselves miserable? Can you imagine God saying, "Look at them refusing to trust me after all the blessings I have given them? Why do they believe these lies?"

If we can see the destructive nature of lying to ourselves, can we also see the destructive nature of lying to one another? We are members of one another. When we hurt each other, we are hurting ourselves. I know we enjoy pleasantries. I enjoy saying, "Hi, how are you today?" It makes me feel good to hear, "I'm doing great! How are you?" But I can't show you the love you need if you aren't open about what is going on in your life. If I do something that hurts you, I can't apologize or explain how that was never my intention. Also, if we lie to manipulate each other, we will break down the trust we need to work together. God wants us to put away all falsehoods and speak the truth with one another. That means that I should be able to reveal my opinion while understanding that others won't share it, and that's okay. We may disagree, and I may not see things work out how I think they should. But sharing my opinion has helped others consider different perspectives, and we can all work together to make the best decision we can. This is not saying we should be harsh, obtuse, or oppressive when we speak the truth. But it is encouraging honesty.

Integrity

Ephesians 4:26--29 (ESV) --- 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Self-Control

The next idea Paul wants the renewed mind to consider is our need to love each other. Paul says, be angry and do not sin. What does that mean? Is Paul telling us to be angry? I don't think so. Jesus commanded us not to get angry with our brother, or else we would be liable to judgment (Matthew 5:22-26). James says that the anger of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God. Even Paul, later in this same passage, tells us not to be angry with one another (Eph 4:31). So what is Paul saying? He is telling us that we need to control ourselves. Anger is a natural response to a discouraging or evil situation. But Paul doesn't want that anger to stay with us, and he does not want our anger to drive us to a loss of integrity. Integrity is our ability to uphold our moral principles during trials and tests.

The world will often tell us to vent our anger. Even religious people will point out that God is often angry and vents his anger on us. Venting anger is often sinful when we do it, but God's anger is always righteous. He only gets angry after much longsuffering and patience. Our anger is quick and often uncalled for. When Paul says, "Don't let the sun go down on your anger," he is not telling us to vent it. He is telling us to overcome anger with our renewed minds. He is telling us to remember who we are. When our brethren or our enemies anger us, we need to calm ourselves down. If we react in anger, we will act insane. Paul says we are allowing the devil to divide and destroy us. Instead, we need to hold fast to our integrity.

Stealing

Having self-control is the first part of his discussion on integrity. Next, he says we shouldn't be stealing anymore. Stealing happens in many different ways. Sometimes we take things that aren't ours. Other times we give a false impression that we need something we don't need. We compromise the truth to get more money or more stuff. The renewed mind isn't so focused on this world that it does something wrong to get more. We get a lot of panhandlers coming in here asking for a handout. I have them knocking on my door throughout the week. One time one of them asked me, "Is it wrong to take money when people give it to you?" That's a twisted way of justifying your panhandling. The truth is it's wrong to take things under false pretense. If I have what I need, I shouldn't be acting like I don't have enough. If I can work and provide for myself, I should be doing that instead of mooching off other people. God did not save us so that we could take advantage of other people's kindness and accumulate great wealth at the expense of others. The renewed mind and heart seek to serve others, not to be served.

As we enjoy the blessings we have in Christ, our goal in life should be to love and serve each other. Therefore, whatever our hands find to do should be done with all our might, looking for the opportunity to use what God gives us to serve each other.

Speech

In verse 29, Paul says for us to "let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths." What does that mean? What qualifies as corrupting talk? Some might think of this as cuss words and all the evil things that those bad people say. But consider what corrupts pure hearts? Consider the types of words we might say that bring people to doubt instead of faith? There are many things I can say that will tear down the work of God instead of building it up. So we must resolve ourselves to never corrupt a brother or sister.

As we listen to corrupting speech of the world, this becomes increasingly difficult. It's so easy to talk like we hear other people talking. I think this is one area that I struggle with repeatedly. I enjoy making witty remarks, but I usually fail to consider how people perceive those remarks. I fail to consider whether those funny things have a corrupting influence. There is nothing wrong with being funny, but the world uses humor to corrupt our hearts. TV teaches us that things are okay because we joke about them. One of my favorite shows was co-written by a man who was homosexual and pushing the homosexual agenda. His jokes made people comfortable with what is now widely accepted. We can't pretend that we are unaffected by corrupting words when we see a massive shift in morality like that. The garbage that goes into our ears quickly becomes garbage that comes out of our mouths. The scary thing is that Jesus said, "Out of the heart the mouth speaks." If corrupting thoughts come out of our mouths, that means we are already corrupted. We aren't pure in heart like the new man should be. Our speech should indicate to everyone that we are men and women of principle. We have integrity, whether they do or not.

Our goal should be to follow the instructions of Paul. Paul wants us only to say what is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that you might give grace to those who hear. What if everything I said fit that description? How encouraging would that be? What if everything I said was a blessing to those who hear it? It would be great to be a part of a community that only speaks what will build people up in the Lord. That's what the renewed mind does.

Look at the words, "As fits the occasion." Did you know some things may be good to say at some times and destructive to say at other times? We need to take into account how people will respond and what they are ready to hear. We want to give grace to people. We do not want to turn people away from God or destroy their faith in God.

Speech is one of the most challenging areas for us to hold on to our integrity. Even Job slipped as he was suffering greatly. He let out words that showed a proud heart toward God and had to repent of it. But Jesus never slipped. He never spoke a corrupt word, and he saved us so that we could be renewed to live like him.

Grieving the Holy Spirit

In the last section, Paul tells us some old ways that prevent us from loving others. But first, he says that we are grieving the Holy Spirit when the old self clings to us. This is not a complicated idea, but it deserves some consideration. If we lie, get angry, steal, and corrupt our brethren, we work against God and not for him. It's like having a player on the basketball team constantly trying to score for the other team. When we give in to the old ways of living, we act like God has done nothing for us. Those who are renewed don't grieve the Holy Spirit because their mission in life is to bring God praise. Instead, they give him joy when they work with the Holy Spirit to have a renewed mind, heart, and life. When we hold fast to the moral principles God is teaching us through Christ, we make God proud. Maybe we don't succeed from a worldly standpoint, but our heavenly Father couldn't be more proud to call us his own. We need to have that perspective in ourselves.

Love

In verse 31, Paul says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice be put away from you." Think about how easy it is for us to become bitter over the failures of the body of Christ. It's easy to get bitter over discouragements, and it's easy for us to become angry or wrathful. Instead of rejoicing over the blessings we have, we become bitter over the pain of dealing with the immature. Why are bitterness, wrath, and clamor our response? Why do we think it's acceptable to slander them or speak words of malice against them? Why not love them enough to tell them the truth and help them?

The final words we will look at are penetrating. Paul tells us to be kind to one another. Why is that so hard? I tell my kids to be kind all the time. But they struggle as I do. Why? We need a completely different mindset to be kind. Think about all of the barriers we have to overcome. It takes a lot of work to speak kindly. We have to stop being selfish. That's a struggle because we are good at being selfish. We are trained at an early age to serve ourselves, and we don't like letting that go. I don't like being kind to evil people. I even get a sick satisfaction out of being mean to them. But that's not how God wants us to act. He wants to see tenderheartedness in us. That means that we open our hearts up to people and make ourselves vulnerable to those who might crush us.

If I'm honest with myself, I really hate that idea. It really bums me out to know that people are going to break my heart. But then I consider how God has opened his heart up to me, and I not only do it, I do it with joy! Every time I have turned against God, he has looked at me with love. I have received more love from God than I could ever possibly deserve. He wants us to show that same love to each other. As he forgives us, we must forgive those around us. We don't hold grudges, get angry, or make them feel our wrath. We make them feel God's love because that is the only thing that will penetrate a heart of stone.

Conclusion

There are a few more words for us to consider as we think about the new self that we are supposed to put on.

Ephesians 5:1--2 (ESV) --- 1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

These words tell us everything we just studied and much more. We can add infinite items to the list. We should do everything we do with honesty, love, and joyful service toward those around us. As Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, we must imitate God as beloved children and walk in that same love.