The Worthy Walk for a Glorious Calling
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Well James & Courtney, you have done it - you have officially entered a new calling life. Just like when you commited to Jesus Christ in becoming a Christian - God called you by His grace and you responded faith and repentance - take hold of not only enteral life - forgiveness of your sin, but you got a whole new outlook and goal to shoot for. Well in a similar way the first thing your wedding text should remind you is that this Christian marriage you have entered today - it is now part of that calling with which God has planned and called you. It’s part of his goal for your live sin this world.
A. What is the Calling of God in Your Marriage, YOUR Xn MARRIAGE IS A GLORIOUS CALLING FROM GOD to reflect God’s love
We are living in times when the expectations for marriage have never been higher and the results never lower. And briefly the reason why is because our world forgets that the poinnt of life and the point of marriage that reflects it -isn’t self-fulffilment - . Go back to the Garden of Eden - and see as our Form for Marriage mentioned it - yes companionship - but that’s partnership a communion of self-giving - marriage to reflect that - great delight and satisfying - but serves higher purpose and calling than just I am going to squeeze all the happiness and comfort out of you as a I can, and if doesn’t work our individual happiness done. No, just like called by God into salvation, into community, body of Christ the Church- discover need each other, discover in giving oneself find oneself.
When marriage is seen as just self-fulfillment and serving yourself, or even serving itself - it gets boring and narrow, and suffocates, Think back to the garden of Eden, God creates Adam not good alone - but why a helpmate - suitable compatible, complementary to him. God Himself in Scripture called a helper. But do you get that sense, calling in you two building a home - Lord willing children, but bigger serve neighbour better, bigger serve church of Jesus Christ,serve the world. REmember task God gave Adam - have dominion - take part of paradise tend it, and marriage is a joiniong of two uniwiuqe individuals into partenrship to do that work and that service that worship, that resting and enjoyment together! Your marriage isn’t just serving your needs, or even yourselfves together - it i sa calling from God and this day You say tha most important relatinoship in our relationship is with the Lord. He is head of our house, and we offer our marriage - how we treat each other, what we hope and work of r each other, what we do together - we offer it to the LORD.
You know what it is that gives your marriage? It gives your marriage God-divine purpose, not complicated to stay and grow in marriage, Its hard but it’s not complicated and it starts with seeing your marriage as a calling, a vocation, more important than all other human relationships. And why because its the relationship that God’s chosen to reflect what His love like! That’s the glorious calling of Christian marriage to experience and then to reflect the very love of God - with and to each other - and then to your family and to the world! That one verse Eph 4:3
eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Holds that kind of Unity taht God has - three Persons yet Lord our God is one, most beautiful interdependence, sharing of existanence in lvoe and comjhication - and we are called to reflect aht unity in Christ’s Church - that the calling the goal - same kind of three in One - mirrorded in marriage where two become one! We need marriages like yours as a testimony of what life is about - communion of love!
And that brings us to the second thing your text - not only that simple but glorious calling to reflect God’s love in your marriage, but how do you do that? What will that look like this first week of your marriage and 60 years from now?
B. THE WORTHY MANNER OF Xn MARRIAGE is humble gentleness & patient love
That calling and goal of having kind of unity thrice Personal God has - how does the community of Christ followers get that. And your little home, your marriage what will it look if really accept and strive for that goal and calling from God. Again not complicated secret nor a list of 10 or 15 or 100 don and don’ts for a successful marriage Not complicated, but it is hard.
Look at the first two pairs of virtues that marriage is to elicit and pull out of you. And this is really the pivot of this letter to Ephesians Christians and of Christian living - God has worked such grace and salvation, His love has called you into His unity and family its ended the hostility and alienation the loneliness -that exists between God and all people, and that same grace now gets to work ending the aloneness, alienation, the hostility that marks our relationship horizontally with each other including in marriage! God doesn’t tell us - act really worthy then therefore I will save and love you. Know in Christ He saves by grace first and then we say I’ve experienced such love and patience and forgiveness such oneness - now I know that worthy love, I will live it out. How are you going to do that with James, With Courtney?
i. Look at the first way - with all humility and gentleness! You will get a start on this worthy manner - if you understand two simple words - HUMBLE and the opposite is PRIDE. Those two words are all about the middle vowels in them. What is your manner of living, what is attitude and thinking U or I? This virtue of humility, which is also FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT GIVEN A CONVERSION - It was one Christians particularly Paul coined, to be humble was actually a bad thing in Roman culture, kind of like it goes against the NA motto -self-made man - Humility wasn't in Gk and Roman vocabularies. Only used of a slave giving deference to owner. But people where to put self first, live for making self first and great. But his is the #1 Christian virtue. James 4:6
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
This is the first beatitude of our Lord Jesus blessed are the poor in spirit, lowliness of mind, remembers I am depending on grace, I am not full of myself and haughty and proud. The gospel and a gospel centred marriage know Jesus turns life on its head. The way to find yourself is give your self for another and for the gospel sake. The way to greatness is not get people to serve you and clutch and grab. The one who would be great servant of all. This is what humility means: To live life orientated to God first and others. In this marriage if your manner is that your is directed first to the other and not to self - it will be worthy. humility is not false demeaning, - low self image, - no all we are and have by grace of Christ, not to inflate ego and self-importance BUT ENABLE US TO SERVE as loving, self-giving servants,…
Great model here is Phil 2: emptying yourself like Christ, not count equality something to be grasped took on the form of a servant.
Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
The example is Jesus showing that’s what he was doing on the cross, takes servants apron - washes the feet lowest job. Not weakness but strength in action with love. And its interesting if you ask a group of women what do you want in a man - strange combination: strength, confidence, and tenderness! AN arrogant person, doesn’t know how to use strengths. In marriage number one killer is contempt or disdain for other. Impossible with true humility which is expressed by the second virtue!
ii. But then Paul says that humble manner will be worked out and come to expression in gentleness. This was a positive trait in the ancient world, but it's one today that is misunderstood. Today people think to be gentle is to be soft and weak and a push over. It can be assumed that it means being a door-mat. But no. It’s to use one’s strengthened with self-control - so mindful of how the other receives you The ancients used the word gentleness to describe how a wild horse broken in and a wild horse tamed. It’s the opposite of always being angry or on edge, It doesn’t mean never angry, But your spirit’s mild and self-controlled. Just like your most public wedding kiss - symbol of affection; this gentleness means your worthy manner - means with great care when anger or frustration or tiredness come - and they will - you are always able to communicate I am not against you I am for you,
iii. But if you are going to walk like this in marriage there is a third virtue - that must mark your character with each other. And you will make little progress, and the precious gift will be damaged and broken without this. And that third virtue that you must prioritize in walking with each other in Christ is patience!
Many look at patience, as just an ability to put up with each other. You’re in a row-boat in marriage and if one lean one way and starts to rock the boat the other has to steady it. But biblical patience this too a gift of the Spirit, is more than enduring each other. The word is literally - big or wide -souled. It means you have this largeness of soul to endure all that little annoyances and also the bigger difference two people living in communion are sure to have. You see all of these humility, gentleness, patience - they are the character of God - in God’s grace, been slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Think of how patient God is in dealing with us and this world - that is a core aspect of Christian love isn’t it? 1 Cor 13:4
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
This doesn't mean indifferent and you don’t care - but instead of having an explosive argumentative, provocative attitude you have a forgiving and charitable Spirit. One counsellor put it this way: In our personalities we all have certain minefields hidden beneath the surface, sensitive points - were we respond way out of proportion - easy to push our buttons. Most [e[p;e have one or two of those mine fields for every ten acres. But some people its wall-to wall mines - there is no safe-passage way through their field. always getting angry always upset. Can’t be that with each other. And that brings us to what i have been telling you is the greatest thing going for Christian marriage: love covers over a l multitude of sin - sometimes wisdom to overlook, other times confront , and alway to take it to the Lord, to acknowledges wrong and hurt and to repent - Christian forgiveness - love always hopes always endures. Like your wedding bands, rings, circle that never ends, your patient endurance - longsuffering - got to be continuous and unconditional.
So these are the ways you’ve got to live out your calling in a manner worthy of the grace you’ve received: humility and gentleness and patient - love that bears one-another. Those are the virtues must clothes yourself with everyday of your marriage.
But lastly, even if you have the calling or goal, and even if you have the manner - never really goes anywhere without the last part of your text. Not the goal or the manner of your marriage, but the motivation:
C. THE MOTIVATION OF YOUR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE IS experiencing the Unity OF THE SPIRIT IN THE BOND OF PEACE
Christian unity is not something, you have to create your own - try to get people to think the same way. The best this world’s unity unity is always temporary and really shallow. But the Unity God gives people through Jesus Christ, is a divine gift, He makes us One with God, and He breaks down all the walls of division between believers. He also makes us one with another. Your text ends with 7 ones - that you all share together - one body, one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith one baptism on God and Father of all. When you feel that belonging - with God and with His people - you know its precious. When you feel the oneness the unity that God has called you to in marriage : Listen to it from Malachi 2 - I made you one, with a portion of my Spirit. Great mystery of marriage. But just like unity in the church, unity in your marriage while a great motivation, is something that is so fragile. It will grow and it weakens. It is a little but of a constant dance - and to come back to that unity takes work! So Paul gives his third direction with this third point: Eph 4:3
eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
How many of you know Courtney’s email address? It is striking and really communicates a passion and motivation in her life - animalsaremylife. You value care for, give of yourself for animals. That’s what it means that from a young age you have been eager, you have ZEAL.
Well this unity in marriage - like a precious but fragile family heirloom - like bowl in my parents entrance way - And Paul says - be zealous - too keep your unity. To guard and protect, to nurture and grow it. How will you do that. The very last words of your wedding texts. Maintain the unity of the Spirit IN THE BOND OF PEACE. The passage began with Paul saying, I am a bond prisoner not of Caesar but of Jesus Christ. The Romans may think they are in control but I am a prisoner for and in Jesus Christ - and just like I am bond tied, chained to a prison guard, you have to be so commited and crazy about the unity the life in Christian marriage - that its like your chained, not ball in chain dragging each other. but like Ecclesiastes puts it: Two are better than one - keep each other warm, betteer return for their work, And do you remember how it goes next? A cord of three strands not easily broken. James, Courtney not the strongest bonds of peace … If you have a rope with 1 or two strands not strongest, if you have 4 or 5 or 10 not strongest, engineers explain that 3 strand rope - each always in contact with the other - Christian marriage - bond of peace in the Spirit with our Lord. See animal - attentive to it, compassionate , invest what you can. That’s zeal And Paul is saying motivation of unity means - attentive to what build up or is tearing down those strands of life together. Value it, Invest in each in them. Got to alert, little internal radar, to root out anything destroy that unity, and because love is what binds everything together, you’ve got to be diligent in making time and room for what build up this unity. Time together, Prayer, worship, Bible reading, serving together, being generous and giving to others, delighting in God’s good gifts.
James and Courtney: No one was really surprised that you two got engaged, surprised how quickly got married yes. And there is something so wonderful about it all - long growing love and then marriage like a bright flash maybe all the more brilliance. But let me conclude - by thanking you for letting us share in this bright flash of your marital love, but listen Ephesus was later told in Rev 2-3 don’t leave your first love. Another group of Christians told love is not hot or warm -its lukewarm. And its my prayer that the suddenness of this marriage, then display of red hot love of this marriage from the LORD - that by keeping God’s goal for marriage - adopting His manner -really simple - humble, gentle, patient love , and keeping your motivation in experiencing true unity with God in the bond of peace that you living a worthy married life may tell the world around you - this unity in Christ, this communion this love is what life is all about. Amen.