Praying When I Feel Alone

NOTE:

This is a manuscript, and not a transcript of this message. The actual presentation of the message differed from the manuscript through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it is possible, and even likely that there is material in this manuscript that was not included in the live presentation and that there was additional material in the live presentation that is not included in this manuscript.

Engagement

The physical toll that the COVID pandemic has taken in our country and in our world over the past year and a half has been devastating. This last week, we passed over 600,000 deaths here in the U.S. and we’re nearing 4 million deaths worldwide. And that doesn’t include all the people who will have lifelong symptoms as a result of the virus.

But perhaps just as devastating is the emotional toll that has come with all the physical distancing and mask-wearing and other measures that have been taken to slow the spread of the virus. Personally, I’m not nearly as much of a hugger as many of you, but the lack of contact with others now has me actually longing to hug and shake people’s hands.

So it’s really not surprising that the rates of depression and anxiety have increased fairly significantly over this time, particularly among young people and women. What is really fascinating to me, however, is that in spite many claims to the contrary, the suicide rate here in the U.S. has actually decreased during the pandemic.

Tension

But even though feelings on loneliness may have increased during the pandemic, they were actually on the rise even before the pandemic began. One study done in January 2020, showed that more than 3 in 5 Americans said they were lonely.

So it’s quite likely that many of you are experiencing feelings of being alone right now. And if you’re not, you are certainly likely to have those feelings at some point in your life. So today, as we continue our series - Psalms -The Language of Prayer - we’re going to see that this isn’t a new problem at all. But even more importantly, we’re going to learn how we can pray during those times that we are feeling alone.

Truth

Before we begin to explore today’s passage, I want to take a few minutes to explain the structure of the Psalms because I think it will help us better understand the two Psalms we’ll look at today. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and open up to Psalm 42, which is where we will begin in a moment.

In most of your Bibles you will note that right before Psalm 42, there is a section heading that reads “Book Two”. The book of Psalms originally consisted of as many as 150 individual Psalms. Nobody really knows for sure who did it and when it was done, but at some point, a person or group of people organized those individual Psalms into the form in which we have them today. And at that time, they likely wrote Psalms 1-2 as an introduction to the book and Psalm 150 as a conclusion.

They also divided the book of Psalms into five books, which very likely was intended to correspond to the first five books of the Bible, which are also known as the Pentateuch or the Torah. That means that Book Two, which begins with Psalm 42, corresponds to the book of Exodus, which is the story of God delivering His people from slavery in Egypt. So, not surprisingly, the Psalms in Book Two primarily deal with God redeeming and saving His people.

Most, but not all of the Psalms, have a title that is technically called a superscription. Those superscriptions often identify the author and the circumstances under which the Psalm was written. They also sometimes include some kind of instructions concerning how the Psalm was to be used in worship.

With that in mind, we’re now ready to look at this morning’s passage. Originally, I was only going to cover Psalm 42. But, as I’ll explain more fully in a moment, I am also going to include Psalm 43 as well.

Psalm 42 ESV

To the choirmaster. A Maskil of the Sons of Korah. 1 As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. 2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? 3 My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” 4 These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. 5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation 6 and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. 7 Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. 8 By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. 9 I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” 10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Psalm 43 ESV

1 Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause against an ungodly people, from the deceitful and unjust man deliver me! 2 For you are the God in whom I take refuge; why have you rejected me? Why do I go about mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? 3 Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! 4 Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God. 5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Let’s briefly look at the superscription to Psalm 42. This first thing to note is that it is address to the “choirmaster”. So we know right away that this was a song that was used in worship in the temple. I suppose if this psalm was written to our church today it would be addressed to Steve Ponzo, or maybe to the worship team as a whole.

Second, we see that this Psalm is identified as a “maskil”. And if you were paying attention last week, hopefully you noticed that Psalm 32 was also a maskil. Although we don’t know its exact meaning, it comes from a Hebrew word that means “to instruct” or “to make someone wise”. So the purpose of this psalm in worship was to instruct people and make them wise.

Finally, it is either “of” or “to” the Sons of Korah. Korah had led a revolt against Moses during the wilderness. He and the other leaders of the revolt all died, but his sons were spared and by the time of David they had become the leaders of singing during worship in the tabernacle and later the temple. Since traditionally David is identified as the author of this psalm, it is likely that the Sons of Korah were the recipients of the psalm rather than the authors.

Now let’s look at the superscription for Psalm 43. Oops, there isn’t one is there. That is one of the reasons that many, including me, think that Psalms 42 and 43 were originally one psalm that somehow got broken into two at some point in time. That idea is supported by the fact that these two psalms were combined in many ancient manuscripts. And there is one more fact that really seals that idea for me. Look at verse 5 of Psalm 43. Does that look familiar? It should, because it is exactly the same as verses 5 and 11 of Psalm 42. That is the only place in the Bible that we find this exact wording. So there is some pretty compelling evidence we ought to look at these two Psalms together.

And when we do that, here is the big idea we see:

When I’m feeling all alone it’s more important to pursue God than to pursue a plan

While we can’t be sure that David is the author of this Psalm, the circumstances the psalmist is facing are certainly consistent with those that David faced when he had to flee from his own son, Absalom, who had attempted a violent coup against his father. No doubt this would have left David feeling all alone. He couldn’t be with much of his family. He couldn’t interact with his friends. He couldn’t worship God in the Temple along with His fellow Jews.

On the other hand, I’m actually glad that the author and the specific circumstances aren’t specified here, because it makes this psalm applicable to all of us whenever we are feeling all alone, regardless of what circumstances have caused that. However, just to keep things simple this morning and not have to continually refer to the “psalmist” or the “author” if this Psalm, I’m going to refer to David as the author.

But regardless of who the author is, we clearly see here that when he was feeling alone, he pursued a person and not a plan. Unfortunately, we often do completely the opposite, not only when it comes to our loneliness, but in every area of our lives. We just want God to show us a plan to deal with the situation, when what God desires is for us to seek Him first.

We see this immediately in verses 1-2. There is nothing more important to David than seeking God. He thirsts for God - not what God can give him - in the same way that a thirsty deer seeks flowing streams of water. Right now, it’s pretty easy for us to understand how intense that longing is. We normally have deer feeding in the common area behind our house, but with the hot dry, weather we haven’t seen them for a while. My guess is that they are seeking out water on some of the nearby golf courses or wherever they can find water.

When we’re alone that is how we are to seek God. And at least one of the ways we do that is to pray like David prays here. So let’s see what we can learn about...

Application

HOW TO PRAY WHEN I’M FEELING ALONE

Make sure I know God personally

If you’ve been here at TFC for any time at all, this is an idea that you’ve certainly heard on a frequent basis. While many biblical principles work even in the lives of those who don’t have a personal relationship with God, many of the blessings that God promises to His children only come to those who have a personal relationship with Him that comes through faith in Jesus.

We see here that David knew God personally before he went through this season of life. Notice all the personal pronouns he uses:

“my salvation”

“my God”

“the God of my life”

“my rock”

“my exceeding joy”

Not only that, but right in the middle of these two Psalms, in verse 8, you will notice a change in how he refers to God.

If I counted correctly, David refers to God using the Hebrew word “Elohim”, which is translated as “God”, 19 times in this passage. That is the generic word for God in Hebrew. But in verse 8, he calls God “YHWH”, which is translated as “LORD”. That is the covenant name for God that is used to describe the covenant relationship between God and His people. If in fact, both of these Psalms were originally one Psalm, that means that verse 8 is right in the middle of this Psalm, and therefore represents a turning point for David. God is more than just everyone’s God, He is David’s personal “Lord”.

And that relationship was in place prior to all the trials that he was now experiencing. So we learn here that my prayers when I’m feeling alone are only going to be effective if I have a personal relationship with God through faith in Jesus.

Be honest with God

As we mentioned last week, the prayers that we find in the Psalms are often raw and brutally honest. That is certainly true here. David complains about those who are taunting him by asking where his God is. He even asks God directly why God has forgotten him and rejected him. Now obviously God has done neither of those things, but that’s how David feels, so he expresses his feelings to God.

I think that a lot of times, we’re afraid to be that honest with God, but we really shouldn’t be. God already knows everything we’re thinking and feeling. So we might as well go ahead and have a conversation with God about our feelings. Obviously we need to be careful to not take things too far and accuse God of things that aren’t true about Him. But I don’t get the sense that is happening here. When David asks, “why have you forgotten me” or “why have you rejected me”, he isn’t really accusing God of doing that, he’s just expressing how he feels.

And I think it’s particularly important for us to voice our feelings like that when we’re feeling alone. The Bible is actually full of examples of some very godly men who did that at some point in their lives - Moses, Elijah, John the Baptist and Peter all come to mind. But in each of those cases, having the conversation with God eventually led to the person understanding that they had never really been alone. God had been with them all along.

Don’t expect a “quick fix”

In these two psalms we watch David alternate between periods of lament and periods of hope. There are four such cycles. [Show table]. What I really like about this structure is that it shows that he didn’t experience a quick fix. He didn’t just pray once and then all his problems were fixed or he didn’t suddenly feel better about everything. That is real life, isn’t it?

When we’re feeling lonely or get depressed it often takes several such cycles before we pull out of our nose dive. The key thing is that we deal with our loneliness head on and not allow it to control us. What is important is that we are making progress. And knowing that things aren’t necessarily going to get fixed right away allows us to persevere even when we might not see immediate results.

Even at the end of these two Psalms, the author isn’t completely where he wants to be. But he is still engaged in the battle. He is still fighting to have his thirst for God satisfied and to have hope. We would do well to follow his example.

Focus on God’s character, not my circumstances

Although David describes the circumstances that cause him to feel alone, he doesn’t dwell there. Every time he mentions why he is feeling alone, he then reminds himself of God’s character. He focuses on God’s steadfast love, on the fact that God is his rock who is dependable and always there for him, that he can take refuge in God because God will protect him.

The key to doing that is found in verse 3 of Psalm 43:

Psalm 43:3 ESV

3 Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling!

David desires to be led by God’s light and truth. In other words, he is not going to live based on his emotions but rather based on the truth of who God is.

For us, that means spending consistent time in God’s Word getting to know Him. It means memorizing Scripture that reminds us of God’s character so that when we come to those times when we’re feeling alone, we can go back to the Bible and be reminded that God will never leave us or forsake us. If you’ve never done that, let me give you a couple of passages that are a good place to start. And if you can’t memorize them, at least know where to find them in your Bible:

Deuteronomy 31:6-8

Isaiah chapter 43

Hebrews 13:5-6

Praise God even when I don’t feel like it

David remembers the times that he had praised God along with his fellow Jews as they worshiped together in the Temple. But right now, he doesn’t feel much like praising God. But he makes a decision to put his hope in God and praise God in spite of how he feels.

One of the songs that we often sing here at TFC expresses this idea really well:

Yes I Will

Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley Yes I will, bless Your name Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy All my days, oh yes I will

Although this last principle I’m going to share doesn’t specifically a part of how to pray when I’m feeling lonely, it is so important to overcoming those feelings of loneliness that I’d be remiss not to include it.

Don’t become isolated

David looks back to the times when he gathered to worship with his fellow Jews and he also looks forward to the time when He will do that again. He understands that corporate worship is one of the best antidotes there is to loneliness.

As grateful as I am for the technology that has allowed us to meet digitally when we were unable to meet safely in person, I am also becoming more and more concerned that there are some people who have gotten too comfortable with just watching our worship gathering online. I worry that you might choose to keep on doing that even though for our good as a body and your good as an individual, being together in person is by far the best option.

I understand that for some of you there are some valid reasons for you not to join us in person and I’m thankful that you’ve been faithful to join us online each week. But I know I’m really looking forward to seeing you face to face again. In the meantime, I want to encourage you to make sure you find some way to have some good meaningful fellowship with some other disciples of Jesus.

When I’m feeling all alone it’s more important to pursue God than to pursue a plan

Action

Some of you need to begin that process by putting your faith in Jesus for the very first time. And there is nothing we would love more than to help walk you through that process. So if God is putting that on your heart this morning, please let us know so we can help you do that.

For the rest of you who have already made that decision, my prayer for you is that you’ll take to heart and put into practice the things we’ve learned together today, especially if you’ve been feeling all alone. In particular I want to take you back to one specific suggestion that I made earlier. I’ve left space in your sermon outline to write down Deuteronomy 31: 8 Or if you haven’t printed out the sermon outline you can just get a blank piece of paper. And I’m going to ask you right now to write down that verse. I’ll put it on the screen for you.

Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV

8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Or if you’d rather you can pick one of the other verses I mentioned earlier like Hebrews 13:5-6.

And this week I want to encourage you to memorize those verses. I can assure you that if you’re capable of writing those verses down, you are also capable of memorizing them. And then, every time you begin to feel like you’re all alone I want you to pray those words back to God.

Inspiration

Loneliness has always been a problem in this world. And it seems that it has become increasingly prevalent, even among those who are disciples of Jesus. But God has promised never to leave us or forsake us. So if we’ll just keep pursuing Him we don’t ever have to be alone.