Becoming Who We Are: How Our New Identity in Christ Shapes Our Character

When I had just finished the sixth grade, we made the decision that I would begin public school for the seventh grade. I had gone to a private Christian school every year up to that point. But at the age of 12, I transitioned from that private Christian school to a public middle school.

Those days were hard because I didn’t know, really, what I was getting myself into. I was thrust into a totally new indifferent where people dressed differently, where they talked very differently. The whole public school environment was radically different from anything I had known before. The kids were less kind than I was accustomed to (to say the least). Even the teachers seemed harder and less sympathetic than I had been used to.

And when I think back over those years in middle school, I realize that what I was struggling with the most was my identity. Who was I? More importantly, who did I want to be? What kind of person did I want to become? There were all kinds of different identities to choose from. Did I want to be an alternative type kid who wore Airwalk shoes and rode BMX bikes? Or did I want to wear a cowboy hat and boots? Did I want to be a a preppy guy who dressed nicely and had tons of friends?

I didn’t have the mental sophistication then to realize that that was the kind of choice that I was making, but it was nonetheless. What I do remember is one day, walking down the hall between classes. I had just, I don’t know, picked last for PE or something like that. And that kind of thing had happened alot. And so that day, walking down the hall - I can still remember the exactly location in that school building where I was - walking down the hall that day I made a commitment to myself that I would do anything — I would say anything — in order to just be accepted. And that was the day that I began to walk away from the Lord. That was the day I started fearing the other 7th graders around me more than I feared Him.

It’s not just me who had that experience. If things were hard in 1992, things are monumentally more difficult for young people in 2021. Because now you don’t just have to decide what kind of person you want to be or what type of clothes you want to wear. Now, schools and teachers and other education experts encourage students to question their sexual orientation and even to question their gender. So on top of the normal problems of being an adolescent like just wanting to fit in, now those in authority have added a tremendous burden to these kids — something additional they have to figure out about themselves.

How that’s not considered a form of child abuse I don’t know. But here’s what I do know: Your identity — how you see yourself — might be one of the most important things about you. Why? Because your identity is your sense of self; your identity is how you see yourself and others in relation to yourself. And because, your identity, your sense of who you are, will determine everything else in your life. You feel like you’re not capable? You might not try to go to college or try to get a high paying job. You think that people won’t like you when they get to know you? Then you’ll end up isolating yourself.

I’d like to suggest that this identity crisis that we’re talking about this morning is not something God ever intended for us to experience. Adam and Eve had a clear identity, not one they constructed for themselves; it was an identity God gave to them. Made in His image. Made to work. Made to love one another. Made to steward the creation around them. And made to do all of this in the context of a loving relationship with their Creator.

Sin shattered all of that, and we’re left to pick up the pieces of our broken identity and put them back together. And God, in Christ, offers us relief from the confusion of trying to figure out who we are. He offers us an identity. Yes, it’s an identity that we did not form ourselves. Yes, it’s an identity that has been given to us. And yes, it’s the identity we were always intended to have, and God is committed to restoring that identity in us, and changing us gradually, piece by piece, into the image of the One whose identity we bear.

#1: Because we have a new identity, Christ’s character clothes us (vv. 12-14)

New American Standard Bible, 1995 Edition: Paragraph Version Chapter 3

12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and epatience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is athe perfect bond of unity.

Because have a new identity, Christ’s character clothes us.

First of all, what is this new identity we’ve been given in Christ? We see it in the very first verse: “As those who have been chosen of God”. Chosen of God. God wanted to have you as His own. He was not satisfied to leave you alone and separated from Him for all eternity. You have been chosen by God.

Chosen of God. God referred to the Israelites that way. It’s a term of affection and love. Tenderness and commitment.

Now a human being might choose to marry another person, but then change their mind. It happens all the time. A parent might choose to have a child but then leave the child when it gets too hard. But when God is said to have chosen us, we remember that God never changes His mind; He never goes back on his word. He never says, “You know what, this just isn’t working for me anymore.” No, God chooses us and we are so chosen forever. I love what Charles Spurgeon said about the fact of God choosing us.

Now, because we are chosen of God, we are also, Paul tells us, holy and beloved. We are holy, which means set apart, consecrated, set aside for special use. It implies moral character and integrity. And Paul tells us we are beloved by God. We who were once the objects of God’s wrath and His love are now the objects of His love alone. You are loved no matter how you acted yesterday or today or how you’ll act tomorrow. You are loved even though God sees the darkest parts of your heart, the parts you don’t dare show anyone else. All of that is perfectly visible to God, and yet He still chooses to see you as both holy and loved.

Church, notice this with me and pay attention to it. If you have trusted in Christ, this is who you are. Your mistakes and sins of the past do not define you; God still sees you as holy and beloved. Your mistakes and sins of today and tomorrow will not define you; God still will see you as holy and beloved.

Now this can get a little hard to believe sometimes, especially if this is new to you.

Back in 2003, I had taken a trip with some college friends to Niagara Falls. We flew up there on a Thursday and our return flight was booked for the following Sunday. So Sunday evening we get to the airport there in Buffalo and they announce that the flight is oversold. Anybody every been through that before? So they’re announcing it and trying to sweeten the pot. And the lady finally comes on and says, “Ladies and gentlemen, we are prepared to off you overnight accommodations tonight, the first flight to Charlotte tomorrow morning, first class seating, and two vouchers for two free roundtrip flights anywhere within the continental US. I don’t know if they still do that. This was 18 years ago.

Anyway, I had always wanted to go visit my friend Cory in Seattle. I thought about it, and when I noticed no one had taken the deal yet, I started to get up. My friends were like “Don’t you dare make us fly back without you!” But I said, “Sorry guys, this is something I can’t pass up.”

So I did it. They shuttled me to the Hilton near the airport, gave me a suite that I could never have paid for myself, and put me on first class back to Charlotte the next morning. It didn’t seem weird, though, until that last thing. I was on the plane, in first class, surrounded by people who were either really wealthy or really important. The ladies behind me are talking pretentiously about flying and traveling and which destinations they’ll never visit again and which airlines were just unacceptable to them. The poeple in front of me or behind me are tapping on the keys of their laptops, dressed in suits, no doubt orchestrating some business deal. And here I was, a 23-year-old kid wearing shorts, flip flops and a hoodie. And I wanted to say, “You know what? I don’t belong up here. I’m going to back to the back of the plane. Just picture me not here. I was never hear.”

Of course I didn’t do that, but it doesn’t illustrate my point. When you aren’t accustomed to something, it feels strange. And if you’re not accustomed to seeing yourself, if you’re a Christian, as holy and loved and chosen of God, that’s understandable. But you absolutely must do what you can to train yourself to believe that that is true.

Why? Because your identity — who you see yourself as — will always shape how you live. God has wired us so that there would be a match-up between how we think of ourselves and how we live. If you feel like a shameful person, you’ll do shameful things. If you believe you’re not a holy man or a holy woman, you won’t do holy things. You know what the key is to living a holy life? Do you know how God strengthens you to live a holy life? By always pointing you back to Him, and who He Himself, because there in we find who we are.

So that’s who we are: chosen of God, holy, and blameless. These are attributes that are applied to Jesus throughout the NT. Jesus was called the “Holy One of God”. Jesus was called the “chosen cornerstone”. So now God takes those attributes that previously applied only to Jesus, and He applies them to us! Jesus was holy and blameless. Because we are in Him by faith, we are holy and blameless. If you’re not born again, this is not true of you. But it will be if you trust in Christ and give your life to him.

God really and truly sees us as holy and blameless. And because of that, Paul is saying, we can begin to live that way too. So how do we do that? We have to make a choice, each day, maybe even each hour, to begin to live the way God sees us. In other words, we have to become who we are. If you’re holy and blameless and loved by God, act like it.

New American Standard Bible, 1995 Edition: Paragraph Version Chapter 3

12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and epatience

And so verse 12 says “as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved” — in other words, in keeping with your new identity in Christ, “put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Consider this a change of clothing. You’ll notice that Paul uses the term “put on”. Previously in chapter 3 we were told by “put off” what belongs to the old you, the you before your salvation. Now we are told what to “put on”. We’re given five garments to put on, so to speak. And each of them have to do with how we treat others.

I don’t have time to talk in depth about all of these, not if you guys want to make it to Golden Corral before our Methodist brethren get there. So let me just take humility. Humility is sandwiched in the middle because it is the centerpiece. What is humility? The basic idea in humility is lowliness. It doesn’t mean that you think poorly of yourself. It doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you. It doesn’t even mean that you can’t assert yourself when you need to. So what is humility?

Well, Jesus exemplified humility perfectly. What was Jesus’ humility like? Jesus didn’t feel like He always had to defend Himself, because He knew His Father would defend Him. Jesus was content to be overlooked by the world, because knew He was not overlooked by His Father. Most importantly, Jesus was content to give up his rights and be mistreated for our sake.

Humility means you’d rather brag about others’ achievements than your own. Humility means you don’t feel the need to tell everyone that you got a promotion at work. Humility means you don’t praise yourself; you’re willing to let others do that for you. Humility means you’d rather be thought of as nothing rather than be seen as someone who is better than they are. Humility means you’re living for the praise of another, Jesus. Basically, humility means that you don’t think any higher, or lesser, of yourself than is right. Have you ever noticed that the most mature and godly people you know are also the people who seem to be willing to talk about themselves the least? That’s humility. We’re to put on the sweater of humility.

But there are four other articles of clothing we’re called to put on now. And humility is required for these four.

1. We’re told to put on a heart of compassion. Note that we aren’t told to “put on” compassion, but rather we are told to put on a “heart” of compassion. The point is that compassion should not be surface-level. You know that feeling you get in your gut when you see someone really suffering? That’s an emotional response that comes from the deepest core of our being. And so compassion, real compassion, is first a feeling of your heart going out to someone who is suffering, and out of that emotional response you are compelled to act. You can’t have kindness without humility, because without humility you’re too consumed by your own problems to have the energy to bother with anyone else.

2. Kindness: you’ve heard the expression “do right by others”? That’s kindness. Jesus expressed it like this: “Treat people the same way you want them to treat you” (Matt. 7:12 NASB). This means honesty, charity, it means serving, meeting people’s basic needs for food, shelter, clothing. Kindness also gets at our tone of voice. How do you speak to others? Do you raise your voice often? Do you insult people, call them names? Do you do this behind their back? Do you do this on social media? It always amazes me how many Christians will come to church and be kind to people on Sunday, but then in the car they pick up their phone and go to facebook and just eviscerate someone who disagrees with them. And all this is done apparently without any sense that it’s wrong. You think you’re being brave and bold by speaking out on Facebook. It’s hard to be brave and bold when you’re hidden behind a computer or a smartphone. That’s not bravery or boldness or standing up for the truth. That’s called being cowardly. you want to be bold and brave and even Christian? Say it to their face. Make that commitment, and then see if you still want to make those comments as much as you did before. It goes without saying that you can’t have kindness without humility. It’s pride that tells us they deserve a tongue-lashing. They may deserve it. But that’s for God to decide and it’s for God to deal with. You focus on being kind. “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord” (Rom. 12:19)

The next is gentleness and patience. I’ll take these two together because they describe how we relate to people who offend us.

1. Don’t respond right away (take time to cool down and pray about what to say. You might find that you don’t need to say anything).

2. Don’t match their tone (just because they raise their voice doesn’t mean you raise yours. In fact, as they raise their voice, you lower yours).

3. Consider what they’re going through and empathize

4. Respond with grace and kindness (Eph. 4:29)

But there’s one last thing Paul tells us we should do because of our identity. He tells us to forgive. Look with me at verse 13:

New American Standard Bible, 1995 Edition: Paragraph Version Chapter 3

13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you

We’re called to forgive. Why? Why should we forgive those who’ve wronged us? Why shouldn’t we make them pay? Because the Lord has forgiven you.

Colossians and Philemon: An Introduction and Commentary iii. Do All in the Name of the Lord Jesus (3:12–17)

First, it is utterly inappropriate for one who knows the joy and release of being forgiven to refuse to share that blessing with another. Second, it is highly presumptuous to refuse to forgive one whom Christ himself has already forgiven.

As a young pastor I sat with a lady who’s daughter had been murdered, brutally so. So long as I live, I will never forget what she told me about her daughter and forgiveness.

This lady wasn’t a member of the church I pastored; she was the sister of one of the members in our church. I remember her telling me about the circumstances of her daughter’s death. It had been 30 years since she disappeared. She was in her early 20s and was working at a grocery store, and one night as she was walking to her car after her shift, she was kidnapped. For days the family agonized, not knowing where she was or why she never came home from work. Finally they got the knock at the door from the police with an answer: They had determined that she had been murdered by the man who kidnapped her.

Do you know what she said? She said, “I wanted so badly to hate this man who killed my daughter. I wanted to hold on to this. I wanted to not forgive the man who did this. But as I was praying through this, I felt like the Lord was gently asking me, “Have I not forgiven you? How, then, can you withhold forgiveness from him?”

Church, that kind of an attitude is not something we are capable of producing on our own. That is divine grace working in her heart. It wasn’t easy, and she couldn’t just forgive him overnight, and it certainly didn’t mean that it was okay that her daughter had been killed. But it mean that, with God’s help, this lady would choose to not hold that crime against him. She knew that God would inflict vengeance; He is a just God.

But that’s not her job, and it’s not ours. Ours is to forgive, as we have been forgiven. The word Paul chose for “forgive” here isn’t actually more common word for “forgive” in the NT. This word means “to extend grace.” Have you received from God? Do you depend on His grace every day? Then extend that same grace to others.

Colossians and Philemon: An Introduction and Commentary iii. Do All in the Name of the Lord Jesus (3:12–17)

First, it is utterly inappropriate for one who knows the joy and release of being forgiven to refuse to share that blessing with another. Second, it is highly presumptuous to refuse to forgive one whom Christ himself has already forgiven.

My dad made his career with the NC Department of Corrections. He went to work with them in 1972, and retired in 2002. He started as a lowly guard, and at retirement he was acting superintendent of Western Youth Institution in Morganton. Needless to say, he got a lot of promotions over the years.

One day, though, he was promoted from Captain to Assistant Superintendent. On a corporate model it would be a VIP senior leadership position. They offered him the job, and then sent him home. Why did they send him home? They sent him home to change clothes. No longer was he to wear the uniform. He left the house that afternoon going back to work, this time with a suit. His new status, his new position, had to be reflected by the clothing he wore.

You and I have been rescued, redeemed, regenerated, justified before God, made holy. We are the special objects of His love. We are the sons and daughters of the King of the universe, and that makes us royals. Royals don’t just wear any clothes. They wear clothes appropriate to people who serve the king. Because we have a new identity in Christ, Christ’s character clothes us.

Next, because we have a new identity, Christ’s peace rules us.

#2: Because we have a new identity, Christ’s peace rules us (v. 15)

New American Standard Bible, 1995 Edition: Paragraph Version Chapter 3

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

On my shelf in my study I have a little book called Who Moved My Pulpit. It’s by Thom Rainer, formerly with Lifeway. At the beginning of the book he tells a story about a pastor named Derek. Things were going well for Derek at his church. He’d been there several years. He’d been preaching faithfully, loving the people, changing things gradually out of respect for their traditions.

But there was one change he decided to make on his own. And that change was switching out the pulpit. You see, Derek had changed his preaching style. It was more conversational. He wanted more connection with the people in the pews. And the old pulpit, he felt, just didn’t match anymore; he felt it was a barrier between him and them.

So one day he moved the old one out and put a new one in. Now before that he thought he had the support of pretty much everyone in the church. After that he realized he didn’t. He came in that first Sunday to see whispering groups in the sanctuary. There were awkward looks. People avoided him. Then came the emails me. One person who emailed him actually said he had committed a heresy and threatened to call a special meeting to vote him out. There were even Facebook posts insulting him and his family — all of this over a pulpit.

There are churches like that, unfortunately. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The word of God tells us here that we have a new identity. We don’t have to revert to insults and name-calling and avoiding people. We don’t have to go back to how we used to treat people. We don’t have to be like the rest of the world in elevating trivial things to supreme importance. Why? We have a new identity, and the peace of Christ rules us.

What is the peace of Christ

Christ’s own peace, not man-made (Jn. 14:27)

Not dependent on circumstances b/c it is internal

Helps unify the church

Enables us to be at peace with each other

Notice how verse 15 is worded.

Number one, Paul calls it “the peace of Christ”. It’s the peace He Himself gives. Jesus promised this, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27)

Number two, it’s a kind of peace that is qualitatively different from the world’s peace. Why? Because it is an inner peace. Paul says “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” (Col. 3:15 NASB). For you and I, having peace within us does not depend upon there being peace around us.

Number three, it helps unify the church. The word “rule” means to act as an umpire. It calls the shots. It determines what’s worth fighting about and what isn’t. Paul has already told us in chapter one that Christ’s death brought about peace between us and God. We’ve been reconciled to God. What he’s saying now is, “Now, out of that peace you enjoy with God, be reconciled to others.” He’s saying, “Look, that peace that you enjoy in your heart, that peace that comes from knowing that because of Christ you are totally and completely and forever loved and accepted by God, let that same peace determine your actions. Let it determine what kinds of things you fight about and the things you don’t fight about. Is a pulpit something worth fighting about?

Paul is saying, “You’re not called to fight with each other about dumb things.” Instead, if you’ll look with me at the end of verse 15, he says not only is peace what is best for a church. It’s what we’re called to.

New American Standard Bible, 1995 Edition: Paragraph Version (Chapter 3)

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

We have a new identity in Christ. We are holy and loved, and chosen by God. Do holy and loved and chosen people fight about dumb things? Only if they have forgotten that they are in fact holy and loved and chosen. Remember, how you see yourself - your self-perception — your identity — will always determine how you live. If you feel unholy and unloved and unwanted by God and by others, guess what? You’re going to get angry about silly things; you’re going to fight and have conflict, because deep down you think that’s the kind of person you are. It is not the kind of person you are. No Christian “If anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation; the old has gone; behold, the new has come.”

Because we have a new identity in Christ, the peace of Christ rules our hearts.

#3: Because we have a new identity, Christ’s word bears fruit among us

New American Standard Bible, 1995 Edition: Paragraph Version Chapter 3

Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17

Look first with me at the first part of verse 15: “Let the word of God dwell richly in you...”

Christ’s word bears fruit among us. I said among us, and not within us, because the emphasis here and in fact in all of Colossians is me or you individually - instead here the emphasis is on the fathered church and what they should do together during that gathering. What should Christian worship look when the church is gathered together’?

The worship of the early church and ours

There must be corporate preaching and teaching

There must be corporate singing

All of this comes out of deep gratitude to God for saving us

First, there was preaching and teaching - on the screen, verse 15, “with all wisdom teaching and admonishing each other. That’s priority number 1. Priority number two is worshiping through song. And he clearly did not intend to prescribe one style of music. Did you notice that at the end of verse 16: with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.”

God is a singing God. We read Scripture from the OT to the NT and this is what we find over and over again. The Bible speaks of God singing over us. The Bible speaks of even the creation joining in and worshiping God - things like mountains rocks praising the Lord. When we are born into this life we are born into a world where music and worship permeate. God a joyful God, and the world He made is a joyful world. God is a singing guard, because God is a joyful.

Now if we’re made in God’s image, and if in Christ we are like God, then its no surprise that the Bible invites the church to join in with the music of the ages. All of life is worship, no matter how mundane your life might be. But the church is the place where we gather to worship God with other believers.

So what should our worship look like, besides singing? Well, we’re called to teach. The pastor is the main teacher in the church, but others are gifted at teaching too. We are to teach one another. This doesn’t mean like sitting down and lecturing your neighbor. It means if you see a fellow believer repeatedly hurting himself or others, it means giving a gentle, based on Scripture. It means doing it wisely; doing it humbly; doing it at the right time and in the right place. It means praying for guidance. All the same, we’re called to teach and warn or admonish each other. It may sting for them, and it may embarrass you. But God might just use it to strengthen you and to save them from ruin.

Because after all, if we’ve trusted in Christ, if we’ve been born, if we’re one with him by faith, then God really and truly sees us just the same as He sees Him. He sees us as holy, loved, and chosen. And now that we have that new identity, it’s time for us start living like it. God is gracious when we fall. And He will lift us up and set us back on the path of obedience.

Conclusion/call for response

There’s an annual festival out west called Burning Man. Ever heard of burning man? Its founders say it’s about self-expression and community. It’s also abou It’s known for two other things: it’s known for rampant public sex, and it’s known as a place where there’s no pressure to be anything other than who you want to be. Now that sounds good, to some people. But all it does is increase a person’s confusion over who they are. One woman came to the festival and when asked why this was so important to her, this is what she said:

“I can be free. I can be naked. I can be fat. I can gay. You can just be whoever it is you need to be that day.”

So many young adults are struggling with who they are. They’re told they need to figure out who they are. In the past that pretty common. You know who you were by the relationships you had, your family, the kind of work you did, the kind of character you had. But what our culture has been is telling young people they don’t have to do any of that stuff anymore, but then they hang up to dry by not telling them where to go or what to do. They’ve been stripped of all that made them who they were, with the tragic result that they themselves don’t know who they are, and what’s worse is that they’re all alone.

And we who have trusted in Christ, we can help! We know who we are, and we can help others know who they are in Christ. But we can only help them unless we’ve discovered our true identity in Christ. Because we have a new identity, because we’re loved and chosen by God, it’s time for us to start living like that; it’s time for us to become who we really are.

Some of you this morning may not ever received that new identity in Christ. Maybe you’ve never realized it until. Maybe you’ve never felt worthy of salvation, you never imagined God could love you. You may have walked so far away and fallen so hard that you can’t believe that God would want you back like that. Oh friends, that is when His hearts goes after you the most. That’s when He’s nearest to you! Brothers and sisters, His arms are open wide. You come to Him, you will not find Him lecturing you about what you ‘ve done. You’ll find Him just embracing you and saying, “Come on, let’s go home.” Pray to Him and tell Him that you want a relationship with HIm, that you’re sorry for your sin, and that you want to live for Him.

Most others of you this morning are believers, but at some point you veered off the path of discipleship. You may feel like it’s too late, you’re too far gone. But friends, no one is more gracious than God. He is committed to you in totality. When we fail to live up to where we are in Christ, when we fall and hurt ourselves, we find Jesus picking us up, wiping the dust off of us, and with a smile asking us, “Are you ready to try again?”

Whatever the place you’re in, God knows. Talk to Him about. What has He shown you this morning:? Take that to Him in prayer. And receive His grace,.