The Purpose of Marriage

Turn to Mark 10:1

The marriage rate in the U.S. is at its lowest point in history[1]

Between 1978 and 2018, the share of adults between 18 and 34 who were married plummeted from 59% to 29% [1]

More than 66% of first marriages in the U.S. are preceded by cohabitation—a number that was virtually 0% fifty years ago[2]

An increase in 900% since the 1960s [3]

Christianity Today article

· 37% of all marriages in the US end in divorce. [5]

Roughly one in two children will see their parent’s marriage breakup. [5]

21% of children are being raised without their fathers in America.[5]

What's the solution? It’s not enough to resist cultural attempts to redefine marriage. We must return to the Creator's design for marriage in the first place.

Read Mark 10:1-12

1 And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.

2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Overview of the Series

Next week we’re going to talk about the PATTERN FOR MARRIAGE—God’s design that marriage be between one man and one woman.

“two shall become one flesh” (v. 8)

Then we’ll talk about the PERSONS IN MARRIAGE—God’s design that marriage be between male and female.

“male and female,” “man... wife” (vv. 6-7)

Then we’ll talk about the PERMANENCE OF MARRIAGE—what does Scripture teach about divorce?

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (9)

Overview of the Passage

Verse 1-2—Jesus is teaching as usual when Pharisees try to trick Him about marriage and divorce

Verse 3—Jesus points them to the Scriptures

When we’re talking about marriage, it doesn’t matter what I think. It matters what God says. After all, He’s the one who created marriage.

Verse 4—The Pharisees talk about a provision Moses made (we’ll talk more about it in a few weeks)

Verses 5-6a—Jesus replies, “No, no, no. Don’t talk to me about how marriage has been stained by sin. Let’s talk about marriage as God intended it.”

The Pharisees want to talk about divorce, Jesus wants to talk about marriage.

The Purpose of Marriage

Two truths about marriage that help us understand its purpose:

1. Marriage is FROM God.

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (9)

IN GENESIS...

God, not Adam, saw the need for marriage

God, not Adam, created the solution

God performed the first marriage ceremony

God didn't create marriage, then take a backseat. Jesus says "What God HAS joined together."

The Pharisees are trying to “redefine” marriage by changing the rules about when a marriage can end. Jesus says no! It’s not up to you to redefine this. Marriage is from God. It’s His idea, and we don’t have the right to change it.

We try to redefine marriage by changing the rules about who can be in a marriage. Jesus says no! It’s not up to you to redefine this. Marriage is from God. It’s His idea, and we don’t have the right to change it.

Marriage comes from God. But why? God doesn't create anything randomly or haphazardly. Why did God create marriage?

2. Marriage is FOR God.

Let’s start with what it’s not. . .

A) The Primary Purpose of Marriage is Not Romance

Think about the first marriage: any romance in the garden is after the wedding

Not saying romance isn't important—it's the fruit, not the root of a happy marriage

If romance is the root, what happens when romance dies?

How many parents divorce because the feelings of romance have died?

B) The Primary Purpose of Marriage is Not Intimacy

Physical intimacy was the fruit, not the root of the first marriage

Pat Robertson—divorce a wife with Alzheimer's

If physical intimacy is the root then he’s right!

What about relational intimacy? Does marriage offer a kind of intimacy in relationships that is unavailable to the single?

Careful. Jesus isn’t married.

David and Jonathan, Paul

Sam Allberry—“Singleness lends itself to [another] kind of intimacy; it provides the opportunity and freedom for it. So while I might not know the unique depth of intimacy a married friend enjoys, there is a unique breadth of intimacy available to singles that married friends would not be as able to experience.”[7]

C) The Primary Purpose of Marriage is Not Happiness

Many believe this, which is why so many marriages end in divorce because the couple isn’t “happy” anymore!

“. . . for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. . .”

Happiness may be a fruit, but it’s certainly not the root, of marriage

D) The Primary Purpose of Marriage is Not Childbearing

We’re getting warmer. Marriage according to God’s design is unique in being the only human relationship that can legitimately reproduce.

That said, children can be the fruit of marriage, but they are not its root

If children are the purpose of your marriage, what happens to the infertile?

If children are the purpose of your marriage, what happens when the children grow up?

E) The Primary Purpose of Marriage is to Glorify God

Verse 6—from the beginning of creation

God’s design in all creation was to demonstrate His glory!

Westminster Shorter Catechism, Q1—What is the chief end of man? Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

How does marriage glorify God?

Marriage shows us the shape of the Gospel

Ephesians 5:31-32—“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

In a healthy marriage, a husband will sacrifice even his life for his bride, as Christ dies for His church

In a healthy marriage, a wife will submit to the loving leadership of her husband as Christians submit to Christ

In a healthy marriage, the couple commits til death parts them as nothing separates us from the love of Christ

In the comedy Zoolander, Derek Zoolander is a male model in the fashion industry. In his own words, he is“ridiculously good looking,” but he’s also ridiculously stupid.

At one point in the film, someone decides to build a school in his honor: “The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good.” He presents Derek with a miniature architectural model of what will eventually be built. Zoolander looks carefully and thoughtfully at it, before shouting “What is this?!” He throws the model onto the floor then continues, “A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read . . . if they can’t even fit inside the building. . . . The center has to be at least . . . three times bigger than this!”

Derek Zoolander has mistaken the model for the reality.

We do the same thing with marriage. Marriage is a model that shows us the shape of the Gospel, but it isn’t the Gospel. It’s meant to point us to the real thing, not substitute it.

In all our talk about the goodness of marriage, we must not forget that we follow in the footsteps of a celibate, single man from Nazareth.

How does singleness glorify God?

Singleness shows us the sufficiency of the Gospel

The single Christian trusts Jesus’ provision, despite losing a spouse to death or divorce

The single Christian trusts Jesus’ wisdom, despite longing for a spouse that never comes

The single Christian trusts Jesus’ Words, living celibately in a world that says “if it feels good, do it.”

[1]https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2020-04-29/us-marriage-rate-drops-to-record-low

[2]https://www.thespruce.com/cohabitation-facts-and-statistics-2302236#:~:text=Today%20the%20vast%20majority%20(66,with%20parents%20who%20were%20cohabiting.

[3]https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/9-things-you-should-know-about-cohabitation-in-america/

[4]https://www.ceousa.org/2020/02/26/percentage-of-births-to-unmarried-women/#:~:text=Late%20last%20year%2C%20the%20final,isn't%20that%20appalling%3F).

[5]https://legaljobs.io/blog/children-of-divorce-statistics/#:~:text=36.6%25%20of%20all%20marriages%20in,age%20of%207%20and%2014.

[6]http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justintaylor/2008/07/10/warfield-one-productive-life-and-one/

[7]Sam Allberry, 7 Myths About Singleness, 62.