Facing the Giant of Guilt

Intro

Two men were on trial for armed robbery. An eye witness took the stand to testify and the prosecutor got up to begin questioning. First, he asked the eye witness… were you at the scene of the robbery? Yes the eye witness stated. Did you see the vehicle leave the scene at a high rate of speed? Yes the eye witness stated. Did you see the occupants? Yes the eye witness said. Then the prosecutor loudly asked, are these two men in this courtroom today? At this point the two defendants raised their hands and sealed their fate.

The truth is, at some point in our lives, we have to say that I did it. We all have things we have struggled with and we are all guilty of sin. All you have to do to be guilty is one sin…

James 2:10 NLT

10 For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws.

Now there are different degrees of guilt. Some guilt may cause us to feel bad while other guilt may result in going to jail as in the lives of the two armed robbers.

With God, whether it’s one sin or a lot of sins, we are all guilty… we are in the same boat.

Today we are going to talk about real guilt. Whats the difference between real guilt and false guilt or shame? How do we typically deal with guilt and how does God deal with guilt?

So first,

What is Guilt?

We all know what it feels like… usually bad.

Psalm 38:4 NLT

4 My guilt overwhelms me— it is a burden too heavy to bear.

We all know what that overwhelmed and burdened down feeling is like. We have all experienced it at one time or another. It’s that feeling of, “I hope nobody finds out.”

is that what guilt is about? Is it just something God sends into our lives? We do something wrong so He is going to let us feel bad for a while? I don’t think so.

The purpose of guilt is not just to make you feel bad.

Guilt is a warning light

When the warning light comes on your car, it’s telling you something is wrong. friend of mine years ago… daughter’s car quit running… red light has been on for several days… That warning light was telling her that some thing was wrong and needed to be fixed.

That’s what guilt does for you, it lets you know that something’s wrong. Unfortunately, we do the same thing this person’s daughter did… we ignore it and pretend it’s not there. That will only work for a short while. That warning light might be telling you that you need to get back to your relationship with God… to read the word… to spend time with God in prayer… etc.

Before we go too far, there are

Two Kinds of Guilt

2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT

10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.

There is genuine guilt

Thats when you are really guilty. We do things that are wrong and we feel guilt because we haver hurt others and God with our sin.

There is false guilt which is actually shame

This kind of guilt attacks who you are, not what you did. The dash light came on… what will people think? I can’t let them know… That’s false guilt or shame. It attacks you, not what you did.

This kind of guilt is a big problem with a lot of people, they just feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. You are constantly telling yourself that you are not enough… that you haven’t done enough… that you haven’t suffered enough…

We all need to understand that your false guilt that you struggle with may be because of what someone else has done to you… it wasn’t your fault. It could be that a parent, a friend, a relative has commited some type of abuse to you… verbal, mental, emotional or even physical. Maybe you grew up with parents who were master manipulators… and they manipulated you with guilt.

Maybe you struggle with getting past your past. You feel like God just can’t forgive you because you have been too bad. you have asked God thousands of times to forgive you but you don’t feel it. That’s when you have to realize you feelings lie. The fact of the matter is that God does forgive you.

We have all dealt with false guilt at one time or another, and today it’s popular in churches. It builds more walls than doors and it closes in on you and it becomes a problem.

Paul deals with some people struggling with false guilt…

Galatians 3:3 NLT

3 How foolish can you be? After starting your new lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?

When we struggle with false guilt you will never feel forgiven and you can never do enough.

How can you tell the difference between genuine guilt and shame?

There are three tests that will help us know the differeence.

1. Is the focus on people or God?

False guilt is that which comes as the results of judgments and the suggestions of men." True guilt is that which comes as a result of divine judgment, what God thinks about the situation. Dr Paul Tournier

If you are struggling with false guilt, you will find yourself striving for approval. You will become an approval junkie. You need it every day. It will wear you out because you are always performing and striving for approval.

is it people or God?

2. Is it vague or specific?

Most people struggling with false guilt, but feel bad. They can’t really identify what is making them feel bad, they just feel bad.

When it’s a general feeling of guilt, it’s Satan talking and not God

When God tell us something is wrong, it’s not vague, it’s like a laser and focuses in on the problem, not on us. He does it in ma y way… a sermon I hear… a podcast I listen to… a book I read… someone I talk to…

God says, here is what’s wrong and here is how to fix it.

3. Is it based on rules or relationships?

When you struggle with false guilt, it usually goes back to a feeling that you broke the rules. When you are struggling with real guilt, the feeling is, I hurt someone…

Psalm 51:4 NLT

4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.

David was concerned about his relationship with the Lord. That’s the difference. god uses guilt to move us back toward him. False guilt makes the rules more important than the relationship. Relationships are more important that rules. False guilt will blind you to all the good things God is doing in your life.

Next,

How do we usually try to handle guilt?

Face it we try to handle it on our own. Look back at the dashboard. How do you handle it when the light goes off? What’s amazing is that we have common ways of handling the warning when it goes off in our lives and they go all the way back to the Garden with Adam and Eve.

Genesis 3:6–7 NLT

6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

1. We handle it with shame

We feel bad about it. It’s like we think that if we can just feel bad enough, it will be ok. Most of you already know this… it doesn’t work.

2. We handle it by hiding

Adam and Eve went and hid in the bushes… as if God, the creator of the universe, didn’t know they were there. It’s like ignoring the light on the dash… Anyone of you ever hid out? How did it work?

ILL - ringing door bells and we hid in the woods… man hot at us ...

Genesis 3:8–14 NLT

8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” 11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” 13 Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” 14 Then the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all animals, domestic and wild. You will crawl on your belly, groveling in the dust as long as you live.

3. When we get caught, we blame someone else.

Adam blamed God and the woman… the woman blamed the snake and the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on…

Too often, most people’s first response is to blame others. We all do this. If my boss wasn’t so mean, I would not have to drink this 6 pack after work… if he hadn’t cheated, I would not have … One guy one time told me, if it wasn’t for alcohol, I would not have killed my wife. A passing deputy piped up that if it were not for banks, people would not rob them.

This doesn’t work.

It’s like the guy who heard a noise from under his car. He pulled over and everything looked ok. He called a mechanic who told him to get it fixed right away. But it looked good to him so he thought he would take it to another mechanic… Two miles down the road, his wheel fell off.

What do you do when the wheels come off? You look at it and say, it’s not too bad, I can go a little further… then it doesn’t work any more. You need to turn to God’s way of dealing with guilt.

How does God handle our guilt?

God’s way of dealing with our guilt is GRACE

When I first became a Christian many years ago, one of my favorite verses was this one.

1 John 1:9 NLT

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

Circle confess our sins … he is faithful and just .... to forgive

That’s how we need to deal with the guilt and hame that haunts us.

1. We have to confess our sins to God.

Come clean with the Lord and tell him that you are guilty… that you did it.

When it comes to sin, the main letter in that word is the letter “I” Sin is all about “I” I want to live my life… I am going to do what I want… Sin is leaving God out of your life.

Tell God that you left him out and because of it, you have messed up.

We we sin, we can either cover up or face up. We can either try to act like it’s not there or take responsibility for it and face up to it. When you face up to it, the first thing you do is to tell God that you are facing up to it… that’s called confession.

Psalm 69:5 NLT

5 O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you.

He already knows anyway, so come clean with God.

Confessing to God is more than acknowledging we did something wrong

The literal meaning of confessing to God is “saying the same thing about.” When you confess to God, you are agreeing with him about your sin… that you are wrong and it’s wrong.

How do you do that? Prayer

You do it through Prayer. You get to talk with God. Make a list if you want to. Ask him to reveal to you anything in you that He sees and guess what … he will.

Write out your list of things you feel guilt and shame over and confess them to the Lord and then shred or burn them. You confess 1 John 1:9 over them and get rid of them. Then when the devil tries to get you feeling bad again, tell him that those sins have been paid for and forgiven.

God also encourages us to tell a trusted friend

This is more about healing … than forgiveness.

James 5:16 NLT

16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

You may have told God a hundred times but never told anyone else. Because of that you're still struggling with guilt that keeps coming up about that sin. There's something healing about telling a trusted friend. You need to develop the right person, but when you do, that sin that looks so big becomes really small. When you tell someone you may think you are the only one only to find out they struggled before too. There is something to realizing that you are not the only one.

1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT

13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

We are all tempted the same.

The 2nd part of 1 John 1:9 is key.

1 John 1:9 NLT

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

2. We have to Trust God’s character

He is faithful and just to forgive. We have to trust that part of the verse… that part of God. You can count of God to forgive because it’s who He is.

The key is to get closer and closer to God. When you hold him at arm’s length, it’s difficult to trust him. The closer you get to him, the more you will trust him.

Hebrews 10:22 NCV

22 let us come near to God with a sincere heart and a sure faith, because we have been made free from a guilty conscience, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.

Jesus make us free from a guilty conscience. He doesn’t give us one, he frees us from one. That is what the cross was all about. That’s what giving him your life is all about. When you get close to Him you experience His Grace… you feel it.

You don’t become the person God wants you to be through guilt, you become the person God wants you to be through Grace.

We have to live in the Tree of Life, not the Tree of the Knowledge of good and evil.

It’s like you go skating. You go around the edge holding on so that you want fall. That’s how too many people live the Christian life. They hold onto the walls of religion even though they have been forgiven. That’s not the way to enjoy living for the Lord. Skate… swing back to the tree of life.

You may think that you will fall. You will, but you will do better the next time. You will never be who God wants you to be holding onto the boards of guilt… It’s God’s grace that allows you to be who he wants you to be.

3. Accept God’s forgiveness

1 John 1:9 NLT

9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

He can be trusted to forgive YOU. And at the end of this verse it says he will cleanse you. Listen to me, god loves you where you are, but he loves you too much to leave you there. He forgives you but then he cleanses you. Grace cleanses you from your sins. Look at this promise

John 3:18 NLT

18 “There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son.

When you believe in Jesus as your Savior and Lord, you are not judged guilty. You are judged if you do not believe.

God is telling someone today that needs to hear this… When you trust in me, YOU are NOT GUILTY! Your sins are paid in full.

ILL - someone pays your meal ticket…

I know some of you are still struggling with shame. You are thinking, Pastor Robert, you don’t know what I have done… how much I have hurt my family and others. You don’t know the crime I have committed. How could God possibly forgive me?

When you lick up the WOG and read it, you will read story after story that says God will not only forgive you, but he will use you.

Abraham - He started out as a guy worshiping idols, struggle with lying, and now he is called the Father of the faith.

Moses - Moses began as a murderer, but he became the man God used to free His people, the nation of Israel.

John Mark - he was a coward. He left a missionary trio with Paul because he was afraid. He later wrote the book of Mark.

Paul - he started out as Saul, the Pharisee who persecuted Christians. He actually stood by and cheered as a young man when Christians were killed. You and I know him as the Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament.

God not only wants to free you of your guilt, He wants to use you in a new way. That’s the good news about GRACE. I know this is difficult. for some of you, your guilt and shame has become your best friend… sort of like a teddybear with teeth. You cuddle it, but it will bite you. Your guilt motivates you to get going in the morning and to get right before bed. You worry that if you step out into the fresh air of God’s grace that you won’t be able to stay motivated.

God’s GRACE will hold you up much better than your guilt. Step out into god’s grace. Leave the Tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil and swing to the tree of Life. Skate out in the middle. It can be scary but it’s worth it.

for some of you, your guilt is your enemy that you have run from all your life. You pretend it’s not there, but it is and it chases you every day.

Psalm 32:3–4 NLT

3 When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. 4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude

Either way, look at this… David finally admitted his sin to the Lord.

Psalm 32:5 The Living Bible

5 until I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, “I will confess them to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

That’s amazing.

Some of you need the first half of the verse. I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hid them.” Just tell him you are tired and you want to confess to him.

Others of you need the 2nd half of the verse where it says, and you forgave me. Don’t wait another day. Know today that God is the God of GRACE who wants to forgive you and shower His grace upon your life.

Do we deserve it? NO. Why does He do it then? Because he loves us!

BOW heads and close eyes. Talk to God… Admit your sin to him. … Pray the sinners prayer but add - today as best I can, I accept your forgiveness into my life. Help me to live a life of Grace… a live in the Tree of Live..