Part 4 - How to Raise Godly Parents (and Children)

Deuteronomy 6:4–7 ESV

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

The Hebrew echad - one

Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Hebrew (Old Testament) 285 אֶחָד

285 אֶחָד (ʾě·ḥāḏ): number [BDB: adj.num.]; ≡ Str 259; TWOT 61—1. LN 60.10 one, a, an, i.e., a cardinal number in contrast to more than one (Ge 2:21); 2. LN 60.46 first, i.e., an ordinal number, as the first in a series involving time, space, or set (Ge 2:11); 3. LN 60.67–60.74 one time, once, i.e., a single occurrence, possibly in some contexts to the exclusion of all other occurrences (Nu 14:15; Job 9:3; Ps 89:36[EB 35]); 4. LN 63.1–63.4 one, i.e., that which is united as one in contrast to separate parts (Ge 2:24; Dt 6:4); 5. LN 59.23–59.34 each, every, i.e., one as a part of a totality (Ex 36:30); 6. LN 92.11–92.25 certain one, i.e., a reference to a person which is not explicit, but only one reference (1Sa 1:1); 7. LN 58.47–58.53 only, i.e., one of a unique class or kind, and so distinctive (Jos 22:20; 1Ki 4:19; SS 6:9; Zec 14:9); 8. LN 61 unit: אֶחָד לְ־ אֶחָד (ʾě·ḥāḏ l- ʾě·ḥāḏ) one by one, i.e., a sequence of single units (Isa 27:12), note: cf. also 2522; note: the NIV text in Eze 42:4, see 4395; 9. LN 63.5–63.8 unit: שְׁכֶם אֶחָד (šeḵěm ʾě·ḥāḏ) in unity, formally, one shoulder, i.e., pertaining to serving in a unified or unanimous manner (Zep 3:9+), note: NIV translates “shoulder to shoulder,” see also domain LN 31.14–31.25

Marriage is hard work. Parenting is hard work. In scripture there has never been a perfect marriage. Dr William McCrae’s advice rings true - every marriage has problems. The difference between a good marriage and a bad marriage is that in a good marriage they have learned how to deal with their problems.

In a fallen world we must lean on the grace and strength of Christ. We need to be people of prayer and people of consistent and steady character and resilient and enduring faith.

You’ll notice in these passages that the how is given but it demands that you search for it, in the words of Proverbs,

Proverbs 2:1–6 ESV

1 My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, 2 making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; 3 yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, 4 if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. 6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;

(1) The most important relationship in parenting is the husband wife relationship (Ephesians 5:22-33)

We are in union with Christ, we are one with Christ. Through the Holy Spirit who is our constant companion and supporter and enabler we have the presence of Christ.

Paul uses the language of Genesis 2:24

Genesis 2:24 ESV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Paul changes “they shall become” to “the two shall become” one flesh

This is trinitarian language. That two individuals become one and submit to one another, honor one another, cherish one another and seek to have intimate fellowship with one another.

The third person in this relationship is Jesus through the constant presence of the Spirit

We are really attacking selfish individualism in this passage

(2) Of all the things you think your child should be, the Lord says, “be obedient” (Ephesians 6:1-3)

When it comes to raising children, the advice of

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

continues to be truth but for every child not departing from the road of moral obedience there is the rebellious child and the arrogant child (the prodigal son and self righteous older brother), there is the angry and violent son (Cain who killed his brother Abel), there is the Solomon who left the Lord for wealth and women only to come back later in life and the Jacob who was a deceiver until he was humbled and broken by the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1–3 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

What do you want your child to be?

Strong willed, independent, a leader, free thinking, not susceptible to peer pressure,

We often want children to act like adults when they need to be godly children first in order to become godly adults. Immature children who behave like immature adults will often become immature adults.

Children - of any age who are under the roof of their parents

Obey - hear under, place yourselves under the authority of your parents, listen and do.

in the Lord - the realm of choice

this is right - God says it is right

Obey - honor your father and mother, honor is the attitude, obey is the action

The opposite of honor is dishonor

Why do we want to teach our children to obey in action and honor in attitude?

That it may go well with them

Children who did not honor his parents:

Genesis - Cain was jealous and disobedient and angry

Jacob deceived his father

The children of Eli in 1 Samuel

The prodigal who came to his senses - that the Spirit might regenerate our children and place faith in their hearts

Don’t give up, don’t stop praying, don’t stop loving, don’t stop standing for truth, don’t stop saying no

(3) Children learn to do what is right from their parents (Ephesians 6:4)

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Four kinds of parents in today’s culture. You might one or two in your home.

Frustrated

Fearful

Angry

Passive

While these are four categories, they can be put together. Frustrated and angry, fearful and angry, fearful and passive, passive and angry. You can have tow parents who are completely different. A passive parent and a frustrated parent. An angry parent and a fearful parent. But we don’t want to focus so much on what not be but on what the Lord says you should be striving to be IN CHRIST

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

How to prevent juvenile delinquency:

The key to parent child relationships

Provoke: to irritate, to make mad or angry

How to provoke your child:

Men - provide, initiate, model, encourage

A culture of overt praise, but not for character - the I can do anything (but lose) culture, this partners with the you should share, you don’t need to share.

Women - Supervise, love

The father of Proverbs - look at them, look at me

Eli and his sons - he did not rebuke or restrain

Elkanah and his passiveness

God the Father at the baptism of Jesus - This is my son whom I love

Paul in Colossians - mother father - gently, encouraging, urging them to live lives worthy of God

It’s very easy to go home and crack the whip, things are going to change around here. But may I suggest prayer and self examination and a gradual gently approach?